Dillards 57: Run, D’Wreck, Run!

[viii]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

I think the only way she would ever leave him would be if he did something truly, outrageously awful - and even then it's not a sure thing.

I don't know what would be bad enough for her to even consider leaving him. Perhaps murder or endangering the children? Anna has proven that cheating/lies isn't enough to cause a Duggar marriage to end. 

I think there's a 50% chance of Derrick leaving Jill, tbh. And I think those odds grow with every meltdown.  

[EmmieJ]

15 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I completely agree with everyone saying Derick would be the one to leave Jill. In fact, I don't think it's even that unlikely. I still think it's unlikely, just not that unlikely. Like in my mind there's, I don't know, maybe a 30% chance of him leaving her. As I'm writing this, it sounds cruel to me... but Derick seems so easily frustrated, so miserable, so arrogant, and so much like the kind of guy who would decide his marriage wasn't working for him and it was time to end it and find a way to blame it all on his wife and make himself out to be the victim that I just can't shake the feeling that it could happen.

Could Derick leaving his Wal-Mart job be a sign that when the going gets tough, he takes off rather than tough it out?  Maybe.  Then again, maybe he's had some master plan for years and has been working hard to accomplish his goal of not working hard for a living while still having a compliant, non-complaining wife and family.  The way he reveres his father's memory yet is quite the asshole makes me wonder what sort of man his father really was.

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, viii said:

I don't know what would be bad enough for her to even consider leaving him. Perhaps murder or endangering the children? Anna has proven that cheating/lies isn't enough to cause a Duggar marriage to end. 

I think there's a 50% chance of Derrick leaving Jill, tbh. And I think those odds grow with every meltdown.  

I definitely don't think she would leave him over infidelity. It would be amazing and awesome if she did, but nah. It's a badge of honour for these women to stick it out with their cheating husbands, because it proves how godly and submissive they are. 

I do think Jill might leave him if it was a matter of her children being in danger for some reason. Not to reopen the Josh can of worms, but as far as we know, he was never abusive in any way to Anna or their children. (Of course, it's a very complicated subject, because there's an undercurrent of psychological and at least borderline-physical abuse in most if not all fundie families). In Jill's case I think 'endangering the children' would probably include endangering their eternal souls. Like if Derick totally went rogue and was living a decidedly unfundie lifestyle and exposing their kids to it, I could see Jill leaving him and trying to get full custody if it became clear he wasn't going to repent.

[Rachel333]

13 minutes ago, bekkah said:

Can I just say that I miss McDonalds from India? So good. Funny thing is there were no beef options.  Poland also had great McDonald’s. I had there breakfast sandwich which was cheese and bacon. That’s exactly what I want to eat for brekkie after a night of pub. 

I loved McDonalds in India! I'm vegetarian so it was amazing to be able to go absolutely anywhere and find lots of vegetarian options. I loved how many fast food restaurants have a whole side of the store just for vegetarian food, like at Subway where you wait in a different line depending on whether you're vegetarian or not.

[Joyfully_Unavailable]

41 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I definitely don't think she would leave him over infidelity. It would be amazing and awesome if she did, but nah. It's a badge of honour for these women to stick it out with their cheating husbands, because it proves how godly and submissive they are. 

I do think Jill might leave him if it was a matter of her children being in danger for some reason. Not to reopen the Josh can of worms, but as far as we know, he was never abusive in any way to Anna or their children. (Of course, it's a very complicated subject, because there's an undercurrent of psychological and at least borderline-physical abuse in most if not all fundie families). In Jill's case I think 'endangering the children' would probably include endangering their eternal souls. Like if Derick totally went rogue and was living a decidedly unfundie lifestyle and exposing their kids to it, I could see Jill leaving him and trying to get full custody if it became clear he wasn't going to repent.

I agree with her not leaving over infidelity. I don't know what influences/scare tactics pushed Anna to stay but if JB was involved I am sure he would pull something similar if Jill were to be in the same situation. The way she and her sisters were basically manipulated into forgiving Josh when they were younger and having to put on brave smiles when the news broke, I really wonder how high her tolerance is for any mistreatment by a male, especially her husband. Even non-fundie women who aren't brainwashed into believing their husbands/significant others can do no wrong can find it hard to admit or leave in abusive situations. I would hope if she were ever in a bad situation that one of her siblings would reach out and offer to help her out (similar to Anna's brother, although he is no longer fundie) since I doubt her parents would do anything more than coerce her into staying "for the boys' sake".

[Leftitinmysnood]

18 hours ago, artdecades said:

Anyone else getting a lot of ads about job training and unemployment? Derick take note. 

We must live it the same region. I get that ad all the time. It's vocational training, so it's ironic in many fundie threads. I always do a double take that that isn't a Rodrigues girl.

[Marionette]

47 minutes ago, Joyfully_Unavailable said:

I agree with her not leaving over infidelity. I don't know what influences/scare tactics pushed Anna to stay but if JB was involved I am sure he would pull something similar if Jill were to be in the same situation. The way she and her sisters were basically manipulated into forgiving Josh when they were younger and having to put on brave smiles when the news broke, I really wonder how high her tolerance is for any mistreatment by a male, especially her husband. Even non-fundie women who aren't brainwashed into believing their husbands/significant others can do no wrong can find it hard to admit or leave in abusive situations. I would hope if she were ever in a bad situation that one of her siblings would reach out and offer to help her out (similar to Anna's brother, although he is no longer fundie) since I doubt her parents would do anything more than coerce her into staying "for the boys' sake".

I think on the woman's part (whether Anna or Jill or any other), they would not have a place to go if they left their husbands... Other than, perhaps, home?  Anna moved in with her in-laws.

I think that's part of what makes them stay... They have had no preparation or job experience to take their kids and support them as a single mom, in addition to them being guilt-tripped to reconcile. It's already looked down upon for fundie women in general to be independent of a man (umbrella of authority) or be in the workplace.

[MoonFace]

I believe that Jim Boob would expect his daughters do "stand by her man' no matter what.   I believe (personal opinion, not based on anything concrete) that he "persuaded" Anna to stay with Dirtbag and talked her out of taking up her brother's offers to get out.   

I also believe that Derrick was starry eyed to think that he could win one of his idol's (JB) precious jewels (the daughters) and that there might be a place at JB's right hand as his first disciple.     Then shit happened..... and it wasn't all glamour and trips.   So, it sort of blew up in his face.   

But come what may!  JB will make sure his daughters have the marriage that looks good to outsiders no matter what holy hell they are living in reality. 

 

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, EmmieJ said:

I wonder if Derick was having a great time wandering around Nepal when whatever financial resources he had started getting tight.  Faced with the question of how to continue this nomadic existence, he came up with a great idea:  ingratiate himself with JB Duggar, present as a potential awesome mate for a Duggar daughter, marry a Duggar daughter, be on the tv show, rake in big bucks, and then sell TLC on filming he and his wife as they mission-cation around the world!  What could go wrong?  

I don't know if this is true, but I have read comments here that Derick seems somewhat dismissive of Jill, talks down to her at times.  We have seen his posts where he describes his own toddler as manipulative (maybe he's projecting?).  As time goes on, Derick just seems more and more off as a person.  I don't think he's very bright, he's not into working for a living, and he's mean-spirited.

Except Derick had already connected with the Duggars prior to starting his mission in Nepal. He first met them sometime before Christmas in 2011 when he was caroling with a group of others at the Duggar’s house. He left for Nepal about a month later, but not before becoming prayer partners with JimBob. 

[onekidanddone]

A head ache in my eye this guy gives me.

[JordynDarby5]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I completely agree with everyone saying Derick would be the one to leave Jill. In fact, I don't think it's even that unlikely. I still think it's unlikely, just not that unlikely. Like in my mind there's, I don't know, maybe a 30% chance of him leaving her. As I'm writing this, it sounds cruel to me... but Derick seems so easily frustrated, so miserable, so arrogant, and so much like the kind of guy who would decide his marriage wasn't working for him and it was time to end it and find a way to blame it all on his wife and make himself out to be the victim that I just can't shake the feeling that it could happen.

 

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

And he would spin it to be totally her fault. You know how Josh blamed Satan for his problems? I honestly think Derick would just straight up blame Jill. Or Jim Bob. Or TLC. Or his kids. Or whoever most recently and severely offended him. I know I'm waaaaay over into speculation territory, but I'm basing this on everything we've seen of his personality and the way he interacts with other people. Derick is never wrong. Everyone else is wrong. And he's going to make sure they know it.

 

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I could actually see him divorcing her. Again, I don't think it's likely, just possible. It's amazing what people can justify to themselves, especially people like Derick. If he ever gets to the point where he really, really wants to get divorced, I think he'll just do it and change his religious/political stances to suit his new reality. He'll find some slightly different Christian ideology that justifies his divorce and then probably try to pretend that he never changed his beliefs at all, we're all just idiots and working for Satan and #makingalotofassumptions. He'll go all Henry VIII and convince himself that his marriage was actually WRONG for some reason, that God doesn't want it to continue, and/or that he was tricked into it.

(Just adding another disclaimer here that this is, of course, completely speculation and that I'm not suggesting that any of this will ever happen.)

I can see Derick doing exactly that. He'll find a passage or something to use to explain why he's the victim and divorcing Jill. He'll blame Jill. He'll blame JB. Very much the way he tries to claim that he wasn't fired from TLC. But that they were volunteers and never got any money. How he couldn't believe TLC wouldn't pay for hospital bills. Maybe he'll say Jill misrepresented herself (meanwhile everyone on Twitter will point out he could have watched Jill on TV at any point to learn about her), that JB lied to him about her (ignoring twitter pointing that Derick sought JB out as a prayer partner). That he was tricked into the marriage and had no choice (again ignoring that Derick could have said no at any point up until the wedding), Jill lied about wanting to be missionary (ignoring that he didn't bother to find out that what her idea of that was),  that the whole thing was a set up to lure  him into marriage (again ignoring that he sought JB out as prayer partner JB did not approach him), or that he was used all for ratings or for the show (ignoring that he could have said no and really wanted the attention). That he wasn't allowed to work or do anything because of his marriage (ignoring he blew three different jobs). Or Jill tricked him. Or JB tricked him. He'll definitely make himself the victim which no one will believe  and argue with those on Twitter who point out the wrong parts in his "version" of what happened. And then his Mommy will come and tell people to stop being so mean to her son. 

[Georgiana]

18 minutes ago, JordynDarby5 said:

 

 

I can see Derick doing exactly that. He'll find a passage or something to use to explain why he's the victim and divorcing Jill. He'll blame Jill. He'll blame JB. Very much the way he tries to claim that he wasn't fired from TLC. But that they were volunteers and never got any money. How he couldn't believe TLC wouldn't pay for hospital bills. Maybe he'll say Jill misrepresented herself (meanwhile everyone on Twitter will point out he could have watched Jill on TV at any point to learn about her), that JB lied to him about her (ignoring twitter pointing that Derick sought JB out as a prayer partner). That he was tricked into the marriage and had no choice (again ignoring that Derick could have said no at any point up until the wedding), Jill lied about wanting to be missionary (ignoring that he didn't bother to find out that what her idea of that was),  that the whole thing was a set up to lure  him into marriage (again ignoring that he sought JB out as prayer partner JB did not approach him), or that he was used all for ratings or for the show (ignoring that he could have said no and really wanted the attention). That he wasn't allowed to work or do anything because of his marriage (ignoring he blew three different jobs). Or Jill tricked him. Or JB tricked him. He'll definitely make himself the victim which no one will believe  and argue with those on Twitter who point out the wrong parts in his "version" of what happened. And then his Mommy will come and tell people to stop being so mean to her son. 

Nailed it.  

The way things are going, Jill is eventually going to have to completely choose between her family or her husband.  And I don't mean just backing her husband.  I mean if Derick doesn't slow his roll, eventually she's going to have to choose which side she wants to be in contact with...because I think we may be close to Derick not allowing anyone on his "side" who is in contact with his in-laws.  I think Jill will try to choose Derick ("leave and cleave"), but I don't think she can actually handle being cut off from her family unit.  That's all she has.  Those are her first set of kids.  

When she eventually caves, possibly over something as innocuous as contact during the holidays, I can see him flipping out and writing the above post.  I think we will hear a lot about snakes and wolves in sheep's clothing and evil women tongues.  Sometimes I wonder if that evil woman tongue Bible verse he posted out of no where was because Jill tried to stick up for her family/her parents to him.

And then Cathy will show up with her assumptions and sock identification skills, talking like she's an expert and being disappointed in Jill for everything under the sun including not providing her a granddaughter, like Jill's uterus magically came up with a Y chromosome just to spite her.

[Drala]

Without Jill and the Duggar family, D'Wreck is just another crackpot on social media.  As long as he's linked to them, he's a public figure.  If he dumps Jill or otherwise breaks his ties to the Duggars, he has no claim to fame, no following of his own.  There may be a few lost souls convinced he's a Christian leader/thinker worth following on social media, but I don't see him having broad appeal on his own even among fundamentalists.  He's too quarrelsome and condescending, and not especially charming or likable.  Without Jill, D'Wreck is nobody.

[Sky with diamonds]

Derick needs a big dose of reality. I had a major wake up call last year when my mother was very sick. Derick's mother was also very sick at one point, I can't believe how he has turned out after that. I honestly had hopes for the guy. 

[HarleyQuinn]

Ofwreck is at it again.

 

[Beermeet]

@HarleyQuinn  ofwreck!  Omg. Dead.

[AliceInFundyland]

Yeah, you win the internet @HarleyQuinn ! Best new nickname in ages.

[acheronbeach]

17 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Ofwreck is at it again.

 

Yeesh her jokes always fall so flat.

[bekkah]

7 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I loved McDonalds in India! I'm vegetarian so it was amazing to be able to go absolutely anywhere and find lots of vegetarian options. I loved how many fast food restaurants have a whole side of the store just for vegetarian food, like at Subway where you wait in a different line depending on whether you're vegetarian or not.

India made me see being veg as a positive. I honestly love their chicken in India, I just need a high protein diet is what I found out while living there and some meat a week. 

 

The cheese pizza was the the best cheese pizza I ever had. Whatever they seasoned it with was delicious. And their sweets. 

[candygirl200413]

When people use a lol for a joke that isn't funny....

[kat]

Hope I did this correctly...

[Jkaeekjj]

On 5/8/2018 at 7:38 PM, victoriasponge said:

<snip>

Like I know you’re meant to come away from that knowing ‘it’s a bad thing’ but he doesn’t actually say that. He does say abortion is a Bad Thing. And gay sex. And that True Christians (tm) reject sin and love Jesus. 

This is what strikes me most with the Duggars, and others who follow their beliefs:

When Jesus talks about rejecting sin, he is talking about rejecting sin in your own life. What are YOU doing that is sinful? How are YOU not living his message of loving and caring for the “least of us”? His message was never one of “look for the sin in others and judge the hell out of them”. Unfortunately, this whole clan is more focused on looking for and pointing out the supposed sin in others, rather than looking at how they can better live Jesus’ message.

(Jesus’ message, of course, said nothing about abortion or gay marriage, but what do I know?  I’m just the wife to a man with his MDiv, who refuses to attend church, works full time, has tattoos and cussed like a sailor)

[clueliss]

I've taken the Perspectives Course (and have a certificate proving I did the legit homework/wrote a paper).  It's a great class.  But even I am confused at what Jill said.  (I may also hold out some slim hope that maybe they recognize some of the errors of their ways in how they treat others but I'm not going to hold my breath)

[BunnyBee]

Apparently some Duggar cousin (surprisingly not Famy) is calling out Dwreck for being a homophobe

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2018/05/jill-duggar-cousin-slams-derick-dillard-homophobic-comments-counting-on/

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, BunnyBee said:

Apparently some Duggar cousin (surprisingly not Famy) is calling out Dwreck for being a homophobe

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2018/05/jill-duggar-cousin-slams-derick-dillard-homophobic-comments-counting-on/

So if his mother is a first cousin of JB, then he is second cousins with Jill. At least that’s what I’m gathering from the info provided in the link.