Maxwell 41: Taking a Short Vest Rest

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

Because I don't feel good from lupus, I'm taking the easy way out today on the title.  I think credit goes to @IsmeWeatherwax.  If I'm wrong, my apologies to who did make it up.  

The kids of Nathan and Christopher may be getting to have what some may call fun with Terri as she provides swimming lessons once again.  Side stroke - it is a thing!  

 

[kpmom]

An at-home update from Anna Marie.

Seems she is taking the fact that she's immunocompromised very seriously, thankfully.  Whether the other Maxwells are...who knows.

She writes so well compared to Sarah, Teri, and Steve, that I don't even mind that she used the word "crew". ?

She really makes it clear the emotional roller coaster this has all been.

[Bethy]

20 minutes ago, kpmom said:

She writes so well compared to Sarah, Teri, and Steve, that I don't even mind that she used the word "crew". ?

She really makes it clear the emotional roller coaster this has all been.

Yes, she acknowledges the emotional toll, but at the same time she's berating herself for being emotional about it and seems to think she needs to do better. She has been through a major ordeal - growing a human being in her body for the sixth time, all while suspecting - then knowing - there was cancer being fed by that very pregnancy. An induced hospital birth after five homebirths. Inability to breastfeed. Off to one side of the country for surgery, then over to the opposite side for chemo, which strips away her biblical "crowning glory" (her long hair.) Hospitalization there (and subsequently, separation from the only one of her six children that she has with her) because of her blood counts. Other concerning lumps, bumps, and blood-count jumps. Finish the last chemo and hours later she's on a plane heading back to "normalcy." But the family doesn't look the same; she's missed a marriage and a birth, and she's trying to juggle her immunocompromised status while figuring out how to interact with her in-laws who don't have a clue what social distancing actually is, in light of the fact that she's going to still be immunocompromised until her firstborn is old enough for middle school. Her continuing treatment is on hold because of finances. On top of all that she's on meds that are actively messing with her hormones. And she's beating herself up for being too emotional and needing to be more "quiet."

I really HOPE she's looking into whatever mental health/emotional support services are available to her, and not just thinking she can fix it all herself if she takes a nap, reads the Bible more, and prays harder. What she's been through since the first of the year is a recipe for PTSD.

[JermajestyDuggar]

When I was taught to swim many years ago, I was taught a lot of strokes but I basically only do one type now that I’m an adult. That’s the breast stroke. It is just easiest and makes the most sense when I’m swimming. 

I hope Anna thinks about actual therapy with a licensed clinician. 

[fundiefan]

Burying her emotions is not helpful. Yes, she acknowledges them, but she can't truly "quiet" them by burying them & not dealing with them. I feel incredibly sad for anyone living in a world where "quieting the soul" is a thing. 

We all deal with things differently and you can't criticize how someone does that. But, burying these things for god is not dealing. 

I'd love to see her speak with a professional counselor who has experience or specializes in cancer patients. It's as important to deal with the mind and heart as with the cancer and she shows so many glimpses of doing so, then reverts to the soul quieting thing. 

I hope everyone around her takes her situation seriously - ALL the Maxwells - while at the same time offering help where needed. 

[Lady Grass Lake]

Brother in law was in the Army at Ft. Campbell early 80's, and got a great deal on a manual transmission Opal compact for really cheap because it didn't have reverse.  The knob on the shifter had been replaced with a billiard ball.  He always made sure he parked it so he could always drive forward and drove it for a few months.  His mom and dad came down to visit one weekend, and Dad jumped into the driver's seat, pushed down on the shifter, put it in reverse and backed up.  BIL had never driven a stick with a floor shifter, just on the steering wheel column, so he had no idea that foreign cars worked differently.   When the guy who sold it to him found out he was really mad.  

My son was in the youth symphony of our local symphony, and the students could work doing valet parking for the big symphony concerts.  My son was the only one of the students who could drive a stick so he got to drive all the really cool cars including Porsche and Jaguars and even a Hummer.  He got some good tips because he had such a feather touch on the clutch and the owners really appreciated how well he treated the cars and would look for him specifically at future concerts.  
 

Edited July 31, 2020 by Lady Grass Lake
grammer error changed so to some

[HoneyBunny]

Honestly, that was the most well-written and honest post ever published on the Titus2 blog. I, too, hope she allows herself to seek professional help. Most cancer centers have social workers who check in with patients, and I hope hers does, too, and that she is honest with them about her feelings. They can make sure she has the support she needs. 
 

Cancer is not a “treat it and you’re fine” kind of disease. A friend who had gone through Stage 3 colorectal cancer two years before I went through breast cancer told me quite frankly that I’d be looking over my shoulder the rest of my life, and she was right. The physical and emotional impacts are significant and enduring. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

Anna Marie being sad and telling herself to essentially shut up broke my heart today. Carry on. 

[Wendybirb]

Quote

 But still, sidestroke? Do even lifeguards use that stroke anymore?

Popping in to say that sidestroke is still taught in some lifeguarding courses as a resting stroke to use while towing people in with a rescue tube. 

(Also cause this is my first post and I wanted to practice using quotes. ?)

[Cults-r-us]

Her continuing treatment is on hold due to finances? Other broke people find resources. I don't know how my neighbor (stage 4 breast cancer, no insurance) got treatment, but she did. There has to be unexplored resources. But how to find them when she us so sick and overwhelmed.

[SPHASH]

6 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

Her continuing treatment is on hold due to finances? Other broke people find resources. I don't know how my neighbor (stage 4 breast cancer, no insurance) got treatment, but she did. There has to be unexplored resources. But how to find them when she us so sick and overwhelmed.

This is exactly why companies like Scamaritan should be outlawed.

[anjulibai]

Scamaritan requires patients to negotiate pricing, doesn't it? 

I hope the delay in treatment doesn't negatively affect her outcome. 

[Cults-r-us]

The stress of knowing you could die from delaying treatment would suck.

[Coconut Flan]

She said it would take about a week to resolve.  That isn't all that unusual.  It can take longer than that to get an appointment with an oncologist or to get insurance approval. 

[lilith]

Ffs, you can’t put cancer treatment on hold while you save up just because you’ve been taught debt was a sin.

They need to mortgage their debt free home and pull their equity out if that’s what it takes. Do a fundraiser amongst the zillion leg jumpers who Teri’s schedule from hell has saved from going crazy with endless children. Take out a personal loan. Do SOMETHING.

As an Australian it blows my mind that lifesaving medical treatment would ever be delayed due to finances. But even in the US user pays system the Maxwells have much better options than just waiting until finances improve.

 

 

1 minute ago, Coconut Flan said:

She said it would take about a week to resolve.  That isn't all that unusual.  It can take longer than that to get an appointment with an oncologist or to get insurance approval. 

I didn’t read it, so I didn’t know that. That’s reasonable. I was imagining her delaying it indefinitely until they could afford a lump sum.

[Coconut Flan]

The treatment she's getting sounds like a new one so the pricing may not be fully set or the hospital is trying to get her a cash price reduction or get a payment plan in place or something like that.   She said it looks like she'll be able to do injections at home herself.  Deliveries will have to be set up with a pharmacy and such and she'll have to be taught how to do the injections.  I have done that with a different drug not for cancer and it took at least two weeks maybe even three before it was all in place and I began treatment.

[Bethy]

14 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

The treatment she's getting sounds like a new one so the pricing may not be fully set or the hospital is trying to get her a cash price reduction or get a payment plan in place or something like that.   She said it looks like she'll be able to do injections at home herself.  Deliveries will have to be set up with a pharmacy and such and she'll have to be taught how to do the injections.  I have done that with a different drug not for cancer and it took at least two weeks maybe even three before it was all in place and I began treatment.

It's the principle of the thing. Scamaritan requires that its subscribers do everything they can to haggle the price down BEFORE submitting the claim. And that might not be a big deal if the worst thing that ever happens is your kid needs a rapid strep test or a few stitches, but Anna Marie is in a literal fight for her life and she and Christopher shouldn't have to be giving any headspace to haggling over pricing BEFORE she can even start the treatment. The fact that she mentions it in her post means it's weighing on her, even as she tries so hard to "quiet" herself.

[freejugar]

The Maxwell blog is so sterile, full of pictures and schedules and completely devoid of human emotion.

That was such an honest, human and emotional post that it even feels out of place.

[Howl]

Is she on an estrogen suppression treatment that has put her into instant menopause?  I hope she feels supported and loved, because the body she was living in until recently isn't the one she's inhabiting now.  

[Giraffe]

6 minutes ago, Howl said:

Is she on an estrogen suppression treatment that has put her into instant menopause?  I hope she feels supported and loved, because the body she was living in until recently isn't the one she's inhabiting now.  

She said she’s on meds until April of 2022. I’m glad it means they either agreed to be done with pregnancies or at least prevent until after that. 

[Black Aliss]

17 hours ago, Wendybirb said:

Popping in to say that sidestroke is still taught in some lifeguarding courses as a resting stroke to use while towing people in with a rescue tube. 

(Also cause this is my first post and I wanted to practice using quotes. ?)

That's how I learned it, but without the rescue tube. In theory the drowning person would not thrash around and you could pull them with one arm (IIRC your hand under their chin) and stroke with the other. And it worked when we practiced because when a person was only pretending to be a drowning victim they were also perfectly cooperative when being towed in.

My resting stroke of choice will always be breast stroke. If the water is calm I could do that stroke for hours.

[Dominionatrix]

She said she's on "some hormone therapy" and anti-HER2 therapy. The latter is not supposed to be taken while pregnant,* but we don't actually know whether that means they will prevent. 

*https://www.cancer.org/cancer/breast-cancer/treatment/targeted-therapy-for-breast-cancer.html

[lilith]

God I hope they’re being sensible with Anna’s reproductive health, but how? It’s probably fine now while she’s really sick - even Christopher must realise his helpmeet isn’t up to helping in that area and be ok with abstaining. But once she’s feeling a bit better but is still on hormone treatments? Abstaining for years wouldn’t be a healthy option for either of them or for their relationship. We know they won’t use hormonal birth control, which they think is an abortificant. NFP isn’t foolproof at the best of times, adding in hormone therapy would surely make it even trickier. And it requires abstinence when the woman is most likely to want sex. They’re really left with only barrier methods, but I’m sure they are at the very least frowned upon in Maxhell. I hope Christopher follows on his fathers footsteps and gets snipped, but I doubt he will. 
Surely they must accept they’re done with babies. But the practicalities of that within their belief system are complex and it must be a huge blow to Anna’s identity and sense of self - she seemed to genuinely enjoy life as a Quiverful wife and mother.

[Giraffe]

27 minutes ago, lilith said:

God I hope they’re being sensible with Anna’s reproductive health, but how?...We know they won’t use hormonal birth control...

We don’t know that. We know what they tell us but we don’t actually know. I don’t know about the specific meds she’s taking but there are some drugs that are so toxic to a zygote, embryo or fetus that the patient has to undergo permanent sterilization before doctors will even prescribe the medicine*. We will never know what they’ve chosen that doesn’t match with their “god decides” teachings and because that’s such a huge part of their testimony the vasectomy reversal is such a huge deal in the Maxwell world, they would never be transparent about that. They’ll just chalk it up to god closing her womb. 
 

 

*Thalidomide comes to mind

Edited August 2, 2020 by Giraffe
Removing an extra word

[lilith]

5 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

We don’t know that. We know what they tell us but we don’t actually know. I don’t know about the specific meds she’s taking but there are some drugs that are so toxic to a zygote, embryo or fetus that the patient has to undergo permanent sterilization before doctors will even prescribe the medicine*. We will never know what they’ve chosen that doesn’t match with their “god decides” teachings and because that’s such a huge part of their testimony the vasectomy reversal is such a huge deal in the Maxwell world, they would never be transparent about that. They’ll just chalk it up to god closing her womb. 
 

 

*Thalidomide comes to mind

That’s true, but I think they would go for sterilisation before they would consider something that they believe kills unborn babies.