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Bro Gary Hawkins 21: Let's PRIASE the Lord


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OK folks, Gary looks so much like my brother I can't unsee it. I giggle imagining what Gary would say if they met. My brother is one of those reptobates he preaches about. He would shout himself hoarse while  my brother smoked, laughed and shouted back. 

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5 hours ago, MountainMomma said:

OK folks, Gary looks so much like my brother I can't unsee it. I giggle imagining what Gary would say if they met. My brother is one of those reptobates he preaches about. He would shout himself hoarse while  my brother smoked, laughed and shouted back. 

I am liking the idea of Gary having a doppelganger who is completely unlike him on the inside. 

Have you shown a picture or video of Gary to your brother?

 

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12 hours ago, MountainMomma said:

 shout himself hoarse 

Just woke up and my eyes and brain aren’t fully aligned. I initially read that as “shit himself.” Which wouldn’t be out of character for our Bro Gary. 

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OMG, that’s too close to home! The area where I live used to have Bolivia addresses until it was annexed by another town. I live 9 miles from Bolivia’s post office. 
 

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18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I am liking the idea of Gary having a doppelganger who is completely unlike him on the inside. 

Have you shown a picture or video of Gary to your brother?

 

No, next time I visit I will. It will probably just make him mad. I am highly entertained by it though.

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On 11/24/2022 at 8:38 PM, MountainMomma said:

No, next time I visit I will. It will probably just make him mad. I am highly entertained by it though.

Aw, I don't want him hurt. Maybe if you take the slant that it is so amusing because that piece of shit, Gary, is so unlike him, he can find out he has a doppleganger without it being a bad thing.

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I keep forgetting to post - who is the person named Tracy that Pastor Daddy Danny mentioned in his mumble-athon? Does anyone know?

Various searches have brought up very little, other than one that said that a Tracy Neugent lived at their address once. But she has nobody we know of listed as a relative.

Quote

Tracy, she was at home man, an' uh, of course, uh, ah was just a little bit before Josh ah guess, or raht along that tahm, but anyway, ah'd say 'OK ah'm gohn join today, ah'm gone down' an' boy Tracy tickled t'death, chillun was rarin' t'go - "

 

 

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When last I left Gary's tent  - now, doesn't that make him sound exotic?

Spoiler

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What was I saying? Oh, yes, Daddy Danny had finally stopped his mumbling on the evening of 10/9, and Gary had rushed up with his towelbible.

Right away, Gary tells them "Ah'll tellya wha ah'm gonna stand, because ah'm gonna meet God face t'face someday. An' ah don' wanna meet Him an' ah don' want Him t'be disappointed."

Take that, Gary's relatives!

"First John chapter fahve cut that thang down just a little bit, Becky."

I guess the microphone was turned way up to try to catch Danny's mumbles.

He tells them that it's 1 John 5 over and over, then finally says "verses 14."

KJV: And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
Bro Gary Version: And this is con - an' this is  the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he. Heareth us whatsoever we ast, we know. That we have. The p- petitions that we desire. Of him.

He glides right from his post-reading prayer to another order : " . . . Lord you'd have yer will 'n' way in this service tonaht in Jesus name amen an' amen an' you may be seated cut that thing down just a little bit more, Becky."

I don't know if Becky did anything either time - Gary still sounds over-amplified and echo-y to me, and, of course, he's screaming, so I don't know how much of this I can listen to at a time.

Gary meanders around the subject of the word "if" in verse 14, then says, "If we ask anything accordin' t'His will, He heareth us. Here's th' problem t'day, gonna preach on t'naht  with th' help of th' Lord ah'm gonna preach on Why Our Prayers Ain't Bein' Answered. Why Our Prayers Ain't Bein' Answered now we're gonna read this again ah wantchu, ah'm not givin' you Gary's opinion, ah'm givin' you Bahble."

This is an old message - he goes on with familiar Garyblab about people wanting what they want, not God's will, and that's why their prayers aren't answered. Then he does his usual rant about being "in a prayerless generation," and had "better get back t'prayin'."

Contradicting himself within a minute - impressive!

Oh, wait - after a while, he goes back to saying all prayer has to be in "His will."

Notice how these cretins never seem to have any explanation of how people are supposed to know they are in God's will? They just are very sure that they are. Sometimes they spice it up a bit, with a testimony about how they weren't in God's perfect will for a day or a season at some point, but now they know they are.

"It is His weeeull because He dahd on an olll' rugged cross, He took it - He left the portalsa glory, came down here on earth, dahd, was beaten upohn, spitten upohn, mocked an' made fun of."

Captions:

Spoiler

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Malt to make fun of - Schlitz? Colt 45? Old English 800?

After screaming about how Jesus preached on Hell and prayer more than anything else, he goes on: "It's a lotta things about th' - ah mean, hey, you say 'Well preacher you just negative negative negative well ahmanna tellya if you on the King James Bahble there's about three quarters of it negative."

Word coleslaw falls out of his mouth about Carl Lackey, naming the sin and the sinner, today's preachers are weak, God has all the money,  nobody uses the altar any more, D. L. Moody (or maybe Spurgeon) stopping the middle of the road to pray because he had a "bad thought," evil electronics, yadayadayada - you know the drill.

Gary says he'd better hurry up, announces Psalms 66 over and over, then finally reads: If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me

He screams about sin for a while, then claims, at top volume, that he remembers a time when Saturday night was a time to prepare for going to church in the morning. Apparently, he has convinced himself that having fun on Saturday evening is a brand new idea.

"An' we come inta church draggin' an' we s-been sleep stayin' up half th' naht."

Captions:

Spoiler

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He screams his story about the man who told the pastor that came knocking on his door that he'd come to his church, but didn't when he saw a woman from the church dancing with a man who wasn't her husband on Saturday night. He manages to get all of the pronouns and relationships right this time, unlike other times he's attempted that one.

After lots more screaming about sin, Gary shrieks that, when they get to heaven, "God'll say, 'Ah toldya so.'"

Spoiler

God neener neener

Gary's mental image of God - an interpretation.

He reads the passage from Matthew about hypocrites who give alms for show, and preach on street corners - an amazingly un-self-aware moment:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A1-6&version=KJV

KJV: Take heed that ye do not your alms before men
BGV: Take heed that ye do not yourself arms. Before men

The four other times the word "alms" comes up, I can understand that Gary is saying "alms," but the captions stick with "arms."

KJV and BGV: Verily I say unto you, They have their reward
Captions:

Spoiler

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There's that evil TV again!

"How 'bout this? Show-offs."

Gary spends some time mocking people who go on for too long when asked to pray in a service or before a meal. Praying should be done in prayer closets, in secret, according to Gary. I guess, in his mind (and it does seem to line up with the tradition in a lot of the churches he visits), public prayers are very brief and undramatic, unlike the preaching.

While ranting on (and on and on) about show-offs and people who want to be seen (wait - I need to put another irony meter in the recycling - OK, I'm back), Gary, with his usual multicultural sensitivity, uses an expression I haven't heard in years: "We gotta - sure do got a lot - a whole lotta chiefs, we ain't got many Indians."
Captions:

Spoiler

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After more screaming about how he hates show-offs, Gary asks them to go to Matthew 17. I'll meet you there later, if my ears have recovered.

Edited by thoughtful
Satan hid the riffles until after I posted
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Spoiler

Right away, Gary tells them "Ah'll tellya wha ah'm gonna stand, because ah'm gonna meet God face t'face someday. An' ah don' wanna meet Him an' ah don' want Him t'be disappointed."

If God is omniscient and unerring and knows everything that has happened and everything that will ever happen, how can he be disappointed? Is God going to sit there and be baffled: "Hey I had high hopes for that AmazonGrace, I really thought she was going to amount to something, but I guess I was wrong. First time for everything huh? Cheers guys!"

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Being startled by my computer mysteriously auto-playing Kitty Cat Jill (twice!) reminded me of that other horrible shrieking sound - Gary. So I'm here to finish the 10/9 message.

Gary misreads the mustard seed verse:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+17%3A20&version=KJV

Familiar crap follows, scorning people who don't believe God can do anything.

At one point, he says, "Ah know some preachers tonaht that outpreach me, underpreach me, whatever you wanna call it, do a whole lot better'n ah am an' that's OK, honey, but amanna tellya ah'm not sure how mucha th'powera God they got."

Captions:

Spoiler

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He shrieks even louder, saying he's not sure "God's within ten milesa somma that stuff,"  and how, if you have iniquity in your heart and act like "the worl', He's not gonna answer your prayerssssssss."

While yelling about not bowing down to the world, Gary says he's going to be like Shadrach Meshach and Abednego.

Captions:

Spoiler

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He screams about them for a while, then interrupts himself in mid-sentence to switch to "what about Daniel? Daniel was told hey, sign a piece of - the big man signed a piece-a paper, hey, Joe Bahden's tryin' t'do the same things amen! Obama whatever you wanna say, gittin' us t'close churches down, tryin' t'get prayer taken - ah mean hey, some people say they want prayer back in th'public schools ah'm just gonna go ahead and letcha know ah'm not sure ah want prayer backinna public schools because when you got some Muslim teachin' yer chil'ren ah'm gonna tellya they're not gonna be prayin' to the child - uh - the godda the universe they're gonna be prayin' t'some god that's in hell!"

That was all one breathless rant, but I want to go back for some of the caption goodies.  I think you can figure out where these happened:

Spoiler

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And he gets back to Daniel, screaming about him praying with his windows open, then off on a rant about how things have changed since he was traveling with "all sevena mah chil'ren."

"Some people say" (stupid person voice) "'Well ah just don't want mah chil'ren t'see things like 'at in church, they get too excited.' Ah'd rather them see it at church than sit at home playin' - watchin' their little ball games. Ah remember Grandma talkin' about the story whenever she there was a black an' white television she said th'people started watchin' her insteada th' television she was tryin'a fight with a wrestle with 'em."

I don't know if I'd understand that if I hadn't heard Gary tell it before, and tell it better. His grandmother used to watch wrestling, and get so involved that she was more entertaining to watch than the wrestlers.

After another wave of incredibly harsh shrieking about how "God can," he tells them they have to get in touch with God, asks if he's making sense, and reads (with errors, of course):

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+26%3A40-41&version=KJV

He blabs about how much time people should spend praying. He says he once set a timer for an hour. "An' you know what, when the clock went off, ah just got started."

People say there's not much to pray for. Gary screams to the contrary. "Honey d'ya not see what's goin' ohn with our chil'ren they goin' down t'the public schools, they enable 'em with the worl' stuff an' they lah to 'em, listen hey ah twice rather mah chil'ren t'be tau - taught they was comin' to a from a monkey than to be changed from a girl to a boy!"

So, it seems Gary is so convinced that the only thing going on in public schools is trying to get all of the kids to be transgender, that he'd rather have his kids learn evolution.

I think.

He lets out another bizarrely loud rant about giving up lots of things (including "a little work") to pray more, because your family is going to hell.

His train of thought wanders through busy families, sports being scheduled on Wednesdays and Sundays, "we got churches across the country, me an' mah four an no more," (this is a reference to people who only pray for those close to them - I had to look that one up!), pray for the country, Biden is not the problem, it's "so-called people-a God that have quit prayin'," even if Trump gets back in, it'll take prayer to change things, cell phones have "keeled our people," because they "tooken prayer out the house."

He screeches about prayer for a while more, then misreads:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+22%3A42-43&version=KJV

Gary loses his momentum for a while, then ruminates on God's will. He says that, after getting saved, you have to "go do something. See people think they git saved an' this is all it is 'hey, ah'm saved!' Now listen hey if that's what God wanted was all he was gonna do is save you, here's what would happen; you'd git saved an' then pum - yer gone. That's how simple it'd be - you wouldn't be here!"

Well, this is a new slant; if God only wanted to people to get "saved" and believe, they would die and go to heaven immediately after. After you're saved, you have to go do things.

But it's not "works," because reasons. Gary, of course, means that you have to go try to "save" others, and pray for them. Oh, and stay in the will of God, even if it's inconvenient.

That leads him to a Job rant, then he tells them to go to James 3, "verses 13." I don't remember if I've ever heard Gary read this one before - let's see how he does.

KJV: Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
BGV: Who is wahhhs - who is a wahhs man and endureth with knowledge. Among you let him shew out of the good conversation his works with meekness. Of wisdom but if ye have bitterness envy an' strife in your heart, glory not, and lah not against. Tha truth this wisdom descendeth not from th'above, but is earthly sensual dilevilish. For where envy and strife is, there is confusion and every evil works.

Dilevilish. Must remember that Garyism for future use.

Gary talks about envy for a while. When he says he'd rather be able to move around and do things for himself than have most things people want, I know he's going to talk about Mike Stout, and sure enough, he tells them about the parts Mike is missing at this point, and how he has to be moved with a Hoyer lift. Then, back to envy.

"We got a lotta envious. Now ah'm gonna tellya what's happened in the last two years now well actually go ahead an' ah guess y'could say three years now. It's money hongry worlds. Yeah, y'know what most people spent their uh stim'lis checks ohn an' now they say 'Well, we don't haveta pay these things back' well maybe y'can go to th'gas station maybe y'can go to the grocery store. Fahnd out hey envy!"

:confusion-shrug:

Envy leads him to pride - "Didju know God hates a prahdful person?"

"Heymen ah think y'oughta look raht on the insahd on the outsahd."

He screams about envy a bit more, then reads James 4:3 - Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

While telling them that their prayers might not be answered because of the way they ask, Gary drops this bit of wisdom, "People say, 'Well, ah wohn', ah wohnt mah chil'ren to have it better than mah chil'ren did.'"

Ooh, he talked about the college! "Ah'm fixin t' - ah'm part of a college. An' the only reason ah'ma parta that college is is beause ya don't have to leave your place of service, an' you don't use nothin'  but the King James Bahble for the text. See ah think it's biblically correct to train 'em at home."

And he does his nasty anti-college routine. He scorns people who send their kids off to college to find a spouse. Gary says the best way to find someone is to "go out there knockin' ohn doors, git one 'em saved, then you kin disciple 'em God's way. Because ah'm gonna be honest w'ya, ah'm glad ah ain't doin' it. I ain't gotta date, an' look for women, an' ah'm a little bit nervous 'bout marryin' someone from churches anymore. They look lahk the worl',  they ack lahk the worl', they talk lahk the worl', they smell lahk the worl', an' as Daddy said a whahl ago, they go down in th'ditch an' git 'em an' think they're gonna change let me tellya somethin' you kin go down th'ditch an' git 'em butchu ain't comin' out."

Captions:

Spoiler

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And he's back to screeching, and does his bit about Paul not going to beer joints.

He announces John 9:31, and only reads this much:  Now we know that God heareth not sinners:

Maybe God is not answering your prayers because "you just ain't saved."

As he once again tells the story of his salvation, he says that the pastor was Larry Crouch. Gary doesn't usually include his name in the story. Maybe he did this time because he's preaching to family, many of whom must have known Larry.

He does his routine about there being no such thing as a sinner's prayer, nobody else can tell you you're saved (but Gary has told people they "wadn't," 'cause he's "got the guts t'do it"), and how he won't preach at his children's funerals if they don't live right.

"Ah remember down there ah can't remember the name of the church but down there in Stoneville ah went down there one naht th'gah said 'You need t'help me pray, ah'm gonna do a 90-year-old funeral for a black man' he said 'Ah've asked all the family about church an' about his soul an' they only remember in one tahm in 90-some years only remember him goin' t'church one tahm.'"

As Gary is wrapping up with his "do you know you're saved" routine, the captions have some trouble with the blood of Jesus on the old rugged cross:

Spoiler

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During the last half hour or so of Gary's message, I've heard some giggling, a cell phone ringing, and, I'm pretty sure, a kitten meowing. Gary has actually not gotten too distracted by all of that, and didn't even shame whoever it was. But he has lost his momentum a few times, and he seems tired and distracted now.

After winding down with exhortations to get saved and reviewing the idea that God might not be answering your prayers because you're doing it wrong, he finally ends:

"Becky come t'the altar ah mean come yeah come t'the altar an' git saved ________ (? sounds like "to be") come t'the piano."

The captions seem to think the part I couldn't understand was the name of someone Gary thinks should get saved:

Spoiler

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image.thumb.png.84d137194216345760bbe33c4dfb4c6c.png

 

Edited by thoughtful
riffle
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I'm a little heartened that Gary called the crowd "Honey" a couple of times and even mentioned evolution but he's set the bar so low that anything looks better than his usual meanness.  And he thinks he has "the power of God" behind him?  Wouldn't that go under the heading of being prideful?  

30 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

They look lahk the worl',  they ack lahk the worl', they talk lahk the worl', they smell lahk the worl', an' as Daddy said a whahl ago, they go down in th'ditch an' git 'em an' think they're gonna change let me tellya somethin' you kin go down th'ditch an' git 'em butchu ain't comin' out."

There Gary goes with the smell stuff again.  He really must have a sensitive nose.  I'm not sure how one would smell like the world.  Does that mean that Gary thinks he smells like the Bible?  Is there a scent that has the aroma of the King James Bible?

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44 minutes ago, Xan said:

I'm a little heartened that Gary called the crowd "Honey" a couple of times and even mentioned evolution but he's set the bar so low that anything looks better than his usual meanness.

Oh, believe me, his "honey" is full of venom.

44 minutes ago, Xan said:

Is there a scent that has the aroma of the King James Bible?

Frankincense? Burning sulfur?

 

Edited by thoughtful
riffle
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Gary, what do you care about public schools? You’ve never set foot in one (as your abysmal education proves), and your kids never set foot in one either. And potentially praying to a god who’s going to hell? That implies that there are other gods, contrary to the teachings of Christianity, Judaism and Islam. It also implies the teacher would choose the deity to pray to. Hey, kids! Let’s pray to Mithras today! Tomorrow we get to pray to Baal! 

The best way to find a spouse is to go door knocking, convert the prospective spouse and then mold them? Is Gary secretly into dom/submissive role play? Because that’s what it sounds like. He’s getting more and more paranoid if he thinks you can’t find a “safe” spouse at church or Bible college. It’s a wonder he ever found one spouse, let alone two. 

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10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Frankincense? Burning sulfur?

 

A scent of the King James Bible? Hmmm. Let me check my fave perfumer...

Cathedral is too Catholic, I suppose. Penitance probably is as well. Gluttony might suit Gary, though. And there is Brimstone

Ah, here! The BookOld, yellowed parchment paper, tattered leather bindings. I knew they'd have something. (Links are to the shop description of each scent.)

Edited by Alisamer
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At one point, he says, "Ah know some preachers tonaht that outpreach me, underpreach me, whatever you wanna call it, do a whole lot better'n ah am an' that's OK, honey, but amanna tellya ah'm not sure how mucha th'powera God they got."

Man his ego is so fragile... Gary's ramblings set the bar so low I would bet that most preachers get their message across better. But anyone who does anything better than Gary is the devil's spawn.

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19 hours ago, thoughtful said:

They look lahk the worl',  they ack lahk the worl', they talk lahk the worl', they smell lahk the worl',

I read that as "wolf" initially and have had Duran Duran in my head ever since... Gary's hungry lahk the worl'? 

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8 hours ago, postscript said:

Gary, what do you care about public schools? You’ve never set foot in one

IIRC, I think he did do a few years in public school, before (or after?) his parents put him in a Christian school. But I could be remembering wrong.

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21 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Being startled by my computer mysteriously auto-playing Kitty Cat Jill (twice!) reminded me of that other horrible shrieking sound - Gary. So I'm here to finish the 10/9 message.

Sounds like you have a demon in your computer

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56 minutes ago, Dana723 said:

Sounds like you have a demon in your computer

It's being dilevilish!

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On 11/30/2022 at 7:38 PM, Xan said:

There Gary goes with the smell stuff again.  He really must have a sensitive nose.  I'm not sure how one would smell like the world.  Does that mean that Gary thinks he smells like the Bible?  Is there a scent that has the aroma of the King James Bible?

I believe it's the stench of sanctimony.

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Gary is still not on Facebook, and there are no new YouTube videos from the past month or so.

I think I'll tackle the 10/10 rant. This was the Monday evening of the tent revival they did at his parents' property. The video begins with Gary just finishing the first reading:

" . . .bah th'same rule, let uh - an' let - let us bah mahnd. The same things."

A search brings up Philippians 3:16, so I guess that's what he was trying to read:

Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.

I don't know where he started his reading, but here is 13-16:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+3%3A13-16&version=KJV

After his prayer, he makes reference to verse 14, then 15, then 13, misreading them. and finally finding the thing he was looking for, in 13.

KJV: Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before
BGV: Brethren, I count not. Myself apprehended: but this one thing I do, forget those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which. Are before us.

"Here's what we be t' - here's what we need - this thing's gotta little ring back on it Becky here's what we need t'be doin' t'naht. We need t'be reachin' towards the mark or you know what? This is - this life is not goin' to be here ah'm not goin' to be here ah'm just wonna th'sayin's go to th' song said ah'm just a pilgrim passin' through ah ain't gonna be here much longer. But with the help of the Lord tonaht ah wanna preach ohn - What's Yer Goals. What is Yer Goals you know what ah'm gonna tellya something you're a pasture you're an evangelist you uh uh a preacher whatever you are, ah'm gonna tellya ya oughta have some goals."

Captions:

Spoiler

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I assume that Becky fixed the "ring back" (feedback from the sound system) while Gary was zooming through all of that.

While Gary's blabbing on about goals, he yells about closing churches, wicked contemporary churches, and "the worl' is gittin' churchy and the church is gittin' worl'y."

Captions:

Spoiler

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Well, she could outpreach Gary, because, as we all know, she's proud to be loud!

 

He screams about people not dressing the way he thinks they should, Halloween, how busy he was in 2020-21, falling into a rhythmic preacher chant for some of it.

"Ah've got some goals. There ought t'be some standards in them goals."

Captions:

Spoiler

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More of his usual about preachers not preaching on sin, smartphones have "keeled" America, Carl Lakcey. In fact, he tells a story about Lackey, at breakneck speed:

"But ah remember Brother Lackey one tahm talkin' 'bout this, an' this had t'be quite a few years ago even - because he's been dead what, about 30 years now? Somethin' lahk that an' ah remember him stayin' in a motel one tahm an' he heard people talkin' about uh - an' ah don't know wha ah'm sayin' this but God wants me to ah'm gonna listen t'God amen ah don't listen to man ah listen t'God - He does pretty good. You do where - whatever you wanna do with it, amen? Ah'm not ah'm not used t'preachin' a big crowds ah lahk small crowds it works out pretty good. But ah heard Brother Lackey:

Captions:

Spoiler

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"tellin' they said 'Oh the television is jus' so good, it's jus' got so much good stuff on it,' an' he an' he looked an' he said, he said 'You know what?  Ah turned it ohn,' an' this has been 30 or 40 or 50 years ago, an' here's what he said, he said, 'Ah seen sex, ah seen violence, ah seen wickedness!'"

Captions:

Spoiler

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"This was 50 years ago - now what's on television?"

After some more tried-and-untrue ranting about "nekkidness,"  Gary wonders how we smell to God, misquoting the "sweet smelling savor" quote, as usual, as "sweet smelling savior."

Then back to talking about goals. Except the captions and I agree, this time he says "A gold. What is a gold? A gold is somethin' you say you know what we have people that we have people that  have golds you know what they set goals for diff'rent things like if they go get a job they set a gold an' that way they can move forward they can move to the top they can go ohn an' git up there an' there's nothin' wrong with it, long as ya don't take ya away from God."

Something about his mother's illness slips into a rant about the government giving away money, but I don't know why: "Ah mean they just get these checks, an' they get these checks, an' th'gov'ment's givin' 'em checks ah mean ah go to restaurants an' ah go these places ah was on mah way t'uh - Virginia whenever ah found out about Mama an' ah stopped a coupla different tahms. If it wadn't fer mah stops, ah'da  got t'Virginia pretty quick, but ah go t'these places an' it would take a long tahm because they cain't fahnd help anymore."

While screaming about people who claim to be Christians, but he can tell they're not, by their looks and actions, he returns to his buddy, Job, saying "I believe we could prob'ly say Job was a Christian."

Ah, there's that magically cyclical chronology again. 

He says he needs to hurry up, and to go Luke chapter 10 real quick-like, because I Love Lucy's fixin' to come on.

Maybe Gary and Jesus go traveling through time together, and that's why he can't keep track of chronology, or what decade we're in.

Spoiler

Jesus Tardis

 

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I don't get it.  I know that Gary has yelled about Facebook and phones but he does depend on social media to some extent.  Was he getting peeved at the obviously foreign Facebook members asking to be his friend?  Did he realize that people on the internet are making fun of him?  Don't get me wrong.  I could be happy with never hearing him preach again but it is bothersome to know that he's still out there verbally abusing congregations and we aren't able to laugh at him.

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10 hours ago, Xan said:

I don't get it.  I know that Gary has yelled about Facebook and phones but he does depend on social media to some extent. 

I still think it wasn't voluntary, but I don't know how to tell. The Hawkins Family Ministries Facebook account is still there, but hasn't been used in a while:

https://www.facebook.com/hawkinsfamilyministries

And Becky's just been posting, infrequently, about Tupperware.

https://www.facebook.com/Becky1976

:confusion-shrug:

 

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Isn't there anything on TV these days that he objects to more than I Love Lucy?

I've only ever seen some clips but it wouldn't be the first show that comes to mind when I think of  wickedness, nekkidness and Satan's minions

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