TLC Documentary on Sexual Abuse

[Blueruin]

I think Buzzard had offered?

Oh I really hope so

[HuggleMonster]

I believe that many of you agree with me on this point and some of you have brought it up, but it's been bothering me since the lie-a-thon happened and I just want to bring it up again. My biggest problem with the way the Duggars (especially Jill and Jessa) have responded to all of this is that they have been spreading misinformation about the nature of sexual abuse and how it should be dealt with.

The most upsetting thing for me was when Jill said that she plans on raising her children with the "safeguards" that her parents enforced.

There is so much wrong with that that I can't even begin to list all the issues. I wish that this would be discussed more. I hope they address it in the special, though it's doubtful.

I hope someone tells Jill on this special that these "safegurads" are fucking ridiculous and they will fuck up her children emotionally.

I hope someone tells Jill that there are women offenders, too.

And that locking their kids in their rooms at night so they don't molest each other is a bandaid solution.

And that you shouldn't lock your kids in their rooms to begin with, especially as a "safeguard" against sexual abuse.

I hope she finds out that "defrauding" your own brother or father or uncle isn't something little girls should be worried about, nor should they take responsibility for sexual abuse.

Sad as it is, the Duggars have a lot of fans who look up to them and will mirror their actions in their lives. I wouldn't be surprised if some unfortunate viewers started enforcing "safeguards" in their home because of the lie-a-thon.

That is truly horrible. Yes, we all have safe guards. Giving talks, explaining inappropriate behaviour and such. But I have a very bad feeling that all their safeguards will just be segregation and door locks.

Does anyone have any information on the group that's involved? Is it legit or does it just involve them praying and building house?

[ari_belle]

You are absolutely correct, Ari_belle.

In my mind-the safeguards are exactly the reason why the show had to be cancelled. They are doing absolutely everything wrong and very few people seem to understand that it is wrong.

I do not understand why they have not been subjected to more criticism for these safeguards and attitudes about defrauding.

Exactly. People are arguing over whether the show should have been cancelled, whether Josh deserves forgiveness, but no one is noting that all the information the Duggars are propagating could cause major harm to those who listen, and that Jill and Jessa essentially admitted that they plan to raise their children in a way that will stunt them in their ability to develop healthy relationships for the rest of their lives.

To bring up a few of these "safeguards" again:

Michelle said: "You know, little ones don't sit on big boys' laps or people that you don't know or even family members, unless it's your daddy.

And in the lie-a-thon interview, Jill said: “My parents said, OK, we’re not going to do this hide and seek thing where two people go off together, not babysitting the girls. Locks on the doors, everybody's in bed. As a mother now, I look back and think my parents did such an amazing job for me.â€

Then Jill said: "I hope I can set up the same safeguards in my family that they did."

[DeFrauder]

Everything about these Duggar safeguards are unhealthy.

Can you imagine not being allowed to play hide and seek because its an opportunity for a sibling to molest you?

The saddest thing is that I believe that Jill and Jessa believe what they are saying. They believe these are proper methods of child rearing.

[IrishCarrie]

How how how how how HOW, does it not occur to Jill or Jessa to think 'Hmmm. But maybe kids should be able to play hide and seek at will, without abuse being an issue. Now how does a parent make that happen?'

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[paganhomeschooler]

Everything about these Duggar safeguards are unhealthy.

Can you imagine not being allowed to play hide and seek because its an opportunity for a sibling to molest you?

The saddest thing is that I believe that Jill and Jessa believe what they are saying. They believe these are proper methods of child rearing.

I know, that is so ridiculous!! I've got 2 girls and 2 boys. They play together, unsupervised, in each others' bedrooms. The boys have all the Lego. My 2nd daughter has the boys come to her room to play dolls and do crafty things. I have 0 concern about it. I don't need to lock them in their rooms and segregate them from each other. In fact, now that my oldest is an angsty teenager and the middle 2 (girl/boy) will be going to the same school a grade apart this year, they are forming a STRONGER bond. I'm not trying to split them up like Jackson and Hannie or Joy and Josiah because it's now "dangerous" for them to be together.

[ari_belle]

I know, that is so ridiculous!! I've got 2 girls and 2 boys. They play together, unsupervised, in each others' bedrooms. The boys have all the Lego. My 2nd daughter has the boys come to her room to play dolls and do crafty things. I have 0 concern about it. I don't need to lock them in their rooms and segregate them from each other. In fact, now that my oldest is an angsty teenager and the middle 2 (girl/boy) will be going to the same school a grade apart this year, they are forming a STRONGER bond. I'm not trying to split them up like Jackson and Hannie or Joy and Josiah because it's now "dangerous" for them to be together.

I know, right? I have been dreading that for years for Jackson and Hannie in particular. They've obviously been close for their whole lives, and it's not natural for a bond like that to be forced apart because of fucked up attitudes about gender/experiences with sexual abuse in the home that have nothing to do with those two. Why should they be punished for Josh's molestation, or because their gender is not the same?

In the chaos of their household, Jackson and Hannie might be the closest two out of the howlers and the lost girls, and that's all going to change (or already has?) because of Mullet and Boob. Fucked up.

[RosyDaisy]

This documentary is nothing more than TLC's way of saving face. I'll probably watch it, but I'm betting it won't be as informative as they are making it out to be.

[HarleyQuinn]

Part of me wants to see them talk about how it "wasn't really abuse" victim blame, and overall make asses of themselves on national television again so people are harder on them.

Then part of me doesn't want to hear Jill talk about "safe guards" being put up in your home, because it's wrong to treat all males like future rapists.

[wotdancer]

How how how how how HOW, does it not occur to Jill or Jessa to think 'Hmmm. But maybe kids should be able to play hide and seek at will, without abuse being an issue. Now how does a parent make that happen?'

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

This! They can't see the forest for the trees...

[Rainytown]

"Viewers will also hear from experts during a sexual abuse prevention training given by Darkness to Light, one of the nation's leading organizations for abuse prevention, where Jill and Jessa Duggar attend following their own family's experience as they hope to help others and promote adult education for the protection of children . "

"Help others" with WHAT? They claim they're fine and nothing lasting or significant happened! TLC thinks they're making such a statement here, don't they? Oh, by ALL means, feature two women on camera who have made it clear they were "revictimized" by media attention of their molestation on a program allegedly discussing prevention training. What are they doing on the program in the first place when they repeatedly insisted "nothing happened" and "we forgave him"? And $20 says that Jilly Muffin and Jessa Blessa think this is the perfect time to talk about Jesus. Uh, no.

Hey, TLC, the clue phone's ringing, and it's for you. And RAINN and Darkness to Light, I can't believe you consented to any involvement with this program. The fact that TLC is running it at 10 PM (the kids who might need to see it will most likely be in bed) on one of the biggest vacation weeks of the year proves the network is not interested in imparting any kind of meaningful information to survivors that may need help. If TLC actually wanted viewers, they'd run it earlier in the evening, offer it to any channel who wanted to simulcast, and after Labor Day in the US...

[DawnJosie]

One article I read said the Duggar girls were paid for their participation. Is that true? I honestly don't know if that is normal or not.

I also want to know if Anna “Chickadee†Cardwell from Honey Boo Boo was asked if she wanted to participate. I haven't seen anything that suggests she was involved. That doesn't mean she was asked and declined. If TLC is really inspired to discuss this issue you'd think they would want to include her. I am curious if she will even be mentioned.

[HarleyQuinn]

One article I read said the Duggar girls were paid for their participation. Is that true? I honestly don't know if that is normal or not.

I also want to know if Anna “Chickadee†Cardwell from Honey Boo Boo was asked if she wanted to participate. I haven't seen anything that suggests she was involved. That doesn't mean she was asked and declined. If TLC is really inspired to discuss this issue you'd think they would want to include her. I am curious if she will even be mentioned.

Chickadee would've made more sense since she actually understands that she was sexually assaulted and not "mildly inappropriately touched."

I really think we'll probably only see a shot of Jill and Jessa attending whatever workshop this is, and hopefully they're not actually talking to anyone. Then after they get the shot, they both probably left the venue.

Really, the only way this could be a saving grace is if the program shows how badly the Duggars handled this.

[SpoonfulOSugar]

Oh I really hope so

I thought Buzzard offered as well, and I hope so. I can't (won't/shouldn't) watch, but I want to know what happens.

[Buzzard]

Oh I really hope so

I'm planning on doing it as my grand finale of Duggar recaps. Hopefully the last time they ever curse national television with their countenance.

[TheJewAmongUs]

Shortly after Michelle shared that "little ones don't sit on big boys' laps," I saw this image: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a0/a9/f4/a0a9f46c361412b7354a2feb0acadea3.jpg

It was originally posted by TLC in a now deleted tweet (twitter.com/TLC/status/567776824688930816/photo/1).

Look at Jordyn and Josie both straddling one of Derick's legs. So on top of enacting ridiculous safeguards which Jill goes on TV to say she's going to follow, she actually doesn't follow them when it comes to her own siblings.

I'm not so worried about Jill or Jessa's kids. (Well, I worry about Jessa's, but not that they'll be molested.) It's Jana and Jinger and all the other girls still in the home. They could end up being courted by a pedophile who will be able to get his wife to pump out dozens of kids and then have free access to them because daddy's lap is the only safe lap. And those kids will know nothing of good touch/bad touch or anything about their bodies or who to tell even if they did.

[imokit]

What sort of world do they live in that teaching little kids that they can't snuggle up on laps of big brothers/uncles cousins is ok?

They talk about sheltering children, but surely the 4 year old who seeks comfort where s/he feels comfortable regardless of the gender of the person. Is more sheltered and less sexually aware than the 4 year old trained to check gender of the person before sitting, and that their beloved male relatives aren't allowed to be sofas.

[bella8050]

How how how how how HOW, does it not occur to Jill or Jessa to think 'Hmmm. But maybe kids should be able to play hide and seek at will, without abuse being an issue. Now how does a parent make that happen?'

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

The "safeguards" was one of the worst things that came out of the Duggar interviews. The idea of Ben and Derick agreeing with that boggles my mind. Hopefully like most things Duggar it is just all talk and no action.

[Daisy4]

I have 3 older brothers and this whole thing makes me so sad. I have 100% trust in my brothers. I shared a room on and off with one until he was 13 (I was 8). When we didn't share a room, and I sometimes got scared at night, I would go to his room and sleep at the end of his bed. That same brother showed up when I was in a scary situation with an older guy as a teenager and made sure I was ok. One night in high school, I drank too much and my other brother stayed up all night to make sure I was ok.

Your brothers should be there for you, to look out for you. To help when you need it without you "getting in trouble" with your parents. They shouldn't fucking molest you! I wouldn't think twice about leaving my daughters with my brothers.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I believe that many of you agree with me on this point and some of you have brought it up, but it's been bothering me since the lie-a-thon happened and I just want to bring it up again. My biggest problem with the way the Duggars (especially Jill and Jessa) have responded to all of this is that they have been spreading misinformation about the nature of sexual abuse and how it should be dealt with.

The most upsetting thing for me was when Jill said that she plans on raising her children with the "safeguards" that her parents enforced.

There is so much wrong with that that I can't even begin to list all the issues. I wish that this would be discussed more. I hope they address it in the special, though it's doubtful.

I hope someone tells Jill on this special that these "safegurads" are fucking ridiculous and they will fuck up her children emotionally.

I hope someone tells Jill that there are women offenders, too.

And that locking their kids in their rooms at night so they don't molest each other is a bandaid solution.

And that you shouldn't lock your kids in their rooms to begin with, especially as a "safeguard" against sexual abuse.

I hope she finds out that "defrauding" your own brother or father or uncle isn't something little girls should be worried about, nor should they take responsibility for sexual abuse.

Sad as it is, the Duggars have a lot of fans who look up to them and will mirror their actions in their lives. I wouldn't be surprised if some unfortunate viewers started enforcing "safeguards" in their home because of the lie-a-thon.

Even if someone told her all those things, she's not going to accept it until she accepts that what happened to HER and her sisters was not handled correctly. Someone just flat out telling it as it is is going to put her on the defense and make her shut down. Abuse isn't something you come to terms with just because someone pointed it out to you.

[LainieR]

I'm planning on doing it as my grand finale of Duggar recaps. Hopefully the last time they ever curse national television with their countenance.

I feel like we really should take up some sort of collection for buzzard as a thank you for recapping this shit. I figure we owe her lots of booze.

[Eighth-of-eleven]

I feel like we really should take up some sort of collection for buzzard as a thank you for recapping this shit. I figure we owe her lots of booze.

Bless you Buzzard, I just will not be able to actually stomach the visual...raising my glass to you!

[TuringMachine]

I'm definitely dreading this way more than the fox interviews. At least when those came out I had hope that they would be called out on their lies (or that at least someone would correct Jill when she said this happens to two thirds of families :angry-banghead: ). But with this I can't see any way their participation could be positive.

[hennypenny]

It always makes me laugh and laugh that they say that dhs complimented michelle for using the safety precautions.

Most likely it went down like this:

dhs: "you need to have separate sleeping areas, alarms on doors, no children unsupervised with Josh."

michelle: "we already do that!"

dhs: "good, glad that's happening."

There was no compliment. The judge/dhs/attorneys were fucking disgusted with them brushing it under the rug for THREE YEARS. Letting Josh have access to those girls. Dhs was not saying "you're such a great mom for putting alarms on your doors and not let Josh have unsupervised!"

Fucking idiots. :lol:

[missegeno]

Shortly after Michelle shared that "little ones don't sit on big boys' laps," I saw this image: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a0/a9/f4/a0a9f46c361412b7354a2feb0acadea3.jpg

It was originally posted by TLC in a now deleted tweet (twitter.com/TLC/status/567776824688930816/photo/1).

Look at Jordyn and Josie both straddling one of Derick's legs. So on top of enacting ridiculous safeguards which Jill goes on TV to say she's going to follow, she actually doesn't follow them when it comes to her own siblings.

I'm not so worried about Jill or Jessa's kids. (Well, I worry about Jessa's, but not that they'll be molested.) It's Jana and Jinger and all the other girls still in the home. They could end up being courted by a pedophile who will be able to get his wife to pump out dozens of kids and then have free access to them because daddy's lap is the only safe lap. And those kids will know nothing of good touch/bad touch or anything about their bodies or who to tell even if they did.

They don't actually follow that rule, even with Josh. 40.media.tumblr.com/ d34d7609cdbd17987e61c5509f8c78d9/ tumblr_inline_ns89gg9v5b1t6ubty_1280.png

:o

edited to fix image not working