JinJer 2: Courting, she did ride

[is.it.real]

6 hours ago, Bushes of Love said:

The city talk is making me laugh. In the UK a 200,000 population would be huge. I live bang in the middle of 3 large UK cities (Manchester-510,000, Leeds-764,000 and Sheffield-563,000) they are counted as massive cities. The city I grew up in (Durham) has a population around 50,000 and it's still considered big.

I live in Sweden. 10 millon people. The only populated area with more than one million people is Stockholm, the capital city. Most of the cities are between 100 000 and 200 000 citizens, and have opera houses, theaters, universities and so on. 

But, size is relative. And defined differently in each country. Om Sweden we don't have "city" as an administrative concept (but people still use the word). Instead areas are defined as less populated - less than 200 inhabitants within a 100 meter radius - and densly populated areas - more than 200 inhabitants within the same distance.

For comparison - in China a populated area is defined as a city when it has 10 million inhabitants.

(I am a nerdy urban planner)

[nst]

they are pimping him out big time

[OrchidBlossom]

1 minute ago, sophie10130 said:

Not piling on! Happy to hear other views.

I guess what I was trying to get at rather poorly is that we kind of consider these marriages to be poor imitations of what successful and fulfilling relationships can be in the secular world. These women may not even find a truly loving and romantic relationship that meets her needs with a completely straight man.

But like I said, I don't want to presume how a relationship like that may affect others in a different way than two straight people forced into a loveless marriage. There are other complications at play that I admit that I know nothing about and just went ahead and glossed over.

I think that certainly their chances of true, fulfilling partnerships are probably lower than outside of fundieland because of the haste of the marriage and the inability to really control your own destiny but rather have it be subject to others, for sure. Of course, for many of us there is still a chance we will never find romantic happiness and some fundies do seem well matched and seem to genuinely love each other (Derick and Jill, Chad and Erin) so it is possible. I would like for Jinger to be with someone for whom that connection is at least possible, if not probable. That is why I think that the idea of Jinger ending up with a closeted gay man makes me sad. I too did not think about the other implications like children and how it might act out on other parts of the relationship, but I think that was an excellent point someone made as well!

[Bad Wolf]

My BIL once said that all a lesbian needs is the right man to set her straight.  Did I mention we don't get along too well?

[amendgitan]

3 hours ago, twinmama said:

Anna had basically the only out they are allowed, a cheating husband, and she gave it up. I don't think all marriages faced with infidelity have to end, but given what Josh did and what his history is that one should have ended if Anna wants any kind of happiness in her future life.

But wouldn't she be considered a "used piece of tissue paper" or whatever horrible metaphor fundies use to describe normal women, by any eligible man in their culture? I mean who in her culture would want a divorced woman with four kids? 

They aren't the FLDS. I think she feels she has no choice at anything but a lonely life if she doesn't stay married. 

Poor gal. There's a vulnerability about her that touches me. 

[Cleopatra7]

6 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

In my experience in evangelical world, not only that, but those things become testimony fodder and the more dramatic for that purpose the better. Often, normal teenage experiences are exaggerated, then exaggerated some more, and then exaggerated a little bit more after that to make a good testimony. I remember kids at Christian school lamenting that they never did anything bad so their testimony was not dramatic enough. 

*For those not in that world, a "testimony" is a story of how and why you got saved. Dramatic ones full of horrifying sin prior to being saved are considered better because they will inspire more people to get saved themselves. 

I have to wonder how bad anything this guy did really was. Getting in trouble with alcohol in evangelical world often means "I had one drink once". 

The whole sports story of declining skills being a message from God is pretty typical, too. Not only are a decline in skills a message from God, injury is always a message that you have put success in the sport before God and must get saved, or saved again, or saved for real because the first time didn't really take or something like that. I heard that particular chapel testimony from kids at Christian school with sports injuries probably 20 times in just six years. 

I'm also skeptical that Jeremy really went wild in any meaningful sense of the word when he was in public high school or college. These "testimonies" are always exaggerated to make one seem like the worst person in the world, when in reality, they were probably not doing anything wrong or even particularly interesting. I remember JB mentioning that he used to listen to heavy metal music, which I've always found implausible, given how he was already doing door to door "soulwinning" as a teen. Maybe accidentally overhearing a Judas Priest song from someone else's car counts as being a regular heavy metal listener in his world.

[GoneDownTheRabbitHole]

Kelly Bates to Me-chelle: "I see your courtship and raise you one new grand-blessing. Bless y'all's hearts, Duggars, it's your move now."

[sophie10130]

1 minute ago, Cleopatra7 said:

I'm also skeptical that Jeremy really went wild in any meaningful sense of the word when he was in public high school or college. These "testimonies" are always exaggerated to make one seem like the worst person in the world, when in reality, they were probably not doing anything wrong or even particularly interesting. I remember JB mentioning that he used to listen to heavy metal music, which I've always found implausible, given how he was already doing door to door "soulwinning" as a teen. Maybe accidentally overhearing a Judas Priest song from someone else's car counts as being a regular heavy metal listener in his world.

Hey, I knew some kids from a fundie-light church I went to when I was younger who would leave restaurants if they could hear non-religious music coming from the speakers 

[Cleopatra7]

12 minutes ago, sophie10130 said:

Hey, I knew some kids from a fundie-light church I went to when I was younger who would leave restaurants if they could hear non-religious music coming from the speakers 

Are there restaurants that just play hymns or gospel music? Although knowing the Duggars, gospel music and contemporary Christian might as well be death metal.

[theinvisiblegirl]

This was the first comment I saw on the most "in case you missed it" post. It's not just some FJers who think he might be gay. (I don't know the guy and don't have any judgments on what his sexual preference is. My only hope is that he's not a "saved" "former" gay man because that's not a real thing and not fair to Jinger.)

 

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, Screamapillar said:

I hope they don't do an "All About Jinger" episode before her wedding, because those episodes have been getting progressively sadder. Everyone seemed to have a lot to say about Jill. Jessa.....is good at organizing. Would Jinger's just be everyone saying that she likes taking pictures followed by 55 minutes of blank stares? Well, I'm sure they'd fill most of that space with flashbacks to Jim Bob and Michelle's wedding, as usual. Since they have less to say about each child as they go further down the line, they can always talk about their favorite people, themselves.

She likes coffee, fake bake tanning and is afraid of heights.

[nastyhobbitses]

3 minutes ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

This was the first comment I saw on the most "in case you missed it" post. It's not just some FJers who think he might be gay. (I don't know the guy and don't have any judgments on what his sexual preference is. My only hope is that he's not a "saved" "former" gay man because that's not a real thing and not fair to Jinger.)

 

If that's "dressing like a homosexual", it's a wonder any babies are born at all in Portland or parts of Brooklyn.

[season of life]

Just now, nastyhobbitses said:

If that's "dressing like a homosexual", it's a wonder any babies are born at all in Portland or parts of Brooklyn.

It's honestly amazing. Go on that page and mention how JB and Michelle covered up sexual abuse, you're called a liberal hater. Say something demeaning to the gay community, all you get is "That's a bit mean."

[BunnyBee]

what the fuck even is a "liberal agenda" FFS? 

[nastyhobbitses]

1 minute ago, season of life said:

It's honestly amazing. Go on that page and mention how JB and Michelle covered up sexual abuse, you're called a liberal hater. Say something demeaning to the gay community, all you get is "That's a bit mean."

I mean, hell, take it to its logical extension: cheat on your wife and you're (rightly) called a scumbag (but once you say sorry to Jesus everything is OK and it was probably your wife's fault for not putting out enough), but repeatedly sexually assault your sisters, and you're just a curious widdle boy and they were probably being sluts anyway.

[sophie10130]

14 minutes ago, Cleopatra7 said:

Are there restaurants that just play hymns or gospel music? Although knowing the Duggars, gospel music and contemporary Christian might as well be death metal.

nope! but they only left if they could hear the words. it was only secular music. contemporary christian or christian rap was fine. but no restaurants played that either

[FleeJanaFree]

Do we know for sure that he's not a virgin, or is that speculation? Did he talk about it on his website or a sermon?

 

you gotta admit, Jim Bob would be right to say yes to this guy in his fucked up head. An interesting storyline AND they get to prove they don't judge past sins once you come to Jesus? Hallelujah. 

 

Also, there's the sick thought that now that it's out that Jinger's 'damaged goods' via Josh, they may as well stick her with a nonvirgin sinner.

[OrchidBlossom]

24 minutes ago, theinvisiblegirl said:

This was the first comment I saw on the most "in case you missed it" post. It's not just some FJers who think he might be gay. (I don't know the guy and don't have any judgments on what his sexual preference is. My only hope is that he's not a "saved" "former" gay man because that's not a real thing and not fair to Jinger.)

 

I'm not sure this is "thinking he might be gay" so much as "wildly homophobic and incredibly fearful of anything even the tiniest bit different". This isn't even a genuine speculation or "insider information" its just... homophobic fear mongering. I mean if Jinger marries a secret liberal I would be thrilled, but pretty sure that isn't what is happening.

 

17 minutes ago, BunnyBee said:

what the fuck even is a "liberal agenda" FFS? 

Are you signed up for the newsletter? We have monthly meetings to review and discuss the agenda. Just make sure you "dress like a homosexual" because we do strictly enforce the dress code.

[amendgitan]

1 hour ago, Guilty pleasure said:

I live in Sweden. 10 millon people. The only populated area with more than one million people is Stockholm, the capital city. Most of the cities are between 100 000 and 200 000 citizens, and have opera houses, theaters, universities and so on. 

But, size is relative. And defined differently in each country. Om Sweden we don't have "city" as an administrative concept (but people still use the word). Instead areas are defined as less populated - less than 200 inhabitants within a 100 meter radius - and densly populated areas - more than 200 inhabitants within the same distance.

For comparison - in China a populated area is defined as a city when it has 10 million inhabitants.

(I am a nerdy urban planner)

Ooh! I love urban planning! I wish I could've studied that! 

On another subject, I've been reading the conversation about big and small towns and in general, I can see how it it's kind of annoying that some equate big city life with culture and intelligence and anything else with small-minded boorishness. 

Ive always lived in densely populated urban areas. My family are "cultured" - a long line of writers, intellectuals, professional musicians/artists (mostly classical, jazz and in Spain they're all professional Flamenco dancers, singers, guitarists). 

I've been immersed in museums, concerts, plays, poetry readings, etc., all my life. 

But that's not necessary all the time to being a well-rounded, educated happy human, I think. And there is a different kind of need that I've noticed sensitive, intelligent, artists types have that smaller or more rural areas can meet- Peace. Beauty. Nature. Solitude. Deep relationships with various unrelated people in the community.  Community. Acceptance. Identity. Character. Roots. 

There are a lot of very meaningful, beautiful things that rural or smaller towns seem to offer. I think the implication that these areas have nothing to offer but small-minded bigotry, churches and Walmart is shortsighted. 

There is a reason so many writers and artists moved to, lived in, painted and wrote about these places. 

And why so many retreats, vacation spots and artist colonies are located in those areas. 

[Lillymuffin]

1 hour ago, Buzzard said:

I can see it now, JinJer will open up a coffee shop in Laredo, attached to the church.  It will support the fake orphan ministry that DerJill run in CA with coffee grown and harvested by orphans.  Watered with their tears...  DJ Binjermin will do the commercials horrifically:

 

Holy cow, there's a fundie-lite church (formerly a "worship center") near me that actually does have a coffee shop in its lobby and the proceeds go towards the church's various missions. Pretty sure they serve Green Mountain blend, though. 

[Dandruff]

Not trying to put a damper on the snark, but I'd be surprised if Jim Bob didn't do a thorough check on Jeremy.  The last thing Duggar Inc. needs is another (so-called) scandal.  I think any kind of previous gay relationship, or a believable enough suggestion of one, would rule him out.  OTOH, I think Jim Bob would be more or less OK if Jeremy was a repentant non-virgin, had done some partying, and/or listened to rock 'n roll.

[Marissap]

17 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

Do we know for sure that he's not a virgin, or is that speculation? Did he talk about it on his website or a sermon?

 

you gotta admit, Jim Bob would be right to say yes to this guy in his fucked up head. An interesting storyline AND they get to prove they don't judge past sins once you come to Jesus? Hallelujah. 

 

Also, there's the sick thought that now that it's out that Jinger's 'damaged goods' via Josh, they may as well stick her with a nonvirgin sinner.

In one of his videos he talked about sin of the flesh while he played soccer. So without saying that he's had premarital sex I think it can be assumed. 

[Ungodly Grandma]

3 hours ago, twinmama said:

I'm probably kind of snobby I admit. I think of it as having higher standards lol My dad grew up in Greenwich (though in a tiny house with a security man for a father, not the fancy rich people mansions Greenwich tends to be known for), so that's probably why I think of CT as a lot of snobs. Also because we lived in New Canaan for a few years (again, in a tiny apartment, not on an estate), also another fancy pants place.

My BIL insisted on building a house in Greenwich, although he couldn't afford it. They had a huge house, beautiful cars, nice patio furniture, and only the barest of minimum furnishings on the inside, b/c the neighbors wouldn't be able to see inside. I never understood why that address was so important to him.

[season of life]

The "liberal agenda" is the go-to insult for people who don't see the LGBT community as human and value guns/ammunition over people.

 

I think it's telling that JB approved this guy. Derick has a bachelor's degree, but Jeremy has been to two colleges, has admitted to past drinking, probably had girlfriends before Jinger, and traveled. I'm pretty sure anyone could court a Duggar daughter, so long as they spouted the same opinions. I think a non homeschooler could get in touch, as long as they were fundie enough.

[Ungodly Grandma]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Sorry I can't figure out snipping. Love " who made blood rush to her bathing suit parts"!!!!!!

I like it too. But with a Duggar, bathing suit parts could be just about anywhere!