Dillards 95: Next?

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

As of right now I think the Dillard kids have the best possible chance to break away from Duggardom and live healthy productive lives.

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

As of right now I think the Dillard kids have the best possible chance to break away from Duggardom and live healthy productive lives.

I agree. I think Freddy is even luckier than his older brothers, because was born when most of the stress was over. 

Anyway, I think the 3 of them will have privacy, a safe environtment and real academical resources. Other Granduggars have privacy (which is great!) but I'm not sure about real resources.

[Cam]

The younger generation often seems to see things in a new and/or different light. Whereas several of my siblings can grate on my last nerve sometimes at the drop of a hat, my son sees these sibling as affectionately comical. I can appreciate his perspective. Hopefully some of the Duggar grandkids will not have their personalities dulled by fundie propaganda. 

[SassyPants]

9 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

As of right now I think the Dillard kids have the best possible chance to break away from Duggardom and live healthy productive lives.

Because their parents are doing the hard work of processing and shedding the dysfunction that Gothard preached and JB reinforced, and framing relationships and religion in a healthy context. The Dillards can acknowledge and appreciate that the only way to live a healthy, contributing and prosperous life is through being informed and working hard. You can’t just talk about lofty ideas, you have to actually do the work, your entire life, and the only person you can control is yourself.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

23 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I agree. I think Freddy is even luckier than his older brothers, because was born when most of the stress was over. 

Anyway, I think the 3 of them will have privacy, a safe environtment and real academical resources. Other Granduggars have privacy (which is great!) but I'm not sure about real resources.

Privacy is a great first step but more needs to come after. It’s like leaving fundiedom, a necessary step but it’s only the beginning. You can’t just tear down walls, you also have to build new ones.

[marmalade]

DWreck turned 35 this past weekend. And Jill turns 33 in May. 

I still picture her as a kid. 

[Kiki03910]

21 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Privacy is a great first step but more needs to come after. It’s like leaving fundiedom, a necessary step but it’s only the beginning. You can’t just tear down walls, you also have to build new ones.

I really appreciate your insight and generosity, FSHG. Thank you for helping me understand.

[justmy2cents]

10 hours ago, marmalade said:

DWreck turned 35 this past weekend. And Jill turns 33 in May. 

I still picture her as a kid. 

By 33 Michelle had 12 kids (with 2 sets of twins). So glad none of the daughters are following in her footsteps.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, justmy2cents said:

By 33 Michelle had 12 kids (with 2 sets of twins). So glad none of the daughters are following in her footsteps.

Even if they all tried, they likely wouldn’t succeed. It’s extremely difficult to get to 19. Most women have more miscarriages  thank Michelle. Most women don’t regularly get their periods back that early when exclusively breastfeeding (it can be all over the place). Most women don’t have that much sex to get pregnant that often. And most couples are just not that fertile. Especially when it comes to 2 sets of twins. Therefore even if one of her daughters or daughters in law wanted to be a super big family, she probably wouldn’t even get close to 19.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

13 hours ago, marmalade said:

DWreck turned 35 this past weekend. And Jill turns 33 in May. 

I still picture her as a kid. 

Jill’s stories show how her kids we all out to Derrick’s birthdays and it’s pretty sweet. 

[patsymae]

On 3/10/2024 at 3:10 AM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

As of right now I think the Dillard kids have the best possible chance to break away from Duggardom and live healthy productive lives.

 

On 3/10/2024 at 3:10 AM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

As of right now I think the Dillard kids have the best possible chance to break away from Duggardom and live healthy productive lives.

I agree. Not a fan and I think Derrick is probably still mostly a douche, but he has been a good husband, he has had a secular education, he apparently has more of a brain than I used to give him credit for and he and Jill seem open to learning. At the very least they won't be in IBLP and their daddy isn't a preacher as an actual job. They will be exposed, even if minimally, to other ways of thinking. Also, they've lived through the heartache of Jill being ostracized by people she loves and I suspect (or maybe just hope) they won't be in a hurry to cast out a child who has questions.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

7 hours ago, patsymae said:

 

I agree. Not a fan and I think Derrick is probably still mostly a douche, but he has been a good husband, he has had a secular education, he apparently has more of a brain than I used to give him credit for and he and Jill seem open to learning. At the very least they won't be in IBLP and their daddy isn't a preacher as an actual job. They will be exposed, even if minimally, to other ways of thinking. Also, they've lived through the heartache of Jill being ostracized by people she loves and I suspect (or maybe just hope) they won't be in a hurry to cast out a child who has questions.

Agreed with all of this. I hope Derrick and Jill continue to grow to be even better parents 

[Adrienne83]

Jill had a stillbirth. 💔

[BullyJBG]

Sad news........fresh posts on their social media that they were pregnant and lost their baby girl.......ok looks like @Adrienne83 and I posted at the same time.

Edited April 14 by BullyJBG

[KWLand]

Heartbreaking.  I hope the family that is supportive reaches out to help and the others with just condolences.  She doesn’t need any fundie viewpoints given to her at this time.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Marie is Jana’s middle name. And the French version of Mary. Like grandma Mary. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I hope they’re able to take the time they need to grieve.

[Giraffe]

I wonder if Michelle is rethinking anything. Joy had a stillbirth, Jill now has a stillbirth, various of them have had multiple miscarriages. I just wonder if Michelle has ever had the self awareness to take a step back and think about how much pain and grief her and JB's teachings have had on their daughters as they've navigated difficult losses. 

[sableduck]

6 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I wonder if Michelle is rethinking anything. Joy had a stillbirth, Jill now has a stillbirth, various of them have had multiple miscarriages. I just wonder if Michelle has ever had the self awareness to take a step back and think about how much pain and grief her and JB's teachings have had on their daughters as they've navigated difficult losses. 

I honestly think Michelle doesn’t have the self awareness.  They were convinced that their fertility was due to not using birth control; I believe that most of their daughters, even Jessa, have said that they use some kind of birth control even if it’s non hormonal.  I think the fact that her daughters have a more normal fertility pattern with miscarriages and late miscarriages/stillbirths will just reinforce the belief in her mind that it’s all due to trying to control fertility.

[Expectopatronus]

7 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I wonder if Michelle is rethinking anything. Joy had a stillbirth, Jill now has a stillbirth, various of them have had multiple miscarriages. I just wonder if Michelle has ever had the self awareness to take a step back and think about how much pain and grief her and JB's teachings have had on their daughters as they've navigated difficult losses. 

I was thinking that too. All of the girls who are married have lost pregnancies and most of the daughter-in-laws have too. Poor Lauren’s reaction when she talked about wanting to die should be a glaring red light regarding how toxic the fertility belief are to women.

My heart breaks for the Dillard family and I hope they are given the support they need.

[CanadianMamam]

I saw this on Instagram and my heart broke for Jill. 

[Fundyrunner]

This is very sad, but doesn't sound like it's technically a stillbirth. I get that we are in a world where people are memorializing every pregnancy loss and mourning as needed, but stillbirths are defined as 20 weeks gestation+. Because they cite four months, this is correctly categorized as a second trimester miscarriage.

[SassyPants]

Prayers for the Dillard family and baby Isla.

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, Fundyrunner said:

This is very sad, but doesn't sound like it's technically a stillbirth. I get that we are in a world where people are memorializing every pregnancy loss and mourning as needed, but stillbirths are defined as 20 weeks gestation+. Because they cite four months, this is correctly categorized as a second trimester miscarriage.

Technically 20 weeks is 4.6 months.
 

 One month is not precisely  4 weeks, except for a non-leap year February. It’s why there is an annual number of paychecks difference between being paid bi-weekly and twice a month. 

So she may have been any where from 17.4 and 21.4 weeks pregnant and use the term 4 months pregnant. Although why anyone would nitpick on the terminology used is beyond me.