Jill and Jessa Counting on--part 3

[MayMay1123]

11 hours ago, Kira said:

Wonkette recaps  "Counting On": http://wonkette.com/tag/jill-and-jessa-counting-on 

squashy baaaaaabies! this was hilarious, again!

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, quiverofdoubt said:

My husband can be very squeamish about body functions, and generally won't talk about them.  We agreed before my first birth he could stay up near my head, holding my hand, encouraging me and what not, and the midwives would take care of the baby side of things. However, once they announced crowning he was down there.  They asked if i wanted to touch her head, and i was much too much to much concentrated on pushing and didn't want to.  My husband asked if he could. Even through the fog and haze and pain and lack of sleep I remember how much he lit up, how elated he was (that's really the only word for it) to see our baby.  He kept saying "she's got hair!" and "you're almost there" "I can see her face!"  He was the first to hold her, and obviously enamored with her.  If anything the experience of being with me throughout the birth process gave him MORE respect for my body and what it can do.  Fortunately he was too busy caring for our newborn to pay attention to the aftermath stuff, or at least he never let on that it bothered him.  He was fascinated by the cord and wanted to examine it further.

Maybe my husband is just the exception though.

 

PS: I've pretty much done all the diapers, because he really can't handle that kind of thing. He would be turned off food for the rest of the day if he had to deal with a bad diaper.

Your husband sounds so stinking cute! 

My FIL wasn't present for his eldest son's birth - emergency C-Section about 1.5 months before he was due. He was present when my hubby was born via C-Section though. They told him to stay above the curtain because they didn't want him passing out... He didn't listen and didn't pass out. He actually asked a ton of questions - "What's that?" "Does that go back in?" "How'd you get that out?!" My MIL was cracking up the whole time because it was hysterical how curious he was.

[violynn]

15 minutes ago, quiverofdoubt said:

My husband can be very squeamish about body functions, and generally won't talk about them.  We agreed before my first birth he could stay up near my head, holding my hand, encouraging me and what not, and the midwives would take care of the baby side of things. However, once they announced crowning he was down there.  They asked if i wanted to touch her head, and i was much too much to much concentrated on pushing and didn't want to.  My husband asked if he could. Even through the fog and haze and pain and lack of sleep I remember how much he lit up, how elated he was (that's really the only word for it) to see our baby.  He kept saying "she's got hair!" and "you're almost there" "I can see her face!"  He was the first to hold her, and obviously enamored with her.  If anything the experience of being with me throughout the birth process gave him MORE respect for my body and what it can do.  Fortunately he was too busy caring for our newborn to pay attention to the aftermath stuff, or at least he never let on that it bothered him.  He was fascinated by the cord and wanted to examine it further.

Maybe my husband is just the exception though.

 

PS: I've pretty much done all the diapers, because he really can't handle that kind of thing. He would be turned off food for the rest of the day if he had to deal with a bad diaper.

That is the sweetest story I've heard in ages!

[quiverofdoubt]

2 minutes ago, violynn said:

That is the sweetest story I've heard in ages!

At the time it felt more irritating tbh.  I was in the most intense state of my life, trying to push out a baby with a huge head and wide shoulders, and everyone kept saying "she's got hair!!" It was supposed to encourage me somehow.  But in the moment all I wanted to hear was "she's out and fine"  Nothing else. If i had breath to talk at that point, or the thought process to do it, I would have said "shut up about the hair and help me get her out".  But looking back it's a very sweet memory :).  

I remember the midwife/lactation consultant sitting with my husband and baby while I was being taken care of and waiting for afterbirth and all that, and she was showing him how to hold her, hold the oxygen tube and having her suck on his *clean* finger to help her with her nursing (he needed to help move her tongue and jaw around I think to help with her latch).  He couldn't stop looking at her.

I'm pretty sure he thought I was superwoman after watching me go through the 25 hour process of birth.

[nst]

4 minutes ago, quiverofdoubt said:

At the time it felt more irritating tbh.  I was in the most intense state of my life, trying to push out a baby with a huge head and wide shoulders, and everyone kept saying "she's got hair!!" It was supposed to encourage me somehow.  But in the moment all I wanted to hear was "she's out and fine"  Nothing else. If i had breath to talk at that point, or the thought process to do it, I would have said "shut up about the hair and help me get her out".  But looking back it's a very sweet memory :).  

I remember the midwife/lactation consultant sitting with my husband and baby while I was being taken care of and waiting for afterbirth and all that, and she was showing him how to hold her, hold the oxygen tube and having her suck on his *clean* finger to help her with her nursing (he needed to help move her tongue and jaw around I think to help with her latch).  He couldn't stop looking at her.

I'm pretty sure he thought I was superwoman after watching me go through the 25 hour process of birth.

you are

 

[violynn]

25 minutes ago, quiverofdoubt said:

At the time it felt more irritating tbh.  I was in the most intense state of my life, trying to push out a baby with a huge head and wide shoulders, and everyone kept saying "she's got hair!!" It was supposed to encourage me somehow.  But in the moment all I wanted to hear was "she's out and fine"  Nothing else. If i had breath to talk at that point, or the thought process to do it, I would have said "shut up about the hair and help me get her out".  But looking back it's a very sweet memory :).  

I remember the midwife/lactation consultant sitting with my husband and baby while I was being taken care of and waiting for afterbirth and all that, and she was showing him how to hold her, hold the oxygen tube and having her suck on his *clean* finger to help her with her nursing (he needed to help move her tongue and jaw around I think to help with her latch).  He couldn't stop looking at her.

I'm pretty sure he thought I was superwoman after watching me go through the 25 hour process of birth.

In the puhing phase, all any mom wants to hear is that the baby is out.   All of us are superwoman on that day, no matter how baby arrives.

[Denim Jumper]

Personally, I think the real reason behind the 6-8 week waiting period for postpartum sex is to give the father enough time to mentally heal from the trauma of witnessing human being come out of his personal love tunnel.

[nausicaa]

7 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

Then we moved out to the country and it was just my brother and I. Sure we played our fair share of video games and watched TV, but the best time of the year was when my mom would get a truckload of mulch from the garden center and we would ramp our bikes off it 

 

Yeah, I really have no idea why the Duggar kids don't play outside more. I'm not an only child but my brother and sister are a lot older than me so I often played by myself. But I have memories of spending entire summer days pretending to be Laura Ingalls Wilder and "gathering" crops to bring back to my tree house turned log cabin, riding my bike when I got home from school, and kicking a dodgeball around when I was really little. If my cousins came over for something we practically lived out there playing games. 

And I grew up in Virginia, so it gets humid.

[Four is Enough]

Maryland gets humid, too, but we were outside, roller skating, walking around, jumping rope, looking for pop bottles to take to the store to redeem for popsicles or candy... but back then, houses only had ONE television. (Mom watched soaps during the afternoons.)  Besides that, my dad worked nights, slept days, and we were NOT allowed to do anything to awaken him.. so we were outside nearly all the time. 

My kids were outside a lot, too, because we put a pool out there, a sandbox, a gym set, a trampoline... (at various times) We also had a garden and a sprinkler.. running through the sprinkler was a LOT of fun for them! 

Kids need outside!

[nst]

1 minute ago, Four is Enough said:

Maryland gets humid, too, but we were outside, roller skating, walking around, jumping rope, looking for pop bottles to take to the store to redeem for popsicles or candy... but back then, houses only had ONE television. (Mom watched soaps during the afternoons.)  Besides that, my dad worked nights, slept days, and we were NOT allowed to do anything to awaken him.. so we were outside nearly all the time. 

My kids were outside a lot, too, because we put a pool out there, a sandbox, a gym set, a trampoline... (at various times) We also had a garden and a sprinkler.. running through the sprinkler was a LOT of fun for them! 

Kids need outside!

I was a barbie girl - had my barbies on the porch outside, had a playhouse my dad made me - was always outside 

and lived in an area that had trees and such - and had an amazing childhood 

[Hera]

Grew up in Alabama and we were always outside, too.  Playing games, riding bikes, running through the woods looking at "haunted" places, catching (and releasing) fireflies, and nighttime hide and seek (this was the BEST!!).  With the number of kids they have, the Duggar kids could have endless fun.  Of course, someone would have to teach them how to play games like baseball/softball, kickball, soccer, tag, hide-n-seek, red light-green light, red rover, etc.  That would require spending time with them.  The J'Slaves probably didn't have much time to do that, what with running Michelle's house and all, and I doubt Michelle and JB bothered. And, they can't just let them play unsupervised because defrauding!!!  (and, to be fair, once the show started, there was probably a legit worry about weirdos coming up to them if they were too far from the house).  It was probably easier to just keep them all inside.  

[LittleSpouseOnThePrairie]

My personal conclusion is that Ben is screwed 

•  It has occurred to me that JimBoob's evil plan for Bin worked. Before moving to the Duggar compound, he was doing legitimate work. @Carol is right. By accepting his future FIL's invitation to move over there and work for him, Ben gave Boob the opportunity to control his livelihood, and keep Benessa firmly in his grasp.  Boob can decide exactly how much work/money Ben will receive and threaten Ben's work opportunities if he ever disagrees with him, then give him shit for not supporting his little family enough just to manipulate Bin even more into being his bitch.
• As several have said, Ben was probably the golden child in a house of idiots, where his "wise" musings were over-praised and encouraged. The boy has an inflated sense of himself and thinks sharing his brilliant thoughts as a preacher (or edgy rapper?) would be his gift to the world. Problem is, he can't hear how stupid he sounds to everyone else. Oh, and his beliefs are effed up.
•  I think that having more children is inevitable, and with each kid they will become more and more dependent on others. Their household costs will increase, keeping Ben busier and more desperate to make a quick buck the JimBoob way. Jessa will just summon more Duggars for a helping hand in child care until her minions have grown enough to become buddies. No matter what education Ben acquires or job he goes into, the prospect of living on his own terms will just drift further away. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

^ And I think he is slowly realising that and wonder why the hell he went after this marriage in the first place.

I have the theory that Kim Jong-Boob's reasons for signing off on this marriage were because he knew the unemployed teenage rapper Bin wouldn't be provide for Jessa on his own terms (and babies would stop him getting to a place where he can) and it would be an easy way to keep one of his 'flight risks' under his thumb.

I think Jessa thought she was very clever at getting out of the TTH and Boob let her THINK she won while she was really just getting played by her Dad. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

Yeah, I really have no idea why the Duggar kids don't play outside more. I'm not an only child but my brother and sister are a lot older than me so I often played by myself. But I have memories of spending entire summer days pretending to be Laura Ingalls Wilder and "gathering" crops to bring back to my tree house turned log cabin, riding my bike when I got home from school, and kicking a dodgeball around when I was really little. If my cousins came over for something we practically lived out there playing games. 

And I grew up in Virginia, so it gets humid.

Ditto on being the youngest of much older siblings and even the Laura make believe.  One of my favorite parts of childhood was setting up a lawn chaise next to the lilac bush with something to drink and a good book and reading for hours outside.

I was shooed outside when it was nice out, I can't be the only one who grew up hearing "it's so nice outside, don't stay cooped up in the house."  Looking back mom probably wanted some peace and quiet, but I wasn't savvy enough to pick up on that so I'd just go out and play.  

Lots of friends on the block - pools, sprinklers, swing sets...but for the Duggars?  Maybe it's an outgrowth of little ones being raised by teenage elder sisters who needed to keep them confined in order to supervise properly and it just became a habit.

I babysat as a young teenager and I was hypervigilent about injury so kept a closer eye on them than my parents did on me, not on my watch kinda thing, and not having the instincts to know when to lighten up.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

30 minutes ago, LittleSpouseOnThePrairie said:

My personal conclusion is that Ben is screwed 

•  It has occurred to me that JimBoob's evil plan for Bin worked. Before moving to the Duggar compound, he was doing legitimate work. @Carol is right. By accepting his future FIL's invitation to move over there and work for him, Ben gave Boob the opportunity to control his livelihood, and keep Benessa firmly in his grasp.  Boob can decide exactly how much work/money Ben will receive and threaten Ben's work opportunities if he ever disagrees with him, then give him shit for not supporting his little family enough just to manipulate Bin even more into being his bitch.
• As several have said, Ben was probably the golden child in a house of idiots, where his "wise" musings were over-praised and encouraged. The boy has an inflated sense of himself and thinks sharing his brilliant thoughts as a preacher (or edgy rapper?) would be his gift to the world. Problem is, he can't hear how stupid he sounds to everyone else. Oh, and his beliefs are effed up.
•  I think that having more children is inevitable, and with each kid they will become more and more dependent on others. Their household costs will increase, keeping Ben busier and more desperate to make a quick buck the JimBoob way. Jessa will just summon more Duggars for a helping hand in child care until her minions have grown enough to become buddies. No matter what education Ben acquires or job he goes into, the prospect of living on his own terms will just drift further away. 

I can see why a smitten and far too young to be thinking of marriage Ben didn't see this for what it is...but what about his parents?  Surely they could smell exactly what JB was up to?

I have a very responsible son just about Ben's age and there is no way in any universe is he mature enough for marriage.  And ditto every one of his buddies, who I like and are good kids but they're kids.  

If this were my son there would have been a meeting of the parents where I'd have required an explanation of why they weren't concerned about the kids not having the means/job(s) to live autonomously and how being provided an income by a set of parents was any different than playing house?  

And why they thought two people who had never been alone knew each other well enough to entering into a lifetime commitment?

And why they were opposed to family planning when there were people within their own circle that can look at to see the hardships of poverty.  And why they expected my son to be able to support eleventy million kids when they were greenlighting a wedding before he could support himself?

And what do you mean you don't think we have a good marriage just because I've never been dry humped on a mini-golf course by my headship?

I'm sorry...you expect our family to schlep down to Arkansas for a wedding where they're going to be served black cows in a parking lot?  

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO OPEN BAR AT THE RECEPTION?!

Yeah - I'm glad none of mine have a hankering to marry a Duggar...that would get ugly.  

 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If this were my son there would have been a meeting of the parents where I'd have required an explanation of why they weren't concerned about the kids not having the means/job(s) to live autonomously and how being provided an income by a set of parents was any different than playing house?  

Simple answer: because you, like many on FJ and unlike the Smuggars, are an intelligent, rational human being! 

[2manyKidzzz]

It is all because Jeebus. With BC and the opportunities available to young people who can go to community college and after achieving a two year degree in say, business, can work and support themselves and work towards any further educational achievements should they want them. But with the Duggies, because Jeebus, that is all off the table, thrown to the side of the ride onto the car flipping lot. Which is of dubious legal status,, perhaps. 

Because Jeebus. 

[doubleT]

I think a small tree house or even a play house would be fun for the younger kids still at home.  I don't know why they have to make it so big and complex.  And when it rains and floods that area under the trees, I hope those pilings that they just buried in dirt don't come floating out. 

If I remember correctly, there is a very nice utility court outside already.  Basketball, scooter and bike riding etc.  No reason for those kids not to play outside. 

[Screamapillar]

Did anyone else play Red Dawn in the backyard as kids as was that just weird me and my weird brother? He also got to be the Wolverines and made me be the Communists.

[SassyPants]

19 minutes ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

It is all because Jeebus. With BC and the opportunities available to young people who can go to community college and after achieving a two year degree in say, business, can work and support themselves and work towards any further educational achievements should they want them. But with the Duggies, because Jeebus, that is all off the table, thrown to the side of the ride onto the car flipping lot. Which is of dubious legal status,, perhaps. 

Because Jeebus. 

Nah- that's the fake reason.

It's because of JB.

These kids are part of the JB cult.

[Cleopatra7]

I think another reason the J'kids don't play outside is because of the possibility of a J'boy and a J'girl going off alone together and repeating Joshgate 1.0. I recall one of the "safeguards" was making sure opposite sex siblings weren't unsupervised, but given how they also claimed that little girls weren't supposed to sit on "big boys' laps," despite copious evidence to the contrary (including Josie sitting on Josh's lap), I question whether any "safeguards" were ever in place to begin with. But I also agree that it's much easy for the sister-moms to just keep all the kids confined inside so you know where they are and what they're doing. I don't think being in the South has anything to do with it.

[MoonFace]

Sorry, but I'm still hung up on this adoption dream (or nightmare, depending on which side of the process you are on: adopting or being adopted by a Duggar)

Elements of a Home Study for Adoption in Arkansas

Citation: Rules & Regs. 016 15 CARR 005, § 300

The adoptive home study shall contain the information required by regulation, including the following:

·      The mental health, emotional stability, and maturity of the applicants

·      The physical health of all household members

·      The financial status and stability of the family, including verification of income and employment

·      At least three confidential personal references

·      The family’s ability to cope with stress, loss, and crisis

·      Adjustment and well-being of any minors residing in the home

·      The family’s child-caring skills and willingness to acquire additional skills

·      The family’s discipline practices and religious affiliation

·      An assessment of the safety of the home, including all water hazards, dangerous pets, and firearm safety

·      A statement regarding the availability and results from criminal records and child maltreatment central registry checks, dated to within 1 year prior to placement

·      The stability of the adoptive family and their marriage, if applicable

I bolded where I think there are potential issues.    

[Mothership]

2 hours ago, nst said:

I was a barbie girl - had my barbies on the porch outside, had a playhouse my dad made me - was always outside 

and lived in an area that had trees and such - and had an amazing childhood 

Doubt the Duggars are allowed anywhere near a Barbie doll.   They'd be screaming "Nike" the whole time they were playing.  Actually, I don't recall seeing them with baby dolls--of course they always had the real thing around.

1 hour ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Kim Jong-Boob's

My new favorite nickname for JB!

[anotherone]

Ok i cracked and started watching the show on cable on demand. I tell you, i'm only into the first 5 min but it was well worth it to see Ben's look in slow motion when she says that its not babysitting. I would say he's furious and barely holding it in. Priceless.

And Anna's eyes, with that new makeup they look extra big like one of those cat greeting cards where they enlarge the eyes to a goofy size

[EmmieJ]

1 hour ago, LittleSpouseOnThePrairie said:

My personal conclusion is that Ben is screwed 

•  It has occurred to me that JimBoob's evil plan for Bin worked. Before moving to the Duggar compound, he was doing legitimate work. @Carol is right. By accepting his future FIL's invitation to move over there and work for him, Ben gave Boob the opportunity to control his livelihood, and keep Benessa firmly in his grasp.  Boob can decide exactly how much work/money Ben will receive and threaten Ben's work opportunities if he ever disagrees with him, then give him shit for not supporting his little family enough just to manipulate Bin even more into being his bitch.
• .

I wonder if Ben's parents tried to advise him against giving up his job and moving onto the Duggar property.  If my son were in a similar situation, I know that I would strongly discourage doing any such thing.  Obviously, once your child is 18 or older, all you can do is offer advice and then let them make their own way.  But did his parents totally fail to grasp the situation?  did they try to advise him not to make such a drastic change?  or did they think this was actually a good idea and encourage him? 

I think another poster said something like, "be careful what you wish for; it may come true" in reference to Ben's situation, and that's how I feel too.  I think he got exactly what he thought he wanted, only it may not be at all what he imagined. 

And I have mocked Derrick mercilessly on quitting his WalMart job and moving his family to "Central America", but maybe the guy was desperate to get himself and his wife and kid away from the smothering influence of JB Duggar et al.  If Derrick's got any smarts at all, he will make every effort to find a reason why he, Jill and their offspring won't be moving anywhere closer than 200 miles from his in-laws.