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The Staddons 2: Continuing into the Next Generation


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1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

Interesting. I read that part and felt the opposite. It goes to show how cynical I’ve become! I hope she’s getting married because she found someone worth giving up being single for and not because she felt pressure to “give up” being single. 

This is how I imagine fundie girls that get married in their mid 30s like Esther:

Teen: obsess over the boy they will marry one day. Devouring books written by Sarah Mally or Josh Harris. 
 

20s: feeling constantly left out because all your friends are getting married and having babies. Trying your hardest to find something to occupy your time and feel useful because you were taught all your life that your only use is as a wife and mother.

30s: finally accepting that you may not ever marry. Start to enjoy the independence it may provide. Finding work that might fulfill you. <~I think this could have happened with Sarah Maxwell and Jana may also be in this stage of life. 
 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Esther finally found contentment in her work and independence as a single fundie female in her 30s. Parents do seem to give their spinster daughters much more freedom than their 20 year old daughters. Imagine accepting that and maybe even enjoying it. And then this guy comes along and shakes that up.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A little late to the party, but I just found Jonathan and Esther's website. I read through their (very) short courtship story. I get the feeling that neither of them felt the need to write out every single detail that happened as they are busy planning a wedding and Esther (most likely) is getting ready to move out of the country. I'd be very surprised if we don't hear more. 

As for Esther stating that she wasn't sure if she wanted to get married. I took that part as Esther saying she wanted to make sure she married for love. Rereading through the story I get the feeling that both Jonathan and Esther started an online getting to know you period with only their parents knowing so they didn't feel pressured by their siblings to continue. From the way it sounds, to me, it looks like they started shortly after Michael and Elizabeth got married. If so, then they may have wanted to keep things a little quiet so it wouldn't make things awkward with Michael and Elizabeth if things didn't work out.

It sounds really strange, but I have a feeling that there wasn't a lot of pressure on Esther to get married as she has been living away from home from time to time at IBLP. If there was pressure for her to wed, then I believe she would've been married off years ago rather than in her mid-30's. Jonathan probably just came along at the right moment to sweep her off her feet. But, that is just my take on the situation. The fact that Esther is getting married is a shock to me.

Edited by NancyDrewFan1989
Update misinformation
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  • 1 month later...

Ok I’m not going to lie, the fact that they are doing it at Big Sandy with the campgrounds and cafeteria is so much better than some fundie weddings. Families are probably coming from out of town and they probably don’t have tons of money to spend on a hotel. Staying in a camper is probably much more affordable for some of these families. Plus they can make a weekend of it on the grounds. They can hang out with other families and “fellowship.”

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I just noted that at the top of the registry it says-

We appreciate "like new" gifts as well. 

I hope it means friends and family handing on to the next generation  things that they have treasured.

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4 hours ago, Sops2 said:

I just noted that at the top of the registry it says-

We appreciate "like new" gifts as well. 

I hope it means friends and family handing on to the next generation  things that they have treasured.

That's actually pretty cool. I also read it as "if you have an item from our registry lying around your house, no shame in gifting us that instead of a new one". It's very considerate of their guests. It must be really expensive for fundie families to attend multiple weddings a year and buy a nice gift each time. 

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16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’m not going to lie, the fact that they are doing it at Big Sandy with the campgrounds and cafeteria is so much better than some fundie weddings. Families are probably coming from out of town and they probably don’t have tons of money to spend on a hotel. Staying in a camper is probably much more affordable for some of these families. Plus they can make a weekend of it on the grounds. They can hang out with other families and “fellowship.”

I would like a wedding like this (minus all the fundie crap like no dancing, no booze, patriarchy, sexism, etc.) It would be lowkey and down-to-earth but you could fit in a great deal of people and maybe have a dancefloor and stuff like that. I don't need fancy stuff at a wedding, a bbq would be just fine. An open bar is - of course - always much appreciated.

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3 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

That's actually pretty cool. I also read it as "if you have an item from our registry lying around your house, no shame in gifting us that instead of a new one". It's very considerate of their guests. It must be really expensive for fundie families to attend multiple weddings a year and buy a nice gift each time. 

I always wonder how fundies can afford all the weddings. I imagine they are invited to many and only go to the ones that are close by, or they are close to the family. Because your typical big fundie family probably can’t afford a trip out of town every weekend of the summer for a wedding. 

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On 2/24/2021 at 11:52 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I always wonder how fundies can afford all the weddings. I imagine they are invited to many and only go to the ones that are close by, or they are close to the family. Because your typical big fundie family probably can’t afford a trip out of town every weekend of the summer for a wedding. 

If my fundy relatives are typical, they go in with a bunch of family members, each chipping in today's equivalent of $2 in 1980, to purchase something like a fake flower candle ring, and maybe even a candle if there's enough money. Or, they just send a card with a nice tract inside. We got, from one uncle and aunt, the 20th century classic "Papa, Hell is So Hot!"

Edited by Black Aliss
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2 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

 We got, from one uncle and aunt, the 20th century classic "Papa, Hell is So Hot!"

I had to look this one up. I must say, it's a bit long and boring compared to a Chick tract, and could have benefited from some illustrations. I'm also baffled as to why they were going to revivals if the father didn't believe and didn't want his daughter to be saved. Oh well, I supposed not everyone can be Jack Chick. 

Papa, Hell is So Hot

Edited by katilac
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2 hours ago, katilac said:

I had to look this one up. I must say, it's a bit long and boring compared to a Chick tract, and could have benefited from some illustrations. I'm also baffled as to why they were going to revivals if the father didn't believe and didn't want his daughter to be saved. Oh well, I supposed not everyone can be Jack Chick. 

Papa, Hell is So Hot

Yeah, it has more plot holes than Serena's Serenity and Ride Sally Ride together. As a wedding gift it's also weird AF, even for fundies.

Jack Chick was definitely a legend in his own time mind.

Edited by Black Aliss
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On 12/28/2020 at 10:20 AM, sleepygirl1 said:

Wasn’t there another couple that did something similar to this where the bride didn’t know the day of the wedding?

That was the Maranatha and Matthew Chapman courtship. The father was a total patriarchal dick. 

Here's a good summary from an archived fj thread: Revisiting the Chapman's Wedding

I am still, to this day, gobsmacked that Maranatha and Matthew, the fundiest of all fundies, ended up opening a CrossFit box in Tyler, TX in 2010:  Premier CrossFit

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On 2/24/2021 at 6:50 AM, Sops2 said:

I just noted that at the top of the registry it says-

We appreciate "like new" gifts as well. 

I hope it means friends and family handing on to the next generation  things that they have treasured.

 

On 2/24/2021 at 11:24 AM, usedbicycle said:

That's actually pretty cool. I also read it as "if you have an item from our registry lying around your house, no shame in gifting us that instead of a new one". It's very considerate of their guests. It must be really expensive for fundie families to attend multiple weddings a year and buy a nice gift each time. 

 

Agreed, and I love that this is picking up traction among people making registries nowadays. It's not a new concept, but I personally had never encountered an invitation to supply a gently used/vintage version of a gift item until a few years ago. (For context, I'm a middle-aged lady who moves in "crunchy" circles.) However, I'm fresh off of shopping for someone who has done this, and I thought it was so elegantly managed. One of my coworkers is expecting her first child in a few months, and she posted  a note on almost everything  on her online registry that said "We welcome previously loved and handmade items!" A longer version of that note is appended to the top of the registry. It just seemed like such a neat blend of modern tech and timeless graciousness.

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I suspect bridal registries were begun to avoid this scenario: my ex and his ex-wife received four fondue pots as wedding presents -- fondue pots were BIG in the 1970s.  

I can imagine couples these days receiving multiple air fryers, though. 

 

Edited by Howl
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9 hours ago, Howl said:

That was the Maranatha and Matthew Chapman courtship. The father was a total patriarchal dick. 

Here's a good summary from an archived fj thread: Revisiting the Chapman's Wedding

I am still, to this day, gobsmacked that Maranatha and Matthew, the fundiest of all fundies, ended up opening a CrossFit box in Tyler, TX in 2010:  Premier CrossFit

I probably said this in another thread but I think CrossFit is like a more lax version of an exercise cult. It’s the only way my brain can make the connection from fundie cult to CrossFit. 

BTW, I love the concept of registries. I hate buying gifts for people I don’t know super well. I hate the idea I might be buying something they already have. Registries fix that problem!

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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46 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I probably said this in another thread but I think CrossFit is like a more lax version of an exercise cult. It’s the only way my brain can make the connection from fundie cult to CrossFit. 

Last week I googled "CrossFit + Evangelical Christians" and a few other variations because of Marjorie Taylor Greene's involvement with CrossFit.    At one point she was CrossFit obsessed and spent entire days at CrossFit working out, 'cause rich lady, not much else to do. 

No articles popped up, though.  @JermajestyDuggar, have you seen any written work about a connection? 

 

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10 minutes ago, Howl said:

Last week I googled "CrossFit + Evangelical Christians" and a few other variations because of Marjorie Taylor Greene's involvement with CrossFit.    At one point she was CrossFit obsessed and spent entire days at CrossFit working out, 'cause rich lady, not much else to do. 

No articles popped up, though.  @JermajestyDuggar, have you seen any written work about a connection? 

 

No, it’s just a pet theory of mine. Stemming from the belief that once you are in one cult, you are more likely to join another. I wouldn’t call CrossFit a cult. But I think it’s cultish in ways.

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8 hours ago, Howl said:

I suspect bridal registries were begun to avoid this scenario: my ex and his ex-wife received four fondue pots as wedding presents -- fondue pots were BIG in the 1970s.  

I can imagine couples these days receiving multiple air fryers, though. 

 

My SIL, who was married in 1981, got 4 crock pots.

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On 2/27/2021 at 3:46 PM, zeebaneighba said:

My SIL, who was married in 1981, got 4 crock pots.

Good friend of mine, married in the early 90s, got 5 chip and dip sets!

 

I imagine a wedding weekend on the Big Sandy campus is a great spouse hunting venue for the fundy maidens and godly young men. You can sit around in your best clothes and "fellowship" with the opposite sex while you wait for that damn trumpet to sound. Then you can "just happen" to walk to the wedding chapel together.

[if only there were still pocket hankerchiefs and gloves to "accidentally" drop]

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20 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Good friend of mine, married in the early 90s, got 5 chip and dip sets!

 

I imagine a wedding weekend on the Big Sandy campus is a great spouse hunting venue for the fundy maidens and godly young men. You can sit around in your best clothes and "fellowship" with the opposite sex while you wait for that damn trumpet to sound. Then you can "just happen" to walk to the wedding chapel together.

[if only there were still pocket hankerchiefs and gloves to "accidentally" drop]

This might be why some of them attend these weddings. They know their single adult children will meet other single adult fundies that could turn into a courtship.

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On 2/27/2021 at 4:55 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

BTW, I love the concept of registries. I hate buying gifts for people I don’t know super well. I hate the idea I might be buying something they already have. Registries fix that problem!

My husband and I were slow getting a wedding registry online and a very kind coworker of my mother bought us a pasta maker several months before the wedding. Very nice of her but we realized it was better to just start a registry so we didn't end up with multiple pasta makers we couldn't return!

Also, my husband is from a country where you simply send money for weddings directly to the couple's bank account. It is not seen as tacky or rude to put the bank account information on a wedding invite. He was very confused by the concept of registries!

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I have a wedding present story, too (putting it behind spoilers since it doesn't really add anything to the discussion, but I wanted to get it off my chest...

Spoiler

My husband and I really wanted a Kitchen Aid mixer for our wedding, but my MIL disapproved because it was American and she was convinced that a German model would be better quality ?, plus she claimed it was too expensive. So instead, all my in-laws gave us cash, and when we added it up it turned out to be exactly enough for... one lovely Kitchen Aid mixer. We still have it, still love it, and - surprise! - it turned out to be perfectly solid - just one minor repair in twenty years. So yeah, we got what we wanted eventually, but I'm still mad that they couldn't just give us what we'd asked for - would have been so much nicer than cash.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Judging by this quote from Esther on her wedding website, Jonathan  is going to sing at the wedding

"God incredibly brought together the song that Jonathan is composing for our wedding much more quickly that we would have ever dreamed possible."

Even more to look forward to.

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30 minutes ago, Sops2 said:

Judging by this quote from Esther on her wedding website, Jonathan  is going to sing at the wedding

"God incredibly brought together the song that Jonathan is composing for our wedding much more quickly that we would have ever dreamed possible."

Even more to look forward to.

I really hope he’s a decent singer. It seems that so many fundie males are over confident in their abilities because they were born with a penis. And that’s why we get so many grooms singing horribly at their weddings. Denver Bontrager was a most recent example. 

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