Lori Alexander 58: A Family Holiday on the Toilet

[delphinium65]

2 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Lori's daughters can dress however they want but it says a lot when Lori's children do not even follow her teachings. She would say other parents were failures in the same situation. 

She would blame the mothers.  I absolutely agree, and would very, very strongly encourage Lori's children to wear whatever the heck they want, but by Lori's own rules she is a failure.  Guess she just didn't set a good 'Godly' example for her daughter.  

[wallysmommy]

I grew up fundie-lite and participated in PE wearing the hideous gymsuit.  I don't play sports because I'm terrible at them.  I have pretty much zero athletic ability.  To me, there is nothing immodest or appealing about the softball uniform.  Ballet costumes are much, much more revealing.  This is such an ignorant thing on which to focus a "ministry" (and I use the word very loosely).  She is on the edge of the cliff, and sliding further into the canyon of irrationality every day.  

[kpmom]

5 hours ago, teachergirl said:

She has really lost it again...in the comments now she says girls should not play softball or volleyball and women should not be working out in gyms...She reminds me of Dougie and his ilk and all their hysteria about well everything. 

I don't read Alyssa's FB page, but I'm assuming she might have been pictured in some legs apart poses?  IDK for sure, but would imagine so, if she's into yoga.

The part about Dougie is so true.  Doesn't it seem like so many of our fundies become more and more extreme as the years go by?

I mainly follow Lori, Doug and the Maxwells here on FJ, and that's certainly true of all three.  Well, Dougie changed, but only out of necessity.  I guess once you start seeing the world as a dark place you can't help but become more and more paranoid.

ETA: Whoops, I see the comments about Alyssa were already made upthread.  Now I'm wondering, is this another one of her shots at Alyssa?

[Sarah92]

I think it's often men who are doing the sexualizing in sports. Especially if they're the ones making the uniform rules for women athletes. Short shorts, bikinis etc seem to be required for the male gaze. However; female athletes are there to play the game and enjoy doing it. It's not on them what males think or feel. 

But on the flip side wouldn't male athletes often have similar stances. Is this gay? Are they promoting homosexuality by having their butts out and squatting? That's how ridiculous her argument is. 

[luv2laugh]

I am starting to wonder if the brain tumor could have caused her to go off the deep end or if there’s some sort of dementia going on. Her personality has always been bad but now she sounds like a complete lunatic. 

Lori reminds me of the people that spend hours on the couch playing World of Warcraft except her addiction (tearing down women) is harmful to people other than merely herself. 

Lori was narcissistic enough to believe that she’d become a BIG DEAL with publishing her book and going VIRAL. I think she’s had issues coping with the fact that it wasn’t as successful as she expected and it’s become her undoing. She’s angry.

Lori is ANGRY that the “young women of today” did not buy her book. THEY are to blame!

Aging: I’m hesitant to comment on it because I opened up a HUGE CAN OF WORMS in the Jill Dillard thread when I mentioned it a few days ago. Posters got pretty pissed. I am insecure about aging myself so I pay attention to lines more. It’s really hard. The pressure that women face to have youthful skin compared to men is a never-ending battle that just gets worse and worse. It’s depressing. I took advice of posters to just be thankful that I’m getting another year of life. I just try to stay out of the sun, wear sunblock, don’t smoke, wear my Retin A, but I have a bad habit of furrowing my brows and creating the dreaded “11s”. My resting face is more likely to be furrowing my brow as I do it out of bad habit from not only stress but also just focusing on things. I even do it in my sleep. I’m trying to cut it out and remind myself. 

[louisa05]

9 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

I think it's often men who are doing the sexualizing in sports. Especially if they're the ones making the uniform rules for women athletes. Short shorts, bikinis etc seem to be required for the male gaze. However; female athletes are there to play the game and enjoy doing it. It's not on them what males think or feel. 

But on the flip side wouldn't male athletes often have similar stances. Is this gay? Are they promoting homosexuality by having their butts out and squatting? That's how ridiculous her argument is. 

A quick google search, though, shows that in volleyball anyway, the briefs are not a rule on any level. NCAA rule says "jersey, shorts, briefs, pants or culottes" and also gives the option of a one piece uniform. That seems to be true of most high school rules as well, though not all allow the one piece option. So no one is actually requiring the briefs as opposed to something else. In my state, players are required to have jerseys tucked in or long enough to ensure no tummy shows while playing (though in nearly a decade of working the score table for the school I worked at, I never saw that strictly enforced--refs weren't going to penalize a team if a jersey went up too much when someone jumped). So they actually are requiring some general bit of modesty. 

 

[ViolaSebastian]

Lori mentioned in the comments that men think that women with tattoos are promiscuous, and because the Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil, women should not get them, lest men think we are promiscuous. Does this mean I have to stay up to date with every possible thing every possible man thinks makes me look promiscuous and not do it? Because that sounds freaking exhausting. Maybe, just maybe, if men see something in a woman that they think denotes that she's promiscuous, maybe instead of it being the woman's fault, it's actually time to investigate in themselves why they think they can judge people by their appearance? Because I'm pretty sure there are some good verses about that, too. 

[older than allosaurs]

2 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I grew up fundie-lite and participated in PE wearing the hideous gymsuit.  I don't play sports because I'm terrible at them.  I have pretty much zero athletic ability.  To me, there is nothing immodest or appealing about the softball uniform.  Ballet costumes are much, much more revealing.  This is such an ignorant thing on which to focus a "ministry" (and I use the word very loosely).  She is on the edge of the cliff, and sliding further into the canyon of irrationality every day.  

I wonder if she's been reading the inimitable John Piper (though he probably uses too many big words for her taste).

Piper has a long-running horror of strong, active women. This is from 1999, but he hasn't changed his tune since then.

“Consider what is lost when women attempt to assume a more masculine role by appearing physically muscular and aggressive. It is true that there is something sexually stimulating about a muscular, scantily clad young woman pumping iron in a health club.

But no woman should be encouraged by this fact. For it probably means the sexual encounter that such an image would lead to is something very hasty and volatile, and in the long run unsatisfying.

The image of a masculine musculature may beget arousal in a man, but it does not beget several hours of moonlight walking with significant, caring conversation. The more women can arouse men by doing typically masculine things, the less they can count on receiving from men a sensitivity to typically feminine ”

Or maybe she is looking through old Erica Shupe posts. Remember her obsession with "the crotch area," before she and the girls switched to wearing pants?

Or maybe she's out to lunch all on her own.

[delphinium65]

Lori's online lover wannabe  leghumper  admirer Trey is over at that damned Biblical Gender Roles site talking Lori up to men who can't control their women.  Long-winded guy, who uses a lot of words to basically say very little.  

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[dairyfreelife]

2 hours ago, kpmom said:

Doesn't it seem like so many of our fundies become more and more extreme as the years go by?

I think they go one way or the other. They either lighten up and become less fundie, sometimes leaving religion completely or they pull the reins tighter and tighter and get even more extreme. Can't stay stagnant I guess. Lori does seem to be getting more and more unhinged though. Instead of trying and failing to "mentor/teach/counsel" others, I think she ought to sincerely seek some counseling herself. 

[Destiny]

13 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Lori's online lover wannabe  leghumper  admirer Trey is over at that damned Biblical Gender Roles site talking Lori up to men who can't control their women.  Long-winded guy, who uses a lot of words to basically say very little.  

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Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, poor Trey's wife. I feel so sorry for her. She's, at the very least, being emotionally abused, and the parts about making her read .... disturbing to me. 

[feministxtian]

Umm...if I was married to Trey, I'd have dumped his ass. But, I don't really do "passive-aggressive" I do full on aggressive. Guys, listen, if you want nothing more than a sexbot, blow the money and get one. If you want a human being, then deal with the idea that your wife is much more than a vagina that cooks. 

Lori, you need help, LOTS of help, serious help. You are teetering on the edge right now, it's up to you to decide whether to fall off the cliff or back up. 

[ladyicantxplain]

Quote

Burton Ty Macklin writes:  A tattoo is rarely a tattoo. People often get tattoos because they feel insecure about their self-identity, appearance, or social acceptance. These insecurities are red flag indicating deeper emotional problems.

When a woman has a tattoo, you best bet she's dealt with insecurity and resorted to reckless decisions to make up for it.

Well, Burton Ty Macklin (if that is even your name):

Some would say: "A Corvette is rarely a Corvette.  People often get Corvettes because they feel insecure about their self-identity, appearance, or social acceptance.  These insecurities are a red flag indicating deeper emotional problems."

"When a man has a Corvette, you best bet he's dealt with insecurity and resorted to reckless decisions to make up for it."

 

See how ridiculous that sounds?

Stop it, Burton. For the love of Jesus.  Go read the manosphere.

God have mercy on Trey.   God deliver his poor wife from the hell that must be her marriage.

I can't even say anything else about what I just read that he wrote.  

[feministxtian]

18 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Well, Burton Ty Macklin (if that is even your name):

Some would say: "A Corvette is rarely a Corvette.  People often get Corvettes because they feel insecure about their self-identity, appearance, or social acceptance.  These insecurities are a red flag indicating deeper emotional problems."

"When a man has a Corvette, you best bet he's dealt with insecurity and resorted to reckless decisions to make up for it."

 

See how ridiculous that sounds?

Stop it, Burton. For the love of Jesus.  Go read the manosphere.

God have mercy on Trey.   God deliver his poor wife from the hell that must be her marriage.

I can't even say anything else about what I just read that he wrote.  

Well, a 'Vette is known as a "mid-life crisis" car...hell, my Mustang was a "mid-life crisis" car too...I want a tattoo but I'm chicken. 

Everybody has insecurities and makes reckless decisions...it's not really a bad thing...sometimes ya just gotta say "what the fuck" and do your thing. Anyone who says they don't is a liar. 

[ladyicantxplain]

@feministxtian, EXACTLY.

It's no more an indicator of one's emotional well-being to have a tattoo or several than it is for one to have a Mustang or a Corvette.

All this "Oh, we're only godly if we are seen as complete fun-sucking, miserable imposters of the Amish" thing has got to go.  

Christianity is supposed to be FUN and EXCITING and life is supposed to be ABUNDANT.

If tattoos please you, get tattoos!

If sports cars do, get those.

Totally agree with you - we should just be honest.

 

[feministxtian]

Just now, ladyicantxplain said:

@feministxtian, EXACTLY.

It's no more an indicator of one's emotional well-being to have a tattoo or several than it is for one to have a Mustang or a Corvette.

All this "Oh, we're only godly if we are seen as complete fun-sucking, miserable imposters of the Amish" thing has got to go.  

Christianity is supposed to be FUN and EXCITING and life is supposed to be ABUNDANT.

If tattoos please you, get tattoos!

If sports cars do, get those.

Totally agree with you - we should just be honest.

 

I'm not into "fun-sucking"...life is also meant to be enjoyed...We are given this life, and to spend it as a sour-puss is probably not what God intended. I mean, Jesus went to weddings (which are great parties), hung out with fishermen (if you've never seen fishermen tear up a bar, you should. It's an experience not to be missed) and enjoyed every holiday and festival on the Jewish calendar. He laughed, He cried, He LIVED. Do what makes YOU happy, of course as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. If blowing 75k on a 'vette is your thing, go for it. If tats make you happy, go for it. Same with skydiving, roller coasters, vacationing, running around your house nekkid...can't wait until we have a house again so we can do some skinny dipping (or in my case, chunky dunking) again! Right now, a nap will make me happy so time to get horizontal, enjoy Babylon 5 and see which feline decides I need to be "mothered". 

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

Umm...if I was married to Trey, I'd have dumped his ass. But, I don't really do "passive-aggressive" I do full on aggressive. Guys, listen, if you want nothing more than a sexbot, blow the money and get one. If you want a human being, then deal with the idea that your wife is much more than a vagina that cooks. 

Lori, you need help, LOTS of help, serious help. You are teetering on the edge right now, it's up to you to decide whether to fall off the cliff or back up. 

I read the bolded portion to Mr Nova and he said you say it in a way that would make a stupid man understand. 

Unfortunately, I have a brother who fits seamlessly into the MRA world. He has a wife that materialized out of thin air one day. Never heard a single word about the "relationship" until they were about to be married. She's an overseas bride and could barely speak english when we first met. As far as my idiot brother is concerned, she exists solely for his comfort. Their stove/oven is broken but he still expects hot meals every day. She gets up at 3:30 every morning to pack lunch and make breakfast on their hot plate. They keep the water shut off at the main and have to run outside and turn it back on anytime they want to shower because apparently there's a leak somewhere. My brother is too cheap to fix either problem. He's been using the excuse that he doesn't want to put money into the house because they'll be moving any time now. It's been two years. He often forgets to pay bills and it's not uncommon for her to sit in a dark house or have no internet for a day or two. She once went outside to throw away some garbage and found the cans missing. The garbage service confiscated them for non payment. I could go on and on. My dumbass brother makes a great living so there's really no excuse except that he has poor money management skills.

Funny thing, she's obviously educated and quite refined in manners and dress. Although she has poor taste in men, she's a very kind and intelligent person. I really wish that he didn't keep her so isolated. I would love to get to know her better. It all makes me wonder...

[feministxtian]

@SuperNova well, yeah, I don't beat around the bush much. I'm rather direct and can be confrontational. I'm sick and tired of these simpering idiots who think they are all that because penis. Nah dude...I've seen those things and if I had one of them hanging off of me, I'd do my best to hide it...let's face it, they ain't things of beauty. 

The way I see it, God made me the way I am...loud, sarcastic, confrontational. If a man can't handle it then he can carry his ass on down the road. If I want his (generic men) advice, I'll ask for it. If I don't ask for it, then do me a favor and STFU. Me and Mr Xtian have managed to get to the point where we don't really argue, we discuss. We rarely get pissed off at each other, we "use our words" and resolve issues. Mr. Xtian has no problems with who I am, as I am. He seems to like it that way. I love him and respect him but that doesn't preclude me jumping his ass if he's acting like one. 

Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. If some random Y chromosome carrier can't deal with a strong, decisive woman, then he can look in the mirror and figure out why he feels so threatened. 

[PennySycamore]

5 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I think it's often men who are doing the sexualizing in sports. Especially if they're the ones making the uniform rules for women athletes. Short shorts, bikinis etc seem to be required for the male gaze. However; female athletes are there to play the game and enjoy doing it. It's not on them what males think or feel. 

But on the flip side wouldn't male athletes often have similar stances. Is this gay? Are they promoting homosexuality by having their butts out and squatting? That's how ridiculous her argument is. 

Your post reminds me of this scene from A League of Their Own:

 

You might need to watch it with headphones/earbuds as the sound seemed a bit low.

[Briefly]

3 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Well, Burton Ty Macklin (if that is even your name):

Some would say: "A Corvette is rarely a Corvette.  People often get Corvettes because they feel insecure about their self-identity, appearance, or social acceptance.  These insecurities are a red flag indicating deeper emotional problems."

"When a man has a Corvette, you best bet he's dealt with insecurity and resorted to reckless decisions to make up for it."

 

See how ridiculous that sounds?

Stop it, Burton. For the love of Jesus.  Go read the manosphere.

God have mercy on Trey.   God deliver his poor wife from the hell that must be her marriage.

I can't even say anything else about what I just read that he wrote.  

Mr. Briefly found a mostly built model of a corvette he made many years ago, when he was looking for something else in the garage today.  He brought it to me and handed it to me, and said that he'd always said he get me a corvette one of these days and now he had!.

If I were Trey's wife, I would have run and never looked back.  At the very least, that is emotional abuse.  I'm very disturbed by the statement that he forced her to read that garbage.  Did he just insist and throw fits until she did it so he would shut up?  OR did her physically hold her head in front of the book, etc.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I'm thinking physically forced her with hefty amounts of screaming with verbal and emotional  abuse.

Trey is just that kind of guy and Lori, his goddess, has said that physical discipline is fine in a marriage.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I'm thinking physically forced her with hefty amounts of screaming with verbal and emotional  abuse.

Trey is just that kind of guy and Lori, his goddess, has said that physical discipline is fine in a marriage.

Attempting to force me to do anything is guaranteed to turn me into a Tasmanian Devil of insane destruction. That shit does not fly with me. IF Mr. Xtian attempted to force me to do anything, it would end up in a nuclear disaster of epic proportions. Fortunately, somewhere deep in his soul, he understands this and has not tried this. The one time I lost my temper with him was enough for him to never, ever push me that far ever again. 

I can see where someone like Trey would have issues with that. A mere woman blowing her cool at him would just reinforce his idea that a woman must be controlled...why? Because I truly believe he feels threatened by a strong, independent woman. These MRA types all feel that way. What a bunch of wimpy mofos. When I say they need to grow a pair of balls, I mean they need to start looking in the mirror for why they feel like they do. Their posturing, strutting and chest-beating is just to cover some serious insecurities. Maybe instead of talking shit about women, they should go find a good therapist who can help them resolve their issues. 

[Sarah92]

I don't really doubt that Trey is abusive. Notice no accountability or acknowledgment of what he icmight have been doing to influence his wife's behavior; the narcissism behind HIM knowing what books she needs to read (none of which were the Bible) and him forcing her to read the books ( how I wonder?). She also left him after he disciplined her and again I wonder how he did this. And then he found a sham of a counselor (often seen as an authority figure) to force this view on his wife. Which is in my opinion a violation of counseling ethics except that only applies to non biblical counseling. 

Sometimes I really hate that Nouthetic counselors call themselves counselors. Certification does not mean trained at Masters level. It sometimes means, "I completed a course and know the Bible kinda well so I can be a biblical counselor!". No that doesn't make you a counselor, it makes you a kinda sorta trained "biblical" advice giver. So this women he forced his wife to see? May not have had any formal training in mental or emotional health that is essential to helping individuals and assessing their safety. Additionally, she may have had little formal biblical training to give accurate biblical advice. Often they misuse the Bible in ways that actually inflict much deeper wounds in the name of "truth". It's also a rejection that there can be truth found outside of the Bible (cough cough science and the gazillions of CBT therapy studies out there). Yes there is some more intense training programs and sometimes it can have a place where it can be helpful if the individual is wise and knows their limits. Even as a counselor I know my limits. I'm not trained to work with severe autism, my clients deserve the best so I will refer severe cases out because I'm not what's best for them at that time. Grrrr sorry this is literally like my undergrad thesis on why churches need trained mental health professionals. Link provided to expert below  

https://www.pastoralcounseling.org/specialization/nouthetic-counseling

[klein_roeschen]

Guys like Trey don't deserve a wife, they don't deserve any contact with living creatures.

@Sarah92 I'm thankfull for my therapist. Because of his extended study of psychology and his training to become a therapist, he is able to help me in ways an untrained person never will. His professional and unjudgemental manner and confidentially helps me to let down my guard and accept his help. With some church affilliated person I would never have the trust, that the things I say to them would stay between us. So here is my big YAY to proper trained therapists and counsellors.

Since it's sunday and our dinner is peacefully simmering on the stove, what will you have for dinner? Here it's stuffed cabbage rolls. You take a handfull of seasoned ground meat or pork, and roll it in some cabbage leaves, brown them to your liking, put water over them and let them simmer on low heat for 1 1/2 hours on the stove. I serve it with boiled potatoes and the cabbage leftover from the rolls, wich I also browned, we like it that way. And in the afternoon we will have homebaked crumble cake filled with apples, raisins and nuts. It's a pleasant smell at the moment here.

[SweetLaurel]

9 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Maybe instead of talking shit about women, they should go find a good therapist who can help them resolve their issues

Buuuuttttt, they don't have any issues to talk to a therapist about!   They own a penis!  Case closed.