Lori Alexander 58: A Family Holiday on the Toilet

[EowynW]

What wealth? I want some of this American wealth she's talking about. We don't even have enough in savings to cover rent if something terrible happens. LOL 

[feministxtian]

Kids needing mama...my 3 are grown and not a day goes by that I'm not fielding a question, a request for advice or just general conversation. 

"the good old days"...my paternal Grandmother came to the US at the age of 20, not speaking a word of English and with a 3rd grade education. She married my grandfather who had a trade (he was a barber). They split up sometime before 1940 and my grandmother went to work in a sewing factory. She worked until ohhh...I don't know, the late 1970's? My stepgrandfather worked as some sort of technician for some company that installed and fixed furnaces...he worked until he got injured on the job and even after that worked on the side. 

Point is, my grandmother worked. My other grandmother (the mother's mother) had a nice privileged life in Cuba even after the revolution she still had a maid and a cook. Why the mother married the broke, divorced machinist from Philly I'll never know. Desperation maybe...she was theoretically 30 when they married (word on the street says she was closer to 40). I'll never know the truth and maybe I don't want to know. 

[SilverBeach]

sorry

[Koala]

Lori, YOU would be saddened to know how many daughters abandon their mothers in their final days, while they chase after internet popularity by trying desperately to go VIRAL.  Those same daughters waste precious time they could be spending with their moms, in favor of arguing with random strangers on the internet, and ALWAYS being available to delete scriptures that don't match their "message".

And traveling?  Girl, I once heard of a blogger who spent WEEKS spoiling herself on vacation, and couldn't even be bothered to go and be with her mom when she passed. What was it you called traveling?  A vain pursuit, right?  Just checking.  Good thing YOUR righteous self would never do that!

Finally, that same blogger I mentioned above?  Her mom's funeral was delayed (while the family waited for the godliest member to get done pampering herself in Door County).  And you know what else?  She made a post insinuating that her father was relieved to be rid of the "burden" of financially supporting his wife, and then referred to her mom's funeral as a "special day".  

Sad, right?

[Carol]

Gosh, Koala, the blogger you are describing sounds like a selfish, narcissistic, unchristian bitch!

[Liza]

Regarding staying home with high school children:

I generally don't think of myself as judgmental.  I do believe that kids in high school do not need the same care an infant or young child needs ... generally speaking.  I don't believe in leaving kids that age alone overnight, for weeks at a time, or anything close.  In my case, both kids went to a high school dad drove them to and came home with another parent.  They never got home before 5 pm.  I got home at 6 pm.  But, that is for me, and I should have specified as much.  

[SongRed7]

Read this post by aChristian blogger today. If I weren’t banned by Lori I’d post it on her sites.  Legalistic, Lori?  Yep! 

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/04/top-10-signs-legalistic-church/

[wallysmommy]

Last might my bestie introduced me to "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding" on TLC.  I was counting the ways the culture is similar to what Lori teaches -- marry young, be a virgin until you marry, have a bunch of kids, help your husband, don't have a job, education isn't important.  Then add in the arranged marriages, makeup and jewelry and you have a bit of JillRod in there.   

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

Read this post by aChristian blogger today. If I weren’t banned by Lori I’d post it on her sites.  Legalistic, Lori?  Yep! 

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/04/top-10-signs-legalistic-church/

Every point can be used to illustrate Lori's legalistic thinking, but number 7 really jumped out at me:

7. You might be in a legalistic church if…obedience to established authority is seen as the same as obedience to God.

 

Disagreeing with Lori is disagreeing with God, as we all know. 

[ViolaSebastian]

14 hours ago, SuperNova said:

@ViolaSebastian not to worry! Lori has further clarified what she meant about the good ol days. It's just like toothpaste. If there was only one brand to choose from, you wouldn't even know that you didn't like it because it's your only choice. Women were happier in their homes when they didn't have the choice could leave it. See? Easy peasy.

  Reveal hidden contents

I used the word “dissatisfied” for a reason because it’s all they knew. One is satisfied with Crest toothpaste if this is the only toothpaste there is but when there are many toothpastes to choose from, one might choose one and become dissatisfied with it because they know there are probably better ones. Without the knowledge of birth control, higher education, and careers, women were satisfied becoming wives, mothers, and being home full time since this is all they knew. Yes, some of them were most likely discontent with the spouse they were married to and their children’s behavior and maybe how dirty their homes got but they weren’t dissatisfied with being wives and mothers since this was all they knew. It wasn’t until after the wars when women were practically forced to be out of their homes that they became dissatisfied being home because there was something better “out there.”

 

Yep, that’s why 2/3rds of opiate addicts were women by the late 1800s. They were just SO HAPPY with their “one choice.”

[ViolaSebastian]

Today a "gentleman" (and, as my mother would say, I use that term loosely) commenting on Lori's blog enlightened me on a new term, pimp hand. The comment has been up for 15 hours, so it really must be one that Lori thinks is appropriate and fitting.

Quote

pimp hand (plural pimp hands). (slang, figuratively) A pimp's ability to maintain effective control of the prostitute(s) who work for him, by means of intimidation etc.

 

[refugee]

On 11/24/2018 at 11:40 AM, louisa05 said:

Forgive me for not wearing my brightest cheeriest floral print and posing for pictures like it was a happy family gathering when I lost a parent. 

I have yet to know anyone who has done that. But obviously, Lori has this one right. 

I think it depends. We all have ways of honoring people. When my grownup cousin died of colitis when I was a kid, he had told his fiancée he wanted no dark or dull colors at his funeral. So we all probably looked like we were going to an Easter parade, so to speak, instead of a funeral.

And then afterwards, the closest cousins (as in first cousins) all went to his brother’s house and proceeded to drink (those over 18) and tell funny stories about him.

He was quite the prankster, so it felt like an appropriate sendoff.

[delphinium65]

24 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Today a "gentleman" (and, as my mother would say, I use that term loosely) commenting on Lori's blog enlightened me on a new term, pimp hand. The comment has been up for 15 hours, so it really must be one that Lori thinks is appropriate and fitting.

Very fitting, considering that Lori's definition of marriage isn't much different from prostitution. And she has the nerve to call other women whores? 

[lilwriter85]

21 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Debby in Kansas left a comment on Lori's blog about women being happy in the home. She says that a friend of hers was never maternal and sites a large tumor as the culprit. This comment is everything that's wrong with forcing women into "their god given roles". Poor Debby has been taught to have babies regardless of what her personal desires are. Debby envies her friend's tumor. Or am I misunderstanding? I hope so.

"At 36, she had an 8 lb. tumor removed in/with her uterus. Her doctor told her she would’ve never been able to carry a pregnancy or maybe even conceive. I’ve often wondered if that total lack of maternal desire was His way of sparing her the suffering of being barren. I could’ve used that….."

 

I can't stand Debby. But, this comment is shittier than her previous ones. 

[klein_roeschen]

3 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Yep, that’s why 2/3rds of opiate addicts were women by the late 1800s. They were just SO HAPPY with their “one choice.”

Laudanum, the alcoholic opium solution, was very common and you found it in almost every household until the invention of better painmeds like Aspirin. It was use for a wide range of health reasons, was cheap and you got it without prescription in every pharmacy. The knowledge of the harmfull and highly addictive nature wasn't found until the end of the 19th century. Most addicts of Laudanum became so by accident for using it for other reasons.

 

29 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Today a "gentleman" (and, as my mother would say, I use that term loosely) commenting on Lori's blog enlightened me on a new term, pimp hand. The comment has been up for 15 hours, so it really must be one that Lori thinks is appropriate and fitting.

 

Commenter one should take a history class on how men got away with unwanted offspring outside of marriage before the invention of genetic paternaty testing. And the "charming" guy on the bottom, wow. But that would be a good question for Lori. Did a wife have to submit to the order of her husband to prostitute herself? Because technically she would become an adulteress and commit a great sin, even if it is by her husbands orders.

[polecat]

18 hours ago, Koala said:

As a side note- for some families, highschoolers can require just as much attention as younger kids.  Sure, it's different, but believe me, they don't quit needing you once they are teenagers.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with a parent choosing to stay home.

This is so true. Our kids have friends whose parents seem to have checked out somewhere around junior high. Then there are the parents who don't trust their kids at all and won't even let them go to school functions out of fear that they'll ... do something. 

Parenting is almost harder in the teen years than it was in the toddler years. And I had three little ones at once!

ETA: And I won't even mention all the extra parenting you get to do when your kids are in high school because all their friends need support and love, too, but aren't getting it for one reason or another.

[ladyicantxplain]

Quote

You're telling me that there are young women who took care of themselves, stayed off the carousel, and aren't holding out for "Christian Grey or bust", and they still don't have a marriage market value of 11?

You're not telling me the whole story, are you? - a male commented on Lori's facebook blog post

Sixteen hours ago, this MRA left this repulsive comment on a thread where these men are obviously trolling for a wife while stirring up strife and using manosphere vernacular.

How is this teaching "Biblical Womanhood" again?

Why is this remaining upon the blog while scripture is removed?

[Briefly]

18 hours ago, Hisey said:

Of course not! It's a good thing. We see so many semi-abandoned teenagers in our town. These are kids whose parents are hardly ever home because, well, their kids are teenagers and supposedly don't need supervision. Parents even go off on vacation and leave their teens alone for a week or more! I feel sorry for these kids, so many of them are lonely.

Teens definitely benefit from supervision and support, even if they don't admit it. Young teens still need rides here and there. If both parents work full-time, their kids often have to get a ride wherever they can (often from their friends' older siblings, who may or may not be good drivers or even good people).

New drivers need a lot of supervision. Often they are extremely overconfident about what they can handle. We let our oldest gradually expand the area that she was allowed to drive. 

Teens can get into a lot of trouble if they feel they are alone and no one is watching. They often lack the brain development to make a good choices. I saw this when my very bright 16-year old wanted to make rash, irrational decisions. I'm glad I was there to talk her out of some things and downright forbid others. 

With that said, I'm finding that with my youngest in high school I have more time on my hands than I'd like. So I'm looking to re-enter the job market on a part-time basis. But that is a personal decision. I wouldn't judge anyone who makes (or has to make) a different choice.

 

 

I worked the first year of my daughter's life, then we moved to Tulsa and were able to keep me at home with her until shortly after her second birthday, due in large part to the 401k $ I had from the job I'd held for several years in Texas.  When she entered either kindergarten or first grade (I can't remember exactly which), I negotiated a deal with my boss where I just worked school hours.  I was really glad that I was able to be home with her after school, all the way through high school.  That is such a sensitive age in so many and there are so many issues that teens can get into trouble with.  I realize that kids can get into situations whether a parent is at home or not, but I was very glad that I was able to be home with her after school.

  

 

7 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Last might my bestie introduced me to "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding" on TLC.  I was counting the ways the culture is similar to what Lori teaches -- marry young, be a virgin until you marry, have a bunch of kids, help your husband, don't have a job, education isn't important.  Then add in the arranged marriages, makeup and jewelry and you have a bit of JillRod in there.   

We saw a few episodes of the original British show and then the American spin-off.  I think it's a very misunderstood culture, and not like most Americans seem to think.  But it's a very restrictive culture, it sure looks to me like women are not valued as people but just as housekeepers, baby makers, etc.  There were a few non-Gypsy born women who married in and one in particular was really sad, she was very young and seemed to have no clue what lifestyle she was about to go into.  The boy did try to warn her, at least on camera.  But I would be very surprised if that marriage lasted.  I can't remember the names.

[Briefly]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

This is so true. Our kids have friends whose parents seem to have checked out somewhere around junior high. Then there are the parents who don't trust their kids at all and won't even let them go to school functions out of fear that they'll ... do something. 

Parenting is almost harder in the teen years than it was in the toddler years. And I had three little ones at once!

ETA: And I won't even mention all the extra parenting you get to do when your kids are in high school because all their friends need support and love, too, but aren't getting it for one reason or another.

I know what you mean, my daughter had a few friends who were not really getting the parental attention they needed.  I won't say I stepped in as a surrogate but I do think I was able to be there for a few that needed it.

[ViolaSebastian]

38 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Sixteen hours ago, this MRA left this repulsive comment on a thread where these men are obviously trolling for a wife while stirring up strife and using manosphere vernacular.

How is this teaching "Biblical Womanhood" again?

Why is this remaining upon the blog while scripture is removed?

Be it known that "the carousel" (or more precisely, the c**k carousel) is how MRA's refer to women who date several different people, either consecutively or at the same time. I can say with 99.9% accuracy that he also calls women who won't sleep with him cold, stuck-up bitches and women who do have sex with anyone sluts and whores. Just remember ladies, whatever choice you pick, you're wrong and terrible. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, Briefly said:

I know what you mean, my daughter had a few friends who were not really getting the parental attention they needed.  I won't say I stepped in as a surrogate but I do think I was able to be there for a few that needed it.

We were known as the "C***** home for wayward kids". We'd have up to 12 kids with us on the weekends and occasionally some of them would stay with us for a few weeks. Heck, I'd make 'em do chores, get on them about attitudes, talk to them about the importance of staying in school, help them map out the future depending on what they wanted to do for a living. The kids are all now between the ages of 27 and 30 and I still hear from most of them. 

I found it funny that they'd hang at our house since I wouldn't take their bullshit, made them do things, jumped their shit when they deserved it, told them how it was going to be at our house and generally wasn't all warm and fuzzy. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Just stopping by to mention that I find this Alyssa Roberts who is now leaving comments on Lori's FB is a nasty, A #1, first class, judgmental piece of work. No wonder Lori loves her comments.

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

On ‎11‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 7:48 PM, EowynW said:

What wealth? I want some of this American wealth she's talking about. We don't even have enough in savings to cover rent if something terrible happens. LOL 

All of that wealth is at the very top of the heap; the fabled top 2 %.

I'm betting even Princess Lori would be singing a different tune should Ken suffer some medical situation requiring long-term, expensive treatment and loss of earning. Add in the house needing some pricey upkeep and/or a few other things and she'll be swimming up-stream. I'm guessing that Lori knows NOTHING about the family finances and (of course) Ken does all of the bill paying. She's like his kid living in the house.

14 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Read this post by aChristian blogger today. If I weren’t banned by Lori I’d post it on her sites.  Legalistic, Lori?  Yep! 

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/04/top-10-signs-legalistic-church/

This should be posted to any number of bloggers: JRod, Zsu, etc. Someone, please do it!

 

[Sarah92]

Why am I not surprised that Lori allowed a comment promoting violence towards women to remain? I'm tempted to message Ken again about this. Of course, Lori doesn't have a problem with hitting of sexually assaulting her spouse so why should anything else be expected? 

[Petronella]

13 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I can't stand Debby. But, this comment is shittier than her previous ones. 

It sounds to me not like she was envying the tumor, but envying the lack of maternal drive. It read to me like she was someone who had been deeply saddened by infertility, and wished that if she had to be infertile, if her maternal drive could have been absent too, instead of having the desire but not the ability. (I don't know anything about her, but that's what it sounded like to me.)