Joy and Austin: The Wedding Is Over, On to the Honeymoon

[Greendoor]

19 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

WHERE are you from??

I am from a long line of ancestors who believe that children are people first; that they are worthy of the same respect you accord an adult. If you are raised in this way, you are included in discussions and decision making for as long as you can remember.  You have a feel for social justice and politics before your teens.  Education and reading a broad range of books is usual in our family.

At 13, you make your decision with advice (what courses at school, do they support what you think you want to major in at University).  At 16, you make your decision, notifying as needed (a part-time job with XYZ, these shifts, ride at night?).   At 19, you make your decision (Courses, job, car, spending etc.).   At any age you can give your input, or ask for it. 

Errors in judgement do occur, people don't always ask for input or want to share their ideas.  That is part of life and growing.  When we get together there is lots of talk, laughter and food.  Life is a journey.

In terms of geography, I am from the west coast of Canada. 

[Berty K]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

at least with Joy and Austin they've apparently known each other since Joy was 4/5.

I keep reading people writing this on here and I think it's flat out wrong. 

Joy says "He started coming over about 5 years ago and that's when I personally first remember meeting him" in Counting On Season 2 Ep 20. 

All this knowing each other for 15+ years is bologna. 

[Lurker]

This is the family that presents Josh as a wayward child while duggaring his much younger sisters at 15 or more, but insists that the girls are adults ready for marriage at 18 or 19.

I look at Joy and cringe, too young and immature to marry.

[VelociRapture]

13 minutes ago, Berty K said:

I keep reading people writing this on here and I think it's flat out wrong. 

Joy says "He started coming over about 5 years ago and that's when I personally first remember meeting him" in Counting On Season 2 Ep 20. 

All this knowing each other for 15+ years is bologna. 

Well then they lied in that episode or they lied in the courtship video. They stated in the courtship video that they've known each other for about 15 years.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/joy-anna-duggars-bf-austin-forsyth-5-things-to-know-w450779

ETA: This article about their wedding also cites 15 years of friendship. 

https://www.google.com/amp/people.com/tv/joy-anna-duggar-austin-forsyth-married/amp/

[Berty K]

1 minute ago, VelociRapture said:

Well then they lied in that episode or they lied in the courtship video. They stated in the courtship video that they've known each other for about 15 years.

Good point! In this article Austin says it. In the video it was Joy - what I wrote is a direct quote. I even went back and checked - it's at 42:30 for anyone that cares enough to watch. 

It just irritates me that things with this family always seem twisted. What is the TRUTH??

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

13 minutes ago, Berty K said:

Good point! In this article Austin says it. In the video it was Joy - what I wrote is a direct quote. I even went back and checked - it's at 42:30 for anyone that cares enough to watch. 

It just irritates me that things with this family always seem twisted. What is the TRUTH??

Both, 5 years ago Joy was 14 and probably did finally start to see him as more than just a face in the crowd.  They know literally 1000 people, I imagine it is easy to lose track of ones they weren't close to. While the families have known each other since the Forsyth's moved to the area to 15 years ago, But no, Joy and Austin haven't been friends for 15 years. 

[Markie]

Have there been any sightings of Joy and Austin in their honeymoon? Wonder where they went?

[veron1que]

24 minutes ago, Berty K said:

Good point! In this article Austin says it. In the video it was Joy - what I wrote is a direct quote. I even went back and checked - it's at 42:30 for anyone that cares enough to watch. 

It just irritates me that things with this family always seem twisted. What is the TRUTH??

The truth is likely that the Duggars and the Forsythes have been in contact for 15 years, but that Joy didn't take notice of Austin as an individual that until about 5 years ago. So they aren't childhood sweethearts, but they've run in the same circles for nearly their whole life.

I'd compare it to high school sweethearts who often crossed passed earlier in life. I would say that my ex and I met in 12th grade, but technically we were in class together in 6th. He remembers this, I dont.

And it's annoying the Duggars stretch the truth. Joy's known her husband for a lot longer than her sister knew theirs, and that's a good thing. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

i always thought the 5-years/15-years thing was very clear - their families have been friends for 15ish years, when the Forsyths first moved to Arkansas, and Joy and Austin would've met then and seen each other on and off over the years. when Austin got his license he drove over to TTH often to hang out with the kids - her first individual memories of meeting him - and he and Joy became friends. Austin would sensibly talk about the 15-years-ago meetings more than Joy, since he'd have been older at the time and maybe have clearer memories of how long they've known each other.

Joy said she'd had interest in him for awhile, Jill also said something of the like in a TH segment. Austin said he'd been "waiting for this moment" when he asked her to court, and I think when he talked to JB about it he also mentioned it having been awhile since he was interested? so hopefully their relationship will prove more substantial than the Dullards, and they won't get tired of each other a year after the wedding...

[mango_fandango]

Even if she was 14 they've still known each other longer than the other couples.

[eleanora3]

I wonder if, when/if Jana gets married, she'll choose Joy as MOH so that everyone gets a turn to do it?

[Scribber]

I always figured the families have known one another for 15 years - her first true acknowledgement of him was 5 years ago.  Mr Scribber and I went to the same preschool and daycare 35+ years ago. So we "knew" one another then.  But it wasn't until 8th grade that I got to know him. (Beyond being the guy with the dorky haircut.)  So yes, technically I have known him since I was 2. But I only really cared about knowing him - and thus actually go to know him - since I was 14.

[meep]

OMFG you guys. I'm gone for a little while and Joy is already married. GAH! >.<

[season of life]

Apologies if this has been posted already. I found a new photo from the wedding on IG. It's probably another bridesmaid and bride photo. You can sort of see the back of the dresses.

 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

21 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

He was such a nice guy at first, and we have no idea what caused him to jump of the deep end into asshole land.  Is it Jill's constant whining while in Danger America that sent him over the edge ,or is it his grifting isn't going as well as he hopped, is he NOT enjoying fatherhood like he had hopped? Or did something go wrong somewhere else?  He went from a seemingly normal clean cut conservative white guy accountant to dirty conservative Jesus hippy with what appears to be a temper.  

And here lies a major problem with the courtship model: when are these couples supposed to have a fight and resolve it? For me, how someone handles conflict is a major thing to consider when deciding if someone is a suitable long term partner. I expect to fight with my partner from time to time. Even the healthiest relationships will have fights/disagreements. So i'm interested in seeing how a boyfriend handles it. Does he get aggressive when confronted about something? Does he get emotionally manipulative and try and flip everything onto me? Does he listen? Is he willing to be reasonable? Does he act like a real jerk when I'm wrong? Jill and Dewreck never got to actually have an argument before getting married and learn to resolve it like grown ups. And now I suspect one or both of them is learning that the other is unreasonable when not getting their own way, or can be really horrible when someone is having an argument over something. 

I also suspect they don't know how to compromise, but that can also be attributed to Jilly being taught to always submit to the male authority in her life, even when said male authority is completely fucking moronic and delusional (like Dewreck thinking El Salvador is the best place for an infant child and pregnant woman). 

At least when Mr LBE and i get married, we will be doing so with actual adult conflict resolution skills and I'm not marrying someone who thinks he is my 'authority'. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Who is the bridesmaid with eh different sleeves? is that Carlin? 

[justmy2cents]

28 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Who is the bridesmaid with eh different sleeves? is that Carlin? 

That's Jana.  Jill's dress looks the same color as all the rest in the official pictures but darker otherwise.  

[habert]

On 5/31/2017 at 6:47 PM, eye_browz said:

I'm not sure what she meant by that. I figured that she was referring to when Joy is on her period?? I wonder if it was a comment that only her family would understand?

I don't know. Maybe Jill is the one who is crying and her husband doesn't know what's wrong.

Yes that was what I was implying. Jill clearly thinks it's good marriage advice for newlyweds, so I can only imagine what it must be like to be married to Derick. She must cry often and he must not care. 

[eleanora3]

Where are these photos coming from?

[nst]

Just now, eleanora3 said:

Where are these photos coming from?

it was in people magazine

[OyToTheVey]

8 hours ago, season of life said:

Apologies if this has been posted already. I found a new photo from the wedding on IG. It's probably another bridesmaid and bride photo. You can sort of see the back of the dresses.

I just don't understand the photographer. I'm completely amateur even I know that it's a horrible picture. The brides arms are supposed to go over the bridesmaids. The photographer should have displayed the brides sleeves over the bridesmaids. And no one bothered to fix her veil. I have the same problem with the sister picture. Joy should have been a few inches in front and the bridesmaids were too squished. The photo should have been taken from further away and spread out. 

[PainfullyAware]

6 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

For me, how someone handles conflict is a major thing to consider when deciding if someone is a suitable long term partner. I expect to fight with my partner from time to time. Even the healthiest relationships will have

This makes me so sad. In the normal world, conflict is an important part of getting to know someone as a romantic partner. 

But the craziest thing about IBLP is that wives cannot argue with their husbands. If they disagree, all they can do is make a formal "appeal" to their headship. There's a whole recommended process for making an appeal (I read a gag inducing worksheet). Basically, in a calm and loving way you would respectfully make your point about why you think a given decision/action should be changed (on biblical principles preferably). But once your headship takes your appeal under advisement, that's it, you have to live with his final decision or behavior. You're also not supposed to disrespect or undermine him by telling anyone and trying to get them to change his mind ... especially older men IIRC. So no running to Jim Bob. Now how this works in reality... I'm not sure. Maybe they use Jared Kushner-like backchannels... Joy tells her Mom who tells Jim Bob. But it's so terrible for women who don't have decision making authority over their own lives and are isolated from seeking help. Imagine being raised as a girl to believe you are incapable of making serious decisions...no wonder they all act so silly and hapless. It's actually one reason I respect Jessa (although I may not like her), because, comparatively speaking, she had retained a certain self-confident independence. And Ben, whether by age or personality or choice, doesn't seem to insist on absolute authority. He seems to keep it to "leading her" in all things spiritual and that's it, not day to day life.

[Four is Enough]

There is no compromise. It's his way or the highway. I rather assume, in some circumstances, that the man will take his wife's opinion into account, if he is kind and loving. But if he's a stickler for obedience, he might insist on his way no matter if he doesn't really care.

I can't imagine being married to a man who wouldn't even consider that I do love green, and simply buy the blue car because it's his favorite color...  (That actually happened at my house. BUT he bought the vehicle *I* wanted, researched, and preferred. He got the color. That, my dears, is a cooperative marriage, not those travesties the Duggars have.)

[eleanora3]

Shouldn't the rest of the wedding pics be available online by now?

[NotQuiteMotY]

18 hours ago, Chickenbutt said:

I have seen mentioned that Jill loved a man she never met, but then again Derrick loved a girl he never met.

How did anyone think this was a good idea?

When I saw the episode where Jill asked to fly to Nepal to meet Derrick and JB and Michelle thought that was do-able, I couldn't help but to think what I would have said had one of my kids asked me the same thing.....hell no!...comes to mind.

 

Yeah, I can see doing it IF they'd already been in contact for a while AND if he wasn't going to be home soon anyway. Otherwise? Nope!

Honestly, part of this thread makes me feel like the outlier. I lost my virginity at 27 on my wedding night! But the difference is that that was a choice my husband and I made independently; both raised religiously (not fundies), but given the freedom to make our own choices, the knowledge of how to prevent pregnancy if we chose to, and the space to have sex if we decided to as well as to discuss it beforehand. Plus, we'd known each other for literally over a decade at that point, though not romantically involved the whole time. We had the ability to assess each other over time and know we were compatible and had similar worldviews, which is definitely not something these kidults have!