TLC Documentary on Sexual Abuse

[Fluffypaws]

They sure were smiling an awful lot for something that is so important.

[RabbitKM]

So I went over to the TLC facebook page to see the comments, and i saw this one.

Wow !! I am blocked from the Erins law page because of the comments I made on this page. Erin. you are blocking everyone that disagrees with your allowing yourself to be featured with the Duggars.. FUNNY.. most DUGGAR LEG HUMPERS do the same thing.. way to discredit yourself and your cause.. :(

thats strange, right?

[Rubyroo]

I was looking at the TLC Facebook page comments and there was a post made after the breaking silence announcement that said, "Learn more about Erin's Law" or something close to that and had her picture. There were 17 comments and all but one or two were negative and saying they lost respect for Erin. After my iPad safari app crashed(regular occurrence), I went back and that post was gone. So that's weird, too.

I also saw two other people saying they were blocked by Erin after "politely disagreeing" (their words) with her being in the same show as the duggars. I think TLC might be realizing how badly they screwed up right now. I wonder if they will have to damage control this damage control.

[Goldduggar]

Darn it! I missed the special and it's not on YouTube yet. Someone said that Buzzard wrote a recap of it, I think, but I can't find the recap in search. Can someone please direct me? Thanks so much! (Edit: I found it on page 8 of this thread. Thanks Buzzard!).

[Goldduggar]

And this is another reason it was such a bad idea to include them; it's counter productive to Eryn Merryn's goal of raising awareness. The focus of people and the media (when they pick this up) isn't/won't be on what it should.

Can you point me to where Buzzard transcribed the documentary please? I can't find it in the Search.... Thank you in advance!

[Daisy4]

I watched the whole thing.

As a mom, I did hear some things that I hope will help me to protect my children. I thought that the survivors were very brave to tell their stories.

It makes me sad that the duggars will "steal the spotlight" and those survivors won't get the recognition they deserve. That 11 year old is incredibly brave.

I think that TLC was trying to make it look like the duggars were there to learn something. I imagine TLC is trying to say they are helping them by giving them this opportunity.

I'm glad that they weren't presented as some sort of authority on the subject. I'm also glad that Jill and Jessa weren't included in the 5 survivors. Those 5 people were articulate and fully acknowledged the damage caused by CSA. I was worried that Jill and Jessa would be presented as brave survivors who overcame this (while the babbled about forgiveness and minimizing it) but that wasn't the case at all. They were shown to be there to learn. I don't think they should have shown them speaking at all.

I sincerely hope that they did learn something!

[HarryPotterFan]

Someone posted that this special was a clear publicity stunt for TLC to fix their reputation but including the Duggars poisoned it. And that anyone who treats someone like the Duggars so can't be a good person.

Damn, people are pissed. And TLC and Erin can't just delete angry comments and pretend like everything is hunky dory with the reaction this is getting. Erin is doing great things weigh getting Erin's law passed and raising awareness, it's a shame that she's allying herself with the Duggars.

[Whipple]

Do you think Erin is hitching her star to the Duggar's so she can gain visibility? If so, that is sad. That didn't work out so well didn't it?

Also, I've been thinking about the subject of pedophilia and, not to derail, but I think the committee that develops the next revision to the DSM should consider lowering the age as long as other conditions are met, such as grooming behaviors, an element of control, repeated abuse, a degree of narcissism, and a very large age difference between victim and perpetrator. I don't like that 16 is the hard and fast number that the committee came up with. It seems arbitrary and I know I am not on the committee but I sure would like to be a fly on the wall when they start discussing ages. Before you think I am too bold, the rules can and do change; once upon a recent past, a DSM committee determined that being LGBT was an illness.

Just wondering because of all the recent attention to the subject.

[theilnana]

I just finished watching this crap. The whole thing almost normalized abuse. The stats, while likely put in to create awareness, just made it seem that child sexual abuse just happens everywhere all the time, so what's the big deal? I really feel TLC's intention was to minimize what happened to the Duggar girls. There was absolutely no reason to include the Duggars in this "special" other than to justify ever putting them on the air. The girls just smiled through the whole "educational seminar" that dealt with one of the saddest topics in modern society. Michelle, who should be hanging her head in shame for the way she swept the sexual abuse in her home under the rug, was there only to make sure her married adult daughters towed the family line. With Jill saying that this happens in so many families and Jessa saying that the topic as child sexual abuse shouldn't be taboo it just felt like they were saying that we were somehow singling them out. It honestly felt like it was a way for TLC to say that they did the responsible thing and leaving the window opened a small crack for a possible Duggar return. This whole thing makes me sick.

[OodOnTheLoo]

I would imagine it was to show us all how seriously they take this subject.

I think it had the opposite effect, since they acted like it had never touched their lives.

I'm not convinced they believe the types of assaults they are hearing about bear any resemblence to what Josh did...because Josh is a good Christian and it was only mild, inappropriate touching. I think in trying to defend Josh they have convinced themselves that it was nothing. Funny they never mention the assaults on the other sisters. How do those accounts jive with what they tried to say on Megyn's interview.

I didn't watch this but really, wtf was tlc thinking and why didn't they edit better? I don't get it. Why were the Duggars on there?

[LilyRose]

Yes.

And they were, apparently, trying to pitch a show to TLC where they go around counseling abuse victims.

I'm guessing they saw this as a launching off point.

Holy Crap!

It's hard to imagine anything more damaging for other survivors than being "counselled" by the Duggars. What sort of counselling would they be offering.

"Don't worry your fine, inappropriate touching isn't abuse."

"Just forgive and get over it"

"It's really your own fault for not dressing modestly and following Jesus, he can't be held responsible because you defrauded him".

:angry-banghead:

I had one rape counselor who told me that I shouldn't be too angry at my rapist because he was just as much a victim as I was because his parents never taught him right from wrong- at the time I was going through the process of reporting him to the police. In many ways that "therapy" session was more damaging than anything he ever did to me.

[Phoenix]

From the recap Buzzard did, (many thanks, Buzzard!) it seems like the whole special was a PR whitewash attempt. The Duggar's were there to add legitimacy to TLC's combined mea-culpa and washing their hands of any responsibility for exploiting an already badly damaged family on TV.

The other sisters who Josh abused are still sidelined in part because they had not become the fan favorites of the show due to their marriages. Just one more example of how women are not valued beyond being wives and baby factories in fundy land.

I agree with other posters. TLC was testing the waters to see if there might be hope for a Duggar return to TV. Instead they just made their network look like the raging opportunists they are.

[watchdog]

Wow, they're so brainwashed that they twisted what they learned heard so it can fit their beliefs.

There, I fixed it for you. Sadly, I don't think they learned anything. :cry:

[watchdog]

From the Yahoo article posted a few pages back where Erin Merryn describes her meeting with the younger Duggar children in 2013:

yahoo.com/parenting/abuse-survivor-reveals-duggar-text-messages-the-120789500852.html

So for two hours on September 24, 2013, I sat with nine of their kids, telling them about safe touches, about how people shouldn’t touch you in areas that fall under a swimsuit, and what types of secrets you should tell adults immediately. Only nine of their kids were there – the younger ones. The girls who were abused were out of town, and Josh wasn’t living there at the time. He was already living in DC.

Considering the Duggars' insistence upon "modest" swimwear, this rules out about 95% of the surface of the body and equates a touch on the elbow with a touch on what should be truly private, off-limits areas of the body. Somehow I don't think those were the types of swimsuits she was thinking about, so it makes me wonder how the youngest J'kids may have interpreted that. :( It definitely could have sent them a confusing message.

It's not really important, but I was just trying to think of which 9 kids may have been there. The youngest 8 are Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, and the 4 little girls. Jed and Jer are next up, then Joy Anna. Joy Anna was tacitly implied to have been out of town, and Jed and Jer are often treated as one, so maybe Jed and Jer down to Jordyn comprised the nine? Josie may have been the odd one out. Two years ago she would have been too young to grasp much of what was being discussed, although I do firmly believe this sort of training should begin early and in an age-appropriate way without making children afraid of everyone they meet.

Depicted in the photo with Erin, supposedly during the same visit where this discussion took place, the children are JD, Joseph, Jer, Jason, Johannah, Jennifer, and Josie. So who knows? I just know I spent too long thinking about this!

[FundieWatcher]

No mention of the special on the Duggar Facebook page. :doh:

[TheJewAmongUs]

I'm disappointed that TLC mentioned the Duggars while promoting this when their participation was tangential. They should have been promoting Cheryl Burke's participation as one of the actual subjects if the documentary. I hope 20/20 will recruit some of the people featured and produce a story that actually helps someone.

Michelle's knees were on full display. I wonder if that only affects Jim Bob's precious heart or if her sons are defrauded when she wears that skirt. It looks like the girls realized that they should at least practice what they preach with their clothing. Unfortunately, they also opened their mouths. Jill seemed extremely insincere when she said she liked the idea of boundaries. She could barely get her line out, but remember anyone, the Duggar already had boundaries with their lap sitting and hide n seek rules, so they did everything right. And the Jess said safeguards, the same word her parents used for damage control. From the police report interviews to the Megyn Kelly puff piece to whatever this was they have just been parroting what they parents want them to say. I wouldn't be surprised if Jim Bob was in the room the whole time. I'd love to hear from someone else to find out if they even bothered to stage the whole seminar, or just filmed some highlights with the cameras pointed at the Duggars. If this special ever airs again, TLC should edit those segments out to make room for commercials.

[Lazuli]

So I went over to the TLC facebook page to see the comments, and i saw this one.

thats strange, right?

I was blocked and my comment erased from her page, and I personally know of about seven other survivors who were, too. And none of the comments from these people were trollish. In fact, they were supportive of Erin's Law, but not the Duggars being in the documentary.

It's unfortunate that she felt it was necessary to try and silence survivors saying how triggered they were by the Duggars minimizing and denying their own abuse.

Edited to add this in: And yes, she's scrubbed her FB page of any negative or questioning comments. She threatened in an earlier post that she would block anyone who said anything negative about the documentary. I think she's taking the criticism personally. (I'm sure some comments have been harsh, but the ones I know of were actually quite gentle. So, this feels like an overreaction on her part.)

I do support Erin's Law, but I'm totally taken aback by her handling of the people she's supposed to representing. Not very professional, imo. But whatever. I'm not taking it personally.

[Lazuli]

I watched the whole thing.

As a mom, I did hear some things that I hope will help me to protect my children. I thought that the survivors were very brave to tell their stories.

It makes me sad that the duggars will "steal the spotlight" and those survivors won't get the recognition they deserve. That 11 year old is incredibly brave.

I think that TLC was trying to make it look like the duggars were there to learn something. I imagine TLC is trying to say they are helping them by giving them this opportunity.

I'm glad that they weren't presented as some sort of authority on the subject. I'm also glad that Jill and Jessa weren't included in the 5 survivors. Those 5 people were articulate and fully acknowledged the damage caused by CSA. I was worried that Jill and Jessa would be presented as brave survivors who overcame this (while the babbled about forgiveness and minimizing it) but that wasn't the case at all. They were shown to be there to learn. I don't think they should have shown them speaking at all.

I sincerely hope that they did learn something!

I hope you're right and people will actually take some of the helpful information and apply it. I would like to see Erin's Law gain momentum, too.

Just curious...did it bother you that an eleven year old was on this program, talking about her abuse? I found that pretty exploitative. She could not consent, and clearly she does not have the emotional maturity that an adult talking about their childhood abuse would. I was outraged that a child was put in the spotlight here, forced to relive their trauma. It's very unfair. Children should be playing and having fun. And honestly, it takes time to heal from abuse. You don't do that if you're performing for the adults in your life.

[Daisy4]

I hope you're right and people will actually take some of the helpful information and apply it. I would like to see Erin's Law gain momentum, too.

Just curious...did it bother you that an eleven year old was on this program, talking about her abuse? I found that pretty exploitative. She could not consent, and clearly she does not have the emotional maturity that an adult talking about their childhood abuse would. I was outraged that a child was put in the spotlight here, forced to relive their trauma. It's very unfair. Children should be playing and having fun. And honestly, it takes time to heal from abuse. You don't do that if you're performing for the adults in your life.

Hmm, I think her presence shocked me so much that I didn't really think about it that way. I guess I was really impressed with how well she spoke especially compared with Jill and Jessa. I got the impression that this she does a lot of public speaking on this subject. I'd like to think that, for her, public speaking and bringing attention to this subject is something that is helping her heal.

[Justme]

I watched the first 5 minutes, then I turned it off. I didn't have faith that TLC would do this topic justice. From the above comments, I think I was correct. The Duggar's caught TLC with their pants down around their knees and they were trying to do damage control. Stick the show on late, a school night and against the VMA's. They didn't want an audience.

[Librul]

I didn't know anything about Erin Merryn prior to this broadcast, but after watching it, I am not surprised that she is scrubbing and monitoring replies, criticisms and even mild negatives in fb about the special. She has suffered much and has done incredible things, but she gave me a vibe of "don't anyone challenge me." Understandable given what she has been through, but it don't think she would brook any disagreement on what approaches are best.

[SnazzyNazzy]

I watched the first 5 minutes, then I turned it off. I didn't have faith that TLC would do this topic justice. From the above comments, I think I was correct. The Duggar's caught TLC with their pants down around their knees and they were trying to do damage control. Stick the show on late, a school night and against the VMA's. They didn't want an audience.

I wasn't planning on watching it anyways. That said, it was on past my bedtime...lol. God, that makes me feel really old.

[FundieWatcher]

Understandable given what she has been through, but it don't think she would brook any disagreement on what approaches are best.

She was friendly with the Duggars before. I imagine she was cherry picked exactly because she wouldn't take anyone bashing them. Perhaps she is fundie lite even. Her law and content were good. Too bad the Duggars made the whole thing seem cheap.

[JenniferJuniper]

I don't understand the point of this at all.

TLC presents a collection of people who were horribly abused as young children. They tell their stories. Some stories involve the victims triumphing over their abuse, but not everyone is okay. The man who was raped as a boy is still suffering daily effects even though he is nearly 60.

It was was all very sad, but I hope the people featured found being on the show cathartic in some way.

And then you have those three happily grinning idiots who added absolutely nothing to the conversation and only made a few scripted (in the case of Jessa) and moronic (in the case of Jill) statements.

Michelle is not a victim. She was the enabler and protector of the abuser of her own children and was still apologizing for his bad behavior just a few months ago when she praised his sweet and tender heart. She had no advice whatsoever and nothing to add to the topic. Neither she nor her daughters had any business being on this show.

Seriously, TLC, WTF?

[holierthanyou]

I don't understand the point of this at all.

TLC presents a collection of people who were horribly abused as young children. They tell their stories. Some stories involve the victims triumphing over their abuse, but not everyone is okay. The man who was raped as a boy is still suffering daily effects even though he is nearly 60.

It was was all very sad, but I hope the people featured found being on the show cathartic in some way.

And then you have those three happily grinning idiots who added absolutely nothing to the conversation and only made a few scripted (in the case of Jessa) and moronic (in the case of Jill) statements.

Michelle is not a victim. She was the enabler and protector of the abuser of her own children and was still apologizing for his bad behavior just a few months ago when she praised his sweet and tender heart. She had no advice whatsoever and nothing to add to the topic. Neither she nor her daughters had any business being on this show.

Seriously, TLC, WTF?

How does TLC miss this crucial truth?