Joy and Austin: The Wedding Is Over, On to the Honeymoon

[VBOY9977]

I think Joy just is an ugly cryer...I mean she cried a lot at Jill's wedding.

I think it happens when she's really emotional

[SilverBeach]

Just now, Georgiana said:

I've heard my male friends and acquaintances talk about losing virginity much the same as my female friends.  Satirically uber-masculine character Sterling Archer even discusses losing his virginity.  I really do not think it's only a female thing, but I think women tend to be more LIKELY to discuss their fist time openly because the first time is often...not peak performance from a guy.  

Also, most discussion of this tends to happen within all male or all female groups.  My CONVERSATIONS on the subject with guys have been much less frequent, though I know they talk about it amongst themselves.   

But get a few intoxicating units of your choice in most guys and they'll let the stories flow pretty similarly to the ladies.  

I hear you, I'm sure guys talk about the first time they had sex, hell me and Mr. SB have talked about his. But he didn't say he lost anything. Shock and awe, yes, but loss, no. 

My larger point is that virginity and so-called purity are valued more for women in the patriarchal culture. I bet Jeremy Vuolo (sp) was not a virgin when he married Jinger. And if Anna had been on Ashley Madison instead of Josh...well heaven forbid. For that level of impurity she would wear a scarlet letter and likely be shunned too. 

I wasn't saying that guys don't find their first time memorable, but I never met one who felt like they lost anything but inexperience. Male virginity just isn't as prized as female virginity is, especially among the fundies. Everyone should fully embrace their sexuality as a part of their humanity. There should be no higher value placed upon not having sex.

 

 

[Kangaroo]

I am also an ugly crier. It usually gets worse because someone will try to cheer me up and the I start laughing, but then I can't breathe. Sometimes I'll cry over the most irrational things or any sas moment on a TV show and it becomes really awkward because there's me, unable to breathe crying and laughing.

I know people mocked Jill the other day about the 'rubbing her back when she cries' line, but maybe Joy's a crier like me.

Just to add, one day (should it happen) I'll probably ugly snuffle all through my wedding, through pregnancy, through the next season of call the midwife, through the great chocolate shortage of today.

I'm going to make a decent attempt not to cry on things like a first date or someone giving me flowers for the first time. I'm up in the air about my graduation next year. I think 6 years of uni entitles me to be happy emotional, but I don't want to be that wierdo the ceremony. 

 

 

[freedomfromfrumpers]

32 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I just saw it a few minutes ago. That was full on sobbing. Yikes! I hope she's happy and she's just an ugly crier. I know I am. 

Where did you see it?  Looking for it now ... 

[Diggingupdirt]

I don't take stock in how someone looks when they are crying. I am a UGLY  crier. When I was walking "down the aisle" (we were married outside no real aisle) toward my husband I have the most ugly cry face going on. But I was crying because I was happy and overcome with emotion not because I was miserable. But if you looked at the pictures you would think that is one miserable lady  LOL

[SapphireSlytherin]

I've unsuccessfully Googled for these photos/this video. Anybody have a link?

[marmalade]

52 minutes ago, TeaGrannie said:

Any suggestions on where to find it? I cannot seem to use my google skills with any success today.

I saw it on TLC on the recommendation of another poster elsewhere. They seem to be playing it often enough. You could also try tlc.go (I think that's what they call it). 

I don't remembmer Joy crying like this at Jill's wedding. This was far more emotional, and as I said before, an ugly cry, not sure how to interpret it. Don't shoot the messenger! 

[frugalitymom]

Just realised since Jill got married she has been pregnant at every wedding.  Joe's wedding will be the first one where she isn't pregnant.

[Lurky]

That shot of Jordyn clinging to her sister-mom, Jessa, always breaks my heart.  Of course Jessa was happy it was her wedding day - the day she was finally considered an adult, and could start her own life - but Jordyn clinging to her like she never wants her to leave, and looking so desperate, is tragic.

It's only Josie who hasn't had her sister-mom abandon her yet, right?  Ironic, as Josie is the only one Michelle seems to actually "mother" in the sense most people would understand the term... and that still involves passing off the annoying parts to Jana...

[VelociRapture]

22 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I saw it on TLC on the recommendation of another poster elsewhere. They seem to be playing it often enough. You could also try tlc.go (I think that's what they call it). 

I don't remembmer Joy crying like this at Jill's wedding. This was far more emotional, and as I said before, an ugly cry, not sure how to interpret it. Don't shoot the messenger! 

It's different when it's your own wedding and you've been raised to think this is one of the only great achievements you should hope for in life.

@DiggingupdirtI didn't cry at my wedding. I did ugly cry after seeing my daughter on her first ultrasound and heard her heart beat for the first time though. And I ugly cried right after hearing my daughter scream for the first time after her birth too. My poor husband. 

[Lurky]

Just now, frugalitymom said:

Just realised since Jill got married she has been pregnant at every wedding.  Joe's wedding will be the first one where she isn't pregnant.

ETA Fuck, that's scary.  Although I am impressed you think she'd hold off a few months, if she had any choice in the matter...

[trustworthy]

1 hour ago, TeaGrannie said:

Any suggestions on where to find it? I cannot seem to use my google skills with any success today.

I can't find it either.  I never can find them. They're never on the TLC site for some reason.  It's not on tlc.go or on people.  The only time I can find those promos is when the Duggars post them on their blog, and it's not there yet.

[frugalitymom]

14 minutes ago, Lurky said:

ETA Fuck, that's scary.  Although I am impressed you think she'd hold off a few months, if she had any choice in the matter...

Well isn't it 40 days they wait after a boy?  Depending on when she has the baby and Joe gets married she could be pregnant again and we not know it.

[trustworthy]

3 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

 So I don't think it's "religion" that is to blame for this awful Duggar situation , or even having more traditional/family-oriented values, because there are tons of people who are religious and have traditional values that have happy, loving marriages with none of this insanity. 

Exactly.  Perfectly phrased.  And in the same way, it doesn't have to be religion that makes you want to wait for sex.  Ever since I can remember as a child, I had the conviction I wanted to wait and only have sex with one special person.  I read a ton of classic literature as a child and teen, and I just loved the romantic, special wedding night thing.  Always wanted it.  My parents didn't tell me this, my friends didn't tell me this, it was just something I wanted.  Freedom can be expressed in lots of ways, and some of us need the freedom not to have sex regardless of what others think. I've always been surrounded by friends who respected that and I'm grateful.

[HarryPotterFan]

@trustworthy Disney movies convinced me of the same. Well, that and deep psychological issues brought about by health class...

[nastyhobbitses]

4 hours ago, trustworthy said:

The problem with fundies is they keep kids in a bubble and say "It's evil out there" so the kids never learn how to be strong and make their own decisions from a deep inner place of experience and conviction.  Think Josh and Ashley Mad:  Given some freedom he went berserk because suddenly he wasn't being policed as mercilessly and all that pent-up weird repression exploded.

That's what bothers me so much: for all their touting of "accountability" and all that jazz, they don't really teach their kids to hold themselves accountable or that character is who you are and what you do when you're in the dark and no one's watching you. They don't let kids build and live their own convictions and values, and as a result, you have a bunch of stunted adults who can't function in the real world without Daddy's guidance/checkbook, or without doing incredibly stupid, shitty things because they never learned self-control.

[mlsgregg]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Snip:

Male virginity just isn't as prized as female virginity is, especially among the fundies. 

 

 

This is 100% true. I went to a private Christian school (so many stories) and every year the teachers had "the talk" with us. Girls in one room, boys in the other. The boys talk was a quarter, maybe a third of the length ours was. It's dumb.

[fundiefan]

There are millions of wedding dresses available and they still can't find one 'modest' enough?

What the hell is the point of getting that strapless dress just to change it? 

The Duggars aren't the only fundies to do such stupid buying and whenever I see it my eyes go 'booooiiiinnnngggg' in my head. 

Because there aren't any other options at all in any store anywhere. 

Stupid is as stupid does.

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, freedomfromfrumpers said:

Where did you see it?  Looking for it now ... 

I saw it on TLC. I don't know about elsewhere. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

I think Joy just is an ugly cryer...I mean she cried a lot at Jill's wedding.

I think it happens when she's really emotional

I'm an ugly crier too. Every! Damn! Time! I ugly cried when I got married I had kids & ugly cried and now I ugly cry and sappy commercials.  My family makes fun of me, DH & DD fist bump and proclaim themselves team soulless. I cal them assholes or fuckers depending on my mood DH laughs DS tackles him and says don't make fun of my mamma, they wrestle and we move on until the next time.   

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 minute ago, Carm_88 said:

I saw it on TLC. I don't know about elsewhere. 

So you mean:  on the television, on the TLC station? 

I so rarely have the TV on, even, that it's unlikely I will see it until it's posted online somewhere. I am a "purposeful" television viewer:  it's only on when I'm watching something specific.

[Carm_88]

Just now, SapphireSlytherin said:

So you mean:  on the television, on the TLC station? 

I so rarely have the TV on, even, that it's unlikely I will see it until it's posted online somewhere. I am a "purposeful" television viewer:  it's only on when I'm watching something specific.

Hahah television. They're playing it nonstop. 

[Coconut Flan]

If you record 30 minutes of a TLC show you'll probably catch it.  It didn't look nearly as bad to me as what I thought it would be from reading about it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Just saw it, that wasn't ugly crying she had some tears and her face didn't seem red to me.  Austin looked a little teary eyed as well which I think is sweet. 

[OldFadedStar]

1 hour ago, frugalitymom said:

Just realised since Jill got married she has been pregnant at every wedding.  Joe's wedding will be the first one where she isn't pregnant.

 

 

Dependent upon how fast they get married and if Jill runs late, it is possible she will be pregnant still at Joe's wedding. 

Unlikely, but possible.