Bro Gary Hawkins 21: Let's PRIASE the Lord

[MayMay1123]

Litter boxes.... I don't think I've heard anything quite so stupid before. What is wrong with your mind that you'd actually believe this? 

[Alisamer]

57 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

Litter boxes.... I don't think I've heard anything quite so stupid before. What is wrong with your mind that you'd actually believe this? 

My personal conspiracy theory is that Fox News has managed to find some sort of signal they can broadcast that causes cumulative brain damage the longer you watch. It's the only thing I can imagine that might explain just how incredibly stupid and gullible people have become, many of who seemed to be relatively normally intelligent kind people a decade and a half or so ago. 

My other theory is that some of them were so incredibly racist deep down that having a black president literally broke their brains. 

I know a dude who is an actual furry. Haven't seen him in a few years, but we were good friends for a while. 

Nobody's using litter boxes. Apparently the CSI episode with the furries was surprisingly accurate, in his opinion, but yeah. Nobody is spending money on fur suits or accessories and then using a litterbox. 

What's happening is trans kids want to be able to go to the bathroom where they are least likely to be attacked and assaulted, and because that might not line up with what equipment is in their pants, bigots are going off the rails and coming up with the most nonsensical future "slippery slope" ideas they can, and declaring them true.

Kind of like how before same sex marriage was legal most places they were all "People will be marrying their dogs!!!1!!!11!"

Bigots be bigoting. And stupid. So incredibly stupid. 

[Black Aliss]

14 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Bro Gary is preaching against Halloween and it's incredibly transphobic. He also claims to "hate dogs" and he hates stupidity. @ Bad Sermons has the clip of this terrible rant in the kitchen.  It's a longer clip.

Trigger Warning: Here is the link. Transphobic crap. No school is letting (or forcing) kids to use litter boxes. Dumb, shameful, cruel hate. 

 

I have so many questions and they don't include his loathing of his own stupidity. I thought the revival meeting in the print shop was weird, but. . .

Why is he preaching in that kitchen? If this is a "home church" wouldn't the residents at least tidy up a bit for the Special Guest Evangelist? Does he just enter random houses and start yelling? Does he seek out people in the early stages of a hoarding disorder? Or is he practicing a sermon in his host's kitchen?

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

Litter boxes.... I don't think I've heard anything quite so stupid before. What is wrong with your mind that you'd actually believe this? 

The Republican candidates for governor in Minnesota and Colorado are campaigning on this BS, as are candidates for state and federal offices (at least 20 at last count).

https://www.metroweekly.com/2022/10/republicans-claim-furries-are-using-litter-boxes-in-schools/

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/misinformation/urban-myth-litter-boxes-schools-became-gop-talking-point-rcna51439

The US is in for a world of trouble come next January. The Rapture cannot come soon enough to suit me. And, no I do not expect to be taken up. But the most annoying and dangerous people in the world will.

Edited November 4, 2022 by Black Aliss

[thoughtful]

34 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Why is he preaching in that kitchen? If this is a "home church" wouldn't the residents at least tidy up a bit for the Special Guest Evangelist? Does he just enter random houses and start yelling? Does he seek out people in the early stages of a hoarding disorder? Or is he practicing a sermon in his host's kitchen?

That is Gary's "home church," at his father's place. And no, they never put away any of the kitchen mess to have church. They have church so many times during the week - why bother?

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

That is Gary's "home church," at his father's place. And no, they never put away any of the kitchen mess to have church. They have church so many times during the week - why bother?

See, this would be an ideal time for a clever pastor to use cooking metaphors during his sermon while actually cooking, and end up with a tasty lunch dish at the end. Baptists love to eat, and I can't imagine there are so many people there that they couldn't whip up something to feed everyone. 

But I guess that's "women's work", isn't it. Have we ever seen evidence there was something in the oven while they are pontificating? I feel like if they are preaching in the kitchen so often surely at some point there's a full crock pot off to the side, or a casserole in the oven.  Or are they the sort who prefer to go out for Sunday lunch and then be all rude to the people "working on the sabbath" to feed them? 

That was mostly a rhetorical question.

[Ozlsn]

On 11/5/2022 at 4:36 AM, Alisamer said:

See, this would be an ideal time for a clever pastor to use cooking metaphors during his sermon while actually cooking

Also could use metaphors about loving and serving others to preach while cleaning up. But that is definitely women's work, so...

[AmazonGrace]

Huh this litter box thing is such a bizarre thing to worry about. Even if true, why would it matter? KJV never said, "thou shalt only pee in water closets".  

"Peeing on sand is an abomination unto God. Wash your hands."  

[griffin]

My girlfriend teaches high school English and she has to keep a trash can filled with cat litter in the closet in case there is an active shooter and they are locked down and no one can use the bathroom.

[Xan]

Gary posted this today on Facebook:

This is what he looked like in his most recent sermon.

Gary -- if you're cinching your pants up underneath your gut, you can't claim that you've lost weight.  I'm not fat shaming him.  I am carrying too much weight myself.  But in no way does Gary have a 36" waistline.

[AmazonGrace]

What is with the hands out sideways pose? Is the theory that you're more Christlike if you stand like you're about to be crucified? 

Spoiler

 

[postscript]

He also posted something recently about no conversion without conviction. I’m afraid it took me a minute to figure out what he meant as the definition of “conviction” that came uppermost in my mind was the type of conviction that happened to Josh D. 

[Black Aliss]

21 hours ago, Xan said:

ary -- if you're cinching your pants up underneath your gut, you can't claim that you've lost weight.  I'm not fat shaming him.  I am carrying too much weight myself.  But in no way does Gary have a 36" waistline.

Becky must have found him a pair of very low-rise trousers, or he wouldn't be able to walk with the  crotch of the trousers down around his knees.

[postscript]

21 hours ago, Xan said:

Gary posted this today on Facebook:

This is what he looked like in his most recent sermon.

Gary -- if you're cinching your pants up underneath your gut, you can't claim that you've lost weight.  I'm not fat shaming him.  I am carrying too much weight myself.  But in no way does Gary have a 36" waistline.

Where does he find all these extra-long Bible-themed ties? Or does he just tie the skinny end super-short? That one is dangling by his, er, dangly bits. Not the portion of his anatomy he wants to call attention to during his anti-nekkid people rants. 

[Xan]

1 hour ago, postscript said:

Where does he find all these extra-long Bible-themed ties? Or does he just tie the skinny end super-short? That one is dangling by his, er, dangly bits. Not the portion of his anatomy he wants to call attention to during his anti-nekkid people rants. 

My theory is that he noticed that Trump wears his ties hanging long.  I think Trump believes that it's slimming.  If Trump wore bowties, Gary would have one on tomorrow.  As to the Bible themes, a Google search brings up a lot of them.  I didn't realize there was such a market for ugly, religious ties.

[AmazonGrace]

I believe Gary believes he has vision.

 

Spoiler

Ok folks hey Preachers where is your vision? Where there is no vision, the people perish. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

Hate the sin, hate the sinners. 

Spoiler

Ok folks I'm not sure how serious we are taking our sins. I believe we better get back to Hating sin.  
Bro Gary Hawkins

 

[Alisamer]

On 11/6/2022 at 12:23 PM, AmazonGrace said:

Huh this litter box thing is such a bizarre thing to worry about. Even if true, why would it matter? KJV never said, "thou shalt only pee in water closets".  

"Peeing on sand is an abomination unto God. Wash your hands."  

According to PP, of course, the KJV says that men must "pisseth against the wall". 

Because you can find anything online, here's what I found about KJV era toilets:

Quote

Public toilets remained in use by the English lower classes, and were often situated in bridges over rivers.

Privies, consisting of rows of seats over an earth closet or a cesspit, were commonly found in the countryside, and sometimes in urban private homes. They were often set in outside sheds, but sometimes in cellars.

Portable chamber pots (modern example shown above) were usually preferred by the urban middle and upper classes. They would often be emptied into the street.

The first modern flushing toilet was introduced in Britain in 1596 by Sir John Harrington, a godson of Queen Elizabeth I, and was installed in the Queen’s castle, but proved unpopular with the royals of the day, who preferred their accustomed chamber pot service. Flush toilet technology was not widely adopted until the mid-19th century.

So frankly a litter box might have been a step UP for many people in that time period. (There were older civilizations with more primitive flush toilets much earlier, though... someone in Jesus' time might have been more likely to see an actual flushing toilet than someone in King James' time.) 

[AmazonGrace]

He that pisseth against the wall has a house that stinketh of urine.

[Xan]

Gary posted this on Facebook:

I think it's safe to say that he's not happy about some of the election results.

[EyesOpen]

On 11/6/2022 at 2:10 PM, griffin said:

My girlfriend teaches high school English and she has to keep a trash can filled with cat litter in the closet in case there is an active shooter and they are locked down and no one can use the bathroom.

See now there’s a real tragic problem it’d be nice if Gary and his ilk worried about trying to solve

[postscript]

5 hours ago, Xan said:

Gary posted this on Facebook:

I think it's safe to say that he's not happy about some of the election results.

Suck it up and deal, Gary, just like the rest of us sucked it up in 2016. The Republican strategy of putting up unqualified, Trump-endorsed wing nuts didn’t work. No cheating about it. I can’t help suspecting God looked down and said, “Let’s not have the lunatics running the asylum for the next two years.” 

[thoughtful]

For some reason, I can't see Gary's Facebook. So, I searched his name to find out if perhaps he's on there with a new account. The first Gary Hawkins I found was this guy, who isn't Gary, but sure thinks like him when it comes to politics.

Spoiler

\

https://www.facebook.com/gary.hawkins.393

Back to searching for "our" Gary . . .

[griffin]

I keep Bro Gary in my f b daily search list. He has disappeared. I thought it was odd a couple weeks ago, when all mentions of Becky were erased from his page. His posts always said "with Rebecca Hawkins" and they were cleaned off. Now this.

[marmalade]

Could his account be suspended for some reason? 

[postscript]

So I’m not the only one, thank goodness. I wondered if I’d been blocked, which I suppose would be possible. However, though I check on him nearly every day, I don’t follow him or react to any of his posts. I can’t think he’s technologically savvy to be aware of invisible searchers. Sounds like he’s either in Facebook jail or voluntarily removed his accounts. 

All recent YouTube activity has also been deleted. 

[thoughtful]

22 minutes ago, postscript said:

All recent YouTube activity has also been deleted. 

I just saw that. I am not happy.

I guess this is my punishment for not keeping up with my recaps of Gary's sermons. They've been taken away, and now I will never get to see them and find out if there were any new atrocities, or just the usual atrocities.

OK, folks, as Gary would say. No more atheism for me - I believe in Gary's punitive mean god now. I am a repentant reptobate.

(I kid, I kid).