Bro Gary Hawkins 21: Let's PRIASE the Lord

[samurai_sarah]

Continue from here:

 

[AmazonGrace]

I approve of this strategy as it's ideal for those of us with a short attention span. It's always a good idea in a long speech to make your point in the beginning and then when you finish, remind your audience, or yourself, about what the hell you were talking about. Also, if you don't get applause the first time you have to say it again.  So as I told you, I approve of this as it's a great strategy for those of us with a short attention span.   

Spoiler

Ok folks if you get Saved you will know it. No matter your background JESUS makes a difference.  Yes you will need to be  Disciple and we all should be growing.  As I said in the beginning if you get Saved you will know. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

[Black Aliss]

4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I approve of this strategy as it's ideal for those of us with a short attention span. It's always a good idea in a long speech to make your point in the beginning and then when you finish, remind your audience, or yourself, about what the hell you were talking about. Also, if you don't get applause the first time you have to say it again.  So as I told you, I approve of this as it's a great strategy for those of us with a short attention span.   

  Hide contents

Ok folks if you get Saved you will know it. No matter your background JESUS makes a difference.  Yes you will need to be  Disciple and we all should be growing.  As I said in the beginning if you get Saved you will know. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

Also when you're speaking to a group of people with memory loss.

I think there's a template for public speaking that goes something like 

1. tell them what you're going to tell them
2. tell them
3. tell them what you just told them

 

Edited October 17, 2022 by Black Aliss

[AmazonGrace]

24 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Also when you're speaking to a group of people with memory loss.

I think there's a template for public speaking that goes something like 

1. tell them what you're going to tell them
2. tell them
3. tell them what you just told them

 

They said pretty much the same thing in the scientific writing course.

1. In the abstract you tell them what you researched and what your research said.

2. In the introduction, you tell them what you're going to research.

3. In the methods section, you tell them what you researched.

4 In the result section: you tell them what your research said.

5. In the discussion, you tell them what you researched and what your research said and try to find a way to make it interesting.

Edited October 17, 2022 by AmazonGrace

[missy1228]

Trial lawyers are trained in primacy and recency-- that people (in my case, jurors) remember what they are told first and last. So I always remember that when I'm giving an opening statement or closing argument to a jury. I know there's science behind it, but I don't have much practical evidence that it works- other than charting my wins and losses, which I try not to do, because to me it isn't about that!

Concepts like primacy and recency would at best make Gary's eyes glaze over and at worse scramble his brain.

[AmazonGrace]

Ok folks, something to think about. Gary shared this.

Spoiler

Matthew Kelly

 

We’ve traded scriptural church for an interactive theater performance.

We’ve traded scriptural preaching for opinionated rants with a Bible verse attached.

We’ve traded scriptural psalms for shallow hymnody and “Life will be awesome when I die” songs with a catchy tune.

We’ve traded scriptural conversion and discipleship for a pressured altar-call decision hinging on a desire for Heaven and a fear of Hell.

We’ve traded the old paths for the traditions of our fathers and taught for doctrine the commandments of men.

We’ve traded confessions for shallow, one-page statements of faith that we still hold higher than scripture.

We’ve traded scriptural fundamentals of the faith for opinions and habits barely a century old, and that make zero sense in any other time, language, or culture than our own.

We’ve traded everything we say we believe just to prove to the world how much stuff we don’t believe in.

We’ve traded proselytes for countless two-fold children of Hell who are as unfit for the Kingdom of God as the preachers who lead them.

We’ve traded the marvelous depths of God’s amazing grace for the shallow kiddie pool of things we like.

We’ve traded scriptural humility for an incorrect assumption that this list doesn’t apply to us. Other people who disagree with me are wrong because I am the epitome of the Biblical standard.

#thecaffeinatedevangelist

#whychurch

What are the odds Gary thinks none of this applies to him?

[Antipatriarch]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

We’ve traded scriptural conversion and discipleship for a pressured altar-call decision hinging on a desire for Heaven and a fear of Hell.

Whoa whoa whoa wait... what?  

[AmazonGrace]

It sounds like the author would like people to convert because they learned about the Bible and want to serve the Jesus they found there, and not the way Gary does it: scare people with hell, bribe them with heaven, make it a huge social pressure thing for the lost to be saved... If you don't get saved NOW you may never have the chance again! And that's not all! if you call order within the next ten minutes, you can also help us put up a tent.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

The ads on Free Jinger have a shirt for Gary:

Quote

 

I'm not that

Perfect Christian

I'm the One That Knows

I Need Jesus

 

 

[Xan]

7 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Also when you're speaking to a group of people with memory loss.

I think there's a template for public speaking that goes something like 

1. tell them what you're going to tell them
2. tell them
3. tell them what you just told them

 

I had a speech class in college and the professor used this.  It honestly works for most speeches.  Let people know what you are going to talk about, tell them, and then summarize your most important points.  The professor said that we only hear about 50% of what someone is saying and retain less.  If you go over it, they have a better ability to remember.

Gary got a new hat.  I reversed the image so you can read it but we can all guess who was on his hat before you see the picture.

Spoiler

You want to know who still supports Trump?  People with the same level of reasoning skills as Gary.

Edited October 17, 2022 by Xan

[Joyster]

As much as Gary hates Helloween, I think he's been watching too many horror films...."And they are coming".  Oh wait, I was confused as to who "they" were and started thinking zombies, but now I realize it's real "tuff" times.  I guess it's the Democrats.

Gary must have been having video troubles and was testing his equipment out.  He left an inspiring video of his nekid feet three days ago.  Gary, please don't show us that again.  Only click on the spoiler if you want to experience the same shock of seeing Gary's feet that I did.  And where ever place they are at now, it's very cluttered with Gary's junk.

Spoiler

 

[Ozlsn]

18 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

5. In the discussion, you tell them what you researched and what your research said and try to find a way to make it interesting.

And also how it aligns with/pushes forward/creates a whole new paradigm in the overall body of research, and/or why your results are correct while disagreeing with theory x, y, z...

[AmazonGrace]

Getting the gospel out is harder now. 

Spoiler

Ok folks the closer we get to the coming of the LORD.  The harder it will be to get the Gospel out. So let's do it while we can. People need the LORD. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

I mean, back in the day Gary would have had to walk hundreds and thousands of miles to get across the country to preach. He would have had to write each of his tracts by hand and teach the recipient to read it. If he wanted to OK-folks someone who lives overseas he'd have had to sail for weeks or months, get a mule cart or something to get to their village, and learn their language because they'd likely not speak English. 

 But sure, it's much harder now. 

[Ozlsn]

Gary and John Shrader both like to see themselves as the bravest of brave missionary/preachers, boldly stepping out in the face of danger  apathy. Neither would survive without modern convenience, although at least Gary seems to be able to cope without an icemaker.

[Xan]

Bro Gary asked how people study the Bible and has gotten some longer and more complicated answers than he'd probably planned on having.  One guy said he just prayed over a passage.  I'm betting Gary will give than one an "Amen".

Spoiler

Also, Gary's doing a revival.  Look at the name of the church.  These are totally Gary's kind of people.  Gotta love those Indepedent Baptists!

Spoiler

 

[postscript]

2 hours ago, Xan said:

Bro Gary asked how people study the Bible and has gotten some longer and more complicated answers than he'd probably planned on having.  One guy said he just prayed over a passage.  I'm betting Gary will give than one an "Amen".

  Reveal hidden contents

Also, Gary's doing a revival.  Look at the name of the church.  These are totally Gary's kind of people.  Gotta love those Indepedent Baptists!

  Reveal hidden contents

 

I saw the misspelling while scrolling through Gary’s feed. After the initial double take, I got a good laugh out of it. These are obviously Gary’s kind of people! 

He also posted that he got to spend a few hours with his granddaughter. One can only hope he didn’t feel the need to preach to a toddler. 

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, postscript said:

He also posted that he got to spend a few hours with his granddaughter. One can only hope he didn’t feel the need to preach to a toddler. 

As bad as that would be, it would be better than what he said he was eager to do shortly after she was born - give her her first whipping. From a sermon on 9/26/21:

Spoiler

"Ah thought about it th'other day. Ah got mah first grandchild - maybe ah'll be the one - the first one to give it a whuppin', amen. Ya say 'What's Mom an' Dad gonna say about that?' Ah really don't give a flip amen. We oughtta start correctin' children early in life. Amen."

He's such a sack of shit.

Edited October 20, 2022 by thoughtful
gave up on finding the quote, then found it!

[Antipatriarch]

5 hours ago, Xan said:

Also, Gary's doing a revival.  Look at the name of the church.  These are totally Gary's kind of people.  Gotta love those Indepedent Baptists!

It's funny... I've heard "Gospel Lite" used as a perjorative (churches/pastors that don't preach the whole gospel, offenses and all, but leave some out to fit in better with the culture etc.)...

[FeministShrew]

That church is an hour away from me, but I know exactly where it is! We've driven past it when going home or going to Myrtle Beach for something (we use back roads to avoid traffic during tourist season). It's in a tiny little storefront in a strip mall. 

I'm sure Becky will be getting some sand therapy and Gary will be bitching about it. He seems to be in my general area a good bit. I'm not sure if I hope for a Gary sighting or not! 

[Black Aliss]

Maybe these would bring Gary around to accepting Trick or Treating: 

Spoiler

 

[AmazonGrace]

Normally Gary has to go out door to door looking for the lost... He should be happy as a kite that there is one day a year when the lost come to his door looking for him.

[thoughtful]

On 10/22/2022 at 3:52 PM, AmazonGrace said:

Normally Gary has to go out door to door looking for the lost... He should be happy as a kite that there is one day a year when the lost come to his door looking for him.

Really. Hey, Gary, when you go out doorknocking, how about calling out "Turn or burn!" the way the kids say "Trick or treat!"

[AmazonGrace]

Praise or blaze. God or fraud.  Lord or whored. King James or hell flames. Amen or gay men. Saved or depraved.

 

Gary, you have OPTIONS.

[Alisamer]

On 10/17/2022 at 9:25 PM, Joyster said:

And where ever place they are at now, it's very cluttered with Gary's junk.

 I always imagine Gary rolling into town looks like the Clampetts moving to Beverly HIlls in their jalopy.

On 10/22/2022 at 3:52 PM, AmazonGrace said:

Normally Gary has to go out door to door looking for the lost... He should be happy as a kite that there is one day a year when the lost come to his door looking for him.

He only has car doors, though, since he seems to be effectively homeless. Perhaps a "Trunk or Treat" would be better?

My church is doing one of those for the first time soon. I'm not a big participator in church anymore but I very well may dress up in my gothiest clothes and put on my witch hat and go hand out candy. My sister's car is highlighter green and is a hatchback, we are thinking of putting teeth dangling so it looks like the back is an open mouth, and maybe putting gigantic googly eyes on the top. 

[AmazonGrace]

That sounds like fun.

Spoiler

Gary could carve his pumpkins to look like devils that are out to get you or souls that suffer in the hell fire. But it would probably be too much like work.