Lori Alexander 25: A Wife Is a Good *Thing*

[lilwriter85]

48 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

If I didn't continually try to be a better person than I sometimes am, I'd fervently wish that Ken would leave Lori high and dry for a younger, legging & thong clad, smart, not submissive cutie with a career who'd give him more than 5 minutes and some lube, and "cook" more than big salads,  

Not that Ken deserves that, but Lori deserves to have to figure out how to live on her church's non-existent charity. Lori, just pray harder and embrace your suffering. It's good for you.  

That would be my wish -- if I wasn't always working to be a better person

Lori will never figure out that churches aren't massive charities. As I said before, she and her fangirls have never given concrete evidence of churches giving years and years of support to widows. I sometimes wish that some drastic situation would arise in Lori's world to make her see that churches can only do so much and sometimes women have to work outside the home.  Shit happens to younger people all the time and if something happened to one of Lori's sons or son-in-laws she would probably giving her daughters or DILs bullshit advice about churches providing for them and or their kids for years. But, Lori's DILS and daughters aren't as stupid as her. I wonder if the DIL who owns a business is doing it as safety net in case something happens.

[polecat]

13 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

The Christian college I attended in the eighties had a really strict dress code - we could wear jeans but NO SHORTS EVER ON CAMPUS unless we were going to or from a gym class. Skirts had to reach the knees - no tank tops. Dresses only for church services. 

It had relaxed some by the time my daughter went there. Shorts were allowed on campus and in the cafeteria but not in chapel or class. Tank tops were allowed. Slacks/jeans were allowed for church. But dresses still had to reach the knee and low cut shirts would get you sent back to the dorm. 

I guess what I'm saying is that Lori and her daughters/daughters-in-law would have constantly been in trouble for their wardrobes at this college. 

Her short dresses and plunging necklines would have been big problems. 

 

I just enrolled my kid in public high school (public!!!! as in -- not Christian). They wear uniforms. Right there, clear as day, it says that shorts must be knee length, and skirts must also be knee length. IF there are slits, they cannot be higher than the knee. Shirts MUST cover cleavage. LORI. You are violating the dress code of a PUBLIC, HEATHEN high school! So are your offspring. For SHAME. 

(lolol).

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

If I didn't continually try to be a better person than I sometimes am, I'd fervently wish that Ken would leave Lori high and dry for a younger, legging & thong clad, smart, not submissive cutie with a career who'd give him more than 5 minutes and some lube, and "cook" more than big salads,  

If I may be so bold ... can we also wish that this imaginary lady is carrying a few (or maybe even 20 or 30) extra pounds and is extremely buxom and bootylicious? And maybe has a really loud voice and boisterous personality? 

That would be rich!

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

EowynW. Mr EW is the only one whose opinion counts with you, So yeah, yeah your mom is happy you are at home -- at the moment -- but really she has no say in all this.

I have worked my entire adult life, beginning with summer jobs at 16. Since graduating college, I've never been out of work longer than 3 months (recoup from a car wreck and a few times between contracts). I am one of those evil childless career women.

And yet. I am also a homemaker. I make a home for Mr. Dress and I, and I take my role as a wife and the art of creating and running a peaceful happy home seriously.  It's just that I also have a career.  It's not an either-or proposition, or a mutually exclusive decision.  

I'll admit it's probably easier for me because no children, and Mr. Dress takes his role as a husband running a peaceful happy home seriously too. We both work on creating that "haven" because it's important to us both.  He always says that opening the front door allows him to drop all the drama of his work day because our house is (the majority of the time) a drama free zone. So we do together what we have to to make it work,  Is it always 50-50?  No.  But it always works out as fair and equitable.

EowynW  --you are a smart, determined, strong, well-spoken, resilient woman, and you have a loving supportive husband.  Half of whatever battle you face is already won. Together you two will win the other half.

[EowynW]

@older than allosaurs thank you so very much. Not having a clear vision and direct path is one of the biggest reasons why I don't feel like college is the right step right now. I don't want to go just "to go to college". I want it to count when I go. 

 

I really enjoy this forum because I get to visit with other experienced women and get advice that isn't filtered through the typical conservative Christian submissive woman lens. Y'all have been such a blessing to me. Thank you all. 

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

I suspect she has no idea what regular colleges are like. I went to a big state university, well-respected & inexpensive. There were lots of religious groups for students - BASIC, Newman House, Jewish cafeteria/ Chabad House, Muslim groups. Every flavor of Christianity. They held services in the main student center or nearby location. Chaplains had offices on campus & regular office hours.

A student would not have to look hard to find a religious group that they felt comfortable with there. The groups hosted many events & even worked together occasionally. Some students formed their whole social group within their religious group. Retreats and other events were offered to further your faith.

The university also offered many religious courses on the various faiths. You could major in religious studies. I met a student who was trying to decide if he was called to be a Catholic priest. It is not a given that people lose their faith the moment they step on a college campus.

I think Lori hates public colleges because of the government connection and she has the dumb ass belief that many students lose their faith or become non-religious by going to public college. I also went to a public college that had various religious groups, different kinds of chaplains, and religious group buildings on campus. I had friends in college who were heavily involved with different religious gorups and they also did volunteer work outside the campus and did fundraisers for students in need. They did much more for others that Lori has ever done.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

@EowynW you're welcome.  In my case I haven't got it all figured out yet, because I'm still learning about this wonderful thing called life, but I'm getting there.  And I hope any advice I give isn't too outside the main, as I am an ebil Catholic .... ergo not really Christian at all. (sarcasm here).

It's ok if you don't know what you want to do yet,  Don't pressure yourself; the answer will come when you least expect it.

Don't put any limits on yourself when considering your path forward -- anything is possible.  Don't think in terms of gender roles, consider what interests you no matter how crazy it may seem -- auto mechanic, massage therapist, plumber, landscaper, electrician, hair stylist, medical coder, sous chef, bartender, phlebotomist, teacher, paralegal., etc, etc, etc.  

The whole world is open to you., 

[usmcmom]

Regarding today's post: what about women who stay home and STILL leave their children in the care of others?  When is Lori going to be upfront  with her readers and tell them she had a nanny for no other reason but she did not like to take care of her own kids? 

@Kenthese ugly truths usually come out when "popular bloggers" try to present a lifestyle that is...well...a lie. Then the damage is ten fold. How refreshing it would be if you and Lori would just be honest about things like the nanny, her immodest clothing choices and the fact that your daughter went to college. Also, that you're other daughter works outside the home. 

Oh, and could you please tell me how a Christian college is dangerous but sending your teenage daughter on the road to "dance for Jesus" is a wholesome choice?  Do you really think those young dancers in their Christian Risqué costumes were not surrounded by temptation while they were out from under their parents' watchful eye?  

[Curious]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Right now I'm still trying to figure out what I'm good at & what I enjoy doing.

Have you checked out lynda.com?  I think it's $25/month for a regular subscription and they have online courses on tons of different things.  You can view as many as you want during the month.   I have taught myself several things using their video classes and I have found out things I might like to try or things I thought sounded interesting and found out I'm not suited  for it or it didn't really appeal to me.

Maybe that could help you learn some skills you are interested in without putting out a big outlay of money to find out you aren't really going to enjoy x, but you excel at y.

[CuttySark]

@EowynW - I can also recommend Coursera, though it's more geared toward university (college) style lecture classes than shorter projects -- https://www.coursera.org/. The courses are mostly free unless you're doing them for actual class credit, and you can sample all kinds of things. 

My better half went to art school rather than uni and has been regretting the path-not-taken recently -- so he's taken a number of classes in paleobiology, because he's a huge dinosaur nerd, as well as Roman history, Greek and Roman mythology, and ancient art and artifacts. I tend to eavesdrop on the lectures because they're excellent fun. *g*

Dino 101 is still probably my favourite of the ones he's taken. 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

I really enjoy this forum because I get to visit with other experienced women and get advice that isn't filtered through the typical conservative Christian submissive woman lens. Y'all have been such a blessing to me. Thank you all. 

I totally agree...

You will find your path. It's ok to be "lost in the wilderness" and not have all the answers, the roadmap and all that stuff. One thing...don't be afraid to "fail". I always look at it as getting one step closer to what I really want...and as someone whose racked up an amazing number of "failures" in life...

[EowynW]

Thank you all. :)!

[Emilycharlotte]

54 minutes ago, Curious said:

Have you checked out lynda.com?  I think it's $25/month for a regular subscription and they have onlg and found out I'm not suited  for it or it didn't really appeal to me.

Just wanted to add, Lynda.com might be free through your public library--you would just need a library card to access it, and then you can work from home. Our library offers Lynda along with some other really good resources that you'd otherwise have to subscribe to. 

[dairyfreelife]

45 minutes ago, CuttySark said:

@EowynW - I can also recommend Coursera, though it's more geared toward university (college) style lecture classes than shorter projects -- https://www.coursera.org/. The courses are mostly free unless you're doing them for actual class credit, and you can sample all kinds of things. 

My better half went to art school rather than uni and has been regretting the path-not-taken recently -- so he's taken a number of classes in paleobiology, because he's a huge dinosaur nerd, as well as Roman history, Greek and Roman mythology, and ancient art and artifacts. I tend to eavesdrop on the lectures because they're excellent fun. *g*

Dino 101 is still probably my favourite of the ones he's taken. 

I second this as have been doing Coursera myself. If low on finances then can also look into aid they offer if needed. You can look at the majority of them for free though can't get any credit for them, but if want the credit most cost around 39-49 a month is all and offer a free 7 day trial so if you decide after enrolling that you don't want to continue, then you can cancel at no cost. Most courses can be completed within a month. I have done four courses of five to have a specialization certificate and have been able to complete them within 2 months time so that's four classes for $80. Compare that to actual college courses and it's much cheaper. They are also courses from actual universities, some even come from Stanford and Harvard. 

My only negative complaint with Coursera is not all classes have forums and easy access to help for issues. One of my courses has a broken project link so no one can access the project requirements and there's not an easy way to get in contact with anyone and Coursera doesn't personally respond to issues sent. Also, projects are very heavy on peer review, which isn't really a problem per say, you just look at a couple others assignments and grade them. Haven't really had an issue with this to date, but you can look at your course info before the course technically starts and as such I got ahead in my courses and have had to wait until enough people submitted their assignments to finish the course a couple times. 

All that to say, agree and there's other places too to check stuff out. 

For computer basics like coding intros, reviews of science and mathematics from kindergarten to college level, and information on tests like MCAT, GMAT, GRE, and even high school tests (US only here, sorry non-US FJers) ACT and SAT reviews and help are all free on Khan Academy. 

If you are interested in learning a new language, Duolingo is great and free. You both write, read and listen to the language to learn it and can repeat it for practice. 

You can look into courses with Udacity as well, especially if you would be interested in anything with computers. They offer a Nanodegree. 

MIT has some courses free too at OCW.MIT.edu, same with Yale-OYC.Yale.edu, John Hopkins-OCW.JHSPH.edu and Oxford-maths.ox.ac.uk/courses 

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, EowynW said:

@older than allosaurs thank you so very much. Not having a clear vision and direct path is one of the biggest reasons why I don't feel like college is the right step right now. I don't want to go just "to go to college". I want it to count when I go. 

 

I really enjoy this forum because I get to visit with other experienced women and get advice that isn't filtered through the typical conservative Christian submissive woman lens. Y'all have been such a blessing to me. Thank you all. 

I really enjoy your posts, EowynW and love hearing about you and Mr. E. Your relationship sounds so strong and loving. Considering your background, that is pretty impressive! I had poor role models (extremely dysfunctional and abusive but fortunately no religious indoctrination) and I wish I'd known how to "do marriage" when I was your age.

[Loveday]

@EowynW, every time I try to say something to you, someone else keeps saying it far better than I could! Whatever you finally do decide to do, though, you know you'll have FJ behind you 100%. But far more important, it's obvious from everything you've said about him that you'll have your husband behind you 1000%! 

 

And now, some serious shade-throwing in this comment on Lori's post of this morning; I don't think she'll allow it to last very long:

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I think it is easy for people to judge wives who work, when they've never walked that person's path in the designer shoes that their hubby paid for.

Oh, snap. 

[TeddyBonkers]

@Loveday,I caught that, too! Oh snap indeed! 

I'm glad to see the pushback. It warms the cockles of my college-educated, feminist, happily-married heart. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Interesting to see so much push back against Lori's tired repetitive screed about godless. sinning working women.  I'm surprised she has let it remain on FB

Of course -- maybe she's hoping to go viral again,

[BlackSheep]

@EowynW, count me among your FJ cheerleaders.

I couldn't find the cheerleader emoticon (there used to be one... right?). So here's a cheery sun/snowflake kinda thing!

It's really natural to not know What You Want To Do With Your Life. (Eek, talk about pressure lol.) A lot of people here have shared great ideas. Think about it, research it, sleep on it, pray about it, and keep listening to your hubby... he sounds like a great guy.

When you're ready to dip your toe in to whatever you decide, remember that you can always change your mind. School or work or both... give it a try, but don't feel like you're locked into it forever. You can change your major or take a semester off. You can change jobs too. No matter what you do, you always have options.

One more thing - volunteer work might be an option. Volunteering lets you follow your heart and your interests while gaining experience and giving back to your community. It's also a way to meet different types of people and see what they do day to day.

Whatever path you choose, I wish you the best of luck! 

[usmcmom]

Holy Cow!  Now she's banning women from the chat room!  

[BlackSheep]

Whoa - a banning from the Sooper Sekrit Chat Room, the Holy of Holies.

[usmcmom]

I think we should politely invite Andrea to come join us. 

Or did Lori make them sign a non-compete agreement?? 

[BlackSheep]

Lori:

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Please, don’t ask me about women being nurses (Do you know how hard it is for women to be on their feet for twelve hour shifts?), teachers, dental assistants or having careers such as these.

Yes, I do, Lori. I work 11.5-hour shifts on my feet in a pharmacy. There are no chairs, hence no sitting. It's tiring to both men and women alike. Yes, MEN get TIRED too. We all get through it.

Do YOU, LORI, know what it's like to stand for 12 hours? If you don't, then please don't act like you do.

Lori:

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Also, many husbands like the money their wives make and don’t want them to stop so they insist on their wives keeping the job even when it becomes a strain on the wife.

Lori, here's something to think about during your extended vacation. At my workplace, only a few people took a vacation this summer. The rest of us (myself included) went to Porchville. Two incomes doesn't mean that we're living in greedy luxury. Most of us are trying to makes ends meet.

Lori:

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There are several problems I see with women having careers, even when they are single.

Lori:

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I believe one of the main causes of divorce today is due to women having careers.

Lori:

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I believe all godly women need to live their lives as if they may get married and have children some day

Lori:

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I am only teaching my convictions based upon what I have read in the Word 

Lori:

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Thankfully, I am not the judge of the world.

Thank GOD for that.

[quiversR4hunting]

5 hours ago, EowynW said:

Thank you all. :)!

Have you read http://heresyintheheartland.blogspot.com/?m=1 she also has quit fundie.

I love the lynda suggestion, I need to look into it myself!

I don't have much to add but in some community colleges they have certificate programs that only cost a few thousand dollars. It's a way to get a skill and then a job. Then if you don't like it or want to advance then find a job that pays for college credit and get a new certificate or get an associate's degree. Good luck!

[Koala]

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If Jesus didn't come to condemn the world, how DARE you attempt to do so. Shame on you. If you proclaim Christianity, you are called to demonstrate the love, mercy and grace of God to others. There is nothing loving and absolutely no mercy or grace in this blog.

She's losing readers in droves...

[EmiGirl]

@EowynW I don't k ow where you live, but Tennessee has free community college or technical college for adults without higher education.