House of Paine

[Loveday]

You are all cute :D Yes, unite and please enlighten me: is there a reason for these rugs and covers, or is it just a decorative item?

I guess my dislike for them could be called "regional". Being Scandinavian my taste is probably different from a lot of American's, "Danish Modern" or "Nordic simplicity", what ever you want to call it, is the norm here, frills and decorations without purpose (fake flowers, doilies, figurines, etc.) is pretty much considered bad taste.

It's basically just decorative, but to me, a toilet seat lid just looks kind of stark and bare without something covering it. It gets washed frequently, so it's not gross or anything. And it's quite plain--no owls or cats or other cutesy animals staring up when the lid is closed. Or Elvis. I once saw a picture in a catalog of a toilet lid cover with Elvis on it. :?

Taste really is subjective, isn't it? I like having 'tchotchkes' around me, but they all have to have some meaning, like, this belonged to my grandmother, or that was given to me by a dear friend. And I don't put everything out at once. I keep most of it put away, and change things out every now and then to have something 'new' to look at. And (other than the aforementioned toilet lid cover) I don't have any of that stuff in my bathroom. It's too hard to keep that room clean as it is, why add unnecessary clutter? I mean...I would NEVER have a shower curtain like Erin's. I'd be washing it every week. What a waste of time!

[PennySycamore]

IIRC, I believe it was mentioned here around the time of their wedding that Chad plans on going back to Oklahoma eventually. So it might not be a big deal for him to go along with the decor because he knows they will move again pretty soon, though he might have to repaint that room when they leave. I don't see the landlord (because the house has to be rented, no way do they have money to buy a house anyway) would not be keen on trying to rent out a house with a pink room.

While I have no way of definitely knowing this, my money is on that the marriage has gotten off to a disappointing if not rocky start. Between being sheltered fundies that would not allowed to live on their own before marriage, no prior relationships before marriage, no touching during courtship, first kiss at wedding and all the high expectations of marriage that fundies are raised with, I can imagine newly married life for these two is a major adjustment. Throw in the whole princess thing for Erin, who between her looks and talent got a lot of attention (she always seemed to be catered to) having to take on responsibilities for the home and having a lot more alone time has been hard. While Chad is obviously very attentive to this gorgeous woman he's married to, I wonder how long that's going to go. It's still the honeymoon phase but wonder if he's thinking about what he got into.

Maybe Chad goes to the western style guest room when they have a fight.

As the old Amish saying goes, kissing don't last, cookery do.

[nokidsmom]

As the old Amish saying goes, kissing don't last, cookery do.

Funny, I was actually thinking of that phrase when I wrote the above.

[Rescinded and Mended]

well...Erin sure is a Princess and is getting her way,IMO! I think the bedroom is the result of the way she was brought up,not to have anything all to herself,and not to have dated guys/had bf's,or she would have known that most men wouldn't like that décor as the Patriarch.It's nice of Chad to just let her do what she wants.Hopefully it's just a passing phase,if he somewhere deep down really doesn't like it.Hopefully they can settle on some mutually agreeable décor in the future.(anything but pink?) lol.

I get the feeling that things are most always going to go Erin's way,such as names for the kids.

On the matter of working hard,I'm not sure Erin really wants to be thought of that way.I think she may be happy to be considered a Princess who is catered to by her Prince.JMO.

This is what I was thinking. I believe he realizes that this is a phase that she just needs to work out of her system, and then they can pick out some bedroom furnishings down the line that they will both enjoy. And if it's true that they will be moving back to Oklahoma someday, he may have no problem indulging her decorating whims in a temporary residence.

If Erin truly has any sort of entitled or princessy attitude toward Chad, I think it may cause friction in the marriage, but I am also thinking it may not be such a bad thing if it helps her to assert herself early on in her marriage. After all, Erin was raised in a way of life that places less value on a woman's feelings and overall health than a man's. It isn't right to take advantage of one's husband, and every newlywed couple needs to learn how to argue constructively and mutually work toward solutions when faced with conflict, but at the very least, we know Erin is asserting herself and that Chad is taking her feelings into consideration.

[Dandruff]

Chad sounds like a great guy who is willing to do whatever he can to help their marriage. I wonder how Erin is feeling about things...have we ever seen a post from her?

[danvillebelle]

It's basically just decorative, but to me, a toilet seat lid just looks kind of stark and bare without something covering it. It gets washed frequently, so it's not gross or anything. And it's quite plain--no owls or cats or other cutesy animals staring up when the lid is closed. Or Elvis. I once saw a picture in a catalog of a toilet lid cover with Elvis on it. :?

Taste really is subjective, isn't it? I like having 'tchotchkes' around me, but they all have to have some meaning, like, this belonged to my grandmother, or that was given to me by a dear friend. And I don't put everything out at once. I keep most of it put away, and change things out every now and then to have something 'new' to look at. And (other than the aforementioned toilet lid cover) I don't have any of that stuff in my bathroom. It's too hard to keep that room clean as it is, why add unnecessary clutter? I mean...I would NEVER have a shower curtain like Erin's. I'd be washing it every week. What a waste of time!

That's it! I do exactly the same thing (rotate tchotchkes).

My fuzzy toilet lid cover does have shells on it, as does the shower curtain. The wallpaper border that came with the apt. is shells and I felt like going all matchy-matchy. And I do have a small basket of shells and a pretty piece of coral on the bathroom counter, that I picked up from the beach on our 20th anniversary trip.

[freethemall]

Chad sounds like a great guy who is willing to do whatever he can to help their marriage. I wonder how Erin is feeling about things...have we ever seen a post from her?

No, we've never seen a post from Erin. I think through this whole time from when their courtship started, she's only been discussed either from her mother's blog and blog comments or through Chad. I don't think she had a voice on their wedding website either. Maybe she'll get some encouragement from seeing Whitney or Alyssa start to express themselves online? Or maybe she's just too shy, and prefers using her music to express herself? Really, this decorating is another outlet for her to express herself, however much we all hate it. She's never had a chance to make decisions about bedspreads and shower curtains, and has a husband that's giving her more free reign to do that, more than her parents ever did. If I didn't get to have my own room my whole life and be able to make those choices and have those choices evolve over time, I'd probably have a girly pink bedroom as well.

[Loveday]

That's it! I do exactly the same thing (rotate tchotchkes).

My fuzzy toilet lid cover does have shells on it, as does the shower curtain. The wallpaper border that came with the apt. is shells and I felt like going all matchy-matchy. And I do have a small basket of shells and a pretty piece of coral on the bathroom counter, that I picked up from the beach on our 20th anniversary trip.

Shells are good. Very tasteful. And no eyes staring at you while you're all nekkid. :lol:

[Escapefromfundiedom]

good gawd almighty that bedroom is just...all the things that have been said about it I guess. Chad's posts sound like whatever they're facing, he blames himself and I know plenty of guys who are like that (it seems to happen a lot in fundie marriages where women aren't viewed as equal partners). If their decor is any indicator, Chad has a child bride on his hands.

[fun2beme]

I'm with the fuzzy lid thing, too. I've lived in PA, NJ, and MD and have always seen them being used. I prefer them because I think I'd have a greater chance of having my fingers touch the seat when I pick up the lid without having a buffer between them. But you do have to make sure to clean the covers often or the hygenic part is lost.

[moodygirl86]

The pictures of the bedroom remind me of a letter to Dear Prudence a while back. A man was writing that he was getting married soon, but his fiancee asked that they have a room in their home that is "hers." She would be able to decorate it the way she wanted, go in there for privacy, and no one would be able to enter without her permission. (I can't remember if she wanted to sleep alone in there, too.) She explained that it was because she grew up in a conservative household where she had to share a bedroom with sisters, keep the doors unlocked and opened, and anybody could barge in at any time. Now that she was leaving her parents' household, she wanted a space that she could call her own. Prudie advised the man that it sounded like his fiancee needed a lot more independence outside of her parents' house before she would be ready to get married.

Prudie knows that, so does everybody - except the man who's engaged to her! I hope she did manage to gain some independence.

[doubleT]

I hadn't really given much thought on if Chad and Erin were happy and adjusting to marriage OK. But now that I think back on it, since his honeymoon recap post, he hasn't made one where he goes on and on and on about how Erin is his best friend and how much fun they are having etc.

I find that rather sad. I do hope its just because he's trying to be all "adult" and the man of the family now, but he seemed so much happier before he got to kiss her. :think:

[fundiemental]

It's basically just decorative, but to me, a toilet seat lid just looks kind of stark and bare without something covering it. It gets washed frequently, so it's not gross or anything. And it's quite plain--no owls or cats or other cutesy animals staring up when the lid is closed. Or Elvis. I once saw a picture in a catalog of a toilet lid cover with Elvis on it. :?

Taste really is subjective, isn't it? I like having 'tchotchkes' around me, but they all have to have some meaning, like, this belonged to my grandmother, or that was given to me by a dear friend. And I don't put everything out at once. I keep most of it put away, and change things out every now and then to have something 'new' to look at. And (other than the aforementioned toilet lid cover) I don't have any of that stuff in my bathroom. It's too hard to keep that room clean as it is, why add unnecessary clutter? I mean...I would NEVER have a shower curtain like Erin's. I'd be washing it every week. What a waste of time!

I used to do toilet seat covers too. I thought it was cozy and added some color. Now I can't hack the idea. I've found that nice solid wood (like oak) toilet seats can provide a little visual warmth without the magic of turlit carpet. :)

[pink_chemist]

I can't snark on the pink walls. When we bought our first house, I painted our bedroom hot pink. Four years later, it's still hot pink :) I guess being in the Marine Corps made me want everything girly! Luckily for Mr. Pink_chemist, our bedroom is the only pink and obnoxiously bright room. Everything else is normal beach neutrals!

[rural juror]

This is speculation, but Erin never seemed particularly mature to me. The scene of her huddled and crying during a thunderstorm (at age 19?) comes to mind. Poor Chad, I would stab myself in the eyes if I had a bedroom like that, but the fact that he went along with it hopefully means he will be a thoughtful husband.

[scc12]

I guess I just would have thought Erin would've said,'what color/s do you want in our bedroom?', as opposed to just doing it all her way.I can't imagine he would've said 'PINK!'

Of course there is the possibility he let her do their bedroom her way,and he did the décor in the guest bedroom.

[nokidsmom]

good gawd almighty that bedroom is just...all the things that have been said about it I guess. Chad's posts sound like whatever they're facing, he blames himself and I know plenty of guys who are like that (it seems to happen a lot in fundie marriages where women aren't viewed as equal partners). If their decor is any indicator, Chad has a child bride on his hands.

I did find his comment about making it more of a priority to pray with Erin interesting. Especially coming from someone who we assume who be praying with his wife as a matter of course. Wonder if he's slacked off in that department or if he feels any issues they are facing are due to not praying enough? Got a problem? Pray more!

It does seem like Erin is still stuck in some little girl / teenage phase here but is that really a surprise given how fundies infantilize their adult kids so they got loads of catching up to do once they are finally allowed to live as independent adults, though some might need more catching up then others.

Do agree that Zach and Whit, by contrast, seem to be having a blast. It really shows in their pictures and posts, spelling and grammatical errors notwithstanding.

[Mela99]

This fuzzy lid thing is an anomaly to me....

[Rosie]

I'm with the fuzzy lid thing, too. I've lived in PA, NJ, and MD and have always seen them being used. I prefer them because I think I'd have a greater chance of having my fingers touch the seat when I pick up the lid without having a buffer between them. But you do have to make sure to clean the covers often or the hygenic part is lost.

What will happen if your fingers touch the seat when you pick up the lid? Unless you wash the cover several times a day, the effect is exactly the same as you have with no cover.

I've lived in MA, ME, NY and MD and have never had a toilet seat cover, nor have seen them much among people in my generation (my 85yo mother's, yes; mine, no).

[Seren Ann]

Their bed looks so uncomfortable to me... It's so narrow and high ! I would be very worried of rolling off it in the middle of the night and landing on the floor with a crash, especially with such massive pillows.

As for the frilly shower curtain, I guess it's best if she gets that out of her system before she has a full quiver because I can't imagine she would be wanting the extra laundry then.

Overall, this is not at all what I was expecting... I do agree that their marriage is probably not at all how they were imagining it. Erin seems very dramatic and immature, used to being the centre of attention. She must feel very lonely and homesick. I feel a bit sorry for her.

It's very interesting that Chad let her have her pink room, it goes to show he really does care about her, and it's quite unexpected because usually fundie men's masculinity is so easily threatened.

I'm really curious to see how the whole pregnancy thing will play out. When they get pregnant, how Erin deals with it, etc. At this point I have no idea if it will make her happier, or unhappier.

[nokidsmom]

This is speculation, but Erin never seemed particularly mature to me. The scene of her huddled and crying during a thunderstorm (at age 19?) comes to mind. Poor Chad, I would stab myself in the eyes if I had a bedroom like that, but the fact that he went along with it hopefully means he will be a thoughtful husband.

That scene stuck with me too. I understand that she's scared and all but noticed her crying and huddling while some of her not-so-much-younger siblings had the presence of mind to comfort some of the more younger kids. Get the feeling that she's a bit high maintenance and a drama queen.

I suspect Chad has the perhaps not so enviable job of dealing with her "growing up" now and maybe he didn't expect that. Hope for his sake she does. Probably but it goes to show that if Erin had been allowed to grow up before her marriage whether that was moving out, or holding down a job outside the home (even her parent's home), or gone to a real school, or however way she could have done it, it might have made this time a little easier. Now, it's good that he's allowing her leeway to decorate and while noted upthread, while it may be good for her to assert herself, I sure hope it that helps them develop mutually respectful ways of communicating down the line rather than Queen Erin bossing around her Main Subject.

[Rescinded and Mended]

That scene stuck with me too. I understand that she's scared and all but noticed her crying and huddling while some of her not-so-much-younger siblings had the presence of mind to comfort some of the more younger kids. Get the feeling that she's a bit high maintenance and a drama queen.

I suspect Chad has the perhaps not so enviable job of dealing with her "growing up" now and maybe he didn't expect that. Hope for his sake she does. Probably but it goes to show that if Erin had been allowed to grow up before her marriage whether that was moving out, or holding down a job outside the home (even her parent's home), or gone to a real school, or however way she could have done it, it might have made this time a little easier. Now, it's good that he's allowing her leeway to decorate and while noted upthread, while it may be good for her to assert herself, I sure hope it that helps them develop mutually respectful ways of communicating down the line rather than Queen Erin bossing around her Main Subject.

Oh, I totally agree. I'd hate to see either of them have the upper hand over the other. I've personally seen marriages where one partner completely dominates the other in an attempt to get their way all the time. It's a horrible way to have to go through life. :(

[nokidsmom]

Oh, I totally agree. I'd hate to see either of them have the upper hand over the other. I've personally seen marriages where one partner completely dominates the other in an attempt to get their way all the time. It's a horrible way to have to go through life. :(

I have seen it too and I don't know how a person can live that misery.

[salex]

You are all cute :D Yes, unite and please enlighten me: is there a reason for these rugs and covers, or is it just a decorative item?

I guess my dislike for them could be called "regional". Being Scandinavian my taste is probably different from a lot of American's, "Danish Modern" or "Nordic simplicity", what ever you want to call it, is the norm here, frills and decorations without purpose (fake flowers, doilies, figurines, etc.) is pretty much considered bad taste.

So, I can blame my love of simple decor on my Swedish granny? Good, I will. Every once in a while, I look around my house and think "wow, this place is really under- decorated".

[FrancineFishpaw]

I prefer to leave my toilet bare. I always think of those covers as harboring bad bathroom germs. But I do have a rug in front so go figure.