John Shrader Pt 8- Me, me, me missionary

[MayMay1123]

dang, those keller women make some cute kids! i sincerely hope they aren't doomed to the cult forever...

[slickcat79]

53 minutes ago, infooverload said:

Didn't John fairly recently talk about humility. All I can think of is the quote "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

He's just so clueless. He has a recent post asking for prayers for Zambia, because the political violence there has gotten worse and has even led to several deaths.

The very next entry, he shared some woman's "great testimony" about the power of prayer. She prayed for God to show her a way to get more money, and then someone offered her husband a free washing machine, giving them the option to sell the one they had. Apparently God is too busy answering American prayers with unnecessary household appliances to keep Zambians from being killed 

[ILoveJellybeans]

That poem is the most narcissistic piece of crap I have ever read.

[formergothardite]

23 hours ago, Loveday said:

I think he meant that only half the people enrolled in the boot camp graduated, including himself. #SOTDRTstrikesagain

But I love your interpretation, so that's the one I'm going with! 

I'm going to stick with it too just because John has never mentioned graduating from ALERT and that sounds like something he would brag about a great deal.  

Plus, John seems like the type of ATI student who would fail ALERT. Can you imagine him being content taking orders, working hard physically and being screamed at? I just can't see him sticking with it. 

[nastyhobbitses]

27 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I'm going to stick with it too just because John has never mentioned graduating from ALERT and that sounds like something he would brag about a great deal.  

Plus, John seems like the type of ATI student who would fail ALERT. Can you imagine him being content taking orders, working hard physically and being screamed at? I just can't see him sticking with him. 

I could see him being the asshole kid everyone else hates because he's lazy and smug and never wants to pull his weight, and wouldn't hesitate to throw other kids under the bus when he gets in trouble.

[hollyandivy]

Thanks for posting the "poem" - I haven't laughed that  hard in a really long time - I sat here snorting, giggling, crying - it was the worst piece of writing  ever....

And whoever said it sounded like a 8 year old writing, my daughter is 9 and I think her teacher would have a fit if any of her students wrote THAT

 

[uber frau]

He uses an awful lot of words like that.

[bertnee]

I could see him being the asshole kid everyone else hates because he's lazy and smug and never wants to pull his weight, and wouldn't hesitate to throw other kids under the bus when he gets in trouble.

So... Josh Duggar? [emoji2]

[ChickenettiLuvr]

I'm quite literally *howling* over that dreadful pome. Good gawd almighty. 

[CTRLZero]

John had a "groove"?  I read through this masterpiece a couple times, and it hurt my brain.

What is going to happen when his dad is no longer around to shore up John's ministry?  Can John make it on his own (supporting his large family)?  Not as a poet, in any event...

[Gimme a Free RV]

On 6/30/2016 at 4:12 PM, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

ETA:  I really REALLY hope that defrauding cake topper got used again for John's birthday.  Slap a turtleneck on her and voila!

I heard she hid herself behind the measuring cups and begged the birthday candles not to tell John where she was.  She did, however, briefly contemplate dressing as a nun and popping out of the middle of the cake on the last note of "Happy Birthday to You."

[helenprev]

14 hours ago, ChickenettiLuvr said:

I'm quite literally *howling* over that dreadful pome. Good gawd almighty. 

Howling with laughter, or in despair? I'm caught somewhere tragically between the two.

[PopRox]

Getting caught up on this thread. You guys, I tried to make it through John's "poem," I really did.

But then I got to the line about "He learned the value of hard work and cash," and I had to nope right out of there, climb to the top of Nope Mountain, and plant a NOPE flag at the top. John learned the value of cash, yes, but hard work? Don't make me laugh!

[Peas n carrots]

That poem was EPIC, but not in its intended way. John is to poetry what Tommy Wisseau is to film - so awful it's unintentionally hilarious.

[Evangeline]

That is the greatest thing I've ever read. I'd hate read the shit out of a poetry book by John. How can I make this book happen? 

[samira_catlover]

@Evangeline: Maybe we should see about a GFM or Kickstarter campaign?  Think the latter might be better: you have to produce something to get money, but it's possible to have stretch goals for even more donations. Perhaps:

• Three poems, any subject, minimum 36 limes---he gets $25 USD. Lather, rinse, reapply.
• For a wedding- or funeral-based theme, minimum 12 lines: $50 US.
• If he can write a 24-line-min poem about his family (birth or marriage or both) and NOT mention himself more than three times, that's $100.
• A properly modest, Godly, love-sonnet to a human, in classical structure-----$250.
• For a two-act play: $1000.

 

[KnittingOwl]

On July 2, 2016 at 5:09 PM, samira_catlover said:

@Evangeline: Maybe we should see about a GFM or Kickstarter campaign?  Think the latter might be better: you have to produce something to get money, but it's possible to have stretch goals for even more donations. Perhaps:

• Three poems, any subject, minimum 36 limes---he gets $25 USD. Lather, rinse, reapply.
• For a wedding- or funeral-based theme, minimum 12 lines: $50 US.
• If he can write a 24-line-min poem about his family (birth or marriage or both) and NOT mention himself more than three times, that's $100.
• A properly modest, Godly, love-sonnet to a human, in classical structure-----$250.
• For a two-act play: $1000.

 

Or use Patreon. John can give out different length poems depending on your pledge level. 

[PopRox]

On 7/2/2016 at 5:33 PM, Peas n carrots said:

That poem was EPIC, but not in its intended way. John is to poetry what Tommy Wisseau is to film - so awful it's unintentionally hilarious.

Tommy Wiseau is at least way more productive than Schrader. And way more entertaining.

[formergothardite]

 

John's latest overly dramatic post.

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While the vilest of perversions

The vilest of perversions, you would think would be something involving sexually assaulting children, but no:

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like Sodomy

to John it is two consenting adults getting married and having a family. 

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While Islam, Sodomy, Transgender Ideology, Evolution and Humanism are welcome and promoted in the public classrooms to poison the vulnerable minds of the youth, even attempts to mention "Jesus Christ" are silenced with a frightening militancy.

Only in the delusional minds of persecution complex Christians is America persecuting Christians. 

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America seems to want Freedom to sin

I want freedom to not follow John's random rules of what is sin and what isn't. 

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 Freedom from Christianity 

As a non-Christian, I rather do want freedom from Christianity. I'm not sure why I should have it forced on me.

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reminder of the wickedness now rampant in its society.

Actually things are getting better. Remember back in the bad old days when we enslaved folks, women had no rights and children worked to death in horrific conditions? Wickedness was really rampant then.

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May we, God's people, true Blood-bought Born Again Believers, begin to deeply search own own hearts, deal with the sin we find there,

Take your own advice John and spend some time working on that sin of pride. Example 1: that ridiculous pome your wrote praising yourself.

ETA:

He had been receiving some criticism and isn't happy:

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I recently had a man send me a lengthy rebuke, but his literary lashing was devoid of Scripture. It was his own heart condemning what he thought he found fault in me

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The pastor who recently dropped our support was likewise silent regarding the Word of God in his communication to me that they were ceasing and desisting, and when I simply asked him what doctrinal violation I had committed, and what was his Scriptural reason for doing so, I received no response containing the Word of God.

 

[slickcat79]

45 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

He had been receiving some criticism and isn't happy:

Quote

I recently had a man send me a lengthy rebuke, but his literary lashing was devoid of Scripture. It was his own heart condemning what he thought he found fault in me

Quote

The pastor who recently dropped our support was likewise silent regarding the Word of God in his communication to me that they were ceasing and desisting, and when I simply asked him what doctrinal violation I had committed, and what was his Scriptural reason for doing so, I received no response containing the Word of God.

 

So stupid. He will only accept "rebuke" if it is biblically based, but if you say something he doesn't like you're just interpreting the bible incorrectly. Just look at the mental pretzel he twisted himself into to explain why wine in the bible is not really wine.

51 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Quote

While Islam, Sodomy, Transgender Ideology, Evolution and Humanism are welcome and promoted in the public classrooms to poison the vulnerable minds of the youth, even attempts to mention "Jesus Christ" are silenced with a frightening militancy.

Only in the delusional minds of persecution complex Christians is America persecuting Christians. 

Oh, and I love his collection of vile perversions facing the US. He's just about filled up Satan's bingo card. And just how in the hell would John know what's being promoted in American public schools? He hasn't set foot in one in years, if ever.

[bertnee]

How quickly rebuking heathens forget that John is always right! :-P

[Gobsmacked]

The pastor who dropped support probably did it eleventy!!! % due to Johns spendthrift wasteful ways. The pastor will know how much his congregation can afford to give without their own families suffering financially.

He will want their offerings to go to something sensible. Not to a fake missionary who spends hours sat on his fat bum playing on the internet whilst his wife is struggling with an ever expanding family.

Good on the Pastor, he sounds very sensible.

[Eternalbluepearl]

If you replace John's "they won't teach christianity in public schools" argument with "they won't teach Islam or Judaism in public schools" would the fundies understand why it's not okay for schools to indoctrinate children into a religion? All this "they've taken prayer and Jesus out of the schools" crap annoys me. Of course there isn't prayer in school. Not everyone believes in the same god or in god at all and it isn't appropriate use of school time. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

"Buck said she could rattle off poetry like nothing. She didn't ever have to stop to think. He said she would slap down a line, and if she couldn't find anything to rhyme with it she would just scratch it out and slap down another one, and go ahead. She warn't particular, she could write about anything you choose to give her to write about, just so it was sadful. Every time a man died, or a woman died, or a child died, she would be on hand withher `tribute' before he was cold. She called them tributes. The neighbors said it was the doctor first, then Emmeline, then the undertaker--the undertaker never got in ahead of Emmeline but once, and then she hung fire on a rhyme for the dead person's name, which was Whistler. She warn't ever the same, after that; she never complained, but she kind of pined away and did not live long."  - Mark Twain

[Grimalkin]

      I guess when John's parents told him he was special, he believed it. John you are special and unique, just like everyone else.