TLC Documentary on Sexual Abuse

[Cleopatra7]

I wonder if any of the Duggars will watch it.

I doubt it. My bet is that the remaining kids and kidults at the TTH are going to be on media lock down for the foreseeable future. Besides, the show will probably reference secular psychology, which is anathema to ATI, along with any kind of medically accurate information on mental, physical, or sexual health issues.

[withaj]

I doubt it. My bet is that the remaining kids and kidults at the TTH are going to be on media lock down for the foreseeable future. Besides, the show will probably reference secular psychology, which is anathema to ATI, along with any kind of medically accurate information on mental, physical, or sexual health issues.

Well, supposedly the girls weren't going to have speaking roles, just be shown in a workshop or something, but they promo'd Jill speaking in the first 2 minutes so I suspect they'll probably watch.

ETA: by "they" I DON'T mean the howlers and lost girls -- just some of the marrieds and maybe older kids.

[SportsgalAnnie]

so far Jill hasn't been erased. She was in the intro :disgust:

[Imrlgoddess]

Wine in hand, show just started.

[Librul]

Jill blathering in the opening and a shot of Jessa during the opening voice overs.

[Mela99]

I'm watching -- Jill just spoke in the intro. "This kind of thing happens in other families all the time!" This is going to be a disaster.

:shock: Maybe THEIR families . . .

[Imrlgoddess]

:shock: Maybe THEIR families . . .

That was my thought too... They're going to try & say this is common.. It makes me sick.

[HarryPotterFan]

That was my thought too... They're going to try & say this is common.. It makes me sick.

I really hope that the experts refute this and also emphasize it's not okay just because you know another family where this type of thing happens. Ugh.

[withaj]

Uh-oh -- "Forgiving him was the best gift I ever gave myself." I think this is a totally valid feeling for the woman speaking about this, but I don't like that it gives the Duggars a way to minimize and blame the girls for any residual resentment and for not having "moved on" fast enough.

[Buzzard]

It begins with a warning...

An estimated 42 million americans are survivors of childhood sexual abuse. In this commercial-free special, victims and experts explore what parents and caregivers can do to help prevent abuse, aid in the healing process, and break the silence.

Viewer discretion is advised

I think I just threw up a little reading that in the context of the Duggars...

Victims are afraid to reveal, 1 in 6 boys, 1 in 3-4 girls... shots of various people talking and ominous music... then happy music as they talk about "fighting back." Jill ... Jessa... shown in a class learning how to prevent abuse...

5 brave survivors (not JIll and Jessa) will "speak up" and show others how to end the epidemic.

Fades to black...

Most child sexual abuse is perpetrated by people these children know, but people they trust.

Many victims never speak up but 1 in 10 children will be abused before they are 18. More children than are in car accidents or diagnosed with cancer.

Erin Meryyn...

Taking her baby out to the zoo. She's the typical suburban mom. Shots or Erin's childhood. When she was 6 she was abused by a friend's uncle. she didnt tell. She says that she was only warned about strangers but was never told to tell if she was abused. It continued for years. She describes abuse in detail and that he threatened her. Her friend made her promise to be quiet as well.

It ended when she moved but then it happened again when she was abused by a cousin.

Jim Hopper (psychologist) says that 90% of abuse is committed by people the children know and trust. "Stranger Danger" is wrong. Victims are plagued by feelings of guilt and shame.

When Erin was 11 she was abused by her 13 year old cousin. It went on for 2 years. She began writing about it. Her little sister was also being abused and they told their parents. Her father was surprised that they didnt come sooner.'

Dr. Anne Botash says most children dont tell because they fear they will be in trouble or that they did something wrong. You have to tell the child that they didnt do anything wrong and dont react in a way to scare them.

Erin recorded video about her feelings. They show the video. The child received court ordered counseling but Erin didnt get treatment. She tried to kill herself at age 15. She wrote a letter to the cousin saying that she wanted him to suffer. She got a letter back and later apologized. She read the letter on Oprah... she decided to forgive him because the anger was hurting her. It was a gift she gave herself.

She then began writing a book "stolen innocence" and began telling her story in public. She wants people to know that you are not alone. She hadnt told anyone about the first abuse and felt like a hypocrite for telling people to tell their stories. She finally told her mom and the shame lifted. She now focuses on educating others.

HOTLINE to RAINN on screen. 1800656HOPE.

[Lazuli]

Are there any books you recommend on the subject of dealing with the aftermath of this? I'm very wary of going down a non-constructive rabbit hole but I have a real need to learn about this.

I am grateful that I am not a victim. But someone very close to me was and I have been unable to forgive those who knew and did nothing. Those who were angry that it was acknowledged rather than being angry it happened. I need to know why. Why victims forgive, why they can still love the abuser and hide it for years, why otherwise good and decent - loving family members could know and still allow the abuser to be part of the family. To allow kids to develop family ties with people only to be told later and not expect that to shatter.

I'm looking for a decent source which explains how people cope and explain some of the (to me) inexplicable ability to compartmentalize it. Book, website, studies...anything.

I did not mean to make this about me - but when you said you educate others I was hoping it would be okay to ask.

Thank you, Buffy.

The book that helped me the most was called, "Trauma and Recovery", by Judith Herman. It's often referenced by therapists. RAINN is a valuable online resource, and a great source of support.

(Sorry for going a bit off topic here.)

[Idolatry]

TlC is running Whatever this is without commercials. I gues the sponsors are done with this crap.

If this is supposed to be a documentary??

[Librul]

Seminar...here come shots of Duggerlings.

[Librul]

Jessa spouts off

[withaj]

Wow, Jessa, how scripted of you!

[Buzzard]

Part 2

I dont have to hide from this anymore, I dont have to be ashamed of this anymore

Kealan is 11 and speaks out about her abuse. When she was 4 or 5 she was abused but didnt tell.

Dr. Botash - its usually a period of time before children come forward.

Children of sexual assault are at greater risk of problems.

Kealan - I was afraid to go out in public. Couldnt eat, felt like something was blocking my throat. Didnt want to go out because I was afraid I'd see them. A person who abuses a child takes away their voice and their joy.

She began looking for help on the internet and found Erin. Kealan told her mom about the abuse and felt better. Her mom supported her and got her in therapy.

Hopper -The first stage of recover is managing. Second is addressing memories, third is reengaging in life

Kealan and Erin bonded. Its important for survivors to talk to one another. They began writing eachother and Erin became her role model. She now speaks up to other children.

TLC pimps their website to get info about talking to children.

David Moody hid his secret for decades. He's 59 and a successful contractor. His abuser was 17 and he was 9 or 10. It started with porn and moved on. He was threatened and would double check doors before he went to bed. He wont say what actually happened.

The abuse ended when they moved and David didnt tell anyone. He just buried it. He kept himself busy to keep from thinking about it. He was worried that someone would know that a man had sex with him. One day he found out that someone on his wife's side had been abused and he told her. He had a breakdown and thought it would kill him.

Hopper - men think that they arent a real man so they dont tell. Its a huge burden.

Moody - He now speaks publicly about his story and work ethic. Some people come forward after he speaks and tell him it happened to them as well. He still has intimacy issues.

There are seminars that teach 5 steps to prevent child sexual abuse.

[FakePigtails]

"React responsibly" - bet that part was awkward.

[SportsgalAnnie]

CANT believe TLC left the Duggars in :wtf:

[Thechurchlady]

Thank you, Buffy.

The book that helped me the most was called, "Trauma and Recovery", by Judith Herman. It's often referenced by therapists. RAINN is a valuable online resource, and a great source of support.

(Sorry for going a bit off topic here.)

As a therapist I definitely agree. Trauma and Recovery is a brilliant, practical and profound resource. Good luck.

[withaj]

Jill: "I like the idea of, um, like, just thinking before you're in a situation..." :angry-banghead:

[HarryPotterFan]

Wow, Jessa, how scripted of you!

What did she say?

[Librul]

JChelle looked glazed. Jill thinks you should set up boundaries ahead of time. Surprise!

[lascuba]

Jessa sounds even more scripted than usual. You can tell that she spent a good amount of time planning it out: "What can I say that would stop people being mad about me defending sexual abuse?"

And there goes Jill about boundaries. God, that girls is so stupid.

[withaj]

What did she say?

Something along the lines of, "I definitely think we should be talking about this, child sexual abuse shouldn't be a taboo topic"

[HarryPotterFan]

Jill: "I like the idea of, um, like, just thinking before you're in a situation..." :angry-banghead:

What?