Maxwell 39: Like Sands Through an Hour Glass, so Are the Vests of Our Lives

[anjulibai]

That post is also very unemotional and withdrawn, very different from when the other brothers married. I don't think Maxhell is particularly happy about this union, for a variety of reasons. 

I also bet, given Teri's reply to a commenter about the post, that she and Steve think Jesse and Anna will hate living in an apartment. 

[nvmbr02]

5 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I also bet, given Teri's reply to a commenter about the post, that she and Steve think Jesse and Anna will hate living in an apartment. 

I got that impression as well.

To be honest, I prefer apartment or townhome living even though we live in a single family home currently. I do think having a yard for the kids (though less of an issue now that my kids are older) and the dogs in nice, but I also hate yard work so not having to deal with that is nice. On the other hand, my husband really likes having a yard and a bit more privacy. Eventually when the kids move out we will probably compromise and get a townhome that has a small back yard.

[SPHASH]

Good on Jesse for getting away from the compound at least temporarily.  I always thought it would be John that would move away when he married Chelsy.  And Teri does not sound happy at all over this.  So when are the wedding pics going to be posted.

Edited June 23, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[JermajestyDuggar]

Steve is so obsessed with young men buying a home debt free when marrying that this must bug him so much. Jesse pulled a fast one on Steve and I can’t help but smile like the Cheshire Cat over it. Jesse bought a house debt free near Maxhell. He fixed it up and rented it out for extra income. All things Steve pushes on a Maxwell son of marriageable age. However he pulled a fast one by flipping the house for profit and moving out of Maxhell to a larger city, a new church, and an apartment! His son will be sharing walls with heathens! What if they become friends with those heathens? What if they watch tv, wear contrasting buttons, and drink Pepsi?!? Yes, I’m enjoying this too much. 

[fundiefan]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

It's pretty ridiculous that they are financially trapped. Sarah's written several books - that money should be hers. Anna has apparently worked for her brothers' businesses, she should have some money. I wouldn't expect either to have a ton, but living at home with all other expenses covered? They should have SOME. 

Things in Maxwell-land are so curated there's no telling what the truth is, but I find it hard to believe that the boys are all able to save up enough to buy a house debt-free, yet the girls are completely financially trapped. Why can't they buy themselves a house? Or move in with Gigi? Or get an apartment? Or anything at all, really. 

I know the answer is "Steve".

 But really. Even the two oldest Rod girls got to take and graduate from a Bible class. Have any of the Maxwell girls ever been shown to take a class? Art? Photography? A writing workshop? Anything?

They should have a LOT. Given the boys get to stay at home rent free & save all their pennies for a house without a mortgage, the girls should be doing the same. Of course we know they don't make the same money and probaby have a lot of daddy restrictions on what they do make - I don't think Mary & Ann are paid to be sister mom's for their sisters-in-law and "Annie" no doubt gets paid a pittance to be her brother's help desk. But, since they claim all three girls actually work, their savings should be building pretty damn well without general living expenses. Especially Sarah's since she's been  a "working" adult for 20 years. 

[PennySycamore]

@Sops2, I am so impressed that you still have your booklet of colors!  I never got one because 30 years ago, we did not have the  money.  I did have my colors done by a LLL Leader who was also a Color Me Beautiful consultant at an International LLL Conference though.  I'm a Winter.  I am my second copy of Carole Jackson's book, though.  I found one at a used bookstore a few years ago so I replaced my ratty, torn-up copy which I'd had for years.  @Bethy, I can't really recall any God talk in the book, but I think there was an emphasis on finding what naturally suits you.  

I do think that Ms Jackson got a bit carried away with the style advice and, man, when she tried to tell us what form of stationary we should have based on our coloring,  I thought frankly she was off her rocker.  I don't want stationary with a silver monogram, thank you very much.  

I don't think what I'm wearing today would meet her test either: black yoga pants with a lavender kurta.  Silver earrings peace sign earrings though.    What can I say?  I'm an old hippie!

ETA: @Bethy,  I think there was something like Color Me Beautiful in the early 80s that was explicitly Christian.  

Edited June 23, 2020 by PennySycamore

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Sarah has always struck me as emotionally fragile, although I really can't put my finger on why exactly.

Anna may wish to be married, but many people wish to be married at her age and haven't met anyone yet.  She is only a catch by the standards of a very small subset of fundies.  To everyone else she's a giant red flag given the pathological co-dependence in their family.  (and even if she would like to break away she's not in a position to telegraph that.)

Given how small the courting pool would be for her I could see her staying forever single even if Steve wasn't a huge obstacle (which he absolutely would be if there were someone in whom she was interested and it was mutual.)  

Mary, however, is (I think) still young enough to catch the eye of a younger guy also early 20's who might want to get married and play house without seeing how completely dysfunctional that family is.  

Bolded mine - I totally agree, but sadly you can't rebel without money and a means to support yourself.  Unless Anna and Mary were to leave the fold together and get by on lower paying jobs at first they'll both be as financially trapped as Sarah.

 

See, I’m not buying this because Steve is able to find brides for his sons, and those fathers have to release their daughters to Steve and MaxHell. I’d think it would be harder to find a father/daughter combo willing  to agree to MaxHell vs a male swooping in to free a Maxwell female. THIS is ALL on STEVE. 

[browngrl]

re: Jesse and Anna 3.0 - I hope this is what happened: Anna 3.0 told Jesse that she'd prefer to live outside of Stevetown. Jesse thought about it and realized that he too wanted more than Steve's world. Then the two of them decided to sell the house, use the money for their own ends and then chose an apartment together. 

re: getting your colours done  

I did that in the 80's- not at a party but by reading the books and following instructions. Based on their criteria I should be a winter and jewel tones should work for me. They really don't . It took me ages to figure out I have a warm, slightly olive undertone and muted colouring. What suits me best: browns and baby poop colours like yellow- greens, mustards etc.  I've come to see that the whole colours concept as it was taught in the 80's, is really better suited to lighter skin tones than mine. I hope they have updated their catagories to be more inclusive but since I've already figured out what suits me I've not bothered to recheck.

[Hane]

Re the “seasons” coloring that started becoming popular in the ‘80s: My blue-eyed, pink-cheeked MIL insisted she was an “autumn,” and always wore earth tones like beige, brown, and rust, which really didn’t look good on her, though I never said anything because it was none of my business. She wasn’t the type to shrug and say she just wore colors she liked—she needed external justification to “prove” she was right and everyone else was wrong.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

See, I’m not buying this because Steve is able to find brides for his sons, and those fathers have to release their daughters to Steve and MaxHell. I’d think it would be harder to find a father/daughter combo willing  to agree to MaxHell vs a male swooping in to free a Maxwell female. THIS is ALL on STEVE. 

I’m not saying he isn’t blocking the girls.  I’m sure he is.

All I am saying is that even if Steve were the most welcoming and pro- marriage for his daughters as a man can be she might still be alone right now.  Plenty of fundie maidens found there wasn’t a line of suitors waiting for them when they were ready for marriage.  Allison bontrager wrote like a bitter old spinster dating her brothers until recently.

[PennySycamore]

24 minutes ago, browngrl said:

re: Jesse and Anna 3.0 - I hope this is what happened: Anna 3.0 told Jesse that she'd prefer to live outside of Stevetown. Jesse thought about it and realized that he too wanted more than Steve's world. Then the two of them decided to sell the house, use the money for their own ends and then chose an apartment together. 

re: getting your colours done  

I did that in the 80's- not at a party but by reading the books and following instructions. Based on their criteria I should be a winter and jewel tones should work for me. They really don't . It took me ages to figure out I have a warm, slightly olive undertone and muted colouring. What suits me best: browns and baby poop colours like yellow- greens, mustards etc.  I've come to see that the whole colours concept as it was taught in the 80's, is really better suited to lighter skin tones than mine. I hope they have updated their catagories to be more inclusive but since I've already figured out what suits me I've not bothered to recheck.

Someone or maybe several people built on the whole Color Me Beautiful concept and subdivided the seasons in three subtypes of each season.  I think that worked better for a lot of people.  Color analysis seems have gone the way of the dodo.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, PennySycamore said:

Someone or maybe several people built on the whole Color Me Beautiful concept and subdivided the seasons in three subtypes of each season.  I think that worked better for a lot of people.  Color analysis seems have gone the way of the dodo.  

I wouldn’t be surprised if it made a little comeback at some point in the next decade. So much stuff comes back in style.

[browngrl]

18 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wouldn’t be surprised if it made a little comeback at some point in the next decade. So much stuff comes back in style.

I'm active on reddit makeup subs and over the last year or so I've noticed that there have been questions about the colour system popping up more frequently. So, I think you're right. 

[SolomonFundy]

I'm sure Jesse and 3nna sold this as a "soul winning" opportunity since they will be in close quarters with lots of hell-bound unrepentant pew fodder in the apartment complex. But part of me wonders if this is being allowed because it has been tried before. John's whereabouts were sketchy in the two years before he married Chelsy. I wonder if he maybe had an apartment as part of some kind of inter-familial arrangement, or if possibly one of the Maxwives experienced apartment life before marriage and endorsed it. 

Regardless, it's great. John and Chelsy strike me as the type to move closer to her family at the earliest opportunity, and basically, Jesse has paved the way for that. 

[CyborgKin]

Yeah Sarah's writing in this post immediately struck me as being exceedingly flat and empty.

It's entirely lacking in descriptive adjectives and adverbs!

She has to be either shocked or very begrudging.

[Bethy]

6 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Sops2, I am so impressed that you still have your booklet of colors!  I never got one because 30 years ago, we did not have the  money.  I did have my colors done by a LLL Leader who was also a Color Me Beautiful consultant at an International LLL Conference though.  I'm a Winter.  I am my second copy of Carole Jackson's book, though.  I found one at a used bookstore a few years ago so I replaced my ratty, torn-up copy which I'd had for years.  @Bethy, I can't really recall any God talk in the book, but I think there was an emphasis on finding what naturally suits you.  

ETA: @Bethy,  I think there was something like Color Me Beautiful in the early 80s that was explicitly Christian.  

I looked up Carole Jackson's book and the cover doesn't ring a bell. However I can't remember the title/author of the one I'm thinking of and searching for it has...not been a fruitful use of time.

ETA: FOUND IT/THEM: I definitely remember "Dress with Style" being around the house, and it appears Joanne Wallace IS a Christian author. However I also seem to remember a more heavy-handed book called "Beauty and the Best" which follows since its author, Beneth Peters Jones, was married to Bob Jones III.

2 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Yeah Sarah's writing in this post immediately struck me as being exceedingly flat and empty.

It's entirely lacking in descriptive adjectives and adverbs!

She has to be either shocked or very begrudging.

Are you sure it's Sarah? It says Teri is the author and it's not signed "Love, Sarah" like her posts often (but not always) are. And she's probably even more upset about it than Sarah is, so...

Edited June 24, 2020 by Bethy
remembered the thing I couldn't remember

[mango_fandango]

I’m part of another online forum where they have a style and beauty section where people sometimes post threads about their colours. I’ve done a couple of online quizzes for the lulz and I’m usually an autumn, and would apparently look good in brown... I don’t want to walk round in poo colours thanks. I guess it’s difficult to do online, though. 
 

And yeah, living in Kansas City in an apartment is very, very different to what the other brothers have done. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

All I can say is... GO JESSE!!!!!!

[Melissa1977]

13 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Have any of the Maxwell girls ever been shown to take a class

When Anna discussed college with her parents, she was encouraged to stay at home. Not even online college was an option. Of course she found it a great idea and thanked her parents. Kool-aid overdose.

Edit to add that Maxwells writing a whole post about the no-college for Anna makes me think that it was a big issue at Maxhell. Anna may be academically bright (Teri was) and if she was brave enough to ask about college, in my opinion she felt confident about herself. Now she cooks leftovers and babysit nephews... I wonder if she resents.

Mary's passion and ability was sewing. She could have studied clothing design or some trade related to sewing. As a consequence of her focus on sewing, it was banned as a hobbie and she was encouraged to draw (which she likes less than sewing).

It has also been stated that Sarah started writing books because daddy said so, not because it was her decision. 

Edited June 24, 2020 by Melissa1977
Add information

[Melissa1977]

7 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Regardless, it's great. John and Chelsy strike me as the type to move closer to her family at the earliest opportunity, and basically, Jesse has paved the way for that

John and Chelsy moving near Bontragers would not improve their lives. It's leaving Maxhell to move to Bonhell. It can piss Steve, but that's all.

Jesse moving to a new city, it's a whole different story. Now it depends if she gets pregnant in the honeymoon or she finds a job. If a young couple plans to be quiverful, staying in a house with a lawn, near the family, would be the best idea. So I wonder if they plan a bit different future.

[browngrl]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

John and Chelsy moving near Bontragers would not improve their lives

It would improve their lives in one way: better food. Judging by the pictures they post, the Bonts can cook. At the very least their food looks more appetizing than anything the Maxwell's have posted. It would still be hellish but at least there would be cake. ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would love for John and Chelsy to move to a larger city but I don’t think that’s likely. Steve knows that the free childcare is so necessary in the quiverful life. Therefore John and Chelsy will likely always live near one of the families. Their first two children are only 17 months apart. Chelsy’s mother had 10 kids. I’m guessing John and Chelsy will have around 9 total. They need help watching those kids and likely can’t afford a regular babysitter. It’s either Maxhell or Bon-trigger. Jesse was smart in doing the apartment living the first year because he knew a baby wouldn’t arrive for the first 9 months. 

[usedbicycle]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

When Anna discussed college with her parents, she was encouraged to stay at home. Not even online college was an option. Of course she found it a great idea and thanked her parents. Kool-aid overdose.

Edit to add that Maxwells writing a whole post about the no-college for Anna makes me think that it was a big issue at Maxhell. Anna may be academically bright (Teri was) and if she was brave enough to ask about college, in my opinion she felt confident about herself. Now she cooks leftovers and babysit nephews... I wonder if she resents.

Mary's passion and ability was sewing. She could have studied clothing design or some trade related to sewing. As a consequence of her focus on sewing, it was banned as a hobbie and she was encouraged to draw (which she likes less than sewing).

It has also been stated that Sarah started writing books because daddy said so, not because it was her decision. 

What a novel parenting philosophy - stifle your children's natural abilities, crush their modest dreams!

The results speak for themselves: 5 sons with the exact same career in IT and no hobbies or special abilities that we know of except for home repair and maintenance, a "writer" daughter who can't write a coherent paragraph, and two daughters with the creative outlets of a 10 year-old (ballons, face painting, drawing, card making...)

To a commenter who asked if Mary sells her hand painted signs, Teri's responds: "No, those plaques are labors of love and very time consuming!"

The Max's value laborious, painstaking tasks. Does it bring you joy? Then don't do it! Their life is like a reverse Marie Kondo. 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I do think it would be impossible to sell her plaques for a price that is worth all the time spent to make them. People can get mass produced signs just like that for cheap. And that’s what most people in the US want. They don’t want to pay $100 for a plaque they can buy online for $30.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 hours ago, browngrl said:

It would improve their lives in one way: better food. Judging by the pictures they post, the Bonts can cook. At the very least their food looks more appetizing than anything the Maxwell's have posted. It would still be hellish but at least there would be cake. ?

I had the exact same thought!