Dillards 57: Run, D’Wreck, Run!

[SweetJuly]

Personally, I have always found lifestyles the most appealing and attractive if the people following them were happy, fulfilled, glowing, full of love and kindness towards others.

Irrespective whether the lifestyle is a religious or secular one, whether the people live in a commune or a penthouse - if a person is genuinely happy with their life, so much that they have become a force for good and love in their family and community, I will be interested in and possibly attracted to them and the life they have chosen.

If, however, they'd give me the impression that they are unfulfilled, angry, stressed, oppressive and hate-filled (and this can be the case with hippies just as much as with religious fundamentalists!), I'd run as far from them as possible.

Derick is a terrible ambassador for Christianity in general and evangelical fundamentalism in particular.

[squiddysquid]

Somebody should ask Derick on twitter to post a photo with a gay friend waving a rainbow flag.

or something like that. Then I might believe him.

[Iamtheway]

10 hours ago, apandaaries said:

(in my personal experience, these would be the people excited to see say, a McDonald's while abroad).

Once while travelling and feeling a bit homesick I really enjoyed hanging out at Ikea for a while (we also went there to buy food we missed while we lived in Australia). I got really excited about McD that time we had accidently ordered beef soup in China (we’re vegetarians). They are also great for ac and free wifi. Other then that I think I’ve done pretty well learning and enjoying other cultures. 

I love travelling but have only travelled to visit family since Miniway was born and I am really, really looking forward to the 3-week train trip around Europe we’re going on this summer. So excited! 

5 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Derick, you might claim that you have homosexual friends, but I'm betting none of these are real friends.

Do we have any proof at all Derick has any real friends? Homosexual or not?

3 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

Personally, I have always found lifestyles the most appealing and attractive if the people following them were happy, fulfilled, glowing, full of love and kindness towards others.

I’m as atheist as they get but I have visited my friends church a couple of time and it’s been such a lovely experience and everyone has been so happy, welcoming and friendly that I have felt a little sorry about my lack of faith. Derick only makes me feel sorry people like him exsists. 

[Marionette]

17 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

It's because fundies believe witchcraft is real, as the Bible specifically prohibits it, while Disney magic and the force are more obviously fantasy to them. There are also plenty of fundies who avoid any kind of fantasy at all, of course. 

Hmm, well I guess that goes to show I grew up in a family that was all about exposing the "hidden messages" of Disney fantasy films... So I was taught that there was no difference between HP & fantasy and forget people are fine with one & not the other lol 

[HarryPotterFan]

18 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

It's because fundies believe witchcraft is real, as the Bible specifically prohibits it, while Disney magic and the force are more obviously fantasy to them. There are also plenty of fundies who avoid any kind of fantasy at all, of course. 

Well now I really want to send a fundie a Hogwarts letter because they won’t know it’s not real. Maybe they’ll flip out and run off to a tiny little house on the sea to hide from the incoming barrage of letters.

16 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Also, just because he went to public school does not mean that he was exposed to all kinds of people.  I went to a lily-white public school in a suburb of Houston, and I swear that I was one of the few brunettes, for real.  There were a handful of black people, no Jews, no Muslims.  They barely tolerated Catholics (this was 30 years ago, FTR).  I know now that there were gay kids, but they weren't out---not a one.  So, saying you were exposed to a diverse range of people because you went to a public school doesn't automatically compute to me.

QFT. My public high school was very white and middle to upper middle class. Very liberal as well. To the point where I hadn’t even heard of same sex couples being unable to attend prom together until I was in college or even later. I remember being shocked during the 2004 election when I learned same sex marriage wasn’t legal. I assumed it was. I assumed everyone just accepted gay marriage because it never occurred to me someone wouldn’t. Just like Derick, who is over twice the age I was then, assumes everyone is against it. It’s making assumptions about the entire world based on your limited experience. Somehow, despite being an adult who has lived in foreign countries, he somehow has the limited experience of a child.

7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I can't imagine why any gay person would want to be friends with Derick unless it was a Cady Heron infiltration operation with the goal of destroying him. 

Yesss!!! Who has access to Kalteen bars? We can send Valentine grams to Sam, Izzy, Cathy, and Dan. “Four for you Israel! You go Israel! And none for Jill Dillard, bye!!” And then she’ll spill all their secrets.

[VelociRapture]

8 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I can't imagine why any gay person would want to be friends with Derick unless it was a Cady Heron infiltration operation with the goal of destroying him. 

... I really need this to happen now... 

(Also, we totally just had a few Mean Girls references in the Carlin Bates thread and it was wonderful.)

[Satan'sFortress]

16 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

So I've just discovered that my cousin's stepkids attended RHS at about the same time (one graduated a year earlier, one a year later, and one three years later) as Dwreck. hm

[Rachel333]

I actually like to go to McDonald's while abroad.  (And I never go here.) It's interesting to see the regional differences in something so familiar. 

[Joyfully_Unavailable]

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jill-derick-dillard-website-charity-159464

Hmmm...

[Alisamer]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I actually like to go to McDonald's while abroad.  (And I never go here.) It's interesting to see the regional differences in something so familiar. 

We actually went to the McDonald's at Downtown Disney outside Paris... but it was because all the counter service food we had in the parks was terrible. Everywhere else in Paris the food was fantastic, but not at Disneyland!

My sister ordered a Royale with Cheese, because of course. But she actually got star-shaped chicken nuggets. They were super busy and customer service wasn't their strong suit. 

[FluffySnowball]

Have i totally missed this being discussed here or are the information incorrect in the article? I’m confused 

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jill-duggar-midwife-company-158672

[Georgiana]

I'm sure Derick DOES have "gay friends" aka openly gay acquaintances from college who are "friends" with him on social media from college and haven't de-friended him either because he's too unimportant to show on their timelines OR because they want to keep tabs on him.  But like real friends that interact with him all the time?  Nope.  

If you ever go to China YOU NEED TO GO TO KFC.  I am not kidding. KFC in China is different, and somehow it is like the most Godly Chicken you have ever put in your mouth.  But be sure to ask for potatoes (don't worry, they provide picture menus for pointing at most locations), because the default side-dish with your meal is corn.  

Also, witchcraft IS real, and there are some practicing witches here on FJ!  It doesn't look at all like Harry Potter, but there are people who openly practice and pass down a Craft.  It's absolutely just as terrifying to fundies as Harry Potter because many witches call upon the god(s) using their own names for them and often recognize more than one deity (it's customary to recognize both a supreme Male and Female power, though there's nothing to say you cannot believe them to be two aspects of one overarching whole).  Anyways, it's all very pagan and often non-Western, which are the two scariest things for fundies, and since anything scary is Satan, it's probably all Satanic too.  

Not that it matters to me.  If Derick had a cold, I wouldn't give him a healing tea anyways.  

[728011]

And Jill is at it again on Instagram. I really need to learn to not read the comments or engage in a discussion with her followers. As a lesbian it hurts my heart.

[wendy-sparkles]

This is the post. I feel like Derick has said something like this before, about disagreeing with your child? 

Spoiler

 

Edited to add:

Of course nobody expects to agree with their friends and loved ones 100%?? But there's a huge difference between that, which is a normal part of life, and and doing some sort of twitter audition to be a hate preacher and then turning around and facetiously saying you believe in loving everyone. It's such a false equivalency to say that.

If you were really worried for the souls of TLC employees, instead of abusing them online, why not just quietly and unobtrusively pray for them? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone and all.

Also, ugh, the comparison of LGBT people to Israel, as if your toddler having some silly notion is the same as any of the things Derick is mad about at all. I know Jill posted this, but I just remembered where I remember Derick saying a similar thing - about Israel wanting to undo his carseat and get out of a moving car. something like that??? Anyway I don't want to take away agency from Jill or anything, but for sure Derick posted this (or dictated it at the very least): notice the #lack #of #hashtags

 

[TatiFish9]

Jilly Muffin standing by her man. I am surprised she finally spoke through the 4th wall.

Derick want to play hero for alllll the people who agree with you, but are too afraid? Good luck with that, bro. Your own extended family won't ruin their brand to do so. They won't protect ya if things get hot, because your initials are not JD. Gotta fight through this sh*t storm on your own.

Derick must not know the Josh Duggar scandal timeline. 'til this day I say if Michelle had not participated in those robocalls, this family would have escaped the media circus that led to Josh's noteriaty. 

Derick best become a little less reckless with his *disagreeing* before this monster grows a head.

[HarleyQuinn]

Jill, if you think your "friends" are going to hell because they were born loving someone of the same sex, then you don't truly love them for who they are and they're not your friend.  Disagreeing on things like politics is natural. Considering someone an abomination because they are different from you is not the same thing.

You're a hateful bigot just like your #besthubbyever. Kindly fuck off. 

[EmmieJ]

I don't agree with anyone 100%.  But there are lines that once crossed, mean I can no longer truly be friends with someone.  This happened most recently after the Stoneman Douglas school shootings and the subsequent activism by the students.  I found the students inspirational and courageous and attempting to do something to better the world around them by speaking out for better gun regulations in this country.  Sadly, a person I considered a friendly acquaintance and was a FB friend started posted memes I found offensive, basically deriding the students.  I ignored the first post, responded to the second meme with my point of view, but when she posted a third meme - I posted back that I was unfriending her and why.  No exclamation points used, no name calling, I just said I could not be friends with someone who mocked the young people who are fighting to make the world a better place.

Shortly after that, I deactivated my FB account (for other reasons).  

I have friends from all walks of life.  I like people based on who they are:  Are they decent people?  kind to others?  honest?  have a sense of humor?  smart?  creative?  All good!  But you mock high school students who have just endured a truly horrifying situation in which they saw death, expected death, and now their lives have changed forever?  You are off my friend list and that's that.  No grey area there.

You want to insist that anything other than man-woman coupling is a sin, and try to control my body and my decisions?  You are off my friend list.

You want to ask for hand outs from strangers because you don't want to work for a living?  Off my friend list.

Jill married a dud.  I think JB will probably protect them from the worst of financial woes, but I predict their standard of living is going to be less than other Duggar siblings, because Derick really, really doesn't want to work hard for a living.

[PennySycamore]

My daughter and son-in-law ate at McDonad's a lot when they where in China to pick up their daughters.  The eldest one has albinism and they got the dirtiest looks when they'd bring her into most restaurants, or anyplace really.  They also went to KFC a good deal.  These two restaurants were OK though.  They did eat a one great Chinese restaurant in Beijing prior to picking  their daughter up from the orphanage.  

As far as @FluffySnowball's post about Jill opening a midwifery practice,  she never finished her training to be a CPM, did she?  Besides "Labor Sit" sounds like a doula practice and she's not a qualified labor support doula either, AFAIK.

[NakedKnees]

McDonald's abroad is often better than McDonald's in the US (and more expensive). I get the impression that more care is taken and it's a bit more of an "experience" rather than something cheap to gulp down as fast as possible.

My first year in Chile I had nonstop cravings for Californian/USA-type food... burritos, In N Out, deep-dish pizza, things that are hard to get here. I couldn't get any of that out of my mind. Lo and behold, five years later it's all a complete non-issue. No idea what changed. I've always tried to be open to new foods and experiences, but, brains are weird and they just do what they do sometimes.

I've always thought that Derrick seemed better than the average Western foreigner at immersing himself in the culture of Nepal, but only on a fairly superficial level. Finding loopholds in Nepal's missionary laws (apologies if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that Nepal doesn't formally accept foreign religious missions) and generally spreading his poisonous brand of Western religion is horrible, and no amount of mind-opening treks and foods make up for that.

Scary Central America was different. I don't think Derrick truly immersed himself there, although I wonder what he would have done if he wasn't with Jill and the babies.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think open-mindedness to food and experiences is only a small part of being a Western Foreigner in other parts of the world. Being in a different culture is also different when present for leisure versus for the grind of daily life (although both are amazing and important in their own ways). I honestly can't speak much to what the missionary's experience of life abroad is, but I suppose I wouldn't really categorize Derrick's experience as "leisure" nor "daily grind."

[Georgiana]

Is it possible to disagree that certain people should be allowed basic human rights and still love them?  I mean, hypothetically I guess...but in practice, if you think I should be banned from voting, working, marrying whom I choose, making my own medical decisions, making my own financial decisions, etc. isn't that hateful?  And doesn't that mean you hate me?

You can't tell a person "I love you, but I disagree that you should live" or "I love you, but I disagree that your children being gunned down at an alarmingly disproportionate rate is an issue" or "I love you, but I disagree that you should have human rights".  At some point, you've either corrupted and distorted the meaning of love, or you've crossed the line into something else.  Not usually hate, but certainly apathy.

I don't think it makes sense to say "I love you, but I want the WORST things for you".  I believe that in the definition of "love" it is required that you want GOOD things for a person.  If you don't want good things for them, you don't love them.  

I'm one of the people who chooses to remain friends with others no matter their political beliefs.  Having left and removed myself from a fundie-lite religious community while still keeping the social network in my life, I was very, very used to having people in my life that I disagreed with strongly.  

But this is just an over-extension.  As soon as you start to make commentaries on the basic rights of others, you can no longer disagree "safely".  Your disagreement is, by it's very nature, a commentary on what you think they deserve.  And if that commentary is not loving, then your disagreement is not "in love" either.  

[TatiFish9]

15 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Is it possible to disagree that certain people should be allowed basic human rights and still love them? 

[···]

I don't think it makes sense to say "I love you, but I want the WORST things for you".  I believe that in the definition of "love" it is required that you want GOOD things for a person.  If you don't want good things for them, you don't love them.  

 

I think what Derick is saying comes from a place of frustration, not love.

In general,  the average Christian finds themselves strung up in a series of ironies. On one hand they're scolded or guilted by the church for not following the Great Commision, which is considered an act of Christian love and for many truly comes from a good place. On the other hand - from the perspective of the other, to proselytize is considered an act of hate especially if the message requires infringement upon civil liberties. 

It's a tough call. For myself, I no longer "witness" in the traditional sense. If someone asks me about my faith, I will explain my very liberal and most likely not even accepted by traditionalists, Christian beliefs. If someone is hurting I will share my experience. I think indignation is what destroys this sort of ministry, anyhow. People don't want to hear someone who is condescending or chastising into embracing their views. Some don't want to hear at all because they're confident in their own believe system.

I also wonder if Derick and Jill suffer from gross naivete. I don't understand how they lived abroad and came back with the same ideas as before. This is why they're said to have a "savior complex" not true concern for the populations they've worked with. I don't know if that is accurate, but I think they have gained too much exposure to other culture to be spewing off this kind of faulty logic. To compare parent to child relationship already indicates a dominate party versus a subservient/dependent one.

#badanalogy

[VelociRapture]

Dear Jill,

Spoiler

Just kidding. Pretty sure no one is surprised by your views and that no one here has seriously been rooting for you for a while you ignorant twit. 

 

28 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

I think what Derick is saying comes from a place of frustration, not love.

In general,  the average Christian finds themselves strung up in a series of ironies. On one hand they're scolded or guilted by the church for not following the Great Commision, which is considered an act of Christian love and for many truly comes from a good place. On the other hand - from the perspective of the other, to proselytize is considered an act of hate especially if the message requires infringement upon civil liberties. 

It's a tough call. For myself, I no longer "witness" in the traditional sense. If someone asks me about my faith, I will explain my very liberal and most likely not even accepted by traditionalists, Christian beliefs. If someone is hurting I will share my experience. I think indignation is what destroys this sort of ministry, anyhow. People don't want to hear someone who is condescending or chastising into embracing their views. Some don't want to hear at all because they're confident in their own believe system.

I also wonder if Derick and Jill suffer from gross naivete. I don't understand how they lived abroad and came back with the same ideas as before. This is why they're said to have a "savior complex" not true concern for the populations they've worked with. I don't know if that is accurate, but I think they have gained too much exposure to other culture to be spewing off this kind of faulty logic. To compare parent to child relationship already indicates a dominate party versus a subservient/dependent one.

#badanalogy

#badanalogy #badopinion #badpapa #worsthubby #imanignoranttwit #everyoneisdumberforhavingreadthis #maygodhavemercyonthedillssouls #freeizzyandsam

There you go Jill! Some new hashtags to test out! 

[Joyfully_Unavailable]

#hubbyletmewatchstarwars

[Rachel333]

2 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

Derick must not know the Josh Duggar scandal timeline. 'til this day I say if Michelle had not participated in those robocalls, this family would have escaped the media circus that led to Josh's noteriaty. 

Maybe the molestation stuff, which was the biggest for non-fundies, but I think the Ashley Madison stuff would have come out anyway.

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, TatiFish9 said:

<snip>

I also wonder if Derick and Jill suffer from gross naivete. I don't understand how they lived abroad and came back with the same ideas as before. This is why they're said to have a "savior complex" not true concern for the populations they've worked with. I don't know if that is accurate, but I think they have gained too much exposure to other culture to be spewing off this kind of faulty logic. To compare parent to child relationship already indicates a dominate party versus a subservient/dependent one.

#badanalogy

I really appreciated your post, btw  I'm only snipping for brevity.  

I wrote about this in the Jessa thread, but I really do believe that one of the things Jill and Derick share is a massive superiority complex.  Jill wasn't just raised to be a Christian.  She was raised to believe she was a Christian who was better even than other Christians.  Derick, I don't really know where his comes from, but I do believe that one of the reasons he was drawn to Jill was that she was the "perfect" Duggar daughter.  And he felt that a perfect missionary Christian such as himself DESERVED the perfect more Christian than other Christians wife.  

I think that this sense of superiority is even evident in Jill's interactions with her peers: she's always giving advice, even when it is odd or strange for her to do so, but she rarely, if ever, seriously listens or considers input from others.  I think she genuinely believes that she is more right than other people, and that other people NEED her superior wisdom.  I think both Derick and Jill find it natural that there is a dominant/dependent dynamic: they are the "betters" and we are the people in need of their counsel.  I think this feeds in to their missionary work and why they are unsuccessful missionaries.  

I don't think they believe that most people even have anything to teach them.  Certainly not the populations they minister to.   Certainly not the people who are "lesser" Christians than they.  That's why they don't learn.  That's why they don't change.  They don't think they need to.  

I don't think this is intentional.  Growing up, Jill didn't have a lot of peer interaction.  Mostly, she was with her buddy group where she was in charge and admired.  She never learned how to take criticism or how to be a member of a team when not the leader.  She never learned how to critically think, and she was never provided with an objective view of her abilities and progress in comparison to her peers.  She never had the experience of others being better or more capable than she was.  Her only ability to gauge herself came from her parents, who had their own agenda, and mostly from kids younger than herself.  I think this lead to an inflated sense of self.  Young kids are lovely, but they are also some of the purest sycophants you will ever meet.  Jill doesn't see herself as prideful, but her actions show her to be.  Derick is straight up arrogant.  They won't ever learn until life sets them down a few pegs and they realize that other people have things to teach them.  Until then, they're going to keep preaching at us like they are our spiritual superiors, because deep down, that's what they believe themselves to be.