Tori and Bobby Smith 7: Now Potentially with Scandal

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

Some reddit users are making allegations.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have a hard time believing that he was sleeping with moms at the church. Mostly I have a hard time believing it because of the world we live in today. It just seems like everyone knows everyone’s business because everyone has a camera in their pocket. So all out sexual affairs? I feel like there would be some proof or some rumors swirling that would have hit the internet by now. But getting too close to some women? Not making clear boundaries? I could see that going under the radar since it’s harder to prove. I’m not saying it’s impossible for people to have affairs. But these people are fundie celebrities. I feel like something would have come out by now. 

[marmalade]

Yeah  I am thinking that if anything happened, it was like emotional affairs. 

[candygirl200413]

okay so just to reiterate the comments came from 2 years ago and some people just noticed them this week not that they posted it just now.

[marmalade]

9 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

okay so just to reiterate the comments came from 2 years ago and some people just noticed them this week not that they posted it just now.

That makes more sense. I was wondering why someone would come after Bobby after all this time. 

[Jigsaw3]

Is it horrible that I'm giving a sigh of relief that the alleged misbehaviour involves adults, and presumably consenting adults at that? If true (and these are just rumours so far) there is much worse that has come out about many other youth pastors.

Not a great look for Bobby, but something that is at least not illegal, just unethical.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Jigsaw3

[HermioneSparrow]

1 hour ago, candygirl200413 said:

okay so just to reiterate the comments came from 2 years ago and some people just noticed them this week not that they posted it just now.

I was going to say that. It was two years ago and just a few people paid attention to it until now.

[marmalade]

11 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

I was going to say that. It was two years ago and just a few people paid attention to it until now.

I wonder if that's because people didn't know who Bobby was? He does fly under the Bates radar.

[rebeccawriter01]

I remember at the time they left and came back to Anderson County people were questioning it. Bobby had not real explanation for it at all. I thought it was suspicious because church people tend to be very huggy and saying ptl. Members of the church helped them move in but then suddenly his name was no longer on the church website and they were moving back. So it seemed rushed and like it wasn't really a voluntary reason that he left.

I don't see him as a hook up with every woman type, but I am guessing if the rumors are true that it was more in line with he was alone with women and there was something emotional about it. I don't see him being a "playa."

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I'm not in the mood for a deep dive, but the church was Henderson Bible Baptist Church and apparently they had multiple welcome posts and none acknowledging his departure.  Idk if he was sleeping with multiple Jezebels (single moms! egads!) but that sounds like he didn't leave on good terms for whatever reason.

Edited September 1, 2023 by GuineaPigCourtship
missed an important word

[rebeccawriter01]

34 minutes ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I'm not in the mood for a deep dive, but the church was Henderson Bible Baptist Church and apparently they had multiple welcome posts and none acknowledging his departure.  Idk if he was sleeping with multiple Jezebels (single moms! egads!) but that sounds like he didn't leave on good terms for whatever reason.

Yes, I remember looking closer to when the departure happened. He disappeared from the church's website a few weeks (a month or maybe 2) before they moved back to get an apartment in Clinton. There was a lot of chatter at that time, but it was right in line with Carlin's wedding and the honeymoon where everyone was invested in how quickly she wore pants and then when the show aired for this time period there were a lot of inconsistencies with the timeline and story (Carlin and Evan going to Charleston before their actual honeymoon when they went in August/September instead and their baby announcement being staged because they announced at the new opening shoot and not at the park like it was on the show). Michael and Brandon moved back around the same time too. I remember at the time I thought it was odd and that he probably didn't leave on good terms, but I didn't think this was (if it is) the reason. 

I want to say that Kelly said something in a post around the time they returned that Gil had wanted to go into the ministry right after they got married too. She said that they struggled with money so he got the job he would later quit to start the tree business instead. Looking back it seems like an odd statement to make since there was no official statement about why the change. With Michael and Brandon, it was about her wanting to do nursing school. With Bobby we just got a few claims of the Lord and life led us in a different direction and we are excited about what the future will hold. It seemed odd at the time because of the show. Shows typically want a traditional storytelling technique without making the audience guess or make assumptions. Now that isn't an issue for the family (Chad and Erin's move) because there isn't a narrative to keep up. 

[llucie]

Has this person that gave this info about Bobby gave any proof that she knew him or attended that church or anything? How do we know this is not a random snarker that has made this theory because he/she was bored?

Personally i find it dificult to believe that he was cheating on his first year of marriage, they literally were still on the honeymoon phase, and unlike some of the other couples him and Tori seemed to have a lot of chemistry.

But everything is possible of course. I just hope the moderators are able to verify that this person is really an insider, like they do with people who does AMAs for example.

 

Edited September 3, 2023 by llucie
spelling

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, llucie said:

Personally i find it dificult to believe that he was cheating on his first year of marriage, they literally were still on the honeymoon phase, and unlike some of the other couples him and Tori seemed to have a lot of chemistry

It's not unusual that people cheat, even engaged or just married people. Why must fundies be different? There must be cheating on their circles, too. Not necessary intercourse (it's difficult considering their way of life), but flirting, kissing... why not?

We know nothing about Bobby. He can have chemistry with Tori but also be attracted to others. 

Of course, I'm not saying it's true. But fundies have not different feelings that heathens. And well... cheating has happened always, even in extreme conservative societies.

[llucie]

24 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

It's not unusual that people cheat, even engaged or just married people. Why must fundies be different? There must be cheating on their circles, too. Not necessary intercourse (it's difficult considering their way of life), but flirting, kissing... why not?

We know nothing about Bobby. He can have chemistry with Tori but also be attracted to others. 

Of course, I'm not saying it's true. But fundies have not different feelings that heathens. And well... cheating has happened always, even in extreme conservative societies.

Of course cheating can happen at any moment, but cheating on your wife after just getting married and so publically would be really bad. Like not just for fundie standards. Even for mainstream standards he would be a terrible person IMHO.

I do think them leaving the church was kinda weird but i always assumed he had gotten into a battle of egos with the main pastor or something like that.  

[Kiki03910]

I just watched the episode where Bobby asked GilFuckFace permissiin to marry Tori. Bobby seemed gutted that the answer might be no. That makes me think he's a fucking idiot, and Gil is an obvious sadist. I wonder if Bobby's relief has stood up to the reality of Tori's 8 million pregnancies. His choice, though!

[vienna]

I remember Kelly once said, from all the couples Tori and Bobby remind her the most of her an Gil. That was when they were dating/courtshiping. I feel sorry for Tori if the rumors are true. Such a betrayal, so early is always extremly hurtful. But with Toris mindeset, it is devastating.

[Kiki03910]

I've been watching the BUB episodes around Tori's first pregnancy.

Tori strikes me as *incredibly* checked out. She couldn't be arsed with her wedding, down to the flavor of the cake. She can't be arsed to cook. She can't be arsed to decorate. She can't be arsed to shop. Looking at her married timeline, the only thing she seems willing to do is have a billion babies. I wonder if she's seriously depressed thanks to her upbringing. I mean, I would be...

This timeline also gave me my first inkling of Erin appreciation (I know!). Erin, despite her absolute horrendous smugness and narcissism, actually seems hungry to learn how to do things and have accomplishments, even if they're within the terrible strictures of her religion. She seems very creative and motivated, and gets shit done. What an incredible pity that her talents and drive were stifled by her fucking idiotic, selfish parents. In another universe she would probably be a very accomplished woman.

ETA apologies if I'm covering ground you guys have already discussed. I'm fairly new to the shows and message boards.

Edited October 10, 2023 by Kiki03910

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, Kiki03910 said:

I've been watching the BUB episodes around Tori's first pregnancy.

Tori strikes me as *incredibly* checked out. She couldn't be arsed with her wedding, down to the flavor of the cake. She can't be arsed to cook. She can't be arsed to decorate. She can't be arsed to shop. Looking at her married timeline, the only thing she seems willing to do is have a billion babies. I wonder if she's seriously depressed thanks to her upbringing. I mean, I would be...

This timeline also gave me my first inkling of Erin appreciation (I know!). Erin, despite her absolute horrendous smugness and narcissism, actually seems hungry to learn how to do things and have accomplishments, even if they're within the terrible strictures of her religion. She seems very creative and motivated, and gets shit done. What an incredible pity that her talents and drive were stifled by her fucking idiotic, selfish parents. In another universe she would probably be a very accomplished woman.

ETA apologies if I'm covering ground you guys have already discussed. I'm fairly new to the shows and message boards.

I do agree that Erin is not lazy. But what’s funny is that I don’t actually think even Jill Rod is lazy. I think both Erin and Jill are similar in that they will work hard for things they care about. They are so selfish in that way. Erin doesn’t care if she puts a baby in a closet just like Jill. She doesn’t have to sleep in a closet. Jill will work her butt off for the ladies retreat. Erin will work her butt off to have a bunch of animals and perfect colorless house. It’s too bad they both want so many children. I think both would have done better with very few children and a full time job they love. 

[Kiki03910]

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I do agree that Erin is not lazy. But what’s funny is that I don’t actually think even Jill Rod is lazy. I think both Erin and Jill are similar in that they will work hard for things they care about. They are so selfish in that way. Erin doesn’t care if she puts a baby in a closet just like Jill. She doesn’t have to sleep in a closet. Jill will work her butt off for the ladies retreat. Erin will work her butt off to have a bunch of animals and perfect colorless house. It’s too bad they both want so many children. I think both would have done better with very few children and a full time job they love. 

Yes, exactly! I don't know anything about Jill Rod, but Erin could have been a productive member of society. Instead she's just reproductive. What a fucking waste.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Kiki03910 said:

Yes, exactly! I don't know anything about Jill Rod, but Erin could have been a productive member of society. Instead she's just reproductive. What a fucking waste.

Lucky you! I wish I didn’t know about Jill Rod 😂🤣😂

[SassyPants]

IMO, people who love and cherish children want what is best for those children. NO ONE can do more for many children than they can for fewer numbers of children. These folks don’t have baby after baby for the sake of the baby, they do it for themselves. The only child who is important in these families is the next child.

If Christmas was every week, it would not be as magical or celebrated. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Kiki03910 said:

Tori strikes me as *incredibly* checked out. She couldn't be arsed with her wedding, down to the flavor of the cake. She can't be arsed to cook. She can't be arsed to decorate. She can't be arsed to shop. Looking at her married timeline, the only thing she seems willing to do is have a billion babies. I wonder if she's seriously depressed thanks to her upbringing.

I follow Tia Levings  (@TiaLevingsWriter  on Insta). Tia was raised fundie and had a fundie marriage + kids. At some point she walked away from the marriage and left the fundie life in the rear-view marriage. Now she talks and writes about it.  One thing she did discuss was the "pleasant countenance" which basically had to do with looking pleasant while dying inside. 

[rebeccawriter01]

3 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

I've been watching the BUB episodes around Tori's first pregnancy.

Tori strikes me as *incredibly* checked out. She couldn't be arsed with her wedding, down to the flavor of the cake. She can't be arsed to cook. She can't be arsed to decorate. She can't be arsed to shop. Looking at her married timeline, the only thing she seems willing to do is have a billion babies. I wonder if she's seriously depressed thanks to her upbringing. I mean, I would be...

This timeline also gave me my first inkling of Erin appreciation (I know!). Erin, despite her absolute horrendous smugness and narcissism, actually seems hungry to learn how to do things and have accomplishments, even if they're within the terrible strictures of her religion. She seems very creative and motivated, and gets shit done. What an incredible pity that her talents and drive were stifled by her fucking idiotic, selfish parents. In another universe she would probably be a very accomplished woman.

ETA apologies if I'm covering ground you guys have already discussed. I'm fairly new to the shows and message boards.

I think that Tori and Trace were the first of the family not to have an identity from  birth. You have:

1. Zach the leader - first born, etc.

2. Michaela - part leader but major helper

3. Erin - the talent and golden child - cover girl for the family branding

4. Lawson - the family spokesperson - he is 100% marketing, as he was the one who broke the myth that the family was going to control everything because he got to chase his dream of being a singer. Note the parents presented him to the public as resourceful and hardworking by spreading the stories of him helping out financially (greatly exaggerated) to show he wasn't too much of a dreamer.

5. Nathan - at that time the preacher, the one at that time most likely to carry on the tree business. He was considered the mini-Gil. 

6. Alyssa - the busy one who cooked, packed, and did everything that Michaela didn't or couldn't do. 

By the time Trace and Tori were born all the roles were filled. Tori supposedly loved babies, but that was already covered by Michaela. Trace wanted to be creative, etc. That was taken on by Lawson. I think they both have struggled because they feel or felt overshadowed. You can kind of still see it now in Trace. Tori's not very public so it is hard to tell. 

Carlin was and is loud but she lacks a true identity too. Josie broke through a bit more just because she seems to ignore a lot of the family drama and keep her head down until she got married. She follows the family narrative but she's also the one who didn't fall into the music education/education trap of her older siblings. She went for a shorter college experience and got the heck out. Katie always seemed to just want to be one of the older girls but never quite made the club.

After Josie and Katie most of the kids weren't always around the oldest ones Jud and Jeb probably have no memories of their oldest siblings at home. Callie probably has very few. They are probably less impacted by the roles in the family because they didn't deal with them. Even that trio of boys were young and carefree when they were a family of 19 under one roof. Now their older brothers are married off and having kids. Most of their sisters are moms. It doesn't matter what their role in the 19-house was because those are up for grabs again. 

Gil and Kelly talk about how they can spend one on one time with each. Kelly flys all over to see her grown children. Yet he children missed out on some milestones in terms of maturity and identity. The kids were identified and praised for what they brought to the family dynamic. For that group after Alyssa, there wasn't anything necessarily needed so they sort of faltered a bit. 

[gobucks]

1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

After Josie and Katie most of the kids weren't always around the oldest ones Jud and Jeb probably have no memories of their oldest siblings at home. Callie probably has very few. 

I never forget the way Callie acted when Michael went off on her honeymoon after her wedding night. Callie (rightfully so) acted like a baby being torn from her mother. You could tell in that moment who cared for her day in and day out. 

[mango_fandango]

Didn’t Alyssa and Josie share a room in the Bates house, just the two of them?