Maxwell 39: Like Sands Through an Hour Glass, so Are the Vests of Our Lives

[Bethy]

2 hours ago, ElizaB said:

While on tour they wanted to match and sewing their own outfits was the way to do this. It was also probably easy to say, "red frumper on Monday, Green on Tuesday and so on." This probably made packing and coordinating easy. When they stopped touring the stopped needing to match. This led to everyone picking the styles and clothes they liked. If you look back at the blog even in the earlier years you will see that even then they didn't always wear the frumpers. They did have other skirt outfits that they still wore. However, they always wore the matching frumpers at the conferences. In the old days this was a lot of their time and a lot of blog posts revolved around these trips. So we mostly saw them in these; however, they still did have other clothes. 

 

If you look back at the early blog days (2006-2010) the ladies are almost exclusively frumpered in even daily activities. They seemed to generate one new set of matching frumpers each year which were used for photos and matching at conferences, but everybody had plenty of other frumpers that matched no one (though many came from that princess-seam pattern envelope.) Very, very occasionally we would see a skirt and polo shirt but those were rare. On the daily it was frumpers. I remember we conjectured about that back in the yuku days - what makes frumpers "better" than dresses or skirts/tops? I think we concluded they were the bulletproof "modest" garment. There was no possible way one's midriff would ever show, the silhouette was appropriately loose, the extra layers of shirt+jumper helped with coverage up top, ankle length meant the legs were covered. Plus they stayed cleaner than a dress. If you wore a dress for a day, you'd need to wash/iron the dress. If you wore a frumper for a day, you'd have a T-shirt and slip underneath, and the frumper would stay clean as long as you didn't spill anything on it. They went on to purchase a multitude of matching tops and skirts for the conference years that followed, and you're correct - nobody ever seems to have a garment that matches anyone else now that the dog and pony show has folded.

I did feel sorry for Mary when I browsed through those years - as the youngest, she was the last to wear any hand-me-down jumpers and then they would add obvious fabric to the hem to bring it down to ankle length when she grew taller, since no one else would inherit it, but it was super important to keep those ankles covered, apparently ?

2 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I figured he got a job lot of them somewhere. lol

To be honest I wondered how they could afford the frumper-dump. The tour must have been very lucrative at that point. At various times in my life when I've wanted to reinvent my look due to job change or weight loss or whatever, I've been forced to do it bit by bit as I could afford it. And getting all those matching skirts/tops? I get that they're petite, so they might actually FIND multiples of their size on the clearance racks (they mentioned Christopher and Banks as a skirt supplier back when) but I can't imagine they bought all those matchy skirts and tops at clearance prices. They had to pay retail eventually. And when outfitting four fully-grown women, that adds up. We've talked about how sewing your clothes isn't cheaper but doing it the Maxwell way (where they probably bought whole bolts of their calicos when there was a great sale or they had a coupon, and they reused patterns over and over and with multiple family members) would be a LOT cheaper than buying four sets of skirts/tops at the mall.

1 hour ago, Tatar-tot said:

Who on God’s green earth would want their wife and daughters dressed in such a hideous manner?

To be honest...they are super comfy. No binding waistband, skirt is full enough for freedom of movement without feeling excessive, not too bulky through the shoulders to add a sweater over it on a chilly day. And there is a bit of a discernible waist so it didn't just fit like a big billowing tent. Pain in the butt to iron though.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, Bethy said:

To be honest...they are super comfy. No binding waistband, skirt is full enough for freedom of movement without feeling excessive, not too bulky through the shoulders to add a sweater over it on a chilly day. And there is a bit of a discernible waist so it didn't just fit like a big billowing tent. Pain in the butt to iron though.

Eight year old me would have loved a uniform of frumpers….that was the year my mom made me a sleep bonnet like the Ingalls girls wore and I may or may not have had a Holly Hobby doll on  my bed.

But seriously, I've often wished I could have some kind of uniform so I didn't have to decide what to wear.  I recently bought a chiffon blouse I thought was cute and when my kids saw it my daughter burst into laughter and my son, without a trace of smirk, asked why I was dressed like the ghost of Christmas past.  Dressing oneself is hard.

 

[Granwych]

22 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Yikes, the years and Steve’s vegan diet have not been kind to Teri!

The tie is the absolute worst and as a Christian it tears me up to say that. It’s the bride’s day, Steve you cock of the walk.  Leave it to the officiating pastor to bear witness to Jesus in his church on the occasion of your new daughter-in-law’s and last son’s wedding ceremony.  Arrogant poser. You do no honor to our Lord by that smug display. 

What the hell, Steve has not been kind to Teri.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I imagine Steve would still be a controlling ass, but probably in a different way. 

Without the perfect co-dependent enabler Steve would be divorced.

If you believe the multiverse theory on some plane somewhere is a very chill Steve Maxwell drinking a beer and watching baseball with one of his two sons while he advises his daughter about work related matters.

[SassyPants]

Uniforms are the absolute best. So glad my career was spent wearing scrubs. I would have been a basket case trying to figure out what to wear on the daily!  I also went to Catholic school as did my kids, so I‘ve really had it easy in the wardrobe dept.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

Anyway, Teen Nausicaa versus Steve would have been one hell of an epic showdown. 

Yeah - I was what my mom called "a lively girl" which was sweet speak for rebellious argumentative pain in the ass.  Raising me would have killed Steve.

6 minutes ago, Granwych said:

What the hell, Steve has not been kind to Teri.

I could argue he's been kinder to her than she ever was to her children.  

 

[Bethy]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Yeah - I was what my mom called "a lively girl" which was sweet speak for rebellious argumentative pain in the ass.  Raising me would have killed Steve.

Or he would've killed you.

Seriously, I'm thankful that my parents weren't the type to blindly follow the likes of the Pearls. Because I was the stubborn sort who would've gotten beaten to death if my parents drank the kool-aid that all they had to do was hit me harder and eventually I would turn into a sweet, compliant child.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, Bethy said:

Or he would've killed you.

Seriously, I'm thankful that my parents weren't the type to blindly follow the likes of the Pearls. Because I was the stubborn sort who would've gotten beaten to death if my parents drank the kool-aid that all they had to do was hit me harder and eventually I would turn into a sweet, compliant child.

I feel exactly the same way.

I was a very stubborn child and what was called a truth screamer in my family.  I was a difficult child to parent and had my parents gone the way of the Pearls or Maxwells....I honestly don't know what would have become of me.  Because in order to break me it would have to get so severe and so out of hand, because I would  have pushed it to the edge...lifechanging lines would  have been crossed.

My heart breaks for all the broken children in these families.

 

[Granwych]

On 6/19/2020 at 9:47 AM, SPHASH said:

New post up.  Annual mulching party at Gigi's. They also ordered Papa John's pizza yuck!  I don't think we are ever going to see the wedding pics.

A mulching party. FFS, how dull and boring can this family get?  (Never mind, we all know the answer to that.)

Zzzzz...wake me up, someone please, should something worth reading pop up.  Thanks!

[SassyPants]

14 minutes ago, Bethy said:

Or he would've killed you.

Seriously, I'm thankful that my parents weren't the type to blindly follow the likes of the Pearls. Because I was the stubborn sort who would've gotten beaten to death if my parents drank the kool-aid that all they had to do was hit me harder and eventually I would turn into a sweet, compliant child.

My daughter was a “lively and challenging teen.” During those teen years I would often tell my husband had my daughter grown up in the home I did, she would have been in a shallow grave in the backyard.

[freejugar]

I didn't know anything about the ABC girls' aunt, she seems cool

 

Spoiler

 

[FiveAcres]

On 6/17/2020 at 9:53 AM, Lady Grass Lake said:

Later on at a family party, he was telling his Dad I was bitching at him because I wanted him to tell where he was going ALL THE TIME.   His Dad chimed in with, yeah, his wife was also a nosy nag and had to know where he was going.   I don't need an exact itinerary or need a reason why he's going someplace, it's just common courtesy between spouses.  We had a friend die when he was out cutting wood by himself, a branch fell on his head and killed him.   I calmly explained that I wasn't tracking his every move,  I just wanted to know where to start looking for his body.   If someone disappears, you have to wait 7 years before they can be declared dead and that would mean I couldn't get his life insurance until then.  I just want to know where to look so it shortens the wait because we had young kids at the time.  You should have seen the looks on their faces.   Got my point across.  

I used to trail ride by myself. (NOT A GOOD IDEA.) However, my partner knew when I planned to go out by myself and knew my route. It was a great way to unwind in the evenings after a demanding job. The mare I was leasing was rock solid so I told myself the risk was not that high. (SO NOT A GOOD IDEA.) The worst thing that ever happened was dismounting to get the gate without being sure that it was a good place. I scored my ankle and leg on a cut sapling. It was sufficiently painful that I put away the mare and drove home without looking at it. Besides, there was no place to clean it up properly at the barn. (STILL NOT A VERY GOOD IDEA.) Fortunately, it was just a nasty laceration and I was able to treat it myself. This was back in the day when mobile phones were in their infancy.

We moved to Texas shortly thereafter for two years and then to Colorado, where I started riding again. A few months later I bought my Thoroughbred Hap and he was so not a rock solid trail horse. I rarely rode alone after that. I used to joke that I wanted someone around to call 911 and put Hap away if I couldn't do it. (NOT REALLY A JOKE.)

[nausicaa]

38 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Yeah - I was what my mom called "a lively girl" which was sweet speak for rebellious argumentative pain in the ass.  Raising me would have killed Steve.

My mother says she first knew she had a problem when I was ten months old and she moved some alphabet magnets up higher on the fridge so I wouldn't put them in my mouth. I began to bang my own head against the kitchen floor, trying to knock myself out as a public demonstration against this deep injustice. I wouldn't stop hitting my head no matter what, so she finally just  gave up and moved me to a carpeted room. 

Yeah... I would have died or Steve would have died. There was no keeping the two of us in a house together.

In other news, as an adult, a lack of determination or persistence have never been issues for me. ?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

5 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

wonder how aware Abby is of her Aunt Grace Maher, a reasonably successful, working country music performer in Nashville.

Shut the front door! I never knew this! Wow!

[MamaJunebug]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Eight year old me would have loved a uniform of frumpers….that was the year my mom made me a sleep bonnet like the Ingalls girls wore and I may or may not have had a Holly Hobby doll on  my bed.

But seriously, I've often wished I could have some kind of uniform so I didn't have to decide what to wear.  I recently bought a chiffon blouse I thought was cute and when my kids saw it my daughter burst into laughter and my son, without a trace of smirk, asked why I was dressed like the ghost of Christmas past.  Dressing oneself is hard.

 

This has worked for me for years: Black top, usually sleeveless. Black slacks or jeans. Jacket or sweater or blouse-y top in as much or as little color and pattern as I feel like. Bada bing, dressed!!! 

I recently lost weight and have gotten absolutely daring with a few pair of white or khaki bottoms; and a couple shirts with a bit of pattern. Even so, it’s still easy to dress! 

If only I’d been so smart in my working days, but hey: better late than never. 

[Coconut Flan]

I had a neighbor, now deceased, who had a wardrobe out of a box almost.  Everything was either capris or long pants in black, olive, or tan and sleeveless or short sleeved shirts in the same colors.  She was always put together no matter which pieces she selected.  She had a black jacket that could go with any outfit.

 

[fundiefan]

5 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

I wonder how aware Abby is of her Aunt Grace Maher, a reasonably successful, working country music performer in Nashville. Grace’s wardrobe is adorable, appropriate for her work, and she’s got a fit body to rock it. Never looks particularly harlot-ish, just dressed for her work and style. 

I like to believe that the girls have whole separate wardrobes for when Mel & Nate take the passel o’kids to Maher Family gatherings or on their own family vacations sans the Max Monitors.

Maybe not skinny jeans & crop tops, but shorts, capris, t-shirts & tank tops. An old women's libber can dream. 

Did you see Grace's Father's Day post? I hate to tell the skirt/dress wearing fundies, well fitting jeans & tops are far more feminine & attractive than what looks like painting clothes 2 sizes too big with a freaking denim skirt. 

[Hane]

@MamaJunebug, I dropped a bunch of weight after my first divorce and felt great about myself. Then I read a Parents Without Partners article that began, “You know those 25 pounds we all lose when we get divorced?” And here I thought I was magic!

No such luck with Divorce #2!

[usmcmom]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

A mulching party. FFS, how dull and boring can this family get?  (Never mind, we all know the answer to that.)

Zzzzz...wake me up, someone please, should something worth reading pop up.  Thanks!

Free Jinger: I bet they can’t get any more boring! 
Steve Maxwell: Hold my beer! 

[VBOY9977]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

Did you see Grace's Father's Day post? I hate to tell the skirt/dress wearing fundies, well fitting jeans & tops are far more feminine & attractive than what looks like painting clothes 2 sizes too big with a freaking denim skirt. 

I didn’t realize Melanie’s mom wore pants. Did Melanie’s family’s style evolve over time, or did Melanie change her style to fix the Maxwell’s?

Edited June 23, 2020 by VBOY9977

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

Did you see Grace's Father's Day post? I hate to tell the skirt/dress wearing fundies, well fitting jeans & tops are far more feminine & attractive than what looks like painting clothes 2 sizes too big with a freaking denim skirt. 

Um...is that Mel in the outfit you just described? I know there are still a couple Maher sisters who are pretty fundie and I can't always tell them apart, but if that's Mel in the picture on Grace's IG...it doesn't do anything to ease my concern that we'll be seeing Debi in a "Big Sister" onesie any day now.

[VBOY9977]

2 minutes ago, Bethy said:

Um...is that Mel in the outfit you just described? I know there are still a couple Maher sisters who are pretty fundie and I can't always tell them apart, but if that's Mel in the picture on Grace's IG...it doesn't do anything to ease my concern that we'll be seeing Debi in a "Big Sister" onesie any day now.

Pretty sure that is Melanie 

[usmcmom]

I can’t seem to find Grace’s Facebook page. I see her professional one. Does she have another public one?

[BullyJBG]

4 hours ago, Bethy said:

Or he would've killed you.

Seriously, I'm thankful that my parents weren't the type to blindly follow the likes of the Pearls. Because I was the stubborn sort who would've gotten beaten to death if my parents drank the kool-aid that all they had to do was hit me harder and eventually I would turn into a sweet, compliant child.

I think my parents may have looked into this and tried it. But eventually learned(though didn't admit it until we were all grown) that it did NOT turn ANY of us into sweet, compliant children. Compliant, maybe, as a cover, but NOT sweet. I would sometimes threaten to run away after a spanking, and they actually asked me questions of where I would go and how I would feed myself. I think that's when I started thinking, maybe I should save more money.

  Yeah, I'm thankful not to have been raised by Steve either. I wonder how HE would handle a child who talked about running away? And how "sweet" he may have been to keep the daughters there? Oh my; as a teen, my one week of the year that I most looked forward to was camp, and I can't imagine him sending kids to camp where they can't monitor everything........

[Giraffe]

10 minutes ago, BullyJBG said:

Yeah, I'm thankful not to have been raised by Steve either. I wonder how HE would handle a child who talked about running away?

Beat them harder