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Maybe Erin in just tired? If they subscribe to traditional gender roles, Erin would be doing all the cooking & cleaning. Plus isn't she still in college? Perhaps Princess Erin is pooped out.

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Wait...so fundies have sex naked too? :o Ok sorry...I shouldn't have gone there. No really I'm just trying to piss off some "troll" fundie into delurking and setting me straight. There are just simply some married fundies I can't even imagine having totally naked sex. Sorry they are just SO weird and I can't help but think weird things about them. If there is a fundie out there...pray for me!

LOL, I hadn't thought about that, maybe they aren't naked. I guess I shouldn't assume they are.

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i think she's just really tired. also i looked at the blog pictures on a bigger screen and noticed that in many of them she's not wearing makeup, when she typically seems to wear a lot. i look terribly tired and less alert with no makeup on lol!

she may also be really stressed that she's breaking away from traditional fundie wife role by being a college student. that's not what you're "supposed" to do in those circles (even though its just Crown) and she may be getting heat from his parents or hers. If she has a class that runs late, Chad may have to (gasp!!) make dinner and even if he does it happily, Erin's been raised to feel horrible about her husband doing any woman's work at all.

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I'm a 26 year old college grad, went to college in another state (until transferring back to my home state for program reasons), was an RA in college, got a job right after college and lived with roommates before purchasing my own home...

And the adjustment to living alone and being homeowner to me was still completely overwhelming. Two years in, I'm just starting to get a handle on it.

I am not good at living alone, and that doesn't come from a sheltered environment or being forced to spend all my time with my siblings. I'm generally a very independent person, and I honestly had no clue I would hate it so much until I tried it. Unfortunately, there is no way to have a roommate in my house, I have a mortgage now so there's no going back.

What I'm trying to say is that I have sympathy for Erin. I think some transitions are just harder for some than others, and I don't think that necessarily comes from any flaw in character or upbringing. She was probably very excited to move out, and it's probably very hard for her that her first year of marriage isn't as rosy as she imagined.

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I'm a 26 year old college grad, went to college in another state (until transferring back to my home state for program reasons), was an RA in college, got a job right after college and lived with roommates before purchasing my own home...

And the adjustment to living alone and being homeowner to me was still completely overwhelming. Two years in, I'm just starting to get a handle on it.

I am not good at living alone, and that doesn't come from a sheltered environment or being forced to spend all my time with my siblings. I'm generally a very independent person, and I honestly had no clue I would hate it so much until I tried it. Unfortunately, there is no way to have a roommate in my house, I have a mortgage now so there's no going back.

What I'm trying to say is that I have sympathy for Erin. I think some transitions are just harder for some than others, and I don't think that necessarily comes from any flaw in character or upbringing. She was probably very excited to move out, and it's probably very hard for her that her first year of marriage isn't as rosy as she imagined.

I was in a very similar situation, including the RA part. I've lived alone since I was out of college for a few months, and while it was difficult at first (especially since I moved to another state where I didn't know anyone), I got used to it in time and now love it. It's been over 15 years now. :) Hopefully this will happen to you too. One thing that helped me a lot was getting a cat. It was nice to know there was something else living and breathing in the house. Good luck!

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Honestly, I'm shocked at the people who are surprised that they are having some adjustment issues. Even religion aside, you took two sheltered people and moved one to a completely different part of the country and the other out of her family home for the first time. They now have financial responsibilities, are having sex for the first time, and have to work things out with another person who is their partner for life.

I've staggered my life milestones so far (being in a relationship, losing my virginity, working and paying my own bills, moving to a different place) and each time there was definitely an adjustment period for me. And I didn't have the added pressure of being a representation of my denomination to an audience or of believing that if I weren't happy it was because I wasn't pleasing God.

I'm far from fundie (and not even in a relationship) and even I wonder and worry about the adjustment to everyday married life after the build up of a wedding celebration if I had one. It can't help but feel like a let down.

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Any big life change is difficult and often exhausting, even if it's a positive change. With age and life experience you come to expect that, and so it doesn't hit you as hard. Fundies rob their children of so many life experiences that I think major changes can hit them harder than normal.

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Steak n Shake is amazing. Their milkshakes are stellar and the steak burgers.... unf.

You can either get your food to go or you sit down and get waited on like a regular restaurant. Definitely not a fast food place.

I agree! It's just sad that I really can't have dairy and the service at the one local to us... It's pitiful. And I give a lot of leeway because I know customer service can be rough.

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Honestly, I'm shocked at the people who are surprised that they are having some adjustment issues. Even religion aside, you took two sheltered people and moved one to a completely different part of the country and the other out of her family home for the first time. They now have financial responsibilities, are having sex for the first time, and have to work things out with another person who is their partner for life.

I've staggered my life milestones so far (being in a relationship, losing my virginity, working and paying my own bills, moving to a different place) and each time there was definitely an adjustment period for me. And I didn't have the added pressure of being a representation of my denomination to an audience or of believing that if I weren't happy it was because I wasn't pleasing God.

I'm far from fundie (and not even in a relationship) and even I wonder and worry about the adjustment to everyday married life after the build up of a wedding celebration if I had one. It can't help but feel like a let down.

I am not at all surprised that they are having adjustment issues. It happens enough for those of us who aren't fundie as I know by my own experience. But for very sheltered fundies who aren't allowed any independence of any kind, who are in many cases undereducated, are told that if they follow certain rules then this is how life works with no allowance for possibilities of it not going wrong (but if it is, you weren't praying enough or godly enough) that marriage is going to be all sunshine and roses when they haven't had any prior relationship experience, I would think the adjustment issues would be pretty magnified. Such ill-preparation and loaded expectations would make it a lot harder.

And I don't believe for a moment that Chad and Erin are the only ones. I do think that a lot of fundie couples go through major adjustments but cover it up. Carry on and put on the happy face, whether or not the issues get resolved. And I don't think that many of them do either. Chad is being unusually honest here.

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I was in a very similar situation, including the RA part. I've lived alone since I was out of college for a few months, and while it was difficult at first (especially since I moved to another state where I didn't know anyone), I got used to it in time and now love it. It's been over 15 years now. :) Hopefully this will happen to you too. One thing that helped me a lot was getting a cat. It was nice to know there was something else living and breathing in the house. Good luck!

Thanks! I have 3 cats and a dog, and they have helped a lot! The cats sleep with me, and the dog is out in the main room, making sure no one uninvited comes in :)

Of course, it didn't help that 9 months after I moved in to my 110 year old house, my main plumbing line suddenly stopped working and I had to get 10 feet replaced. The shock and resulting $5K bill on top of my depression and difficulty with the transition were enough to overwhelm me for some time.

I'm finally getting over that (about a year later) enough where I sometimes toy with taking on house projects. Hopefully sometime this year I will be brave enough to face potential structural issues with the house and replace the floor (I know there's settling, and I'd be shocked if there wasn't rot/mold).

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And I don't believe for a moment that Chad and Erin are the only ones. I do think that a lot of fundie couples go through major adjustments but cover it up. Carry on and put on the happy face, whether or not the issues get resolved. And I don't think that many of them do either. Chad is being unusually honest here.

I'm also impressed with Chad's honesty. I have less of a sense of what's going on with Erin, since she isn't the one posting, but I'm trying to be sympathetic. The expectations for "happily ever after" could have been really high due to the families' positions with ATI along with some ingrained belief that following the rules naturally leads to harmony and blessings. Perhaps she thought that once the house was fixed up, furnished, and immaculate, and the wedding and honeymoon over, that things would just work out. I don't doubt that she loves Chad and is a good homemaker. I remember some Duggar episodes where the Bateses were helping at their house and Erin always appeared as diligent as the rest. Whatever the issue(s) might be, I don't see why they can't confide in their parents or other recently married couples, and maybe they are. Things could turn out fine.

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Remember how terrified Anna Maxwell looked in the months after her wedding? Now that they've been married a few years, she looks much more relaxed.

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Remember how terrified Anna Maxwell looked in the months after her wedding? Now that they've been married a few years, she looks much more relaxed.

I firmly believe Anna and Christopher delayed consummation, especially considering how long they took to conceive Joshua and how soon after his birth they conceived Ruthanne. And that's a good thing - they hadn't even TOUCHED before the wedding of doom, no cheesy courtship photos and fun for them.

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I firmly believe Anna and Christopher delayed consummation, especially considering how long they took to conceive Joshua and how soon after his birth they conceived Ruthanne. And that's a good thing - they hadn't even TOUCHED before the wedding of doom, no cheesy courtship photos and fun for them.

Joshie in nearly 2. He would have been about 1 when Ruthie was conceived. Weren't they married about a year when Joshie was conceived?

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Joshie in nearly 2. He would have been about 1 when Ruthie was conceived. Weren't they married about a year when Joshie was conceived?

Yes. The announced she was pregnant with Joshua around their first anniversary, and then they announced they were pregnant again around Joshua's first birthday.

I'm guessing there will be another announcement one year from now.

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I'm also impressed with Chad's honesty. I have less of a sense of what's going on with Erin, since she isn't the one posting, but I'm trying to be sympathetic. The expectations for "happily ever after" could have been really high due to the families' positions with ATI along with some ingrained belief that following the rules naturally leads to harmony and blessings. Perhaps she thought that once the house was fixed up, furnished, and immaculate, and the wedding and honeymoon over, that things would just work out. I don't doubt that she loves Chad and is a good homemaker. I remember some Duggar episodes where the Bateses were helping at their house and Erin always appeared as diligent as the rest. Whatever the issue(s) might be, I don't see why they can't confide in their parents or other recently married couples, and maybe they are. Things could turn out fine.

I think they're just getting used to each other. Maybe they're busy and she's tired. Or they're having trouble getting pregnant. Or she's already pregnant and she's tired. We haven't seen any pictures of her since Christmas, have we? I think they're fine or will be fine, which is perfectly normal for newlyweds.

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In addition to withholding normal life experiences from their children that allow them to stretch and grow as people, fundies also withhold valuable observations. A lot of non fundie parents will fess up to young couples about to get married that adjustment periods are normal, that you are undergoing a life altering change, that there will be difficulties no matter how much you love each other. There is at least a semblance of "watch out, there are going to be a few potholes in the road".

Of course Erin may be having adjustment issues. First, it's normal. But no one in her inner circle had the common sense to warn her it was normal.

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