Joy and Austin: Engaged!

[Jilli]

Meagan married Bobby Ballinger.

[Gillyweed]

30 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I think she meant she didn't notice him as an attractive young man until then, not that she had no memory of him.

But wouldn't she have been like 12?

[marmalade]

2 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

But wouldn't she have been like 12?

No, more like 5. Austin would have blended in with the Howlers. Joy says she didn't really notice him until about 5 years ago when he got his license and started hanging out at the Compound. 

It's sheeer speculation about when Austin first talked to his dad about Joy and got the "flip five houses" edict. It could have been a couple of years ago for all we know. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

I think Joy will choose Austin's sister as her MOH, Carlin Bates and Joy's sisters will be bridesmaids. Austin doesn't have brothers so he will probably choose JD as Best Man, seems like a fair trade.

I don't think so. His sister will probably be a bridesmaid but not MOH. That will go to Jill or Carlin. And then Jessa, Jinger, Jana, and Johanna will probably be bridesmaids as well. And maybe Sierra. 

Austin's sister is due in the next month or two with her first. I bet her husband will be one of Austin's groomsmen. His name is Bobby Ballinger Jr.

[merg429]

51 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

She is married and pregnant, what else would she be doing? Unless she's had the baby already. 

Of course! Right after I wrote this, I went to do some more digging! I'll continue down this rabbit hole now. 

[HideousGreenShirt]

If they do have the wedding at the camp then I hope they go for an old west theme complete with  sepia tinted photos, old timey MODEST outfits and reward posters for the invites.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I just looked and Austin's sister is due March 26th. Since it's her first she may end up having it in the beginning of April though. 

Since Austin has known the whole family for a long time, I bet Joseph at least will be a groomsman. And maybe another brother or two. Josiah maybe.

[Markie]

I'm saddened but not surprised about Joy and Austin's engagement. I figure his parents could use an unpaid employee for the busy summer months at the Camp, so a spring wedding for the happy young couple and a short honeymoon, courtesy of TLC, then Joy and Austin will move in and work on the Camp while flipping homes in the spare time.

[loveformusic]

When I saw there was some sort of announcement ("exciting news!") on my Timeline from the Duggars Official FB...I honestly was NOT thinking it would be Joy & Austin's engagement. Not a surprise, of course, but I just hope this is what Joy really/truly wants & I wish her and Austin nothing but happiness. Wedding countdown starts now...!

[Helena Handbaket]

With all the fundie weddings, there should be at some point that a bride's dress should be a bride's "something borrowed".  The wedding and reception are over in 4 hours... what a waste of money! If Michelle hadn't hacked Grandma's dress to get a piece of netting to tie with twine, for " keepsakes", someone could have worn it. I think it is pretty.

[grandmadugger]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I just looked and Austin's sister is due March 26th. Since it's her first she may end up having it in the beginning of April though. 

Since Austin has known the whole family for a long time, I bet Joseph at least will be a groomsman. And maybe another brother or two. Josiah maybe.

 

My bet is JD for best man.  JD said he had inside info about the courtship proposal because they were good friends.

[Vex]

I'm not surprised at all. I think 19 is way too young but at least she presumably knows Austin much better than the other Duggars knew their spouses. I kind of feel bad seeing so many 'poor Jana' comments. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, even though I know there are mostly good intentions behind it.

I can't help but compare my relationship to Joy's because of the timeline (I got engaged early December and will be getting married in a couple of weeks, it's happening quickly because of immigration issues and getting married in a way that doesn't require tons of planning - I have no bride gene) and I honestly expected her to get married before I did, so I guess I'm pleased it's not as rushed as I thought it would be.

It's hard not to worry about Austin as a person because of how joyless (no pun intended) and authoritative his family seems. Joy has always seemed emotional and free-spirited, and she's a tomboy despite of the Duggar's best efforts to make her a proper lady (or at least it seems that way, maybe she wanted to change?). I'm curious as to how Austin's family views that. Hopefully he gets Joy and doesn't try to force her into any role she's not comfortable with.

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

I think Austin likes the tom boy aspect in Joy.  She was the only girl who actually attempted to camp and fish during the survival episode. They mentioned they do a lot of outdoor stuff and the proposal happened when they were horseback riding. I honestly don't think Austin will try to mold her into the ideal rigid feminine fundie wife because the fact that she enjoys getting her hands dirty and hanging with the boys probably attracted him to her in the first place. 

 

To be honest, Joy's situation isn't too bad. I mean, for us Fjers it would be horrible to be stuck in a strict fundie household like the Forsyths. Joy-anna probably finds her future in-laws ideal based on the way she grew up. She will be comfortable. Also, Austin and Joy have about the same amount of life experiences, unlike Jeremy....who got to live out his early-mid twenties while choosing a perfect meek Duggar girl for a wife. Sorry, but that situation to me is more worrisome than "Jaustin". They should wait a little bit longer....but "fast track" because the Duggars do not have an ounce of self-control. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, Eatingintheprayercloset said:

They should wait a little bit longer....but "fast track" because the Duggars do not have an ounce of self-control

Well I don't think most fundies have the self control. That's partly why fundies get married so young. The drive to have sex is strong and the sooner they get married the sooner they can give into that natural urge. They aren't even allowed to masturbate! That would make any teen or young adult want to run to the church. If I had to wait to have sex until marriage, I would've married my first boyfriend while still in college. Of course now I'm glad I didn't since he and I weren't a good fit. Most people don't marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend. Thank goodness.

[MarblesMom]

6 hours ago, eleanora3 said:

That's very interesting. I don't think Jessa and Ben have chemistry at all. Their joint talking heads are always awkward to watch 

Their TH reminds me a lot of Kate + 8 when K would completely take her husband DOWN.  Jessa is about a half level away from completely eviscerating him on air.   JMHO.

[Carm_88]

6 hours ago, shiverful said:

All this is pure speculation, of course, but I see it the same way. Jessa often seems less clingy than Jill, but thats just her personality. She's not the most affectionate person, but I think that she is fairly happy with Ben. 

Yeah, I feel for Jessa because I see a lot of myself in her. I'm more of a reserved person, so if a significant other tried to get all clingy an cuddly in public, it wouldn't work well. Jessa just tends to be more private, I think. Not that she doesn't want attention but she doesn't see the need to post a picture of what they are doing for Valentine's Day like Jill would.

As for talking down to Ben, I do that. For me, I don't know I'm doing it until I'm corrected. So maybe she doesn't even notice it.

[Suz8710]

IIRC Joy & Amy used to have a close relationship, at least it seemed closer than with any of the older girls. I wonder if she'll be in the wedding party. Probably less likely now -  Marriage Bootcamp and all. 

It'll also be very telling if Joy's "best friend" Sierra doesn't make the cut, unless she goes with the Jill route of sisters only.

[PumaLover]

I just watched the World's Strictest Parents episode! I had never heard of that show until this discussion.
Does anyone know what his sister Meagan is up to now? She was 18 at the time so would probably be 25 or so now?
I agree with some of the other posters, Austin seems to be very stiff on camera, but they seem to have a lot in common and it could blossom in to something.  

Do you know where I can watch it? I remember seeing it back when it was new, 2009-ish. I loved that show but I don't think they have new episodes anymore.

Well I don't think most fundies have the self control. That's partly why fundies get married so young. The drive to have sex is strong and the sooner they get married the sooner they can give into that natural urge. They aren't even allowed to masturbate! That would make any teen or young adult want to run to the church. If I had to wait to have sex until marriage, I would've married my first boyfriend while still in college. Of course now I'm glad I didn't since he and I weren't a good fit. Most people don't marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend. Thank goodness.

True story. My fundie lite ex and I were each other's first love interest. We really wanted to move out and live together so we got married super young. Then we found out we were completely incompatible and not alike in any way. It was a disaster and I finally saved up enough money to get the hell out.

I hope none of the Duggar girls wake up in their mid/late 20s and find themselves in the same situation.

[GoatZombie]

I really wonder if divorce even crosses their minds an option. I mean look at Anna...  didn't she even have a brother try to help her leave, but she refused. She's stuck financially and mentally.
Even if they did wake up one day and realize they're incompatible I don't think they'd ever think about leaving. They would just try to fix it and they seem like they're taught to blame themselves for all the problems in marriage (the girls anyway). We might view some of their pairings as incompatible or weird but I think for them "ignorance is bliss" really is true.  

I think the spouse would have to go off the deep end like murder or totally go atheist on them for them to get the hell out. Apparently molesting your sisters is not a big deal. Even then, I think any separation would probably have to be suggested by JB. 

These people are really stuck in the family financially. The girls are not capable of supporting themselves with their limited education and life experience, this becomes even more true when they have eleventyseven kids. Even the boys are mostly stuck, as they mostly use duggar businesses for their income and most of them will probably continue to do so after marriage. Even some of the SILs like Ben need JB for the money.  The vicious cycle makes the cult stay together. 

On a positive note, I think Joy and Austen are one of the better pairings, personality and compatibility wise. 

[RosyDaisy]

They probably won't admit it, but I'm sue divorce has crossed their minds. Probably just a nanosecond before the koolaid and brainwashing kick in.

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

But wouldn't she have been like 12?

Five years ago puts Joy at 14 - more than old enough to notice someone romantically.

[eveandadam]

2 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

They probably won't admit it, but I'm sue divorce has crossed their minds. Probably just a nanosecond before the koolaid and brainwashing kick in.

I'd think divorce has crossed the mind of the women, not of the men. Because, in the cult, men feel entitled to meek women and would only want to divorce them if they are not faithful or meek enough. But right now it looks like all the married Duggar daughters and Anna are meek as can be, even Jessa. I'm sure Jessa is only allowed to show her true personality in a very narrow range, enforced by JB , MIchelle and Ben. As he grows up and becomes a real man, Ben will only become more dominant and JEssa won't have much time left to think for herself with more and more little ones at home.

Man, sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to have such freedoms and rights as a women. Feeling entitled to a meek husband who sees it as his purpose to stay at home when the kids are little and if not, juggle his career at the same time. Being forgiven for cheating and/or behaving like a douchebag/manchild in general. Not only being forgiven but also being rewarded by a 6 months holiday from your daily chores and work and family(!!!) only for your wife to come by from time to time just for sweet fellowship. Being able to freely show off your horniness in public and grind up against your husband/wife (wtf JB?!). Being louder, more outspoken, taking up more space than men in public (woman-spreading, instead of man-spreading, anyone?)

[singsingsing]

Woman-spreading already exists. It's when women put all their bags and shit down on the seat next to them and refuse to move them even when there are other people standing who need seats.

Oh the joys of public transit.

As for fundie men and why they might want a divorce... I think there are all kinds of reasons they might want a divorce besides their wives not being meek enough. The problem is that divorce in their culture is a huge taboo, so if they want to maintain their position of respect and influence they have to stay married no matter how they might feel about their wives. 

[SassyPants]

11 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

Their TH reminds me a lot of Kate + 8 when K would completely take her husband DOWN.  Jessa is about a half level away from completely eviscerating him on air.   JMHO.

I think Jessa realizes that she could have personally done better. Jessa, IMO, sees herself as the Alpha sister, especially over Jinger, and then Jinger gets herself an actual man, and Jessa is stuck with a boy child??? I am sure this p*sses Jessa off.

I always saw the choice of Ben for Jessa as JB getting Jessa back for all the grief she caused while growing up...Yes, JB is that immature and vindictive. And by choosing I mean giving his blessing and OK to the match-

[fluffernutter]

Wow I got busy for a few days and come back to Joy being engaged. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Get to hold hands now... yippee. Another wedding to plan- yee howdy. Another pregnancy announcement down the pike- woopadeedoo. I hope she's happy at least. So Jana's the only adult girl left? She's going to be waaaaay too busy raising and skooling her siblings to flee now.