Dillards 41: Chocolate, Cheese, and Other Things More Interesting

[grandmadugger]

3 hours ago, Lurky said:

I wonder if Derick also had his nose put out of joint by Jeremy coming along?  Before Jeremy, he was the alpha son in law, the older one who'd seen a bit of the world, and was the (relatively!) cool one.  Then Jeremy came along, and one-ups him in every way. 

Derick was Pistol Pete?  Jeremy was a professional athlete (even if at the lowest level).

Derick had traveled?  Jeremy had traveled more, and lived abroad independently.

Derick had been on missions?  Jeremy pastors his own church.

And so on, and so on, and so on.  Jeremy was friends with Ben first, so has more allies in the family.  And Jeremy has managed to be super-clever in how he's disentangled Jinger from the family (physically at least), yet still is an integral part of the brand,and Jinger seems to be thriving, as opposed to Jill's troubles in SCA.  And there have definitely been hints of Fundy catfights between the two. 

Not only did Jeremy demote him on all of what you stated but Ben has demoted him amongst fans and hate watchers. Derick is only a half a step above Josh and that can't be good. Even the white speck on top of chicken shit is still chicken shit. 

[Lurker]

Since Jeremy is a college graduate (possibly has some time in grad school?) that must also annoy Derrick since he is no longer the only educated one at the TTH.

[Kittikatz]

40 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

 

Who wants to start the betting pool on what Derick's hiding?

Not going to speculate, but I'd be inclined to bet on Dwrek hiding quite a bit. Some of the replies to his tweets (esp the Jazz bullying) have been from people who claim to have been at OSU with him. Several strongly implied that Derick was the last person to be talking. Not sure if any of it's real, but a whole lot of ultra controling religious types have some very bad skeletons in their personal closets. It will be interesting to see what comes out in the future.

[Carm_88]

23 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

Not only did Jeremy demote him on all of what you stated but Ben has demoted him amongst fans and hate watchers. Derick is only a half a step above Josh and that can't be good. Even the white speck on top of chicken shit is still chicken shit. 

Plus Ben and Jessa had their second child before the Dullards did. Derick seemed to be pretty smug about them getting married first, Jill being pregnant first; it must have stung his pride that they were behind Ben and Jessa in terms of kids. 

[SportsgalAnnie]

I sincerely hope they don't have girls.  I can't see him handling a daughter very well at all, especially if she is headstrong. 

[Lurker]

Also Jessa was able to deliver both babies vaginally, not by section.  Obviously Jill lost points in the Duggar birth off competition /s

Jessa has been able to develop an excellent and sympathetic on-line presence with her photos of her kids who are very photogenic as well as some flattering photos in People after Henry was born.  Meanwhile photos of Izzy and Sam do not get the same reception but have more controversy attached in the form of questions on black eyes, bruises, blanket training and mitts.

 

[Lurky]

1 hour ago, grandmadugger said:

Not only did Jeremy demote him on all of what you stated but Ben has demoted him amongst fans and hate watchers.

Good point.  I bet he assumed he would be like a big brother to Ben, but out of all the Duggar in-laws, Ben is the one thinking about things like racial equality, doing the football camps, and it's very clear Ben and Jessa are the ones leading the brand for the second gen kids, with Jinger the one people are most interested in. 

This must be hard for Jill too - brought up as the favourite daughter, the most Godly, it must be frightening for her that even though she prays and prays and tries to do everything right according to her parents' beliefs, it all went wrong for her, with difficult births and not being able to cope in SCA, and Jessa being the best at the "ministry".  I really hope that Derick's anger and unpleasant online persona is just a quirk, because if he's like that at home, life will be super-hard for Jill - he is her headship, and she can't tell him to get over it/chill out, or walk away from him, even to go for a coffee.

[DnAismyBaE]

I don't think I've ever posted on the Dillard threads before, and I know this has been touched on before, but I am just still so surprised how very wrong my first impression of Derick was. To me he seemed like a kinda dorky, unconventionally cute and sweet "normal" Christian boy. I really thought he may have been good for Jill. Even though I have never been the hugest fan of Jill, I still hoped she would have a happy life and marriage. My opinion of him definitely changed when he accused his sweet baby son of being manipulative for acting in a loving way towards his father. Who the fudge says that? Also in the past couple years he hasn't seemed too sweet or loving to Jill (on the show). Maybe it's different behind closed doors? I doubt it though. Everyone deserves to have a significant other that treasures them. Those things and he's a total bully to strangers too. Very Jesus like. What a super missionary 

[brusselsgriffon]

2 hours ago, Kittikatz said:

Not going to speculate, but I'd be inclined to bet on Dwrek hiding quite a bit. Some of the replies to his tweets (esp the Jazz bullying) have been from people who claim to have been at OSU with him. Several strongly implied that Derick was the last person to be talking. Not sure if any of it's real, but a whole lot of ultra controling religious types have some very bad skeletons in their personal closets. It will be interesting to see what comes out in the future.

Do you mind sharing the tweets from his OSU classmates? I've been reading his twitter replies and didn't see any like that, although there are sooo many people tweeting at him and telling him what an idiot he is that it takes awhile to go through them!! (Some of the replies to his tweets are pretty cruel btw and I almost start feeling sorry for him. Then I remember the things he says.) 

[Bad Wolf]

I remember they went to a Broadway show, and I thought he was introducing Jill to a more mainstream viewpoint. Silly me.

[grandmadugger]

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

Good point.  I bet he assumed he would be like a big brother to Ben, but out of all the Duggar in-laws, Ben is the one thinking about things like racial equality, doing the football camps, and it's very clear Ben and Jessa are the ones leading the brand for the second gen kids, with Jinger the one people are most interested in. 

Well Jeremy replaced him there too. Ben seems much closer to Jeremy than Dwreck. I never thought Ben and Dwreck would be close but it has been a long time since we've seen them speaking. 

[Snarkle Motion]

2 hours ago, DnAismyBaE said:

 

I don't think I've ever posted on the Dillard threads before, and I know this has been touched on before, but I am just still so surprised how very wrong my first impression of Derick was.

 

I completely agree. I thought Jessa was settling and Derick was by far the better catch so to speak. He seemed educated, relatively intelligent, well employed, less fundie, and like you said dorky and sweet. None of those things seem true now.

Ben was raised in a fundie homeschool family and basically ran off to stalk Jessa. And while he doesn't always seem well spoken in talking heads he's showing evidence of maturation and critical thinking. I suspect he may eventually even grow to accept and embrace the LGBTQ community as the Christian thing to do based on his studies of Wilberforce. Ben also has humility and the clear ability to laugh at himself (as evidenced by his painful foray into rap), which Derick doesn't seem to possess AT ALL. 

Ben appears to let Jessa call the shots overall, the only time I think he put his foot down was with naming Spurgeon but he appears to have compromised and allowed Jessa to name Henry (with Wilberforce as the middle name). That is impressive in my mind because it shows he doesn't have to play the "I'm the man" card with naming every son. And even with Spurgeon's name I have a feeling it was a fight and that was the reason for the delay, which demonstrates that Jessa was able to push back. She may have lost the battle but the very fact that it was a battle and not automatic submission speaks volumes fot Ben as in their culture he likely could have just demanded he get his way.

[DnAismyBaE]

I forgot to touch on one thing, and I'm sorry if it has been commented on before- like I said, I've never really participated in the Dillard threads. I know FJ does not like to speculate on and/or judge children (and please let me know if I'm crossing the line here; I truly don't mean to say anything that could be considered inappropriate) but Israel seems so much different from Spurge. I know every personality is different yada yada. But Israel seems so much less playful and in a way (even for a toddler) seems to be less talkative, like he is trying to "keep sweet". Spurge has no problem wrestling with his daddy, farting on him and acting generally nutty sometimes as toddlers often do. It makes me feel really sad for Izzy if he is being "trained" to be obedient 

[AprilQuilt]

@DnAismyBaE, I don't know if Izzy is being 'trained', but I think Spurgeon is definitely allowed to be more of a kid. I get the sense that Binessa really enjoy being parents to him, hence don't try to curb what is normal if exuberant behaviour.

J&D, meanwhile... struggle. Whether it's outside stresses impacting, or parenting a littlun being something they don't love (in which case good luck spawning eleventy of 'em), they just don't seem to get so much joy from his kid-ness.

It's hard to tell by just TV editing and what they curate on social media (the Seewalds are a million times better at this than the Dillards in every way), but it seems like B&J are so willing to get on Spurge's level. Literally - Ben getting on the floor to play - and figuratively - Jessa narrating his activity, showing him how to use the radio, chatting about his thoughts. J&D call their kid manipulative when he's kind and sweet. 

I've NO idea whether Israel is being blanket trained or whatnot, but parenting him just as he is doesn't seem to come as easily or as joyfully to J&D as it does to J&B. Idk if the kids are front and centre in the Seewalds' lives because they don't have much else going on, or if they would always be so enthusiastic about parenting, but I think that Spurgeon and Henry fit into their life really well, whereas Israel and Samuel are sort of a hindrance to what their parents REALLY want to be doing, ie missionary in SCA, footloose and fancy free.

(or it could just be a personality thing.)

[AlwaysExcited]

9 hours ago, Eatingintheprayercloset said:

Wouldn't be glorious if Derick ran into a group of soldiers who are Transgender? I wonder if he would be brave enough to say something? Or does he only have Twitter fingers and directs his BS towards women and children?

"You are trans? Uhh... oh. Ummm... welll... Thanks for your service?... Army is truly a great thing. One of my in-laws may join one day."

[LacyMay]

I know it's been mentioned time and time again but I can't get over the difference in parenting between the Dillards and Seewalds. This was so apparent on yesterday's Counting On episode with Ben playing with Spurgeon and talking about how he's learned what Binessa finds funny and will do it on purpose and smile when they laugh.

Spurgeon does things intentionally to make Binessa laugh. And Ben calls him perceptive. 

Izzy does something equally sweet and Derjerk calls him manipulative. 

I know they all have the same set of toxic beliefs. But at the very least I think that Spurgeon and Henry are being given a much more positive environment to be little in. 

[EmmyJay]

6 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I had a hunch that the Duggars were hiding some messed-up shit before the Josh debacle unfolded, because few people who have such toxic beliefs and are that rabid about their beliefs have clean hands.

Who wants to start the betting pool on what Derick's hiding?

I was reading the other day on No Longer Quivering ( don't know how true it is, but interesting nontheless) that there was some sort of scandal in El Salvadore, regarding Derrick and sexuality. I'm wondering if there's any validity to that.

[nastyhobbitses]

2 hours ago, EmmyJay said:

I was reading the other day on No Longer Quivering ( don't know how true it is, but interesting nontheless) that there was some sort of scandal in El Salvadore, regarding Derrick and sexuality. I'm wondering if there's any validity to that.

I don't want him to have cheated on or hurt Jill. Not after all the shit she's been through.

I also realize that I just opened up a real can of worms about speculation. That ain't right of me.

At any rate, Derick's pretty clearly got more issues than Vogue, and considering what a hateful tool he has shown himself to be, I feel little sympathy for him and whatever his issues might be.

[DnAismyBaE]

5 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

@DnAismyBaE, I don't know if Izzy is being 'trained', but I think Spurgeon is definitely allowed to be more of a kid. I get the sense that Binessa really enjoy being parents to him, hence don't try to curb what is normal if exuberant behaviour.

J&D, meanwhile... struggle. Whether it's outside stresses impacting, or parenting a littlun being something they don't love (in which case good luck spawning eleventy of 'em), they just don't seem to get so much joy from his kid-ness.

It's hard to tell by just TV editing and what they curate on social media (the Seewalds are a million times better at this than the Dillards in every way), but it seems like B&J are so willing to get on Spurge's level. Literally - Ben getting on the floor to play - and figuratively - Jessa narrating his activity, showing him how to use the radio, chatting about his thoughts. J&D call their kid manipulative when he's kind and sweet. 

I've NO idea whether Israel is being blanket trained or whatnot, but parenting him just as he is doesn't seem to come as easily or as joyfully to J&D as it does to J&B. Idk if the kids are front and centre in the Seewalds' lives because they don't have much else going on, or if they would always be so enthusiastic about parenting, but I think that Spurgeon and Henry fit into their life really well, whereas Israel and Samuel are sort of a hindrance to what their parents REALLY want to be doing, ie missionary in SCA, footloose and fancy free.

(or it could just be a personality thing.)

I totally agree with your thoughts. And I didn't necessarily mean blanket train or follow the horrific method of the Pearls. Just generally train him to be more docile, aka un-kid like. All purely speculation though obviously 

[Kittikatz]

@brusselsgriffon I just read the tweets on my way through and found them interesting. I didn't screen shot anything - don't know how to on my phone - was just hoping that a reporter would notice, contact some of those people and start asking questions.

[Drala]

13 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I had a hunch that the Duggars were hiding some messed-up shit before the Josh debacle unfolded, because few people who have such toxic beliefs and are that rabid about their beliefs have clean hands.

Who wants to start the betting pool on what Derick's hiding?

Derick's behavior/fixation on trans kids screams he's unsettled about something.  I wouldn't be surprised if he experienced some gender dysphoria himself.  Or, some other unresolved issue of childhood sexual development.

[AtlanticTug]

8 hours ago, DnAismyBaE said:

 But Israel seems so much less playful and in a way (even for a toddler) seems to be less talkative, like he is trying to "keep sweet". Spurge has no problem wrestling with his daddy, farting on him and acting generally nutty sometimes as toddlers often do. It makes me feel really sad for Izzy if he is being "trained" to be obedient 

A lot of that can simply be toddler personality. I have a 2-year-old boy who is nothing like Spurgeon. He is very quiet, introverted and thoughtful, but has an incredible vocabulary in 2 languages, knows the entire alphabet, knows which words begin with which letters, knows his colours, can count, etc. But he is not boisterous, he takes a long time to get comfortable with strangers and he just doesn't act "nutty" except at home with us. With other people, he'd rather sit by his parents and observe. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Buzzard]

I dont think that Izzy is blanket trained, per se.  His environment is very different than Spurge, though.  Jill is afraid of towel rods and is likely on edge all the time.  A little kid can pick up on that.  She likely doesnt let him wander far, or really ever.  Spurge, on the other hand, is in an environment where safety isnt a concern.  His parents are relaxed and playful.  That difference can really impact how a child behaves.

[Lurky]

39 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

I dont think that Izzy is blanket trained, per se.  His environment is very different than Spurge, though.  Jill is afraid of towel rods and is likely on edge all the time.  A little kid can pick up on that.  She likely doesnt let him wander far, or really ever.  Spurge, on the other hand, is in an environment where safety isnt a concern.  His parents are relaxed and playful.  That difference can really impact how a child behaves.

Plus the Seewalds are very sociable, so all Spurgeon's life he's been around a ton of people - not just at the TTH, but Jessa's mom-friends and her "tribe", and Ben's friends and "friends" like Flame.

[nickelodeon]

2 hours ago, Drala said:

Derick's behavior/fixation on trans kids screams he's unsettled about something.  I wouldn't be surprised if he experienced some gender dysphoria himself.  Or, some other unresolved issue of childhood sexual development.

Some people are just fugly transphobes. I'm not a fan of the "transphobic/homophobic people must be secretly trans/closeted" line of thinking.

I think the reason Derick has zeroed-in on trans kids is the same as the reason he spent all his time in El Salvador playing basketball with kids and promising kids food if they come to his church, instead of "ministering" to other adults. He needs to feel superior and talk down to people and he can't do that with grown adults. It's nothing scandalous, he just likes to target vulnerable people.