Maxwell 41: Taking a Short Vest Rest

[Odd1Out]

8 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Well, good for them for getting away for a while! We all know how hard it is to take a vacation away from the kids. You have to find childcare. You have to arrange for transportation.  You have to prepare meals and snacks ahead of time.  It’s HARD, you guys!  
 

*end sarcasm font now*

Exactly. Their youngest ‘child’ has been an adult for how long and Steve and Terie act like they need Mommy and Daddy alone time that is so hard to get when you’re parenting. 

19 minutes ago, lilith said:

Of course they do! They have 15 minutes scheduled for frivolous alone time every third Wednesday at 3.20 pm. 

No silly, it would have to be 3:15 or 3:30. ?

[lilith]

Planning a vacation for two, to a place you have gone to every year for 20 plus years, in two weeks, is no great achievement Teri, especially when you don’t have jobs or small children to coordinate. The Maxwell habit of presenting the mundane as remarkable is so irritating.

[Fluffles]

8 hours ago, Austrian Atheist said:

Well, it's good that Steve consults a cardiologist and takes advise seriously.

If they had just acted that cautiously with Terri's depression as well...

 

But Steve had a real medical condition. Terri's was just all in her head. (major eye roll)

[Lady Grass Lake]

7 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Generally speaking the GED is basically instead of a diploma. Like people who drop out of school can take the GED test instead of getting a diploma. It's used sometimes for homeschoolers but I think it is more often (at least in my area) thought of as a thing for people who didn't finish school as planned, for whatever reason. I know a guy who got his GED while in prison - I think most prisons have a program for inmates who didn't graduate to work toward getting a GED in hopes of helping them be more employable when they are released.

I

I don't know if this is the case in other states but in Michigan, you can quit school at 16, but you can't take the GED until after the class group  you were in, was due to graduate, so quit as a spohomore, no GED until those other sophomores graduated in June of their senior year.  Personally, I believe part of this is to try and keep the kids in school, but I also think it's to make sure theschool get two more years of state aid for those last two years.  

The schools also throw more roadblocks in their path.  You are not allowed to take History untill 11th grade, and Government/Economics in 12th grade.  Starting his senior year, my son one 1/2 credit hour shy of his total credit hours required, and had not taken Government/Econ.  He asked about taking those classes at summer school and was told NO.  His school day was 3 hours working  as an intern mechanich at a car dealership, for his second year of Auto Mechanics at the Career Center, Band,  Wood Shop and Government/Econ.  He had already been accepted to a state university in their automotive program in August before he started his senior year.  He was mature enought and capable of moving to college way before his senior year.  Stupid school system requirments.  

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Lady Grass Lake
Changed wording to make more sense.

[Hane]

1 hour ago, Sister Mozz said:

Sarah and I belong to the same national writers group. It's always a shock on the rare occasion she posts something, with the overlap of my regular life and online snark life. Last week she asked for specific resources on an issue she was having. I thought that was good of her! The issue, though? Describing everyday things in an interesting way.

I feel like I could make a joke, but it pretty much makes itself. And it also makes me sad.

This is incredibly sad. If she’d been allowed to read good fiction all her life, she probably wouldn’t be having this problem. It reminds me of all the people who ask authors, “Where do you get your ideas?” God bless them—I’m always tempted to ask them, “What—you don’t have *ideas*?”

[Bethy]

I really find this vacation offensive. I've followed the Maxwells for almost ten years and they've gone on their "some might call a vacation" virtually every August. They managed this when they had multiple "working" sons to schedule around. Now that there are no sons in the mothership, suddenly the only vacationgoers are Steve and Teri. Don't the girls deserve a vacation too? Especially this year, with childless Anna and Mary having to play nanny to their brother's brood and single Sarah having to shoot her baby brother's wedding and relive it time and again as she works on edits.

Is it too much to hope that they sneak out and buy a burner phone and a few GB of data and start researching things like "spiritual abuse" and "problems with patriarchy"?

[allyisyourpally5]

9 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I really find this vacation offensive. I've followed the Maxwells for almost ten years and they've gone on their "some might call a vacation" virtually every August. They managed this when they had multiple "working" sons to schedule around. Now that there are no sons in the mothership, suddenly the only vacationgoers are Steve and Teri. Don't the girls deserve a vacation too? Especially this year, with childless Anna and Mary having to play nanny to their brother's brood and single Sarah having to shoot her baby brother's wedding and relive it time and again as she works on edits.

Is it too much to hope that they sneak out and buy a burner phone and a few GB of data and start researching things like "spiritual abuse" and "problems with patriarchy"?

I love the burner phone idea!

I also think the idea that they would snitch (like someone said) would be totally true! And I think the snitch would be a brother or Anna and Mary. I could actually see Sarah having moment of “oh man I’m tired I’m going to sleep late” or “I don’t feel like cleaning today” and being snitched up by her sisters.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Steve and Teri call each morning at the normal wake up time. They get up so early- I’m sure I read 4:30/5am or something ridiculous (ridiculous in that they have no commute, they work for themselves and generally have nowhere to go - if that’s what you do then fine I don’t mean it’s wrong but we know the Maxwells are basically just doing it to avoid people- they exercise early so they dont see the heathen in real running clothes. I will also state I have to wake up at 5:30 for work to be there at 7am. They don’t! Which is why I think it’s crazy!)

I also wouldn’t be surprised at FaceTime bible time.

Or I’ll bet we will find that they are actually all camping out at various brother’s homes.

Jesse’s old room is now empty and I’m sure they had a spare room or an attic space or somewhere - those women should have their own space and bedroom.  So ridiculous. 

[lilith]

Well they just need a man to lead bible time - either FaceTiming with Daddy or going across the road/next door to Nathan or Christopher.

[SPHASH]

The unmarrieds needing a sitter reminds me of when I was 18, it was the summer I graduated HS and was living at home and had a job until it was time to move out for college in the fall.  My parents took an overnight trip and were gone less than 24 hours.  My stupid grandmother asks if I needed her to come over and stay with me like I was five years old or something.  Bitch.

[Alisamer]

6 hours ago, lilith said:

Planning a vacation for two, to a place you have gone to every year for 20 plus years, in two weeks, is no great achievement Teri, especially when you don’t have jobs or small children to coordinate. The Maxwell habit of presenting the mundane as remarkable is so irritating.

This is very true. My sister and I once decided on, packed for, and left on a trip in an hour and a half. It only took that long because we were both at work when the inspiration hit! She texted and said “you know, if we left after work...” and I said “give me 20 minutes to pack.” Boom we were on the road ASAP. She made the hotel reservations while waiting for the bus on her way home. 

[Flossie]

8 hours ago, SPHASH said:

The unmarrieds needing a sitter reminds me of when I was 18, it was the summer I graduated HS and was living at home and had a job until it was time to move out for college in the fall.  My parents took an overnight trip and were gone less than 24 hours.  My stupid grandmother asks if I needed her to come over and stay with me like I was five years old or something.  Bitch.

Are you calling your grandmother a stupid bitch because she asked you if you wanted her to come stay the night with you?  That seems rather harsh.

From the above statement it appears that 18 year old SPHASH was incensed that Grandma didn't understand that you were now a fully functioning adult with no need of her company on your first night staying home alone, and today's SPHASH still feels the same way.

I realize that there might be more to it than that, but that's how it reads to me with the limited information you've given.

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Flossie said:

Are you calling your grandmother a stupid bitch because she asked you if you wanted her to come stay the night with you?  That seems rather harsh.

From the above statement it appears that 18 year old SPHASH was incensed that Grandma didn't understand that you were now a fully functioning adult with no need of her company on your first night staying home alone, and today's SPHASH still feels the same way.

I realize that there might be more to it than that, but that's how it reads to me with the limited information you've given.

Yeah your right I was a little harsh in my name calling.  The issue was grandma always treated and talked down to me like I was a child even into adulthood.  If it had been any of my brothers she never would have done that.  And actually it was them that needed a babysitter lol. I think she treated me like that because I'm was a girl. It really hurt that she (and my parents) didn't trust me even though I never got in trouble as a youth and avoided situations where I could. My older brothers were the problem kids...underage drinking, DUI, smoking in the boys room at school etc.

Also grandma had a tendency to favor her grandsons over her granddaughters in terms of love and attention.  She was brought up to put the man on a pedestal.  This attitude led her to become estranged from her daughters.

Sarah is 38, Anna is 27 Mary is 24 and if Steve and Teri have one of the brothers look after them while they are on what some might call a vacation that is downright awful.  I wonder if they secretly feel the same way I did at the time.

Edited August 20, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[Bethy]

11 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

It wouldn’t surprise me if Steve and Teri call each morning at the normal wake up time. They get up so early- I’m sure I read 4:30/5am or something ridiculous (ridiculous in that they have no commute, they work for themselves and generally have nowhere to go - if that’s what you do then fine I don’t mean it’s wrong but we know the Maxwells are basically just doing it to avoid people- they exercise early so they dont see the heathen in real running clothes. I will also state I have to wake up at 5:30 for work to be there at 7am. They don’t! Which is why I think it’s crazy!)

I don't understand the fundie fascination with getting up hours before it's light outside. I think the Maxes shuffle off to bed at around 9PM. So they sleep from 9-4:30? Would it be worse if they slept from 11-6:30 and then started their exercise and Bible time? It's not like they have an hour-long commute to get up for.

Some branch of Sovereign Grace Ministries (the same church group Josh Harris was associated with) had a "5AM Club" several years back - women pledged to be up by 5AM for time alone with God, and I think to be a member in good standing of this club you had to post on their FB group each morning "checking in" to show you were up at 5AM. Apparently there was something extra-spiritual about being critically sleep-deprived.

This was a group for women (mostly moms) which I find more offensive the more I think about it. Who's got to work in the kitchen until all the dinner dishes are put away? The mom. Who's staying up with the hubby to make sure his "needs" are met? The mom. Who gets up in the night with every kid who has to go potty or baby who needs to be fed? The mom. Who feels like she has to be up and alert earlier than the entire household because otherwise she's not disciplined and spiritual? The mom. And they'll probably point to Proverbs 31 as evidence that women should be able to stay up late and get up before dawn because "the Proverbs 31 woman did it!" disregarding the historical reality that the verse about "her lamp does not go out at night" is referring to her shrewd management of household finances ensuring that there's enough lamp oil to leave a night light on.

At least, to their credit, the Maxes expect this from the entire household, and it isn't just the mom who's expected to function on zero sleep.

[freethemall]

I almost wonder if the "girls" are overjoyed to have the parents out of the house. I hope they're staying up all night having dance parties and shucking bean burritos and schedules out the window, eating whatever they want whenever they want, talking about dicks and planning their escape. One can dream. 

[Flossie]

31 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Yeah your right I was a little harsh in my name calling.  The issue was grandma always treated and talked down to me like I was a child even into adulthood.  If it had been any of my brothers she never would have done that.  And actually it was them that needed a babysitter lol. I think she treated me like that because I'm was a girl. It really hurt that she (and my parents) didn't trust me even though I never got in trouble as a youth and avoided situations where I could. My older brothers were the problem kids...underage drinking, DUI, smoking in the boys room at school etc.

That makes sense.  To be treated in a different way from the other kids in your family merely because you had different genitalia than your brothers?  Infuriating.

Did Grandma or your parents ever say or do anything to acknowledge that their worries were wasted on you and would have been better spent on your brothers?

[SPHASH]

7 minutes ago, Flossie said:

 

Did Grandma or your parents ever say or do anything to acknowledge that their worries were wasted on you and would have been better spent on your brothers?

Never.  Grandma is long dead now.  I did bring it up to my parents once and my mom said when it comes to raising kids girls get treated differently than boys which was even more upsetting to me.  I did remind them that just my brothers were fuck ups didn't mean I was going to be.  And TBH I turned out better than they did and it had nothing to do with my gender and/or the way I was raised.

Edited August 20, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[Hane]

@SPHASH, this reminds me of the time I went to a weekend religious retreat and my sister asked me if she could “babysit” my 18-year-old daughter. My reply was a polite version of “Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

[Hane]

Teri’s stilted writing in the anniversary trip post reminded me of a random thing I saw in an article about vintage cheeses: It said some cheeses fall out of favor and die out because they just aren’t good. It gave as an example a very hard cheese made out of skim milk. That’s the cheese version of Maxhell.

[SPHASH]

31 minutes ago, Hane said:

@SPHASH, this reminds me of the time I went to a weekend religious retreat and my sister asked me if she could “babysit” my 18-year-old daughter. My reply was a polite version of “Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

Exactly!  Except I wasn't as polite as you were.  I gave grandma a very direct one word answer.

Edited August 20, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[MamaJunebug]

On 8/19/2020 at 9:50 AM, Austrian Atheist said:

I know, I know - just silly rhetorical questions. Don't give them any time to think...

One of the first methods of mind-control. Yep yep yep. 

[calliopecassandra]

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Exactly!  Except I wasn't as polite as you were.  I gave grandma a very direct one word answer.

How many letters? Every answer I'm thinking of is more than one word

On 8/19/2020 at 6:35 AM, FloraKitty35 said:

I kind of imagined Steve & Teri went to CO and to eat edibles and hike while stoned and then never mentioned the latter part of that.   

Omg I'm soooo glad I wasn't eating or drinking. I would pay to see that!!!

On 8/19/2020 at 11:37 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

This may be the weirdest thing I've learned about them, if true.  

Why?!

In a word, control

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 minutes ago, calliopecassandra said:

In a word, control

Not to be morbid, but I wonder if this stuff would continue if Steve were to pass first.  

I can see it both ways.  Teri saying fuck it and relaxing a bit or her clinging even more tightly to the structure as it seems to have been put in place to help her with her depression.  

Not wishing ill on anyone, I just wonder how the dynamic will change.

[calliopecassandra]

10 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not to be morbid, but I wonder if this stuff would continue if Steve were to pass first.  

I can see it both ways.  Teri saying fuck it l change.

Very interesting point. I can see both ways too and I'm not sure which they would choose. I wonder if Teri's depression would be better now that she doesn't have a bunch of little kids. That's the reason for the "lifestyle change," right?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, calliopecassandra said:

Very interesting point. I can see both ways too and I'm not sure which they would choose. I wonder if Teri's depression would be better now that she doesn't have a bunch of little kids. That's the reason for the "lifestyle change," right?

I don't know much about the clinical nature of depression, but my understanding is for some it's a chemical thing but intense constant stressors can make it worse, even to the point of not being able to function properly.

So if Teri had depression anyway I can easily see how being required to have more kids than you can handle (and homeschooling) would send her into a dark spiral.

But if Steve were gone she would definitely have stress from grief and just the change...she's had him take the lead and shoulder all the decision making responsibility for decades and I'd imagine it would take her a bit to regain control of her own life.

Which brings me to something I've always thought...I don't think Teri will struggle much with the day to day stuff Steve handles now, the way some fundy wives would.  I think she's as competent and capable as he is and her submission is at least as much due to resentment as biblical belief.  If she can't control her life she can at least have him take the blame when things shit the bed.

I mean the pizza story?  I don't care what she says....none of that was about "reverencing" her husband.  It was all about being passive aggressive and lets see you remember pizza, Mr. SmartyPants.

 

[Howl]

27 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not to be morbid, but I wonder if this stuff would continue if Steve were to pass first.  

I can easily see Terri swilling an entire Pepsi.