JinJer 2: Courting, she did ride

[livinginthelight]

I'm not making any assumptions about JV's sexuality. But I really, really strongly hope he's not closeted gay.

A very dear friend recently got divorced, after 20 years of marriage, because her husband is gay. The whole situation is so sad. I love her and I love him too. My friend and her ex aren't fundy but he was raised that way, and his parents put all kinds of pressure on him to get "right with the Lord" and stop his sinful attraction to men. So he tried. He really REALLY tried. He tried so hard. He loved God and wanted to feel loved by God, and he found a woman (my friend) that he convinced himself he was attracted to, and he convinced both himself and her that he'd really changed, and they got married. And it was hard.

He became so anxious because the old impulses just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried. His blood pressure went up. She tried so hard too. She tried really hard - for years -  but knew he was tempted by men. There was an emotional wall in their relationship that just couldn't be overcome. Also there was an "ick" factor that set in for her. Both the wall and the "ick" factor messed up their sex life. When he started looking at gay porn, it grossed her out more and it was a long slow spiral downward. They both are good people who gave it their all. But it was literally killing them, physically, with high blood pressure and anxiety. They had to divorce and he came clean about who he is. He's healthier now because he is living authentically (though still lying to his parents). He is getting a lot of kudos - and support - for coming out of the closet.  She's angry and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, though us friends certainly are trying to support her. It's almost like she's in a closet because she doesn't want people to think of her as having "poor judgment."

I get SO ANGRY at society's condemnations of GLBT people. First of all, it's just so WRONG to suggest that God doesn't want them to have the loving relationships that they were made for. And the fallout is huge, including collateral damage of straight spouses and children.
 

 

[season of life]

This thread moves fast! It's really a lucky thing that Jinger doesn't have a brother named Jeremy.

I am concerned about the power dynamic in that relationship. I know this place is named after her, but sometimes Jinger comes off as too sad. I think she's lost a little of her old spark. She couldn't hang out with Jessa as much, so she tried to bond with Jana, as said in Counting On. She was in Ben's video claiming to be a horrible sinner who needed Jesus. She's been tested by not one, but two family scandals. Jinger probably has little interest in secular things and only trusts people like her. I cannot stand Jeremy so far and I think this will be a standard marriage deal.

If anyone escapes, it'll be one of the younger kids or teens.

[MarblesMom]

10 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

And the fallout is huge, including collateral damage of straight spouses and children.

Very, very close friend lost his marriage when his wife finally decided she was gay.  Their sons were 10 and 13.  The breakup was catastrophic.

I really wish she could have found her place before subjecting innocent kids to a family implosion. 

They all still suffer, including the mom, who is now out of one of her son's (and grandkid's) lives.

[EmCatlyn]

3 hours ago, Jenesis said:

If they do marry, do you think Jinger will move to Laredo?  It's much more dangerous than Springdale.  

According to what some friends in Dallas say, Laredo and most of that border area can be as dangerous as Central America.  Just think, she and Jill could compare notes.

[mizandry]

FREE JINGER!!! 
 

(... someone had to  )

 

[infooverload]

I am wondering why he was sent to public school his junior and senior year. Then there's the whole living with a pastor and their family for a year. As far as being a church plant I have to wonder what the financial set up is with the main sending church. An aside I found interesting is Tim Conway the pastor of the sending church has a book called Let's be Honest. We know the Duggars have a history of being less than truthful.

[Shadoewolf]

The community we lived in AR was 12,788 when we left. They had a Walmart, TJMaxx, Stage, Gamestop,  right before we left they got a Starbucks and just opened their first Baskin Robbins. My hubby was the GM for their brand spanking new Buffalo Wild Wings. But to get to the Duggars favorite mall and kids resale shop was a 3 hour drive. They aren't nearly as secluded as we were. We now live in a small suburb that border on a major Midwest city. Total for all 5 of our tiny little pieces? 50K people. Walmart and Meijer are still 8 miles away but I literally live across the street from a Taco Bell. My kids attend one of the top 10 public schools in the state. Laredo sounds like it could be good for Jinger. Big enough but not overwhelming like NYC.

The more I see of Jeremy the more put off I am. Major creep factor there and that was before I read all the craziness about him.

Thankful for something to read, was Hubby and my anniversary and he had to work all day. Also kept me away from constantly checking my Facebook , my BFFs wife finally conned her Dr into inducing yesterday.

[Free2BeMe]

3 hours ago, FormerlyFundyLite said:

Southern Illinois is a lovely area. I visited a friend there for a week and was somewhat baffled about what they planned for us to do all week (no disrespect, I'm just from a very small city and I know what we have to offer visitors). The forests (I went to Giant City, but there's other state/national parks nearby) are gorgeous. I'd like to go back someday.

That's where my folks are from!!

[Imagine20]

I think JB is just happy someone with somewhat of a profile agreed to join in on the crazy. This is all about keeping the show on the air. Jessa and Jill are boring and everyone loves a courtship and wedding especially with crazy mismatched Jinger and Jeremy. Loveable hijinks will ensue and the spotlight will finally be off Josh and the stupid shit Bin and Derick tweet. 

[EmCatlyn]

Someone earlier in this thread noted (in relation to Jeremy's ordination) that in Texas you can be an ordained minister without a degree in religion or having attended seminary.  I wanted to add that this is true in every state. Ordination is left up to the different churches/religions. What the states do regulate is whose ordination they accept for the purposes of performing legal marriages.

Ordination can be very difficult in some denominations and ridiculously easy in others. And among independent Baptists, ordination in some cases may apply only to the specific congegation that "called" the pastor.  So it is possible that if you lose your pulpit, you may be un-ordained (dis-ordained?).  

For this reason, many states (or counties--the rules may vary from county to county in one state) require periodic proof of ministers that they are still ordained. This involves a letter of "good standing" from the church.

Anyway, gettong back to Jeremy,  I haven't had a chance to look carefully at his situation (too busy kerping up with this thread) but I think he was ordained by the "parent" church to minister to the new church in Laredo.  So his ordination is linked to this church in Laredo.  It may make it more difficult for him to relocate if he wants to consider himself ordained.  Of course, he could be "called" to a new congregation in Arkansas . . .  Let's hope not. 

[Kaylo]

1 hour ago, infooverload said:

I am wondering why he was sent to public school his junior and senior year. Then there's the whole living with a pastor and their family for a year. As far as being a church plant I have to wonder what the financial set up is with the main sending church. An aside I found interesting is Tim Conway the pastor of the sending church has a book called Let's be Honest. We know the Duggars have a history of being less than truthful.

 

Soccer. The homeschool team isn't going to get him an MLS contract. 

[sophie10130]

4 minutes ago, Kaylo said:

Soccer. The homeschool team isn't going to get him an MLS contract. 

It could also be that if he was going to college they wanted him to finish his junior and senior years so he could take PSATs, SAT, ACT, etc. The school might offer free prep classes. Or maybe the mom was overwhelmed with the advanced material for those grades. Or she wanted him to have lab experience she couldn't offer in terms of bio, chem, physics. Or maybe college prep courses.

All possibilities and maybe all a piece of why he went. Very interesting and it must have been a pretty staggering experience to go from homeschool to just finishing your last two years in high school.

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, EmCatlyn said:

According to what some friends in Dallas say, Laredo and most of that border area can be as dangerous as Central America.  Just think, she and Jill could compare notes.

I was just thinking about this. It's a perfect Counting On storyline (not like they'd take advantage of it, since apparently the Duggars and the producers think that dipping stuff in chocolate and going to Starbucks is riveting must-see television): two Duggar daughters moving to distant lands with scary non-white people who don't understand you unless you yell everything you say and add an O to the end of some words.

[infooverload]

I wonder what high school he went to and I bet the yearbook entries would be interesting to look at. This makes the second person marrying into the family who isn't coming from a big family.

[season of life]

Will they get a covenant marriage? 

[Kaylo]

1 hour ago, infooverload said:

I wonder what high school he went to and I bet the yearbook entries would be interesting to look at. This makes the second person marrying into the family who isn't coming from a big family.

Downington West HS, class of 2006. Find that yearbook lol!!!

[CoveredInBees]

2 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

It could also be that if he was going to college they wanted him to finish his junior and senior years so he could take PSATs, SAT, ACT, etc. The school might offer free prep classes. Or maybe the mom was overwhelmed with the advanced material for those grades. Or she wanted him to have lab experience she couldn't offer in terms of bio, chem, physics. Or maybe college prep courses.

All possibilities and maybe all a piece of why he went. Very interesting and it must have been a pretty staggering experience to go from homeschool to just finishing your last two years in high school.

Here in the UK, in order to take your GCSEs you have to attend school (because of coursework/modules etc - this may change now the government have wrecked the education system, but I digress  ).

One of my friends started school at 14 after being homeschooled, it was a huge shock to her, HUGE. She was incredibly clever/knowledgeable (her parents had done a fantastic job academically) but she had zero social skills. She was lovely, but really really struggled even having simple conversations with other students. She was bullied mercilously in that first year.

As an adult, she (after leaving home at the first opportunity - she was ostracised by her parents for a time) sent her children to school. I know she very much regretted losing out on that experience as a child.

 

P.S. I've got 'Joshua 7 - Sin In The Camp' running in the background. It's dull. It's the kind of drivel that makes church on a Sunday seem like a punishment for our terrible sinning behaviour Mon-Sat.  

[Nashville92]

6 hours ago, SportsgalAnnie said:

I'll help what should we tackle first?

Colors?

Food?

A soccer ball themed cake isn't that hard 

I make a prety darn good strawberry cake.  I can amd Would give Sierra a run for her money lol 

[brogue]

6 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

I read some guy like virgins because they can train them to their liking. Gross. 

Jeremy is another Derrick. Look where Derrick is now after drinking the duggaraid. 

Yeah I've heard of such guys before, skeeves me out big time! It's one thing to want someone who has the same stance religion wise. It's a whole other thing for the "training" reasons, which is gross. I've heard one guy phrase it as "no matter how bad it is, you'll be the best she's ever had!" Shudder. 

[Ungodly Grandma]

8 hours ago, busdrivingmom said:

Northern Illinois here.  I usually say I'm from Northern Illinois when I meet people.  They ask if I am from Chicago and I say, no I live so many miles from the city.  Then they ask the area.  I'll tell them, and a few surrounding towns and either they have a idea where I am talking about or get a blank glaze across their face.  I REFUSE to say I am from Chicago.  

New York is a vast state, and rural in many areas, but much of the country think it's all NYC. 

[ITD]

28 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

New York is a vast state, and rural in many areas, but much of the country think it's all NYC. 

Truth.  I grew up outside of Buffalo. Everyone else always thinks NYC is all there is to New York. Now I live in the belly of the beast, sigh. 

[Apricot]

2 hours ago, CoveredInBees said:

Here in the UK, in order to take your GCSEs you have to attend school (because of coursework/modules etc - this may change now the government have wrecked the education system, but I digress  ).

SNIP

Not strictly true.  You can take GCSEs as an external candidate but you must have someone approved to mark coursework and exams have to be taken in regulated exam centres (in my school we had a girl who sat GCSEs with us who was homeschooled - she just came in to do exams)

I was really hopeful yesterday when I first read that Jinger was courting.  Now not so much.  I had high hopes for Jill and Jessa and they don't seem to have done anything to "rebel".  I'd love to think Jeremy was just playing along with the circus and this is Jinger's chance but I don't think so.

[Iokaste]

After Ben and Derick, I'm just happy she found someone who at least looks awake. 
It's not much, but the bar is really not high by now.

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

Finally I reach the end of both topics. Not sure what to say on this courtship right now, my thoughts and feelings on it have changed so much while reading through. The threads are moving too fast and my reading is too slow. And now I am confused and not sure what to think. 

Right now, I am confused by the timeline of events presented. There seem to be different dates, like December or Last May, or perhaps I'm picking it up wrong rushing through the posts trying to keep up. Could this Jeremy guy already be on the scene while all the Josh scandals broke? Perhaps not courting but even just a getting to know you phase. Or is it much more recent development than that?

[hollywood]

I'm surprised that she is marrying someone so much older than her.