Maxwell 39: Like Sands Through an Hour Glass, so Are the Vests of Our Lives

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Why do I think they will decide "East, West, home's best" and buy a bi-level down the street so they can "call" a "work party" and everyone will help redo it? After all we talk about how controlling Steveo is so maybe this is a year off from living there? Maybe there's a house with someone ready to die on the street and they've saved her soul and got first dibs on buying it? Maybe the neighbors at his house had 12 yard dogs and worked on their truck at 2 am? [Been there]. And, on John and the first girl---we don't actually know that she had no say. My cousin is a decorator and today folks pick out all kinds of things online.

Anyway, GO JESSE! I think the new topic should be Wearing Their Vests In an Apartment For Fun

[Bethy]

5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I'm not sure Teri would have survived more than the kids they had, TBH. It seems like she was just barely getting by as it was. I don't know what form it might have taken, but I think she'd have been out of the picture somehow at some point. 

 

I truly think the only reason she survived the Reversals was that she had Sarah to sister-mom for her. And as it sounds the Maxmen are actually pretty well-versed in cooking and housekeeping, I'm sure Nate and Chris did some of the heavy lifting too. Plus "the Lord brought Steve home from the corporate work force" while the Reversals were still pretty young. If that happened in '97 Anna would've been about to turn five, with Jesse and Mary yet younger. I think if she'd attempted to pop out the last five immediately after the first three (presuming they didn't even increase to the double digits like some have conjectured they would've) she would've snapped and I don't really want to think about what that would've looked like.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Why do I think they will decide "East, West, home's best" and buy a bi-level down the street so they can "call" a "work party" and everyone will help redo it? After all we talk about how controlling Steveo is so maybe this is a year off from living there? Maybe there's a house with someone ready to die on the street and they've saved her soul and got first dibs on buying it? Maybe the neighbors at his house had 12 yard dogs and worked on their truck at 2 am? [Been there]. And, on John and the first girl---we don't actually know that she had no say. My cousin is a decorator and today folks pick out all kinds of things online.

Anyway, GO JESSE! I think the new topic should be Wearing Their Vests In an Apartment For Fun

Elizabeth was Joseph, not John.  I remember that house, if she had a say then she has taste like a leasing company fixing a place up for strangers...it was the kind of neutral style and colors you'd put in a rental.  

It's funny, style wise the Maxwell's neighborhood is near identical to mine and I did a double take the other day when they showed the back of Gigi's house as it looked so much like mine.  Although my yard isn't as nice as I don't have 100 bags of mulch and 900 relatives to landscape for me  

I think it would be hard to go back after you got your first taste of living outside the Maxwell fishbowl.

[kpmom]

9 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Why do I think they will decide "East, West, home's best" and buy a bi-level down the street so they can "call" a "work party" and everyone will help redo it? After all we talk about how controlling Steveo is so maybe this is a year off from living there?

Or, maybe they'll get to like a bit of independence?  It's possible.

And Jesse was the last brother at home, so (assume) he had an actual bedroom to himself for a couple of years.  Who knows what he discovered he could get up to without prying Maxwell sibling eyes around!

[Melissa1977]

18 minutes ago, zandria said:

should have known Jesse was different when he tweeted about attending a developers' conference in New Orleans. I work in the software industry and will attest such an environment would be about as far out of Steve's comfort zone as can be imagined

He went to Las Vegas with Joseph. Not saying they did anything wrong (AKA sin) there, but it was an IT conference and I doubt the other attendants were all fundie. Even if they only approached conservative ones, it must have broaded their minds. And well... if they were truly Maxwells they should have declined to go to Las Vegas, because NIKE! 

It's sad that Christopher was denied to be a paramedic(?) because it means work out of home (and with females), which are major red flags for Steve. But Joseph, John and Jesse can travel for work and it's ok? 

BUT (a big but) Anna comes from a fundie family, is very young and not working/studying. As far as we know, she may be Chelsy 2.0 willing to have a baby every 18 months. I hope they break free together, though.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

BUT (a big but) Anna comes from a fundie family, is very young and not working/studying.

Her elder sister has a BA in music, so she wasn't raised anti-higher ed.  It would be great if she was going to go to school and living in KC would make that a lot easier.

Or maybe they just wanted to be in closer driving distance to the spring Arndt classic.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

If they plan to just move right back to Maxhell when the year lease is up, why did he sell the house? It’s such a pain to sell a house. It would have been so much easier to just rent it out for a year, make the money back that you are spending on you KC apartment, and then move back into it in a year when you move back. It’s so similar to the other Maxwell homes that house a bunch of kids. Therefore they could fit in it for years. I honestly think they won’t move right back into the Maxhell neighborhood in a year. Maybe they will move to a suburb of KC. They can spend the year exploring all of KC while figuring out which part might be the best fit for them. That way they can keep attending their new church and they can still visit Maxhell on Sundays.

[Tatar-tot]

My guess is the minister who gave them premarital counseling encouraged them to carve out an identity as a couple including make a joint decision on their home.  I get the feeling that Anna 3.0 is no fool.  She is going to carve out a life for her and Jesse as a couple.  
 

I would not be surprised if they are both contemplating whether to stay in Kansas or go back to Ohio.  The apartment provides them an opportunity to independently decide what is best for them as a couple not as extended Maxwell family. 

[church_of_dog]

20 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

3nna

Perfect!

 

I'm having a chuckle just thinking of the multitude of ways in which their move is a big ol' FU to Daddy.

Of course there's the distance from the Borg compound and the rejection of the debt-free mandate.  

But it's not even a mortgage, but RENT!  The horror! 

Then there is the whole rejection of the skilled DIY mindset of doing all the maintenance and repairs yourself, instead leaving that to some maintenance company. 

But what I suspect chaps Stevie's Depends most of all is -- submission to the authority of a non-immediate-family landlord! 

OMG!  What if the landlord is FEMALE? 

[zandria]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

He went to Las Vegas with Joseph. Not saying they did anything wrong (AKA sin) there, but it was an IT conference and I doubt the other attendants were all fundie. Even if they only approached conservative ones, it must have broaded their minds. And well... if they were truly Maxwells they should have declined to go to Las Vegas, because NIKE! 

I'm referring to the October 9, 2017 tweet, accompanied by a picture of New Orleans:

A sight from the French Quarter of New Orleans. #cssdevconf

The hashtag refers to a CSS Developers' conference that I assume he attended in New Orleans. If you go through his timeline, you'll also find him attending Developers' conferences in Seattle and Texas.  I didn't even know about the one in Las Vegas. He gets out of the house more than I realized.

Here's the conference website: https://2017.cssdevconf.com/

If you scroll down to the speaker pictures, you'll see women, people of color, pink hair, day of the dead makeup...pretty typical developers' conference, but probably not typical of Jesse's day to day experience in Maxhell.

Edited June 25, 2020 by zandria

[browngrl]

Steve's hold on the collective -at least the younger ones, seems to be slipping.

Joseph appears to be distancing himself. John travels and presumably runs into women while on his travels. And now Jesse has moved to a city and rented an apartment. It is  getting harder to spin a perfect fundie family when Anna, Mary and Sarah remain single in a culture that fetishizes marriage and motherhood. The younger DIL's seem to keep themselves separate in a way the older DIL's did not. 

It could all be appearance but Steve himself appears frail and fragile - someone who has to be cared for not someone leading. At times Teri almost seems to be holding him up. I wonder if all the "raising men" posts lately are not Steve's desperate attempt to hold onto control. 

I suspect the Maxwells will remain fundie but the balance of power seems to be shifting and I wonder where it will end up? Maybe they'll allow spicy flavourful tacos while watching a game on tv. Nah, that's going too far.

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Her elder sister has a BA in music, so she wasn't raised anti-higher ed.  It would be great if she was going to go to school and living in KC would make that a lot easier.

That would be amazing! Teri/Sarah can spout on their blog “God hasn’t chosen to bless them with children yet” while 3nna* gets an education. Or better yet, both of them are going to school! We’ll never hear about it, of course, but I hope they’re truly breaking free. It’s so out of Maxwell-character that I wonder how much more is going on that Steve isn’t allowing on the blog. 
 

*thanks, @SolomonFundy

[JermajestyDuggar]

None of the Maxwell sons had a baby born before their first wedding anniversary. I really hope Jesse keeps up that trend. 

[PennySycamore]

20 hours ago, Bethy said:

I looked up Carole Jackson's book and the cover doesn't ring a bell. However I can't remember the title/author of the one I'm thinking of and searching for it has...not been a fruitful use of time.

ETA: FOUND IT/THEM: I definitely remember "Dress with Style" being around the house, and it appears Joanne Wallace IS a Christian author. However I also seem to remember a more heavy-handed book called "Beauty and the Best" which follows since its author, Beneth Peters Jones, was married to Bob Jones III.

Are you sure it's Sarah? It says Teri is the author and it's not signed "Love, Sarah" like her posts often (but not always) are. And she's probably even more upset about it than Sarah is, so...

You didn't need to write more than Beneth for me to recognize that you were talking about the wife of Bob Jones III.   She used to have a short radio program in the afternoon on WMUU FM which used to be the BJU radio station.  

[MamaJunebug]

When did Jesse sell the rental in Leavenworth? It’s been a seller’s market around here and houses are going for full asking price if not more. 

He may have had a tidy cash windfall to invest! I’m with all those who are hoping he and 3nna (love!!) make their life where they want to be, not just within a 14-minute walk from The Family. 

[SPHASH]

Someone is still bitter, won't even call 3nna by her name:

Valeria says:

June 24, 2020 at 9:15 am

I like that they’re moving a little bit away from family. I think it’s always good to leave home for a bit, find some independence and discover new places. I lived in Spain for 6 months by myself. It was so much fun and I miss it dearly.
I think this will be a great experience for the newlyweds, and the good thing for you parents is that Jesse and Anna won’t be as far away as I was 

Reply

Teri Maxwell says:

June 24, 2020 at 10:17 am

Our marrieds who have chosen to stay in town have done well developing their independence first as couple and then as a family. Jesse and his bride chart a new path by moving further away, but as you said, not nearly as far as Spain!

Reply

 

 

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[Queen Of Hearts]

5 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

 

But what I suspect chaps Stevie's Depends most of all is -- submission to the authority of a non-immediate-family landlord! 

 

I actually thinks what chaps Steve's Depends most of all is that we found out about Jesse's move!

[Melissa1977]

7 hours ago, zandria said:

I'm referring to the October 9, 2017 tweet, accompanied by a picture of New Orleans

Sorry, I forgot the word "also" in my post. I meant that Jesse has also been in Las Vegas. So a lot of new experiences for them, which can open (a little small tiny bit) their minds.

[SolomonFundy]

Teri's really burning up her supply of comments on this one. I can't recall her being so active on a post in recent months. And it does my bitter heart good to see her annoyance at all of the support for 3nna and Jesse. Pretty much everyone has tactfully said something along the lines of "oh, that will be really good for them!" and she just swings in with a wrothful comment about how they are into "new experiences". 

 

I would also resent the hell out of a standing family meal every week, but Jesse knows the score, and hopefully, 3nna has seen enough over the course of their courtship to realize that a single day of Maxwelling every week is a significant improvement over having them crawling all over the house every morning, noon, and night without warning. Steve has had the luxury of deploying his unmarried house-cleaning daughters for years to investigate the dark corners of their married siblings' lives. Good grief... just the knowledge that there won't be unlimited family access to their apartment because there are only two keys (probably) is a massive improvement.

[CyborgKin]

On 6/24/2020 at 12:49 PM, CyborgKin said:

Yeah Sarah's writing in this post immediately struck me as being exceedingly flat and empty.

It's entirely lacking in descriptive adjectives and adverbs!

She has to be either shocked or very begrudging.

I of course mean Teri (oops).  That makes more sense.

18 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

The Max's value laborious, painstaking tasks. Does it bring you joy? Then don't do it! Their life is like a reverse Marie Kondo. 

This calls for some image editing which I don't have the time to do.

Teri Kondo: holds up Pepsi bottle. "This sparks joy." Tosses it away.

Teri Kondo: holds up Boring Times with the Moodys. "This does not spark joy." Keeps it.

Edited June 25, 2020 by CyborgKin
for Teri Kondo

[BlessingsVonFundiePants]

I’m loving the comments that people are putting on this post on Tits2. ? they are all so positive about the joys of joining an new church and Terri is so Begrudgingly responding to them ??

[NoseyNellie]

Committing to a few hours on Sunday is NOTHING.. when you have not had to see and be seen the rest of the week!  When you have to drive a distance both ways YOU are able to set the schedule... for your life... 

And that comment by Terri is so telling.. She is PISSED that her baby is not coming home to roost!  Replying that the other MARRIED have managed to carve out independence.. ummm no they have not.. not when at ANY moment someone is likely to walk by, to stop in to swiffer the fans, drop off some fresh made tortillas, verify the FAMILY calendar schedule..

[browngrl]

10 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Teri Maxwell says:

June 24, 2020 at 10:17 am

Our marrieds who have chosen to stay in town have done well developing their independence first as couple and then as a family. Jesse and his bride chart a new path by moving further away, but as you said, not nearly as far as Spain!

I had to put on a sweater because I got such a chill from Teri's response

[fundiefan]

Teri is always cold & short in her responses - most of them are. Rarely do they actually engage with any comment. 

But I definitely sense some bitterness in her responses to Jesse living in an apartment.

Here's the thing I can't wrap my head around - in what universe (other than Maxhell, obviously) does it freaking matter how your offspring choose to live? When there are not issues like addiction or refusal to work or abusive partners, what your grown, adult son chooses to do with his life is - well, his choice. Why did they have to even make a post about it? Why does it matter at all? 

In the world outside Maxhell, your offspring get married, you are happy for him/her, they are creating a life and home with their new spouse, you're looking forward to their future. 

Only in Maxhell is the fact that a grown adult son choosing to live in an apartment further than a mile from his parents something even worth mentioning.

[SassyPants]

6 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Teri is always cold & short in her responses - most of them are. Rarely do they actually engage with any comment. 

But I definitely sense some bitterness in her responses to Jesse living in an apartment.

Here's the thing I can't wrap my head around - in what universe (other than Maxhell, obviously) does it freaking matter how your offspring choose to live? When there are not issues like addiction or refusal to work or abusive partners, what your grown, adult son chooses to do with his life is - well, his choice. Why did they have to even make a post about it? Why does it matter at all? 

In the world outside Maxhell, your offspring get married, you are happy for him/her, they are creating a life and home with their new spouse, you're looking forward to their future. 

Only in Maxhell is the fact that a grown adult son choosing to live in an apartment further than a mile from his parents something even worth mentioning.

This is why I think these types of family environments employ brainwashing tactics that might be considered abuse. Sarah is nearing 40 and her life’s activities are dictated by her father, WT ever loving H! This is not healthy at all- Jesse’s decisions are likely  even stressing the hell out of Steve and Teri, so the lifestyle isn’t even healthy for the rule makers!