Lori Alexander 58: A Family Holiday on the Toilet

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

I'm with you on the old school door stopper irons. There's nothing better for heavyweight cottons. Although, I would love to have the Rowenta with the narrow tip for garment making but they're so expensive. Or maybe an Oliso. Eventually I'll break down and shell out the money. 

I don’t typically iron- DH usually does. About 8 years ago, our cheap black and decker iron died. He likes to research those types of purchases, and we had to hit every store in town that sold irons. It was an all afternoon process- and we ultimately ended up with a Rowenta. I still can’t believe how much we paid for that thing, but it truly is worth it. It is so much easier to maneuver than the one that died, and it does a better job. I balked at the price and he told me since he does the little bit of ironing we have, he got to pick the iron. 

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I don’t typically iron- DH usually does.

Mr. SB irons like a champ. My ex also was an excellent ironer, did all his own LEO shirts. My mom ironed for me, and she was trained the old-school iron on the stove way. All of them produced results that looked like the dry cleaners, a wrinkle didn't have a chance. I put extra wrinkles in when I iron, I just don't have the patience for all that moving and smoothing, and I'm heat sensitive also. These folks have been wonderful additions to my life, LOL.

[wallysmommy]

Hark!  The Oracle of California speaks! 

"Women just need to be told God's will for them and how wonderful it is. Not enough older women are doing this, sadly. There will always be those who have soft and teachable hearts to the truth like you!"

Bold is my emphasis.  I don't need some nitwit in California to tell me God's will.  He can speak directly to me without an intermediary.  Older women are not necessarily wiser than their younger counterparts.  Yes, wisdom CAN come with age, but I know some pretty smart women in their 20s and 30s.  More of her categorical stereotyping based on wearing her judgmental blinders.

 

[Koala]

Lori Alexander:

Quote

many women just let themselves go once they are married and expect their “Christian” husbands to be faithful

Wha??? They expect their husbands NOT to have affairs?  How ridiculous is that?!  Just goes to prove what you (Lori) say about expectations...too many wives putting such an unfair burden on their precious husbands.

Quote

Even though I wasn’t a submissive wife to my husband for many years, I still wanted to be attractive to him.

Of course you did!  I am sure Wandering Eye Alexander has no reason to stray.

Everyone take note- if you don't want your husband to stray, Lori has set the example on being attractive for our husbands.

If you don't meet this minimum, don't be surprised when they are FORCED to cheat.

[EowynW]

Yikes. I'm getting flashbacks to my mom telling I should work harder to lose weight (this was pre marriage) because "Mr. EW is a young man and it's wrong to expect him to be interested in a girl heavy like his mom." 

 I forget how damaging stuff like this is until it's resurfaced in these Lori threads. 

[Koala]

Side note- I REALLY hate to say that...it just pisses me off to no end, when Lori blames women for their sorry cheating husbands.

 

2 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Yikes. I'm getting flashbacks to my mom telling I should work harder to lose weight (this was pre marriage) because "Mr. EW is a young man and it's wrong to expect him to be interested in a girl heavy like his mom." 

 I forget how damaging stuff like this is until it's resurfaced in these Lori threads. 

Honey, no offense, but your mama is full of crap.  Your husband obviously loves you just the way you are, or he wouldn't have married you in the first place.  I am 100% you are beautiful to him, and your mom is just reflecting her own insecurities.  Don't let her get to you.

[smittykins]

I used to have a stepfather who flat-out told me that no man would ever want me because I was fat.  Not only did I prove him wrong, one of my proudest moments was when we ran into him at Walmart and me saying, "This is my husband."

[EowynW]

23 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I used to have a stepfather who flat-out told me that no man would ever want me because I was fat.  Not only did I prove him wrong, one of my proudest moments was when we ran into him at Walmart and me saying, "This is my husband."

My Dad said "oh she'll never find a husband letting herself go like that." I cried about that and my Mom said "don't take it so hard, you know he's right." I mentally said "Fuck You" to my parents driving away from the church on my wedding day because I DID IT. 

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

23 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

There are a lot of comments now underneath Lori commented..it doesn't bother her at all.

Oh my word y'all! I just read that post that was linked. I just can't...

What I don't get is why any man would want a relationship like that. Why do the MRA types want women they essentially have to "babysit"?  I would think that would be exhausting. 

It's hard enough keeping track of my teenagers. I sure wouldn't want to have to do that for a grown a$$ adult.

I know it's all about control, but it still sounds exhausting. How can a man working a dozen jobs have time to control so much?

[refugee]

25 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Oh my word y'all! I just read that post that was linked. I just can't...

What I don't get is why any man would want a relationship like that. Why do the MRA types want women they essentially have to "babysit"?  I would think that would be exhausting. 

It's hard enough keeping track of my teenagers. I sure wouldn't want to have to do that for a grown a$$ adult.

I know it's all about control, but it still sounds exhausting. How can a man working a dozen jobs have time to control so much?

My guess: because they’re angry. It gives him someone to abuse when she doesn’t follow all his instructions perfectly to the letter. It makes him feel better for being a pos that he can make someone else twice as miserable as he is, and then he can even blame it all on her.

They are miserable human beings in more than one sense of the word. 

ETA: in other words, none of these MRA types is a “man”. Probably never got out of the terrible twos.

[Imrlgoddess]

This law firm article has some great stats on divorce, not that Lori or her ilk would ever pay attention to it.  Seems like their 80% isn't set in stone, the percentage this firm throws out is 66-75% for woman initiated divorce.  And the no. 1 reason?  "Lack of commitment".  Infidelity is actually third on the top 8 list of reasons.   Sadly, "abuse" is the last and it only makes up 25% of the most common reasons.  Apparently marrying young doesn't save you from the big D, neither does living in poverty and struggling together.  Both of those factors had higher divorce rates than people who waited until after 25 and had good median incomes.  

Give it a gander, it's a good read at the very least:

https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

[Koala]

I guess it just depends on what you value- love or money.

My husband has provided for me since I was 17 years old- we've been married right at 20 years.  I've never worked a day since I was 17, and likely never will again.

That said, IF I had to go to work tomorrow, and work each day for the rest of my life, I would STILL be the luckiest woman on earth.  Why?  Because it's having him that makes me lucky, not having the money he brings home.  He's what matters to me.

I guess the same way you claim to do it, even though you monitor the internet for a "majority of the day".  

The difference?  Those women aren't lazy like you are, Lori.

As for saying "she can't", what happened to "with God, all things are possible"?  That's what you are always telling women when you're trying to put some unattainable legalistic burden on them.  It seems you only drop that line when "she can" means they would be violating Lori's Law.

[Lisafer]

3 hours ago, smittykins said:

I used to have a stepfather who flat-out told me that no man would ever want me because I was fat.  Not only did I prove him wrong, one of my proudest moments was when we ran into him at Walmart and me saying, "This is my husband."

A good man loves you for who you are! And not only that, there's plenty of men who are attracted to a larger figure. Assuming all men want a stick-thin "supermodel" physique is such b.s.

[Katzchen24]

6 hours ago, Koala said:

Even though I wasn’t a submissive wife to my husband for many years, I still wanted to be attractive to him.

Interesting how Lori equates submission to attractiveness in her quote above (they aren't @Koala's words but Lori's. I'm still trying to get the hang of quotations on FJ, sorry). I know I'm making a bit of a generalisation, but women like her are a reason why so many women like me wrestle with self-doubt and anxiety. This awful person is just adding an extra layer of expectations to the already heavy burden of be slim, be pretty, be 'feminine' - we should be meek, be submissive, be opinionless, be an accessory to your man. 

I expect my partner to be faithful whatever the circumstances. This relationship is ours to nurture, not just mine or his.

[SongRed7]

Another thing that bothers me about the post today:

Lori: "Ken and I had taken a long walk earlier that morning and I was sharing with him how many women just let themselves go once they are married and expect their “Christian” husbands to be faithful. They can treat their husbands however they want because they know their Christians husband would “never” leave them."

 

We already know Ken and Lori have an abnormal relationship, but this is more evidence. (bolding is mine for emphasis) When my husband and I have a lone time, we talk about the kids, upcoming events, things happening at work, the weather, funny stories we heard, the well-being of friends or relatives who may be going through difficult circumstances, what we are doing on the weekend, etc.    Who spends their together/alone time with their spouse/partner discussing other people's so-called "failings" and then refer to it as "sharing" information.   That is just whack.  

[klein_roeschen]

6 hours ago, EowynW said:

Yikes. I'm getting flashbacks to my mom telling I should work harder to lose weight (this was pre marriage) because "Mr. EW is a young man and it's wrong to expect him to be interested in a girl heavy like his mom." 

 I forget how damaging stuff like this is until it's resurfaced in these Lori threads. 

Bullshit like these brought me to over 300 lb at my heaviest. I still sometimes hear the voice of my overweight herself mother about eating less to loose weight, because men want pretty girls.  One of the reasons why I'm still single and will most likely stay that way is partly because of what she said and the feeling of worthlessness she gave me. And I learned early to swallow that with food, because an overfull stomach made the bad feelings hurt less. But thanks to therapy I'm on my way to make peace with that.

 

2 hours ago, refugee said:

My guess: because they’re angry. It gives him someone to abuse when she doesn’t follow all his instructions perfectly to the letter. It makes him feel better for being a pos that he can make someone else twice as miserable as he is, and then he can even blame it all on her.

They are miserable human beings in more than one sense of the word. 

ETA: in other words, none of these MRA types is a “man”. Probably never got out of the terrible twos.

I think it's more about power. They want to controll their wifes, because they can't controll anyone other. Out in the world, people react to them with disgust at their thinking and behavour and give them a piece of their mind. But not so at home. With controlling every move of their wifes they have a power over them and they enjoy the fear they instill in them.

[EowynW]

My mom was/is overweight too. My dad is a twig. 

I'm currently at my heaviest weight ever. I have some health issues that make me easy to gain and slow to lose, but I also have some fucked up thinking about it all too. The first time I made a serious weight loss attempt it was to get Mr. EW to "notice me" (thank you Mother) the second time it was "to look good in your dress and in front of everyone at the wedding and WEDDING NIGHT NAKEDNESS" pressure applied by my mom and also by myself, thanks to fundie teachings about men and sex and in sheer panic at the whole "men are visual and you have to look good for them and don't disappoint them." I realized this week that I have never lost weight for me. Because I am worth it. Maybe I'll get up the courage to try a third time. My mom is already gently pressuring me to lose because GRANDBABIES now. 

FJ has been so therapeutic for me. 

[Botkinetti]

I am Lori’s age so if any of you want some advice from a decidedly non-godly older woman it is this. Don’t be like Lori.

Try to be kind to yourself and other people.  Realize you are enough. Cultivate loving relationships with a wide variety of people. 

Lori and women like her get great momentary  joy from tearing down other women in a vain attempt to feel as if they have all the answers. She does not and is becoming even more of a caricature with every passing day. She has dreadful relationships. 

 

[kmachete14]

Never understood that line of thinking. 

Fundie men are surrounded by women who are dressed modestly and women who have had 8+ children and no longer look the way they did on their wedding night. 

Their own mothers have become quite matronly looking.

They have never watched or looked at pornography. 

So, shouldn't their "visuals" be their wife's body only?? I can't imagine a man looking at the ONLY FEMALE NAKED BODY he has EVER seen or f*cked and being disgusted that their wife "let things go." 

Boobies are boobies and poon is poon I mean it looks good if that's all you know, right???? 

Perhaps he may be concerned for mental or physical health reasons if she suddenly ballooned up/ couldn't get out of bed to do anything, but would that make him CHEAT???

And if a man doesn't like his wife's natural hair and natural, makeup-free face, there's a bigger issue.

Maybe I am totally wrong and any men on here can correct me. 

 

[AuntKrazy]

I had been reading the Bro' Gary thread, and it was noted that Bro' Gary is the fundie on FJ who is "most likely to accidentally summon a demon".  I couldn't help but mentally flash to Lori's in the dark videos and think that she is the fundie most likely to be mistaken for a demon. . . 

@EowynW I know where you are coming from.  I never started losing weight and kept it off until I gave up dieting completely (strange, I know).  I have a doctor now who tells me that weight is just one of my numbers; so I focus on the rest of the numbers instead.  She has helped me in so many ways (which led to her being the first one I ever felt comfortable enough to ask for antidepressants)  But she has helped me switch to a mindset of developing lifelong-sustainable healthy habits.  Part of it was sitting down with me and talking to me about my health issues and indicating that while losing weight would help, the yo-yo-ing up and down of weight with dieting was worse.  She said "I want you to focus on being strong and healthy for the life you want to live."  I only lose about .5 to 1 lb per month - but it's the right direction and - most importantly for me, it's living fully in a way I want to keep living.  For the first time, it's been about living life fully instead of feeling like I should be punished or hidden away because of my weight.

I think that's why Lori's perspective is so damaging - it's about punishing those who don't meet standards instead of about bringing health and healing.

 

[Briefly]

19 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I don’t typically iron- DH usually does. About 8 years ago, our cheap black and decker iron died. He likes to research those types of purchases, and we had to hit every store in town that sold irons. It was an all afternoon process- and we ultimately ended up with a Rowenta. I still can’t believe how much we paid for that thing, but it truly is worth it. It is so much easier to maneuver than the one that died, and it does a better job. I balked at the price and he told me since he does the little bit of ironing we have, he got to pick the iron. 

Mr. Briefly will switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer, empty the dryer and put the clothes up.  But he doesn't generally iron.  Most of our clothes are things that don't need ironing.  I usually do what little we need.  I don't particularly enjoy it.  I had not even thought about the fact that my iron is not very heavy and that may have a lot to do with why it's so hard to iron a few cotton blouses I have.  Something else I learned here!

[Maggie Mae]

10 hours ago, Koala said:

Everyone take note- if you don't want your husband to stray, Lori has set the example on being attractive for our husbands.

If you don't meet this minimum, don't be surprised when they are FORCED to cheat.

At least it's not a hard standard. Maybe she should use some of her organic coconut oil as a moisturizer on both her hair and skin. 

 

I don't think I even own an iron. 

[wallysmommy]

As a 59-year-old "younger" woman, I will say my description of Lori from that video is haggard.  Her diet of big salads and Eikhorn bread isn't doing her skin or hair any favors.  For Pete Sake, eat some protein, woman!  And not cat food.  

My dad didn't like the way my mom ironed his western shirts, so she said "do it yourself" and he did.  When he complained about her vacuuming, she said "do it yourself" and he did.  Her other motto with him was you have two options for dinner -- take it or leave it.  He ate everything she put in front of him.  But they had a mutual respect and deep love for one another.  Neither of them ever left the house without kissing each other goodbye.  My cousin came from a broken home, but has now been married herself for 31 years.  She said she learned about marriage from my parents as role models because her parents were terrible spouses -- I thought that was a great compliment to my mom and dad.

[Sarah92]

I remember my dad ironing a lot of his work and church clothes. When he drove limos he wore a suit so he ironed his pants and as a correctional guard he ironed his uniforms. He also shined his boots. 

The message I got about being fat was that fat women need to put more effort into their clothes least they be judged a slob. Even in undergrad I often wore makeup, did my hair and put on decent outfits when my peers wore sweats. Of course in many ways this benefitted me because I knew how to dress appropriately to functions. But that insecurity was still there. I've gotten much better about accepting myself although I need to take the next step and work towards health. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

 

 

I don't think I even own an iron. 

I own an iron. The last time I used it I made a "Votes For Women" suffragette sash.