Bro Gary Hawkins 18: Bro In My State...State of the Bro

[thoughtful]

On to vacation bible school, Heritage Baptist in Groton NY, September 1. That was the night that Hurricane Ida made it to New York state. It doesn't seem like they got much impact from it, though - Groton is pretty far northwest, near Buffalo and Rochester.

As the video opens, Jacob and another boy, wearing Groucho glasses and signs that are, I think, supposed to represent racers' numbers, are being asked about running marathons. Jim says something about "Ahmeeaz. Later, he says "Enneaz. Assuming he's probably still in the book of Samuel, with David, battling Philistines, I figure out that it's Ahimaaz.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+samuel+18&version=KJV

Jim says something about Ahimaaz, that ends with "very good," and applauds, still facing the two boys. Then he turns toward the audience, stops clapping, looks at them with a "WTF is wrong with you" expression, and they realize they should clap. I'm not sure whether that's shtick or what, or if the applause is supposed to be for Ahimaaz or the two boys.

Spoiler

 

   

He tries to start talking again while they are still applauding. There's some mumbling I miss, but we find out that Ahimaaz, with various pronunciations, was very loyal to King David, and he kept on running even when he got tired.

BTW, if anyone is interested in the actual Hebrew pronunciation, it's Ah-khee-MAH-ahtz - אחימעץ. I'm guessing about the stressed syllable. But, of course, the KJV wouldn't make it clear that the first consonant is the throat-clearing one, not an H. Not sure why they represent the "tz" with just a z. Ask Mozart - he had the same problem. So Jim is only partly to blame - some of it is the KJV, and the determination of the KJV-only types to ignore the original languages in which parts of the Bible were written.

Jacob's nose falls off, and Jim says "I don't want to be nosey, but . . . "

Big laugh.

His way to get them to run off this time is to tell them there was a big race in another room. One of them drops his Groucho nose, and Jim points it out, then says "I only know one nose joke, and I just  used it."

While he moves a lectern, and Becky and the clown lady walk in front of him, trying to do something with some of the little kids, we hear kids getting distracted and loud. Jim tries to get attention by saying "Willya look at me? The ones that look at me the most I may give you a gift of one of my ears."

Ew.

Oh, wait - he said "hairs."

Still, ew.

He jokes about how that wouldn't be a sacrifice for the pastor, but it would for him (Jim is balding, you see).

The camera falls sideways, and, for a moment, we see:

Spoiler

Whoever she is, she's funnier and more charming, in that split second, than any of Missionary Jim's jokes.

He tells them they have to sit up straight and listen. The kids get quiet, and he tells them solemnly and gently that he wants to teach them how to pronounce a name, and it's important. He says that, when he goes to other countries, the most important thing to pronounce is a person's name, and you show honor to a person when you call them by name properly.

And yes, the name he wants to carefully teach them is Ahimaaz. I raise my right hand and swear to you I had not listened ahead when I mentioned the pronunciation issues. Interestingly, he is getting closer - now he is saying "Ah-HIM-ee-az."

So he teaches them to say "Ah-HIM-ee-az."

He tells the story of the watchman catching sight of the runners, one of whom was from "Ethiopia, Africa." Ahimaaz got tired, but he was determined, and kept going.

Tonight's big idea is "Determination - is working daily - to do what's important in my life."

He says it once, then expects them to say it with him. That would be obnoxious enough, but he also says, "Determination is - say it - determination is - doing daily  those things what are important in my life," then says it the way he said it the first time, twice, fast.

He calls on Gary to say it, and Gary says, "Determination is t'do what ah'm s'posed t'do every day."

Not bad, for Gary, and with such a shitty teacher.

The important things to do each day, the spiritual priorities, are praying, reading the Bible, being "faithful to God's house," giving out tracts, and inviting people to church.

He explains that the message Ahimaaz was bringing to David was of the death of Absalom, who was a bad son. He was exiled, allowed back, and was still disobedient, like when they won't sit up straight or stop talking when someone is trying to teach them about Jesus.

Um, there's an interesting comparison.

He explains that Absalom had very long hair that he was proud of, and that Absalom wanted his father's job, being King. He promised people "entitlements - that's enough to get some Americans into trouble."

Gary laughs.

Jim describes David's giving up the throne, Absalom's hair getting caught in a tree, and Joab and his men coming to kill Absalom. He has some kids play a few of the parts. The kid playing Absalom clowns a bit, and tilts his head sideways, pretending to be dead.

Jim says to the audience, "It's sad. Look at me. It's sad. A good boy who went bad, broke his daddy's heart."

Among reminders to listen, he gets back to Ahimaaz and the "African man from Ethiopia" arriving to tell David the sad news. But Ahimaaz just told David they'd won the battle.  Then "the African man" came up behind him and told him Absalom was dead.

He goes into quiet, sincere, guilt-slathering mode.

"Now listen to me, young people - two lessons tonight. And then I'm gonna pray, 'cause I don't want to run over and parents have to worry. The first lesson that you have to learn is when you disobey your parents, that love you with all their hearts, you're gonna destroy their hearts." Longish silence. "When you diso -" CLAPCLAPCLAP "look at me - when you disobey. We're talkin' about a ______ (?)."

"The second thing I want you to learn - I want you to learn the determination of this man. He would not quit - he did it for free because he loved the king! Tonight, young people, I see all the time, even children, teenagers and even adults, the first time something gets hard, whatta they do, Pastor? "
Pastor Stout: "I quit."
Missionary Jim: "I quit. I quit. I give up. It's not worth it any more. Tonight I want you to learn, if you're gonna become a mighty man for God, and if you ______ (?) and if you want to become one of the saints, strong in the Lord, in the power of His might, you must have determination. If you want to be like David's Mighty Men, those 37 or 30 I think that were there at one time, you've got to have determination."

"I want you to say this with me and then I'm just gonna pray. Here's what I wantya t'say: A quitter never wins. Say that."

Finally, he found one they can memorize in one try! After they repeat it a few times, he adds.

"But, a winner never quits."

He prays: "Father, thank you for this night. Lord I pray that you would help us to honor our parents and honor our authorities."

He prays for all of the adults there that teach the children and drive them to church, then goes on.

"God help us tonight to say 'I'm going to be determined to be a good student, I'm going to be determined to get up and read my Bible, I'm going to be determined to get up and pray, I'm going to be determined to invite somebody to church this coming Sunday, or maybe even tomorrow night and Friday night, and I'm going to work hard and be determined to get Mom and Dad to come on Friday night for our program, I'm going to be determined to be a sweet, obedient child. And God, tonight I pray that you would give us intestinal fortitude, which, for the children, just simply means the ability to be determined and not to be a quitter, because God, you did not quit on us, and he never will. and ______________ mumble mumble mumble amen."

How I detest their priorities. I wonder if even the "good student" means obedient and no trouble to him, and nothing about learning (other than church stuff, of course).

How about wanting the kids to be determined to do things like learning facts, skills and how to think, being themselves and enjoying who they are, being honest, helping others - why am I telling all of you - you know what my list would be.

I hope I have the intestinal fortitude (or intestinal five-titude, as Victor Borge would have said) to watch another one of these.

[thoughtful]

Gary, Gary, Gary - we've been all through this before.

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[AmazonGrace]

Oh honeys, y'all can turn off your phone notifications.

I thought Jesus said you're not supposed to pray in the street corner so you can look pious to others. But you should read a big Bible in public so people can be impressed by the size of your... book.

 

 

[postscript]

So your phone isn’t good enough because no one will realize you’re reading a Bible? Oh, come on, Gary. How often do you whip out your Bible in Walmarts to get a quick refresher on Romans? When you do, how often do people actually ask what you’re doing? 

“Plus lots of other reasons” - we’re waiting, Gary. You’ve got all the time in the world. Go ahead and elucidate. This might make a better sermon than the retreads we’ve been getting recently. 

The argument that it’s not the same as a physical book resonates better with me. I love the feel and smell of books. I love the convenience of carrying a full library in my pocket, but Kindle lacks the tactile element. However, having your scripture with you at all times seems like it would be a comfort. 

[smittykins]

The school from which I graduated(a small rural district with all grades in one building)used to allow the Gideons to hand out New Testaments to fifth(?)graders, but I don’t know if that’s still the case.

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I thought Jesus said you're not supposed to pray in the street corner so you can look pious to others.

Yeah, I think that was Jonathan Melton's point to Gary. Of course, Gary won't let it sink in, if he even understands it.

BTW, Gary has not only moaned on about this in person and on Facebook, he's used this exact image before - I don't remember whether it was crossposted from the same person or not.

4 hours ago, postscript said:

Oh, come on, Gary. How often do you whip out your Bible in Walmarts to get a quick refresher on Romans? When you do, how often do people actually ask what you’re doing? 

It actually sounds like something he might do. Of course, that would be if he was in the mood to go in to Walmart, rather than just sending Becky in and waiting in the car. And Jacob would have to carry that big heavy Bible in the towel that they gave him as a gift in the hope that large print would magically improve his reading ability, and that he bitches about.

He could pop it in the toddler seat of a cart, and walk around reading aloud and HAYMENning and saying "our country's in a mess," while Jacob and Becky, as usual, did all of the work.

Further argument under Jonathan Bond's (Bond. Jonathan Bond. Cue music) comment. Valerie/Victoria/Whatsername used her phone Bible during Gary's visit (no doubt the reason he knew she wasn't saved), then had a really neat experience with a real Bible, and Gary is not to be a show off man watch up:

Spoiler

 

 

New comments under the main post. Most of the "it must be a book" arguers are total idiots, although none are as dippy as Gary. Gary is in hog heaven - wait, a hog is too mature - it's more like piglet-having-a-tantrum heaven.

Valerie checks in again. Oh, and Rhonda, you might be reading a Bible printed on the same press as pornography right now!

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Edited September 7, 2021 by thoughtful
fixing spoiler

[thoughtful]

The squealing piglet created a whole new post, just to say this:

I couldn't decide on a gif - pick one you like (I sort of enjoy thinking of the entire page of thumbnails being Gary):

https://giphy.com/explore/toddler-tantrum

[postscript]

Talk about angels dancing on the head of a pin! Interesting that most of the commenters are in favor of using Bible apps. Even the ones who say they prefer a physical book won’t judge others who read their Bible on a phone. Furthermore, they give relatively reasoned responses as to why they are comfortable with the Bible on a phone. 

Gary, on the other hand, demands to know where in the KJV it says phone usage is OK.  Even with Gary’s doubtless shaky grasp of history, he ought to recognize that a book published when printing was relatively new and containing text written when papyrus and scrolls were the hot technology isn’t going to cover modern inventions. By his argument, he should be traveling from place to place by mule, not his assortment of vans and trucks (though a mule might be more reliable).

He also tells people they can defriend him, his usual response when his beliefs are attacked, but then says that might be hard for some people because they need to keep up with him. The man’s ego knows no bounds. I wonder if he considers himself a celebrity in church circles because of his “evangelist” status. 

That said, his tantrums are always fun to watch.

[thoughtful]

Rhonda, what?

Also, Pastor Perri Roberts, you are the one not understanding Gary. He's not that deep, dude. Also, he uses his cell phone while driving all the time. He just wants to pick a fight and get attention.

Spoiler

 

[Xan]

It just feels like a case of Gary finding some way that he thinks he's better than other people.  He uses a printed Bible!  This makes him holier and more like the old timey preachers than he worships.  The fact that he's making this argument on Facebook is totally lost on him.  Sure, he preaches through his phone and posts verses on his phone but he doesn't read Bible chapters on his phone.  That would be blasphemy!  Er... except when he's preaching, he reads Bible verses that are recorded on his phone.

All of his commenters are nicer than I would have been.  I keep hoping that someone just says, "This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen you post, Gary."  Then again, this is the same Gary that posted disgusting pics of red weens and gravy and occasionally lectured us while lounging in a recliner.  Dumb for Gary is a feature and not a bug.

[AmazonGrace]

Well I don't know Perri, I think reading the Bible while driving might also be kind of dangerous.

[Dana723]

"Gee," thinks Gary.  Well, as much as Gary can think anyway.  "I haven't had an argument on Facebook in a while but people keep pointing out that I'm wrong and I'm not wrong, am I?  I best find something that can be argued with easily and that no one can find anything in the Bible about to prove I'm wrong."

[Joyster]

It was a stressful day, and reading the absurd arguments against reading the Bible (KJV) on the phone was the one of the best parts of my day.  The one pro comment that caught my eye:

If there's one thing I learned from reading @thoughtful's delightful summaries, it is that Bro Gary would NEVER use a dictionary.  I'm not sure he knows what a dictionary is--he probably thinks it is a device liberals use to lure people to Satan.  Michael Canter, your argument makes too much sense for Gary to understand.  Gary doesn't even use context clues to figure out what words mean, unless you count the context of his brain, which appears to be stuck in the Dark Ages.

I fought reading an electronic book for a long time, and when my partner gave me a Kindle one Christmas, I was not that thrilled.  Once I started using my Kindle, I loved it.  The dictionary feature is one of my favorite parts.  I like having the pronunciations and a concise definitions for words I think I know but am uncertain about the meaning. 

Edited September 8, 2021 by Joyster
added word

[thoughtful]

Valerie is still in Gary's corner, and Jesus didn't mean cellar phones.

Spoiler

Back to circus-themed vacation bible school in Groton NY, September 2.

When the video starts, Jacob and a younger boy are talking about being a boxer and his coach. The other kid is shadow boxing and wearing boxing gloves. I'll spare you the stupid boxing jokes, including one in which Jim claims his wife hits him. Gary laughs the loudest.

He gets the boys to run off by saying the match is starting in the next room. A girl pops up from behind one of the props and they do a bit about her being chased - might have been the victim of the drive-by avocado toast from the other night, but I can't tell, and can't hear the details of this bit.

Jim peeks behind a partition, acts scared and says "Oh, no - you'll never believe who's back there."

Spoiler

 

Cue Dana Carvey.

 

Gary comes up to the front, and goes behind the partition. Gee, I wonder who is going to play the part of the devil?

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Jim says, "This guy is so mean. And he hates us. And this guy - he wants to hurt our lives. Know who it is? It is the dirty, old, stinkin' devil."

Cue Gary!

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Jim makes sure they know that, even though tonight they are using Evangelist Hawkins to play the part, there is a real devil.

Tonight's Big Idea, that he wants them to echo, is "I can defeat the devil by saying 'yes' to God, and 'no' to the devil. I'll say it one more time: I can defeat that dirty old devil by saying 'yes' to God - and saying 'no' to the devil. So let's say it together, three times.

Which one, you piss-poor pedagogical peabrain? (uh-oh - he's making me Shrader)

Maybe purposely saying it differently, when it seems he's going for rote memorization, is some sort of technique someone taught him. I'd say it was an attempt at having them understand a concept, with permission to put it in their own words, if it weren't for his asking for an echo. He never says "What's another way to say that?" or "Can you put that in your own words?" But he always changes what he says, usually right before or after he has asked the kids to repeat something.

As he says it with the kids, he changes it again: "I can - defeat the devil byyyyyy -  saying 'yes' to God, and say it loud! 'NO' to the old devil. Again. I can defeat the devil by saying 'YES' to God, ___ (?) ya ready?" He gestures to Gary. "'NO' to the devil. I can - defeat the devil by saying 'yes' to God, and" He points to Gary - "Let's get 'im! And saying what?" The kids scream "NO."

During all of this, Gary rocks uncomfortably and fidgets, looking for all the world like a kindergarten kid who needs to pee. But with a silly hat on.

Jim says that Samson, who they discussed earlier in the week, was weak because he listened to  the devil. He coaches them to call Gary "The dirty old devil" a couple of times.

Missionary Jim: "I don't trust him."
Kid in audience: "I do!"

Jim says he's going to tell them what he really thinks of the devil - "I got this from a man name of Billy Sunday, who used to preach."

The rest of this recap will be typed with Chicago (That Toddlin' Town) running through my head.

Jim, growling and lunging at Gary, misquotes Billy Sunday. I'll spare you Jim's version, but I will tell you that it has a CLAPCLAPCLAP "look at me!" in the middle, and he says it's about the devil.

Here's the original (well, sort of - I've found various versions of the quote online):

Quote

I'm against sin. I'll kick it as long as I've got a foot, and I'll fight it as long as I've got a fist. I'll butt it as long as I've got a head. I'll bite it as long as I've got a tooth. And when I'm old and fistless and footless and toothless, I'll gum it till I go home to Glory and it goes home to perdition!

Here's video with Sunday doing a version of it:

Spoiler

 

It was adapted for Elmer Gantry (I can't remember if it's in the book, but it's in the film):

Spoiler

 

Jim teaches them about 1 Peter 5:8:

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

He gestures to Gary to go wander about, seeking who he should devour, while Jim tells them about being with wild lions in Africa again. Gary sashays harmlessly down the aisle, then back to the front, like a model showing off the spring line:

Spoiler

 

Jim pretends to pounce like a lion. Or the devil. It's not clear. He seems more dangerous than Gary.

I think a more appropriate narration of Gary's little stroll would be something like what Hermine Sterler (in the pearls) gives us here:

Spoiler

 

Jim tells them that, when they talk or move around when someone is teaching them about Jesus, the devil uses that  - maybe the person next to you won't be able to hear, and make their decision to go to Heaven. And, if you get saved, the devil wants to make sure you don't live for God.

Or some such bullshit.

Gary is back to standing, rocking and fidgeting again. Jim sends him down the aisle once more, and this time, he keeps going past the camera.

Spoiler

 Jim has the kids repeat "I have an enemy," and reminds them that it's "the dirty old devil."

Gary wanders to the front again, while Jim tells them about James 4:7:

 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Gary creeps up behind Jim, and Jim says that he's a temptation that Jim needs to resist. He knows the devil's near him because he can feel the temptation, and the devil's evil power. As he walks forward, Gary moves with him. They move to one side, then the other, over and over. Then, Jim says "the devil has me in his arms." Here is a small taste of their dance:

Spoiler

 

Why do I hear Bill Murray's voice in my head?

Jim says that the devil is trying to get him to "cuss at my parents or say something bad to my teacher or disobey or hit somebody or pull somebody's hair."

Here is something to cleanse your eyes - Fred's character has hypnotized Ginger's character. This is how it's done, guys:

Spoiler

 

Finally, Jim says, that, if he submits himself to God, the devil will flee. Gary starts to lumber slowly down the aisle, and Jim says "Ya gotta run, Brother, I know that's a little _________" the rest if drowned out by laughter.

We hear clunking sounds, and Jim says the devil fell down. But never fear, we hear Gary laugh again.

JIm blahblahblahs about obeying God, how God loves them and the devil hates them and wants them in jail, on drugs and alcohol, and divorced.

He blahblahblahs the story of Joseph (the many-collared coat one, not the married to Mary one).  When he tells them how Joseph was sold as a slave, he asks one kid how he would feel being sold into slavery and sent away from his mom and his home. I guess that's the closest any of these guys will ever get to teaching critical race theory.

Joseph was very beautiful - he goes on and on about this, and tells them in other countries "they call that guapo or guapa, maganda." And Potiphar's wife "tried to do things with him, and he said what you and I need to say - NO, devil! And he decided to run out of that house, and as he ran out of the house, she was not as fast as Ahimaaz was last night, right? But he run out of that house and she grabbed some of the clothing and tore it oh my goodness! And he went to jail for something that he didn't do. He was lied on and slandered."

"My point is this, young people. Joseph teaches us that we have to be fast runners ___ (seems like it should be "when" here, but it sounds like "or") we run away from sin, we run away from a temptation."

Jim tells them that he only encountered the temptation of drugs or alcohol once - someone had marijuana in his high school. The other kid came running down a stairway, and something "smelled really different," and he offered it to Jim. Jim yelled NO! and "ran up the stairs to get away from that."

Another round of talking about submitting and obeying, and Jim tells them he's scared of the Internet. He's going to tell them something he's never told anyone, in about 25 - no, 20 years, and he tells them to sit up straight.

So, are we going to hear how Jim had to fight off a temptation, so he can commiserate with how hard it is for kids?

Nah - it's a story about how some kids from another family, a good Christian family from church, came over to their house, and a teen showed his son "bad things" on the Internet, and, because they had a rule about leaving the bedroom door open, Jim came up behind them and "had to" see it, too.

Poor guy.

Another rote echo: "I will do right, no matter what." He manages to keep it the same for a few yelled reps.

A baby starts crying pitifully.

Jim models raising his hand as he asks "Anybody wanna go to jail? Can I see your hands?" Someone, who probably didn't really hear the question because she's bored to death or near the crying baby, must have raised her hand automatically, because Jim points and asks "You wanna go to jail? You think that's funny?" A voice answers "no."

JIm's been to jail, many times - as a preacher. He tells them horror stories about jail, and that every single person in jail is there because of not saying "no" to the devil.

Gary starts answering "yes" and "yep" to Jim's points about how people end up in jail. Jim brings him up again, to play the part of the devil, trying to get Jim to smoke a cigarette (the part of the cigarette appears to be played by a pen).

Jim gets them to call out that smoking is "BAD!" and a "SIN!"

Jim only smoked three times in his life, and he was five years old when he did it. "Not only did I smoke, my bottom smoked." He says he learned how to dance from that belt on his bottom. Gary chuckles.

Jim blahblahblahs through this, taking the "cigarette" from Gary, who has just been rocking and fidgeting. Jim tells them that the one cigarette will lead to others, then he'll die a horrible death from lung cancer like his grandfather.

They limply act out Gary picking up a bottle that is supposed to represent a liquor bottle, rocking and fidgeting and making no effort to give it to Jim, who takes it anyway, while telling them the devil is a liar and describing everything from a previous meal he will throw up after he drinks it. He tosses the bottle back to devilGary, who catches it neatly.

Next - drugs. "It starts with marijuana, and then it goes to shooting heroin in your veins." He doesn't need Garydevil this time - he just pulls the pen out of his pocket and mimes using it as a hypodermic in his arm.

That pen is a versatile little actor.

He tells them that vacation bible school was to help them live for God, and say no to the devil, and asks Gary to say the final prayer.

Again, Gary does a good job - if only he was this concise when he preaches.

Jim tells the kids to keep their heads bowed and their eyes closed, tells them that the adults have their eyes open because they care, says he's not going to tell parents, then asks them to raise their hands if they've looked at things on the Internet that they shouldn't have.

😡

I've watched four shitshows that you put on, Jim - should I raise my hand?

Jim asks them to raise their hands if they want to make a commitment to submit to God and say "no" to the devil, and have the adults pray for them to do so.

He tells them that the adults need to make that commitment, too, because "the minute that we don't think we need to submit t'God, the devil's gonna do this - he's gonna come knocking at your door." He bangs on something. "And he's gonna rip you apart."

And he asks again that anybody who doesn't know they are going to Heaven, but wants to know, to raise their hands. He counts the three hands he sees.

And the video cuts off.

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, Joyster said:

Bro Gary would NEVER use a dictionary.

Actually, he has one! He bought it in May 2020.

Now, whether or not he still uses it, I don't know. But, right after he got it, and a few times since, there have been periods of time when it seems obvious what his new word was.

And sometimes, he even understood it!

[Joyster]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Actually, he has one! He bought it in May 2020.

I stand corrected!  Gary, the dictionary can be your friend.  You need all the friends you can get, so keep using it.

It's too bad he won't use a word of the day app or calendar.  

[mango_fandango]

@thoughtful - the letter Z is pronounced like “ts” in German, hence the pronunciation of Mozart. I don’t know Hebrew but maybe it’s the same.

[postscript]

Sis @thoughtful, you never disappoint with the screenshots. Gary and Jim dancing is like the world’s worst line dance. Even funnier because it’s MM. 

Billy Sunday? They are really reaching back with their old-times preachers. None of these kids will have the first clue about someone who preached a century ago. And now I’ve got “Chicago (That Toddlin’ Town)” running through my head. I love songs about my home town, but I could have lived without the ear worm.

They’ve bounced around a lot on Bible stories this week. Wouldn’t it make far more sense to pick one or two, come up with an integrated theme for the week, and make these sessions more interactive, with the kids allowed to act out the story and doing some craft or game that ties in? They could still get the hellfire message in. But I suppose these sessions aren’t meant to be fun for the kids. 

Give the pen an Oscar! I’m sure it put in a far more convincing performance than Jim, Gary, Jacob or the creepy clown. 

 

[Destiny]

On 8/30/2021 at 10:31 PM, Xan said:

I understand that we have separate areas for politics but this reminded me very much of an article written by Adam Serwer for "The Atlantic".  The title was "The Cruelty is the Point".  Final paragraph:

I know this really wasn't your point, but I feel the need to point out whenever this comes up that there is NO requirement to not talk about politics outside the political areas on FJ. Much of what we discuss is the intersections of politics, religion, and where religion becomes fundamentalism, and trying to leave politics out of it doesn't make sense.

I know for a short time after the 2016 election, we asked that people keep politics somewhat out of the other areas, but that was never intended to be a permanent request or requirement of FJ. It was mostly just to give people who were exhausted from crying over what we were told was us being silly and was never going to happen (and then did, yes I'm still bitter) a break from politics for a few minutes. It was not in any way supposed to be a permanent thing.

That was a lot of words to say this: talk about politics wherever the hell you want FJ.

Edited September 8, 2021 by Destiny
i forgot a couple crucial words.

[Four is Enough]

Opinions, Chapter 2, verse 19. You can't make this stuff up!

[AmazonGrace]

I think it's cute that the devil is wearing a lanyard. Makes him more approachable.

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

@thoughtful - the letter Z is pronounced like “ts” in German, hence the pronunciation of Mozart. I don’t know Hebrew but maybe it’s the same.

Oh, I know (I've sung a lot of German text in my time) - I was just being silly.

Hebrew has both sounds - there is a letter for the z sound (zayin), and a different one for the ts sound (tsadik, which looks like the one on the bottom if it is at the end of a word).

Spoiler

It also has an h sound and the throat-clearing one, again represented by two different letters, but doesn't have the other sound that German has - the one that you use for things like "Ich liebe dich."

Sorry - the word nerd in me took over there - just picture a guy made entirely of letters, behind me dancing around like Gary with Missionary Jim, tempting me to babble on about words. I did not resist. No doubt I will be going to word hell.  😁

These fundies bring out my word nerd. Their proud, staunch refusal to learn anything about the languages in which their beloved bible was written, or the history, and to insist that God inspired it all in 1611, in England, because reasons, never ceases to get to me.

A person could spend a lifetime exploring the history of language or religion, let alone both, but they think God wants them to keep all of the misconceptions and mispronunciations they have decided on.

Not to mention that their mispronunciations are heavily influenced by their modern, various American accents. It's a sure bet they are pronouncing very little of it the way the men of England in 1611 would, so why not be influenced by the original languages?

As for Ahimaaz (as I said in the earlier post, it's roughly Akh-ee-MAH-atz, the closest he came was "Ah-HIM-ee-az"), I can understand why Jim didn't know the h was the throat-clearing sound, what syllable to stress, and how to pronounce the i and z. I blame the KJV transliteration for all of that. But where he got a long e sound for that first a is a mystery to me!

4 hours ago, Joyster said:

It's too bad he won't use a word of the day app or calendar.  

Too bad for us, that is. Gary being Gary, I imagine he would manage to screw up both pronunciation and meaning in many amusing ways.

13 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I think it's cute that the devil is wearing a lanyard. Makes him more approachable.

The Devil Wears ID - coming soon to a theater near you. Think they can get Streep, Hathaway and Tucci again?

 

[Dana723]

Oh my gosh.  I have so many jokes to make about Gary playing the devil that I'm positively giddy!

 

ETA:  I've got to finish reading through @thoughtful's summary first though because I can guarantee she already said them.

18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Missionary Jim: "I don't trust him."
Kid in audience: "I do!"

Buy that kid a candy bar!

Edited September 8, 2021 by Dana723

[Dana723]

*cracks knuckles*

Jim looks behind the partition.  "Oh no.  Look who is back there.  He's the meanest thing I've ever met.  He doesn't like anyone.  He thinks he's better than everyone.  And he's hideous to look at.  Oh, and the devil's back there too."

[thoughtful]

27 minutes ago, Dana723 said:

Oh my gosh.  I have so many jokes to make about Gary playing the devil that I'm positively giddy!

 

ETA:  I've got to finish reading through @thoughtful's summary first though because I can guarantee she already said them.

You know the expression "many hands make light work?" Well, many minds make more jokes, as well. I bet you have some thoughts I didn't come up with.

I forgot - I was going to post a link to the video, in case anyone wants to see Jim dance with the devil in the pale church light. It starts at about 9:30:

https://www.facebook.com/163658627028893/videos/153677090177499

 

 

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by thoughtful
removing pics that got in there because I had another post started.