House of Paine

[nokidsmom]

So, I can blame my love of simple decor on my Swedish granny? Good, I will. Every once in a while, I look around my house and think "wow, this place is really under- decorated".

I am Swedish on both sides of my family and if anyone saw my house they would consider it severely underdecorated. Both Swedish grannies kept it simple, though my paternal granny did like some figurines but it was one over here and another over there and one or two in another room. She didn't have loads of them. I still have her smoked glass Danish vase; talk about a simple design.

[Dandruff]

I have seen it too and I don't know how a person can live that misery.

I've seen it pretty close up also. Horrible, with no end in sight except eventual death, which is how it ended for the poor soul. Meanwhile, the "dominator" (really too nice a word under the circumstance) continues to pull the same stuff with anyone who gets within range.

[RandomTrivia]

I prefer to leave my toilet bare. I always think of those covers as harboring bad bathroom germs. But I do have a rug in front so go figure.

I also have toilet rugs. But, in my defense, I also have a boy-child, and when he was potty-training, our house had carpeted bathrooms (why?!?!?!), so we thought it was better for the mistakes to land on a washable rug rather than carpet. And that's kind of carried over to the new place, with (cold!!) tile bathroom floors.

Now, I don't really remember seeing the tank wraps, but my family always had the fuzzy lid covers, until me. In my experience, they tend to make the lid fall closed at random times, usually when no one was in the room, and which always startled me. Plus, with the potty-training kiddo, randomly-dropping toilet lids would have been a bad, bad idea. And, well, they seem kind of like a big germ catcher. And since most of them have elastic edges or rubber nonskid backs, you can't wash them often or well anyway.

Of course, some genius solved that problem by inventing the "toilet tattoo" - I kid you not, I got one for Christmas. My mother apparently noticed my lack of fuzzy-toilet-covered ness.

I don't get the point of cutesy covers for the Kleenex boxes, either. And, as I told my husband recently, we can't "redecorate" anytime soon, because we haven't actually "decorated" in the first place. (His mom redecorated her kitchen every five years or so.)

Now, carpeted bathrooms, or something else??

[divadivine]

The basket in the bedroom has gift bags & maybe letters in it. I don't think it's children's books.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

One of the gruffest "manly" men I knew growing up slept in a twin bed across from his wife in an all pink bedroom, had an all pink bathroom and an all pink kitchen. They had 4 kids and were very happily married. I say let them have it their way. Who doesn't enjoy doing their first home.

[Katydid]

Latest post on Chad's blog: chadsperspective.blogspot.ca/

He gives us a tour of their house. Or should I say, Erin's house, because she seems to be in charge of the decor. Just take a look at that master bedroom. There are truly no words. If their marriage is having issues I think the bedroom might be part of the problem... and that's not a euphemism. :shock:

Does anyone know why he has a Canadian blogspot? Is is his family originally Canadian, or does he have family there?

[lilith]

Does anyone know why he has a Canadian blogspot? Is is his family originally Canadian, or does he have family there?

For some reason blogspot blogs show up as in the region you access them from. The show up as .au for me.

[ladyaudley]

I just can't with that couch (especially since that stripy chair is so nice! Why ruin that with the couch next to it??) and all those hideous fake flower nicknacks. Yuck. They just look so *dated*. People had that sort of stuff ( and frilly loo covers!) in Germany in the 90's when I was a kid.

[scc12]

Their bed looks so uncomfortable to me... It's so narrow and high ! I would be very worried of rolling off it in the middle of the night and landing on the floor with a crash, especially with such massive pillows.

As for the frilly shower curtain, I guess it's best if she gets that out of her system before she has a full quiver because I can't imagine she would be wanting the extra laundry then.

Overall, this is not at all what I was expecting... I do agree that their marriage is probably not at all how they were imagining it. Erin seems very dramatic and immature, used to being the centre of attention. She must feel very lonely and homesick. I feel a bit sorry for her.

It's very interesting that Chad let her have her pink room, it goes to show he really does care about her, and it's quite unexpected because usually fundie men's masculinity is so easily threatened.

I'm really curious to see how the whole pregnancy thing will play out. When they get pregnant, how Erin deals with it, etc. At this point I have no idea if it will make her happier, or unhappier.

I can't really see Erin being too happy w stretch marks,leaky boobs,a crying,hungry baby (esp. in the middle of the night),and an expanded waistline and weight gain.Moreover,the hormonal mood swings.Plus morning sickness (sometimes all day sickness for some women) and waddling around heavily pregnant the last few weeks of pregnancy.

And then the terrible two's/temper tantrums,etc.

It takes a very mature person to be able to deal with it all.And to be able to put the baby's needs before your own.And I don't just mean the fundies sending siblings or others over to help.

I do hope the Bates and Chad and his family will take that into consideration when they expect Erin to keep popping out babies mindlessly.It's not for everyone.they may need to adjust their thinking and ways when it comes to her.JMO.

[Katydid]

For some reason blogspot blogs show up as in the region you access them from. The show up as .au for me.

Oh, ok. Thank you!

[fun2beme]

What will happen if your fingers touch the seat when you pick up the lid? Unless you wash the cover several times a day, the effect is exactly the same as you have with no cover.

I've lived in MA, ME, NY and MD and have never had a toilet seat cover, nor have seen them much among people in my generation (my 85yo mother's, yes; mine, no).

LOL - nothing would really happen. Just one of my unreasonable little idiosyncracies. :D

On a serious note, I wonder if Chad is just more honest about the not-always-smooth-sailing transition from being single to being married than other fundie bloggers. I can't imagine every couple has non-stop bliss from the second they say "I do" and perhaps he's just more forthcoming about it. It might be even more magnified since we expect that "happily ever after" theme from fundies.

At any rate, I wish them well.

[lilith]

LOL - nothing would really happen. Just one of my unreasonable little idiosyncracies. :D

On a serious note, I wonder if Chad is just more honest about the not-always-smooth-sailing transition from being single to being married than other fundie bloggers. I can't imagine every couple has non-stop bliss from the second they say "I do" and perhaps he's just more forthcoming about it. It might be even more magnified since we expect that "happily ever after" theme from fundies.

At any rate, I wish them well.

This. I'm actually more optimistic about their relationship after hearing that they are struggling with the adjustment than I was after hearing Davie and Priscilla's gushing about marital bliss and their perfect union.

[bumblebee]

I hope he's just being more honest about the adjustments they both have to make. Either that or its been so rough that he feels forced to admit even a bland version. They'd known each other longer than many married couples though, even with no touch, so I wonder if that's an obstacle in the transition, they thought they knew what they were getting.

Maybe this is a gateway to the next phase in courtship? Admitting that since God basically arranges for strangers to get married that it's *not* a Disney princess fairytale. Inevitably leading on to actual arranged marriages with a more practical "do your duty to God and your family and you'll grow to put up with them!" message. Although the books about that will be less popular than the Prince Charming type stuff.

[doubleT]

If Chad and Erin's transition hasn't been all a bed of roses, I wonder if we will see a change in how the Bates family does courtship. Seems they made some changes when Zach's first relationship went bust. If Erin talks to her mom and dad and shares how she wishes things had been different, would mom and dad allow different boundaries for the courtships of their younger children?

[itsnikki05]

I don't mind the bedroom (with some minor changes). I love the white bed frame, but the canopy would go, it looks like the canopy I gave my niece for her first "big girl" bed when she was three. I love shabby chic and I don't mind certain shades of pink as an accent color and I do like the bedspread, but between it and the pink walls it looks like a Pepto Bismol bomb exploded in there. I would have chosen another pastel for the walls, such as a soft yellow, blue, or green. Something that complemented the bedspread, but didn't make one feel like they were in a sea of pink. Also, that shower curtain would go.

I like the shower curtain!! But otherwise, I agree.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I hope its a while before Erin gets pregnant. She has been so sheltered and I don't think she would cope with a baby just yet. I hope they have a few years to mature and get used to living as adults before they have to be parents.

[lilith]

If Chad and Erin's transition hasn't been all a bed of roses, I wonder if we will see a change in how the Bates family does courtship. Seems they made some changes when Zach's first relationship went bust. If Erin talks to her mom and dad and shares how she wishes things had been different, would mom and dad allow different boundaries for the courtships of their younger children?

I very much doubt either of them would identify their courtship as the root of any issues they may be having. They did the courtship the exact way they had been taught to, and got their big fairy take wedding at the end as a reward, complete with lots of compliments and praise for maintaining their purity.

If they are having problems they will put it down to not praying together enough, or remind themselves of the fundie belief that love is a choice, not an emotion. Chad's family may also blame it on Erin not truly "leaving and cleaving" and becoming 100% a Paine - it seems that she's still spending a lot of time at her parent's home and having her siblings over to stay.

[Ampak]

What does a fundie SAHW do a day without children to watch after. I've always wondered since they typically go from being sister-mom to childless wife overnight. There's only so much house keeping and cooking a person can do in one day.

[Justme]

What does a fundie SAHW do a day without children to watch after. I've always wondered since they typically go from being sister-mom to childless wife overnight. There's only so much house keeping and cooking a person can do in one day.

I thought Erin was finishing her college. She has a piano, she could give lessons.

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

My 4 year old daughter just proclaimed that Chad and Erin have a pretty princess room, and that she wants a pink princess room just like their room!

Not my cup of tea, but my 4 year old thinks it is fantastic!

[Rescinded and Mended]

I've seen it pretty close up also. Horrible, with no end in sight except eventual death, which is how it ended for the poor soul. Meanwhile, the "dominator" (really too nice a word under the circumstance) continues to pull the same stuff with anyone who gets within range.

The latest story I've heard in this vein concerns a relative of a friend. The relative spent the last 25 years or so driving her husband (and everyone else) crazy with her constant criticisms and domineering attitude. Nothing he ever did was good enough. At one point, they were on vacation together, and their car was broken into and ransacked. She spent a solid hour screaming and blaming him for the fact their car was burgled (he hadn't left the door open or anything like that). Poor guy just took it. Fast forward many years later, and he started seeing someone on the side. Interestingly, the woman got horribly offended and divorced him. She blamed him for every bad thing that went wrong in their marriage.

I don't think he should have cheated, obviously, but it would have been nice if they'd been able to get counseling for their issues a lot sooner. She never did agree to it, and by that point, I think he just wanted out. The guy is now married to the other woman. According to my friend, he is deliriously happy with her. The first wife is still clueless about any part she could have played in their split.

[Tangy Bee]

I very much doubt either of them would identify their courtship as the root of any issues they may be having. They did the courtship the exact way they had been taught to, and got their big fairy take wedding at the end as a reward, complete with lots of compliments and praise for maintaining their purity.

If they are having problems they will put it down to not praying together enough, or remind themselves of the fundie belief that love is a choice, not an emotion. Chad's family may also blame it on Erin not truly "leaving and cleaving" and becoming 100% a Paine - it seems that she's still spending a lot of time at her parent's home and having her siblings over to stay.

Maybe she's just trying to enjoy them as long as she can. Chad might want to move back to Oklahoma when she's done with school. It's just hard for me not to believe they don't want privacy most of the time.

Ok folks...don't get annoyed...but I LOVE that bedroom :cracking-up: Seriously I LOVE love country/quilt looking spreads. Lots and lots of pillows! Gotta have lots of pillows. I think I would have chosen a dusty rose color instead of pick. Got some messy little folks in my house so that frilly looking shower curtain would NOT last around here. Been around toilet covers my whole life, so I have nothing negative to say about that.

[Ellimenopy]

I think the revelations of Erin's adolescent decorating and their adjustments are interesting, but I don't understand anyone who's saying that it spells bad things for their relationship. Mr. Menopy had a typical American dating and engagement, complete with conjugal visits and lots of time alone, and we still had a huge adjustment period! We weren't too clingy with our family, or anything like that - we'd both lived and worked on our own. It's just different living with someone, no matter how well you think you know them.

And I went a little crazy redecorating my husband's home when I moved in. It didn't mean anything about our relationship - my husband just doesn't buy anything that matches. Sooo... I did things like buy matching hand towels, and slipcovers for the couches. Granted, I didn't do it in all pink, but I definitely did it to my tastes, because my husband doesn't have *any* taste. Not as in, his taste is bad... just he literally doesn't care as long as it's functional and I'm happy. Perhaps Chad is the same way.

I think Erin and Chad are going to have challenges because of the way they've been brought up, but I still see them as having the best chance that they could. They've only been married three months. And they'll be okay when they have a baby, too. Yes, Erin will have to adjust her attitude. But plenty of parents have done that before. How many of us who are parents can really say that we were prepared for children? I'm not talking about planning financially, or being excited, and knowing that you're ready. You just can't know what a marathon parenting is like until you do it. And better or worse, most parents love their kids enough that somehow they find the energy to do it.

So yes, I still worry about them and their kids, but I don't think they're doomed. I think they will get it together and thrive within their lifestyle.

[ricky_ticky]

Methinks it is not very submissive of Erin to decorate the master bedroom this way. Isn't she supposed to subjugate her desires to what Chad would want even if he says "Do what you want, darling! I love pink!" All that femininity in the bedroom is emasculating.

[lilith]

Methinks it is not very submissive of Erin to decorate the master bedroom this way. Isn't she supposed to subjugate her desires to what Chad would want even if he says "Do what you want, darling! I love pink!" All that femininity in the bedroom is emasculating.

I think decorating is considered a female interest and jurisdiction. I'm not sure fundie males are meant to care, even if they're drowning in pink and getting tangled in a princess canopy when they try to have sweet fellowship.