Law and Order: Duggars

[Bad Wolf]

its on

 

It's only 6 o'clock here. Patience, patience.

[zadie]

PART 1- BUM BUM

*lies about it not depicting any actual person or event*

*s

 

Starts off with a super creepy purity ball, and I think it's the pregnant girl. Talking about how she will promise her dad and her creator to abstain from any sexual activity.  They made the mother look way too put together and energized for a fundie mommy.

The pregnant girl is talking about how she's going to NYC for her purity celebration.  Jinger much? I wonder how many episodes they watched to write this.

This has a very "home video" vibe. I like it.

They even have the bunk beds!

The girl asks if her daddy will "approve" of her hairstyle. Gag.

 

The...sister? Mother? Gives the girl a tiara. I still don't know her name sorry.

"It's important for a girl to feel love and acceptance. If she's not getting that from her father she seeks it from another man."

There's an older sister named Summer.

The oldest sister talks about how she's only ever kissed her husband, and they have a cheesy, very duggar esque kiss.

"The little ones are very spirited" soo howlers? Lost girls running everywhere? lol

The dad and daughter are dancing and he starts to spin her.  She asks him to stop and he thinks she's joking. But then she keeps asking and it's clear she's getting dizzy but he doesn't stop and then she faints.

Now the detectives are in the hopsital, they know the family. Olivia learns what a virtue ball is, and then Ice T tells her the girl is 3 months pregnant. 

 

The family is having a prayer circle at the hopsital.

 

 

*ignature funky bass line plays*

 

[Soulhuntress]

Here we go!

[bucket]

Reality TV style showing Purity Ball

Cut to talking heads of girls talking about their pledges of purity.

Still from perspective of Baker's Dozen reality show 
Not-JB says that girls have to make promises to dad so they don't look for attention elsewhere

Dance at purity ball
Tymber and husband are gross, husband mentions "making up for lost time" smarmily ala Josh/JB when referencing premarital purity. 

Not-Michelle chastises 15 year old daughter (Summer) for not watching littlest howler.

Lane passes the fuck out and everyone freaks.  Not-Michelle rushes to her side in a most un-characteristic, only for the cameras manner. 


Cut to hospital:
Carisi tells Tutuoa and Benson that Lane is 4th of 10 kids, passed out at purity ball, and is 3 months pregnant. 

CREDITS

[umsami]

OK....it starts with what looks like a wedding.   The daughter is in a white wedding dress and tiara...Dad in a tux....Pastor behind them....and she's pledging to be virtuous, etc.

Then they all go to NYC for her "purity ball."

One of the elder brothers is snippy with one of the sister Moms.

At the virtue ball, Dad is twirling the daughter...adn she passes out.  3 months pregnant.

Faux Josh makes a comment about the cake looking good and doesn't seem to buy into this.

One older daughter Tymber is married.

[withaj]

Uh oh! Too many recappers! Is this thread freezing up like crazy for anyone else?

[zadie]

Sorry about the typos, I'm new at this lol.

[notfundy]

Wow-- thanks, recappers! You've got flying fingers. I'm watching too... Love the reference to "little ones". Creepy 17 year old son kinda reminds me of Smuggar.

[umsami]

Sorry, it was frozen for me for awhile.  I'll stop.

[Ellimenopy]

Thanks! I am a journalist for a living, and I was trying to think of a scenario that would be Duggar-esque creepiness, but not the expected perpetrators everybody's guessing such as Gothard/the father/the brother. And, then, I let my mind run wild.

After the first five minutes of it, I think you might have actually guessed right.

[IreneIssh]

Ugh. I never watch regular TV anymore, and I have to say that commercials are just completely bizarre. 

[umsami]

LOL....This wasn't an immaculate conception....Mariska to the Mom.  (Parents don't want the police investigating, talking, etc.)

 

Pastor is a lawyer and says they'll notify local family.  

 

Just mentioned the Duggars!

[withaj]

I think it's whoever just asked the female doctor how she was doing... I don't think that was the pastor or a brother. 

ETA: OH MY GOD "Look what happened to the Duggars"

[nst]

this is creepily similar to them 

[Soulhuntress]

This wasn't an immaculate conception!

[bucket]

I'm not gonna recap because everyone else is but Rollins just made a "look what happened to the Duggars" reference

[Exposedknees]

OMG they just said "look what happened to the Duggars " THAT HAPPENED!!!!

[withaj]

Pretty sure they included the Duggars line to emphasize that the show IS NOT about the Duggars. Legally covering their ass via dialogue... smooth.

[sarahpotamus]

I'm loving watching Carisi interact with the kids.

[IreneIssh]

I love that they had Not-Michelle say tacky, clearly scripted stuff to the camera about being ready to leave the Big Apple and get home to some fresh Farm apples, and the camera guys deliberately turning a blind eye to the scandal. 

[cheshire cat]

Fake Josh is so creepy!!!

[Feberin]

I feel like the actress who is playing not-Michelle is really doing a great job.  She really has that character down.

[sarahpotamus]

They did a good job with the fundie children names. 

[nst]

it has to be chris elliot

[umsami]

Mariska asks Lane ...is it somebody she knew?

 

is it somebody in your family?  (She says don't say that.)

Is it somebody who works for you?

Lane says "He loves me."

They're swabbing camera gun for DNA and a warrant for his camera.

 

Lane said it was him. (Probably not.)