Dillards 52: Making Life Look Complicated

[Ilovebrownies]

I think you all give Jim Slob too much credit with all this speculation about non disclosures, trusts, etc.  I don't think he is that smart.

[luv2laugh]

43 minutes ago, socalrules said:

Derick is making Jill look like a fool. Everyone wants him to write a tell-all book, which I have no doubt would be full of lies to make him look like Jesus, but it would no doubt deeply hurt Jill. How is that ok? You get to read your sleeze but Jill is hurt in the process? Jill isn’t going to turn again the Duggars but she is always going to be stuck between her family and the Derick’s ranting. Lots of people come from screwed up families but it doesn’t mean their spouse is necessarily in the right to rage against them and seemingly try to force a distance between someone and their family. 

That’s why I’ve been in such shock over this and have been staying tuned and more shocked by more tweets. I can’t believe he is hurting Jill by stoking flames. She was always the peace-maker righteous one and was rewarded for that. My heart breaks for her because she is completely codependent and can’t properly nor emotionally navigate a toxic family shitfest, let alone a Papa vs. #sweethubby war. This isn’t someone like Jessa having to cope. 

For Derick to say things like “We should write a book to set the record straight.” shows he cares more about his ego & taking down JB than for Jill’s sanity. THAT scares me.

IF he loved Jill, he’d shut the hell up, move away from JB and play nice at family holidays, and give Jill independence by taking nursing assisting classes. A douchey kid like him is not going to be the one to take down a toxic loaded ($) man like JB and there’s no point in attempting to when people like Jill will get hurt.

[Nowyn]

Now I have finally read through the thread (with Hamilton blasting).

Surprising amount of people are unable to rationally figure out why they are feeling like something. I think it is entirely possible Jill is angry, miserable and resents her family. To the point where she agrees with DD. One thing I don't think she would be OK is airing the dirty laundry. She has been taught that so long that it is unlikely she wouldn't feel it. Especially as it is something that is often inherent to humans. Shame comes so easy.

I am probably projecting some. I am not stupid and I have a good education but it took a long time and a lot of therapy to figure out why I was and still am so angry with my family. And even I don't air the dirty laundry publicly, even though I sometimes want to. At least my parents didn't protect my sexually abusive brother instead of me and didn't cripple me with no education or experiences.

 

JB isn't, in my opinion, smart but he is wily and controlling. Derrick has probably some intelligence but he isn't wily and he doesn't seem to have any practical intelligence. Jill is kind of useless in these kinds of things. I actually believe that only one as wily as JB might be Jeremy. Which is why I, too, believe him coming to the scene and Sam's birth with the likely complications are the reasons for the timing of DD's meltdowns. 

 

And yes, I m gleeful but I also do feel sorry for all of the Duggars apart from JB and M and their parents. Like I mentioned before I am a bleeding heart type and there are very few people I don't wish good things. But that is my issue and I don't think my hopes are an indication of reality. Miserable people make other people miserable.

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

of course it was the chocolate mess it wouldn't be a Duggar birthday without one. 

 

[Drala]

15 minutes ago, socalrules said:

Forget hurting the Duggar brand, Derick is hurting Jill. No matter how much you dislike JimBob, Jill loves her father and that won’t change. I am one of those I can talk shit about my family but you are starting a fight with me if you talk shit about my family. Jill likely doesn’t have the skills to know how to fight his raging against her family as she didn’t even seem to be able to articulate how she did not want to be in CA. 

Derick is making Jill look like a fool. Everyone wants him to write a tell-all book, which I have no doubt would be full of lies to make him look like Jesus, but it would no doubt deeply hurt Jill. How is that ok? You get to read your sleeze but Jill is hurt in the process? Jill isn’t going to turn again the Duggars but she is always going to be stuck between her family and the Derick’s ranting. Lots of people come from screwed up families but it doesn’t mean their spouse is necessarily in the right to rage against them and seemingly try to force a distance between someone and their family. 

I think it comes down two things. 1. Derick may enjoy the attention he gets when he rages on Twitter and then turns tail and deletes the posts when it gets too hot. It’s the Twitter version of Pistol Pete. 2. Derick is dissatisfied with his life and is at a point when it’s likely time to get an adult job, the idea of which he abhors. 

I agree.  Derrick's rants are putting Jill in a terrible position.   From what she's posting on her IG, it looks like she's doubling down on the loyal, loving, supportive, joyfully available wifey role. It may not be enough to bring Derrick back from the edge or prompt him to grow up and start being #thebestfamilyman, but it's how she's been taught to cope with conflict.  As fascinating as I find Derrick's reprise of Pistol Pete on crack, I do worry about Jill and the kids.   

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, Nowyn said:

Now I have finally read through the thread (with Hamilton blasting).

Surprising amount of people are unable to rationally figure out why they are feeling like something. I think it is entirely possible Jill is angry, miserable and resents her family. To the point where she agrees with DD. One thing I don't think she would be OK is airing the dirty laundry. She has been taught that so long that it is unlikely she wouldn't feel it. Especially as it is something that is often inherent to humans. Shame comes so easy.

 

 

I don't know if Jill did find out her father was stealing money from her she might just let Derick write that Tell all. Money over integrity seems to be a Duggar main stay.

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

of course it was the chocolate mess it wouldn't be a Duggar birthday without one. 

 

Aren't those peanuts? This isn't BEC, I'm not criticizing him, I'm just confused - I thought Derick was allergic to peanuts? When he went for allergy testing and it turned out he was allergic to all kinds of stuff, wasn't peanuts one of the things, or am I remembering wrong? 

[Georgiana]

53 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

@Georgiana Interesting. So I'm wondering if maybe the Dillards were "volunteering" for 19K&C in the sense that Jim Bob and Michelle were the ones getting paid by TLC (or the production company). That would include Izzy's birth episode. Obviously Counting On would be a different story, as it starred Jill and Jessa, not JB and Michelle. 

See, I don’t think “the Dillards” WERE volunteering. I think DERICK was volunteering. When people catch on to his word games and start directly inquiring if JILL was paid, he suddenly starts blocking users and goes silent, when previously, he’d had all the time in the world. He’s making it SOUND like neither got paid, but he never directly says anything more than that HE didn’t get paid.

Which makes some sense. Jill may have been bound by the 19kids contract to film already. TLC might have told Derick that his appearance was optional. They’d prefer it and it would be better for the brand, but that they weren’t interested in opening up negotiations. But it was probably a requirement of courting Jill, and post marriage, JB and M might have pressured him and let him know that if they weren’t interested in “helping the family”, the family wouldn’t be interested in helping them (wedding bills, McMansion). 

It might have been all of the above. Depending on how TLC sets their contracts, they may offer a lump sum to be allowed access to all major life events between X date and Y date. The fact that Jill had a wedding AND a baby during that time IS a windfall for TLC, but it doesn’t mean they need to provide additional compensation unless there are bonuses in the contract. TLC just lucked out. They gambled and won, because they easily could have ended up with neither and lost money. I’m pretty sure Derick wouldn’t advocate for giving it back in that case. 

I can kind of see how Derick might feel cheated, but that’s all fairly above board. In the end though, every last tweet boils down to one thing:

Derick refusing to take responsibility for HIS choices in all of this, and looking for someone else to blame for why things didn’t turn out.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

5 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Aren't those peanuts? This isn't BEC, I'm not criticizing him, I'm just confused - I thought Derick was allergic to peanuts? When he went for allergy testing and it turned out he was allergic to all kinds of stuff, wasn't peanuts one of the things, or am I remembering wrong? 

He was also supposedly allergic to milk yet has been pictured eating pizza, enchiladas, and now ice cream.

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

He was also supposedly allergic to milk yet has been pictured eating pizza, enchiladas, and now ice cream.

Right, and I seem to recall him being allergic to "meat" too...? Which, like... yes, there is such thing as a "meat" allergy, but it's pretty damn rare. And yes, sometimes allergies are mild, but why would you eat the things you know you're allergic to and make yourself feel sick anyway? And why on earth would you screw around with something like a peanut allergy? Part of me wonders if the "allergist" he saw was one of those naturopaths who does phony blood tests and then says, "You're allergic to peanuts, dairy, meat, and air. Take these special $400 supplements and turn around in a circle on one leg every time there's a full moon, and you will be cured."

[nokidsmom]

11 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

I can kind of see how Derick might feel cheated, but that’s all fairly above board. In the end though, every last tweet boils down to one thing:

Derick refusing to take responsibility for HIS choices in all of this, and looking for someone else to blame for why things didn’t turn out.

  Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! 

[VelociRapture]

7 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

He was also supposedly allergic to milk yet has been pictured eating pizza, enchiladas, and now ice cream.

Wasn’t Derick’s allergies linked to exercise though? Like they were exercise induced reactions to certain foods? I thought that was the case. If so, it may be possible that he’s fine eating all that stuff as long as he doesn’t exercise within X amount of time.

(I’m obviously no expert, so anyone who knows more please jump in.)

38 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

That’s why I’ve been in such shock over this and have been staying tuned and more shocked by more tweets. I can’t believe he is hurting Jill by stoking flames. She was always the peace-maker righteous one and was rewarded for that. My heart breaks for her because she is completely codependent and can’t properly nor emotionally navigate a toxic family shitfest, let alone a Papa vs. #sweethubby war. This isn’t someone like Jessa having to cope. 

For Derick to say things like “We should write a book to set the record straight.” shows he cares more about his ego & taking down JB than for Jill’s sanity. THAT scares me.

IF he loved Jill, he’d shut the hell up, move away from JB and play nice at family holidays, and give Jill independence by taking nursing assisting classes. A douchey kid like him is not going to be the one to take down a toxic loaded ($) man like JB and there’s no point in attempting to when people like Jill will get hurt.

I agree. I’d very much enjoy seeing the family kicked off tv completely, but I don’t think it’s going to happen because of Derick’s Twitter tantrum and I seriously doubt he’ll ever actually write a book. The only thing he’s accomplishing here is possibly hurting the relationships between his family and his in-laws - and the person who is really going to get hurt here is Jill. 

 

[Nowyn]

11 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I don't know if Jill did find out her father was stealing money from her she might just let Derick write that Tell all. Money over integrity seems to be a Duggar main stay.

I don't think that is out of the realm of possibilities.  I think there are rebellion and anger on her and that is a mix that is pretty unpredictable.

[luv2laugh]

I strongly believe that Derick + Ben and other in-laws were never paid from 19 Kids and Counting On. They were volunteers. Counting On was Jill & Jessa. I believe the adult kids were paid via a trust and could’ve chosen to put JB’s name over everything so that he would legally have the right to dole cash out as he chooses. I imagine it would be something like if a submissive wife had a nursing job of her own but allowed her husband Matt to manage everything as he chose. JB was very angry over the thought of the show being no longer 19 Kids since he needed to maintain financial control and he’d be able to as long was the kids put his name on any accounts/trusts. The kids have always said the show as their parent’s ministry and that JB was leader of the home.

He’s talking in riddles to avoid flat out saying his issue is with JB. Again these are just my own wild thoughts but that’s how I see this situation.

[nokidsmom]

Agree this tantrum won't take the family off TV, as much as I would like to see it.   The book business is just bluster.   He's too busy tweeting his grievances to do a book anyway.   But he will damage, if not already, the relationship with his in-law family.  Yes, the in-laws are all a hot mess (and he willingly joined them!)  but they are his wife's family and his childrens' grandparents.   For the sake of his wife and kids, he should back off however I don't see that as very likely.  There are other ways to address any issues he feels he may honestly have, but blathering to the Twitterverse is not one of them.

[Nowyn]

2 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

Agree this tantrum won't take the family off TV, as much as I would like to see it.   The book business is just bluster.   He's too busy tweeting his grievances to do a book anyway.   

1

And if he ever does I feel bad for the editor of such book.

[nokidsmom]

3 minutes ago, Nowyn said:

And if he ever does I feel bad for the editor of such book.

Can you imagine?  D-Wreck would be an editor's nightmare. 

[Nowyn]

Just now, nokidsmom said:

Can you imagine?  Derrick would be an editor's nightmare. 

I try not to. 

[scoutsadie]

13 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Wasn’t Derick’s allergies linked to exercise though? Like they were exercise induced reactions to certain foods? I thought that was the case. If so, it may be possible that he’s fine eating all that stuff as long as he doesn’t exercise within X amount of time.

(I’m obviously no expert, so anyone who knows more please jump in.)

I don't recall Derick's specific diagnosis, but this is a thing. I have a mild oral allergy reaction to eating raw celery, but adding exercise (that is, elevated heart rate and temperature) after eating it has caused me to go into anaphylaxis several times.

[luv2laugh]

Another wild thought I’m speculating on is—-

Could it be possible Derick felt a sibling such was being paid more- whether by TLC or some sort of family trust- than Jill and caused a stink, leading Derick to have chosen to leave and take Jill with him? I could see JB not tolerating Derick feuding with other siblings over money and Derick pissing JB off by quitting the show and demanding Jill and his kids not be filmed either.

Derick doing this is a way for him to punish JB since Jill was a fan favorite and had highest ratings for the wedding. Derick also talked in riddles saying he was never fired.

I have no idea but as I’m thinking more about this, I think something like this could have possibly happened as most people only leave shows over disagreements about pay and also because Derick is wording things carefully so that they are literally true and seems to be using TLC as a straw man for JB.

[onekidanddone]

40 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

of course it was the chocolate mess it wouldn't be a Duggar birthday without one. 

 

So now we know where they went for their very special birthday dinner. The staff must see them out of the car and want to run like hell.

[Hisey]

I don't like Derick but I wonder if a book might be just the thing to help the younger children in the family.

Are Josie and Jordyn being hit with PVC pipes? It would be good if the public knew about this.

Are the older children "volunteers" on the show, in exchange for perks dolled out by JB? It would be good for the public to know this.

Remember, Jb is a man who paid his children--even his teenage children--three cents for each chore they did. Three cents. Mop the floor? Three cents. Change the oil in the car? Three cents. Babysit while Mama got her haircut? Three cents.

When the attention began, the kids were minors and were very used to their father controlling all the money. Even as they grew to adulthod, they were unsophisticated, uneducated young adults, used to their father's control and very easy to manipulate.

I don't think they get any money for the shows, except for whatever they filmed on their own smart phones, which would only have been in the last 7 years or so (since smart phones have not been around that long). That would explain the giant rush to film the scene when their little brother was severely injured. Which was one of the saddest things I've seen on the show, a young injured child and older siblings competing for the best footage. I don't like the Bates, either, but I really can't see Erin or Trace shoving a camera in the face of an injured Ellie.

[onekidanddone]

6 minutes ago, scoutsadie said:

I don't recall Derick's specific diagnosis, but this is a thing. I have a mild oral allergy reaction to eating raw celery, but adding exercise (that is, elevated heart rate and temperature) after eating it has caused me to go into anaphylaxis several times.

Exercise-Induced anaphylaxis rare but very real.  It sent my daughter to the emergency room twice in one month last spring. Both times the school nurse had to give her a shot of Epi and call 911.  Now she has to carry her Eip with her, but does she? No. It has gotten to the point that I have to   check her every time she goes out. There is much screaming, crying and stomping (both of us). 

[Ivycoveredtower]

6 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I don't like Derick but I wonder if a book might be just the thing to help the younger children in the family.

Are Josie and Jordyn being hit with PVC pipes? It would be good if the public knew about this.

Are the older children "volunteers" on the show, in exchange for perks dolled out by JB? It would be good for the public to know this.

Remember, Jb is a man who paid his children--even his teenage children--three cents for each chore they did. Three cents. Mop the floor? Three cents. Change the oil in the car? Three cents. Babysit while Mama got her haircut? Three cents.

When the attention began, the kids were minors and were very used to their father controlling all the money. Even as they grew to adulthod, they were unsophisticated, uneducated young adults, used to their father's control and very easy to manipulate.

I don't think they get any money for the shows, except for whatever they filmed on their own smart phones, which would only have been in the last 7 years or so (since smart phones have not been around that long). That would explain the giant rush to film the scene when their little brother was severely injured. Which was one of the saddest things I've seen on the show, a young injured child and older siblings competing for the best footage. I don't like the Bates, either, but I really can't see Erin or Trace shoving a camera in the face of an injured Ellie.

whoa I hadn't heard about the three cent rule that's nuts. obviously the older girls at least seem to have had debit or credit cards we saw Joy pull one out when she was buying that new dress for her date with Austin. If Derick did write  a book I think he'd focus on all that the Duggar's/TLC did to him. he's a very self centered person so I doubt we'd hear about the lost girls. 

[onekidanddone]

4 minutes ago, Hisey said:

re Josie and Jordyn being hit with PVC pipes? It would be good if the public knew about this.

Jordyn and Jenni yes, but I doubt Michelle would harm little miracle child.