Maxwell 39: Like Sands Through an Hour Glass, so Are the Vests of Our Lives

[LurkerOverThePond]

That first pic has to be from Anna 3.0 and Jesse's wedding. I have no words for Steve's tie... They had those very same Jesus-ties back in their touring days. It's ok for a very religious conference, but NOT for your son's wedding day. I don't much care for traditional "clothing rules", but surely a text tie is not okay for the father of the groom, no matter how godly it is.

I thought we have seen Teri's jacket before, and yes we indeed have back in September 2014 at Elissa and Joseph's wedding: 

Of course this was taken almost six years ago, but when you compare the recent photo with this old one, you can clearly see how much she has lost weight. She was always thin, but back in 2014 she "filled" her jacket properly and looked really good in it. Now, her clothes look way too big on her. Ironing the jacket wouldn't have hurt either...

[meee]

On 6/20/2020 at 10:48 PM, Bethy said:

Or he has gotten stricter yet! When Anna Marie married into the Maxwell clan, her clothes fit in - she just sewed her calico prairie frumpers out of a different pattern envelope than her new in-laws. Now the mothership has gone fairly modern modest (frumpers are long gone, skirts are just below the knee on Anna/Mary) and the other cousins dress like they bought the more-modest stuff at Carter's, but Christopher's family has doubled down on the calico frumpers. While his siblings play Spikeball and his nieces and nephews enjoy card games with the grandparents, Christopher's kids are doing some unsafe (I say this because of the ankle-length frumpers on the girls) corporate team-building activity in the backyard and are scheduled to the hilt. And when we saw the other cousins mingling like normal kids with Jesse's new in-laws right before Mama Craig locked down her Insta, Christopher's kids were glumly seated on their matching plastic stools making friends with no one.

I wonder if Steve and Teri will pass the ministry mantle to Christopher and his brood (this may depend on Anna Marie's health) and if future updates of "Keeping Our Children's Hearts" will have C&A's children on the front cover.

See, and I've never understood this. Why did they go modern modest in the first place? I have an unhealthy love of frumpers myself (though I'd never wear one because I don't live in Maxhell), and one time I left a comment on their blog saying I liked their jumpers and where could I find a pattern? And Teri (I think) wrote back rather brusquely that they hadn't sewn/worn that style in years and there were sure to be any number of similar patterns on the internet. But if they think Chris and Anna Marie have it right, then why would they (the mothership) have "taken a step down" in modesty, so to speak?

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, meee said:

See, and I've never understood this. Why did they go modern modest in the first place? I have an unhealthy love of frumpers myself (though I'd never wear one because I don't live in Maxhell), and one time I left a comment on their blog saying I liked their jumpers and where could I find a pattern? And Teri (I think) wrote back rather brusquely that they hadn't sewn/worn that style in years and there were sure to be any number of similar patterns on the internet. But if they think Chris and Anna Marie have it right, then why would they (the mothership) have "taken a step down" in modesty, so to speak?

It makes me wonder if the girls were the first to point out how unfashionable frumpers are. Because they stopped wearing them when the two youngest girls were teens and that seems to be when girls notice fashion a bit more. 

[Bethy]

23 minutes ago, meee said:

See, and I've never understood this. Why did they go modern modest in the first place? I have an unhealthy love of frumpers myself (though I'd never wear one because I don't live in Maxhell), and one time I left a comment on their blog saying I liked their jumpers and where could I find a pattern? And Teri (I think) wrote back rather brusquely that they hadn't sewn/worn that style in years and there were sure to be any number of similar patterns on the internet. But if they think Chris and Anna Marie have it right, then why would they (the mothership) have "taken a step down" in modesty, so to speak?

The favored one (the slightly fitted one with princess seams that was in the annual family pictures in 2009/2010) was McCall's 3129, the sleeveless view. They did a blog post about it in probably 2009. There was another one they used sometimes, but it was an A-line jumper with no darts or shaping whatsoever and it was already out of print way back then. I've sewed the 3129, incidentally, and even leaving out the zipper as they did, it's a huge pain in the butt because of the princess seams. I can't imagine mass-producing them as they must have back then. (Incidentally, being heavier and more well-endowed than the Maxwell ladies, that jumper didn't look particularly good on me.)

I don't know why Teri couldn't just tell you. I mean, I'm just a blog reader and I knew that info off the top of my head.

5 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It makes me wonder if the girls were the first to point out how unfashionable frumpers are. Because they stopped wearing them when the two youngest girls were teens and that seems to be when girls notice fashion a bit more. 

The whole frumper-dump took place very abruptly at Christmas 2010. They had just done their family portrait in November in that year's iteration (the dark red/burgundy paisley) and all of a sudden after Christmas they all turned up with button-down and polo shirts, all carefully layered over another knit top, with ankle-length skirts. No explanation, of course. These are the Maxwells. I do wonder if you're onto something with the noticing of fashion - though I can't imagine Steve would bend to the will of his teenage daughters. I had noticed that fall that some of the girls were layering a zip-front fleece vest over their jumpers which, particularly with the denim jumpers, gave them the much more mainstream appearance of wearing a long-sleeved shirt with a fleece vest and a denim skirt. But I wonder if someone said something to Steve/Teri at a conference, or if someone they respected (the Duggars, maybe?) pushed them that they were taking the prairie look too far/their appearance was hindering their ministry by being too over-the-top. But you KNOW they would never have explained or admitted to anything like that!

[meee]

Interesting! But since when do they care about "taking things too far"? They're awfully isolated and not particularly successful, as far as I know, with their ministry.

Edit: Also, I just went and looked back at some of the old frumper pictures. They used to call Anna "Annie" in the blog! Why in the world couldn't they have just done that instead of making poor Anna Marie change her name?!

Edited June 21, 2020 by meee

[MamaJunebug]

Yikes, the years and Steve’s vegan diet have not been kind to Teri!

The tie is the absolute worst and as a Christian it tears me up to say that. It’s the bride’s day, Steve you cock of the walk.  Leave it to the officiating pastor to bear witness to Jesus in his church on the occasion of your new daughter-in-law’s and last son’s wedding ceremony.  Arrogant poser. You do no honor to our Lord by that smug display. 

Edited June 21, 2020 by MamaJunebug

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, meee said:

Interesting! But since when do they care about "taking things too far"? They're awfully isolated and not particularly successful, as far as I know, with their ministry.

But they WERE successful. I've seen some on here argue that they were practically fundie royalty in the day. There's a reason they had Uriah - they were touring for weeks at a time, multiple times a year, and the photos Sarah posted on the blog back then showed some pretty significant crowds and those weren't just at fundie homeschool conventions. They have written a lot of books (and for as poorly-written as the Moodys really are, they have a big appeal for really-conservative families) and don't forget their very own color-coded chore charts show up on the wall of However-Many-Kids And Counting. Their sad lives now are nothing at all like they were 10-15 years ago. That's why it's a mystery that they couldn't get Sarah married off in her prime. They were definitely out and about more then.

[anjulibai]

Sarah once did an interview, many years ago, for some other fundie daughter blog, that mentions that there were some guys interested, but nothing worked out. I have no doubt Steve scared them all away. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

43 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Sarah once did an interview, many years ago, for some other fundie daughter blog, that mentions that there were some guys interested, but nothing worked out. I have no doubt Steve scared them all away. 

It makes the most sense to me. Sarah was always a catch in fundieland. I’m sure there were GYMs interested. I could see Steve being way worse than Jim Bob or Gil when a interrogating a GYM.

[Markie]

I was looking through the Maxwell photos. Abby appears to dress more conservatively like her aunts, whereas  Bethany and Tina wear more trendy fun clothes. I wonder if that’s a personal preference of Abby’s or pressure to be older than her age since She is the eldest child? 

[Tangy Bee]

There's got to be some guy out there that would want Sarah bad enough to put on a show for Steve. I really think Jeremy was clearly amused by JB. He already had Jinger wrapped around his finger so JB really had no choice but to go along. We all witnessed Jinger being totally sprung! Sarah is already older, so it might benefit her if a guy her age or older was interested. They would probably have more emotional stamina to deal with Steve.

[anjulibai]

A guy Sarah's age or older wouldn't be interested in dealing with that crap precisely because they have more emotional stamina nor ulterior motives to wanting a girl like Sarah

Jeremy was looking for a way to get famous and wanted a fundie girl he could mold into his trophy wife. Dealing with Jim Bob was an easy means to an end. 

[nvmbr02]

53 minutes ago, Markie said:

I was looking through the Maxwell photos. Abby appears to dress more conservatively like her aunts, whereas  Bethany and Tina wear more trendy fun clothes. I wonder if that’s a personal preference of Abby’s or pressure to be older than her age since She is the eldest child? 

It could be either of those things. She is also at a tough age and size for finding clothes, at least my girls have had difficulty around then. Too big for kid clothes, junior and ladies clothes don't always fit preen teen and young teen bodies well. I also imagine the selection of stylish clothes that fit their modesty standards is lacking. 

[usmcmom]

In this episode of “When Two Worlds Collide”:

Somehow my Pinterest account ended up on Mennonite/Amish dress ideas and the Maxwell women popped up. 

[HoneyBunny]

About the time they lost the frumpers, we started seeing the girls in flip flops and sandals, too. Until then, it was always sneakers or socks and dressier shoes.  We know they don’t wear shoes in the house.  I guess that, until then, their father and brothers could see toes but no one else could. Too titillating, for sure. 

[Granwych]

On 6/15/2020 at 10:57 AM, Captain Obvious said:

Aren’t they just.

That last one almost made me teary - and I’m an agnostic. Quite beautiful writing and actually from the heart. The Maxwells write from - I dunno - the liver? Basically the thing that filters all the good bits out

When he gets really wound up, Steve writes from the spleen.

[Bethy]

12 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

About the time they lost the frumpers, we started seeing the girls in flip flops and sandals, too. Until then, it was always sneakers or socks and dressier shoes.  We know they don’t wear shoes in the house.  I guess that, until then, their father and brothers could see toes but no one else could. Too titillating, for sure. 

I don't think it was quite so immediate, but I can't find timelines - but I do remember some sort of manly work frolic with Anna Marie sitting in the yard with a baby, and she was wearing sandals and there was much shock over it. Sometime after that the Maxgirls began wearing sandals and sometimes flip-flops. Mel, as I recall, has always worn flip-flops. But on the pregnant mamas, foot swelling could necessitate sandals or flip-flops, so for the unmarrieds to begin wearing them was a departure from their previous norms.

And to whoever was commenting on their height (in relation to FJ folks crashing a Max function) earlier, I do want to point out that they were pretty loyal to Clark's clogs for awhile, which give the wearer probably an inch and a half of additional height.

12 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

It could be either of those things. She is also at a tough age and size for finding clothes, at least my girls have had difficulty around then. Too big for kid clothes, junior and ladies clothes don't always fit preen teen and young teen bodies well. I also imagine the selection of stylish clothes that fit their modesty standards is lacking. 

I'm thinking all of the above. Her sisters look like they bought tunics/leggings from mainstream kids' stores but (a) those aren't available in the size she is now, and (b) as she grows/appears older (and as you look at her in relation to her younger sisters, it's clear she's had a big preteen growth spurt) those leggings and mid-calf tunics won't be seen as suitably modest, and she'll be held to the same modesty rules as her aunts. She won't likely find much in juniors' departments at stores, because so much of those styles consist of skinny jeans, crop tops, and short/tight-fitting dresses. So she jumps straight from "cute kid" to "middle-aged woman" in her fashion concept.

I feel her pain. I made the same jump at about her age. It's tough when you're still a kid at heart but your body won't fit into the clothes. It's kind of a shame that they've stopped sewing. They could make modest skirts/dresses for her in juvenile prints, but who's got the time? Surely not Mel, with six kids at home, or Abby, being sister-mom to the younger ones, and we all know the mothership is scheduled to the hilt so no time to sew there ?

[Tangy Bee]

I remember Anna Marie wearing white flip flops at her 1st baby shower. This too was a surprise because I had never seen any Maxwell women wearing them.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

19 hours ago, Bethy said:

Christmas they all turned up with button-down and polo shirts, all carefully layered over another knit top, with ankle-length skirts. No explanation, of course. These are the Maxwells. I do wonder if you're onto something with the noticing of fashion - though I can't imagine Steve would bend to the will of his teenage daughters. I had noticed that fall that some of the girls were layering a zip-front fleece vest over their jumpers w

I figured he got a job lot of them somewhere. lol

 

14 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

I was looking through the Maxwell photos. Abby appears to dress more conservatively like her aunts, whereas  Bethany and Tina wear more trendy fun clothes. I wonder if that’s a personal preference of Abby’s or pressure to be older than her age since She is the eldest child? 

Abby may have passed that landmark life change that makes her marriageable--i.e. got her period. Hence dressing like a "woman" now.

[MamaJunebug]

7 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I figured he got a job lot of them somewhere. lol

 

Abby may have passed that landmark life change that makes her marriageable--i.e. got her period. Hence dressing like a "woman" now.

I wonder how aware Abby is of her Aunt Grace Maher, a reasonably successful, working country music performer in Nashville. Grace’s wardrobe is adorable, appropriate for her work, and she’s got a fit body to rock it. Never looks particularly harlot-ish, just dressed for her work and style. 

I like to believe that the girls have whole separate wardrobes for when Mel & Nate take the passel o’kids to Maher Family gatherings or on their own family vacations sans the Max Monitors.

Maybe not skinny jeans & crop tops, but shorts, capris, t-shirts & tank tops. An old women's libber can dream. 

[Alisamer]

I know this is based entirely on looks, and heavily influenced by the people I know/have met - but to me Teri looks like the kind of woman who lives in khaki hiking shorts, a sleeveless t-shirt and Tevas or Keens, shops at the local smaller Whole Foods style grocery, volunteers frequently, and has hobbies like pottery and watercolor painting. 

I'm always fascinated by the idea of what these people would be like if they hadn't gone off the fundie deep end, and especially if they hadn't ended up marrying the people they did. I imagine Steve would still be a controlling ass, but probably in a different way. 

Like I feel like if Jrod's parents hadn't gone fundie, she'd have been a cheerleader and dated a lot in high school, married and had 2-3 kids (who do pageants as toddlers), and be that stylist at the hair salon that all the old ladies want to go to because she knows all the gossip.

It's a little sad to think of all these kids that could do and be so much, who are stuck in such narrow ruts.

[ElizaB]

In regards to the frumpers- I think two events were the catalyst for their demise: 

1.) Mary becoming a teenager 

              Mary who gets the label of the "creative" does a lot of the outfit coordinating/hair styling and cutting. I think when she became a teenager she found modest clothing out there that could fit their standards and not be frumper-tastic. 

2.) The end of touring

              While on tour they wanted to match and sewing their own outfits was the way to do this. It was also probably easy to say, "red frumper on Monday, Green on Tuesday and so on." This probably made packing and coordinating easy. When they stopped touring the stopped needing to match. This led to everyone picking the styles and clothes they liked. If you look back at the blog even in the earlier years you will see that even then they didn't always wear the frumpers. They did have other skirt outfits that they still wore. However, they always wore the matching frumpers at the conferences. In the old days this was a lot of their time and a lot of blog posts revolved around these trips. So we mostly saw them in these; however, they still did have other clothes. 

 

[Tatar-tot]

15 hours ago, usmcmom said:

In this episode of “When Two Worlds Collide”:

Somehow my Pinterest account ended up on Mennonite/Amish dress ideas and the Maxwell women popped up. 

Who on God’s green earth would want their wife and daughters dressed in such a hideous manner?

[nausicaa]

19 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

The tie is the absolute worst and as a Christian it tears me up to say that. It’s the bride’s day, Steve you cock of the walk.  Leave it to the officiating pastor to bear witness to Jesus in his church on the occasion of your new daughter-in-law’s and last son’s wedding ceremony.  

It also horribly clashes with the mother of the groom's outfit and the wedding colors. Get it together, Steve. 

Just now, Tatar-tot said:

Who on God’s green earth would want their wife and daughters dressed in such a hideous manner?

I still can't wrap my head around how they managed to get Sarah to not only appear in public like that, but be photographed. From age 12 to about 25, if you'd asked me to wear a matching asexual frumper with my mom and my younger sisters I would have died and disintegrated into the earth. 

My mom washed the wrong jeans for my first day of eighth grade CCD and I had to wear my old "baby" ones that had some small hearts embroidered on the front pockets. I distinctly remember trying to measure my breathing and not have a humiliation-induced stroke. (This was of course after fighting with my mom the entire drive there that dorky jeans were a more than valid reason to miss this orientation and I believe I may have threatened to jump out of the car.)

Anyway, Teen Nausicaa versus Steve would have been one hell of an epic showdown. 

32 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I know this is based entirely on looks, and heavily influenced by the people I know/have met - but to me Teri looks like the kind of woman who lives in khaki hiking shorts, a sleeveless t-shirt and Tevas or Keens, shops at the local smaller Whole Foods style grocery, volunteers frequently, and has hobbies like pottery and watercolor painting. 

I think this every time I see her. Alternate universe Teri is an ardent volunteer for the local Democratic committee when not running the master gardener table at the farmer's market. 

[Hane]

My pet theory is that Stevehovah overheard a fellow Headship poking fun at the frumper uniforms and saying something like, “Who’s going to want to marry girls who dress like that?” Did the style change occur around the time Mary’s unibrow went away? I keep thinking it did, but I may be wrong.