A Saturday With the Moodys (Maxwells)

[Odd1Out]

In the latest post about the Wichita conference- the pic about half-way down of the little girl in a bright pink coat, she has very sad eyes :(

[danvillebelle]

Thank you, thank you for the reports. The level of batshit craziness is just...unbelievable.

Years ago, I was a drinker of the Maxwell Kool-Aid. (While I was clinically depressed and had anxiety disorder and BPD, all untreated and un-medicated - shocker, not). I am so, so very thankful to God that I started thinking for myself, got help and dumped it all before my kids got too far into teendom.

My girls are involved at a great church and have close, wonderful friends that have enriched their lives (and mine!) so much. They will most likely be friends for life. They're in the YOUTH GROUP and sing in the YOUTH CHOIR, Stevehovah, and yet their faith has grown, not diminished. Well, I suppose you might consider their Supernatural fandom conversations a bit off the mark, but whatevah.

When I think that they could have missed out on those friendships because of my swallowing the crazy....:::::shudder:::::. Thank you Jesus, I saw the light. :pray:

[BullyJBG]

Thank you, thank you for the reports. The level of batshit craziness is just...unbelievable.

Years ago, I was a drinker of the Maxwell Kool-Aid. (While I was clinically depressed and had anxiety disorder and BPD, all untreated and un-medicated - shocker, not). I am so, so very thankful to God that I started thinking for myself, got help and dumped it all before my kids got too far into teendom.

My girls are involved at a great church and have close, wonderful friends that have enriched their lives (and mine!) so much. They will most likely be friends for life. They're in the YOUTH GROUP and sing in the YOUTH CHOIR, Stevehovah, and yet their faith has grown, not diminished. Well, I suppose you might consider their Supernatural fandom conversations a bit off the mark, but whatevah.

When I think that they could have missed out on those friendships because of my swallowing the crazy....:::::shudder:::::. Thank you Jesus, I saw the light. :pray:

Thanks for getting that song in my head, lol. Next person to go to their conference, I dare you to bring a guitar player, and sing that song in the foyer, wailing on the last line "PRAISE THE LORD I SAW THE LIGHT". Thanks to the ladies and their husbands for their good work.(of course now I wonder if they'll come to Manitoba, Canada again, and maybe Winnipeg next time?)

After reading this yesterday about the Bethany-at-the-grave-throwing-dirt-at-aunt story, I saw just that in my piano student who's about the same age. Except that when she threw something and was asked to apologize, she did, and asked to acknowledge what she did, and she did, and the root of the problem was made. But, clearly there is no place for a time-out at a gravesite except in the vehicle, where they MAY have tried to get at the root. Which probably was, she was restless, and her attention span is limited. But her saying twice "no it's too hard", maybe someone needed to talk with her about WHY is it too hard? What is she afraid of? Will Auntie not forgive her? Will she STILL be punished anyway?

I'm kinda disappointed Mr Allison never got to call Steve on his emotional manipulation.

Interestingly ironic; the emphasis on "no friends". Or, only friends of the "whole family"; if you don't have those, we wouldn't have Elissa, Anna-Marie or Melanie, right? And yet they're encouraged to stay and "fellowship"? Isn't that where these friendships start?

Interesting reading. And the 6 loads of laundry, yeah, no way can that happen in one day. Maybe over Melanie's whole pregnancy, or a week of bedrest, but not in one day.

[SPHASH]

Talitha may remember better, but it seemed as if it was just Teri, Bethany, and Anna. They were visiting multiple graves on July 4th, including Teri's father's grave.

July 4, Drew was born around that time so Melanie was in the hospital, Nate most likely with her.

[Hane]

Talitha and Allison, thank you so very much for taking one for the team. I only regret that sparkles and I were unable to attend the one in Connecticut a while back. (As I recall, she was away at a BBQ fest and I was rehearsing for a play in which I got to portray a nun, a lesbian lighting designer, et al.)

[usmcmom]

I noticed they aren't dressed alike in these most recent photos. Interesting, considering we recently discussed that very issue here at FJ. Either Steve has changed his ruling on that or they didn't have time to get the proper uniform for Elissa. It will be fun to see if, as time passes, they go back to the old way once Elissa has time to conform.

For the record, I liked the black and red theme.

[sparkles]

Talitha and Allison, thank you so very much for taking one for the team. I only regret that sparkles and I were unable to attend the one in Connecticut a while back. (As I recall, she was away at a BBQ fest and I was rehearsing for a play in which I got to portray a nun, a lesbian lighting designer, et al.)

Hane, I was just thinking about how we missed out! I do keep hoping they'll come back before Steve and Teri decide to pack it in because we should definitely try to go.

They've definitely worked their way into my consciousness though. Every time I'm in NYC, I always think about how they'd react to the normal goings-on. WWMD? Cry and pray probably.

And yes, it was the Big Apple BBQ Block Party, which I wouldn't miss even for the Maxwells.

Steve is an extremely dangerous man, far more so, I think than Michael Pearl who at least lets his kids have lives. Thank the FSM that Steve is too cowardly to venture out of the bubble he's created so his reach is very limited. He could do a LOT of damage.

[Hane]

Hane, I was just thinking about how we missed out! I do keep hoping they'll come back before Steve and Teri decide to pack it in because we should definitely try to go.

They've definitely worked their way into my consciousness though. Every time I'm in NYC, I always think about how they'd react to the normal goings-on. WWMD? Cry and pray probably.

And yes, it was the Big Apple BBQ Block Party, which I wouldn't miss even for the Maxwells.

Steve is an extremely dangerous man, far more so, I think than Michael Pearl who at least lets his kids have lives. Thank the FSM that Steve is too cowardly to venture out of the bubble he's created so his reach is very limited. He could do a LOT of damage.

Amen and amen. I kind of doubt that Maxhell will ever return to the Nutmeg State: PoorSarah's posts about the conference here were extremely lukewarm, as if she despaired of our relative disinclination to (figuratively) drop to our knees and blow Stevehovah.

As I may have posted previously (seniorbrain), Stevehovah is a toxic stew of engineerbrain* (trufax: I was married to one of this ilk for 15 years), Asperger-ish tendencies* (tonedeaf to normal human emotion and interaction), black/white thinking, white privilege, patriarchy, and religious fundamentalism.

*Please note that I am not talking about engineers or Asperger's folks as a class. Most engineers I know combine their methodical, logical tendencies with human-ness--and the two Asperger's friends I have are among the kindest, most open-minded, warmest people I know.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Steve's latest dads email tells men to take their wives away for some special time. He says he remembers YEARS AGO he took Terri away for a weekend alone with no kids and she wept with joy. Sounds like she needed a break!

[BullyJBG]

Now THAT part I agree with. And it sounds like the sisters/aunts are good at helping their brothers do that. One of the good things this family does. But, again, if siblings DID move away(like mine ALL live in other provinces, and one in the US), well, we have the grandparents, and what happens when they're too old to keep up with the kids? THIS is where friends come in handy. Where community things like church, or neighborhood things are good. Where couples can take turns looking after each other's kids so one can go on a special date.

Next, will they ever have ALL the grandchildren over at the same time so BOTH(and later all 3) couples can go on a double/triple date?

[Coco]

These fundies are obsessed with turning everything into a battle against sin with their kids. Most reasonable people would have quietly told Bethany that behavior wasn't appropriate, especially in that setting, and moved on. The "adults" in this situation escalated the whole thing and apparently caused a scene in a place where reverence and quiet is expected.

I agree with the others who have said let Bethany place the flag on the grave, then have her apologize as soon as they get in the car.

These people must win at all costs against their children. They don't care about time or place - they just care about the battle.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

That is exactly right. So much family strife over tiny things, being at odds instead of working together and trusting the kids. Why couldn't parents show kids they are on the same side, gently showing their kids how to love and serve instead of being bossy or mean. (oh that's right because the parental behavior is bossy and mean to beat out the sin). Kids learn by example more than by words. These parents make so many little things about guilt and sin instead of love and forgiveness and compassion.

Because they think the natural bent is to sin -- well, then just point out that sin hurts someone or something, and we have love instead of selfishness. No wonder some fundie kids rebel so terribly, it's always about beating their nature down instead of learning to turn issues into something constructive and healthy. They don't learn how to manage their behavior, they just learn to fear getting punished and how their parents tell them they are evil naturally. Instead of building a trust relationship with parents or with God, it's mostly about fearing consequences and trying to please someone who is angry.

[Toothfairy]

Steve's latest dads email tells men to take their wives away for some special time. He says he remembers YEARS AGO he took Terri away for a weekend alone with no kids and she wept with joy. Sounds like she needed a break!

How many years ago? And I can't imagine Steve doing that now

[usmcmom]

How many years ago? And I can't imagine Steve doing that now

Well, he can't do that now that the grandparents are deceased or elderly!! Who would watch the children?!? :lol: :lol:

[AllisonWndrland]

Thank you, Allison! I love insight about the Maxwells.

It saddens me that none of the girls has had a girlfriend they could just go to lunch with. Never, ever. That comes from a deep level of paranoia!

I've had that same thought. I can't imagine not having at least one person to just be a friend. I can't imagine what Sarah would do if given the opportunity to have a friend. Those smiling photos of women and girls surrounding Sarah at conferences are deceiving. To the casual observer, it may appear those are Sarah's friends. Watching interactions during the conference says otherwise.

The fear it takes to isolate your family to this extent is just ridiculous. And yes, Steve, despite the photo of you and Elissa speaking to the sole African-American family at the conference, I still believe at least part of your problem is race-based.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Well, he can't do that now that the grandparents are deceased or elderly!! Who would watch the children?!? :lol: :lol:

Yes, of course, you cant leave your 32 year old home alone without an adult present :pink-shock: What if she put her finger in a plug socket or stuck a fork in the toaster or something :P

Its sad the way the Maxwells treat their children like they are toddlers, yet at their age they were adults.

It is sad that none of the kids have friends :( Everyone needs friends :(

[blessalessi]

After reading this yesterday about the Bethany-at-the-grave-throwing-dirt-at-aunt story, I saw just that in my piano student who's about the same age. Except that when she threw something and was asked to apologize, she did, and asked to acknowledge what she did, and she did, and the root of the problem was made. But, clearly there is no place for a time-out at a gravesite except in the vehicle, where they MAY have tried to get at the root. Which probably was, she was restless, and her attention span is limited. But her saying twice "no it's too hard", maybe someone needed to talk with her about WHY is it too hard? What is she afraid of? Will Auntie not forgive her? Will she STILL be punished anyway?

"Too hard" sounds like the kind of response a child will have learned from an adult, knowing that it gets the desired outcome, without really understanding what it means. Like a lot of young kids will say "no, I'm busy" when asked to do something, because Mom or Dad have used the phrase to them a million times. :whistle:

B is second child in the family and gets Abigail's jobs passed down to her as Abigail takes on more of Melanie-On-Bedrest's jobs. I wouldn't be surprised if "too hard" is a response she has learned to use whenever she doesn't want to do something, because it is about the only justifiable reason that a person can get out of an allocated task in Maxhell.

"Bethany, the Lord has laid it on my heart that you should fold this laundry"

"No, I want to play" = Go straight to the If/Then chart and get a spanking

"Too Hard" = (possibly) OK, then this time Abigail will graciously and diligently help you until your servant skills grow as big as your Servant's Heart!

[Jana814]

How many years ago? And I can't imagine Steve doing that now

Neither can I imagine Steve doing this now.

[blessalessi]

Neither can I imagine Steve doing this now.

If he were still doing it now, he wouldn't have to refer back to a trip that they took years ago. :whistle:

[Arete]

If he were still doing it now, he wouldn't have to refer back to a trip that they took years ago. :whistle:

According to a blog post I read a few years ago, Steve and Terri go out to lunch or dinner weekly as part of what some may call a "date night". No childults. I think this is one of the subtle ways Steve has made Teri his obedient collaborator in the isolation and infantilization of their kids. Teri, like a lot of collaborators, gets better food and living conditions than her fellow prisoners. FFS, she even has a personal house servant/secretary in Sarah. What does she actually do anymore, other than tell Mary which workbook pages to complete? Gives me the chills when I think about how well and efficiently Steve plays his prisoners to keep his gulag running.

[Rebelwife]

In one of the conference pictures - the one with two random women at lunch - the woman on the right has a very defrauding slit in her denim frumper. :pink-shock:

[16strong]

Taking Teri out for date nights once/twice a month WITHOUT the kids is how Stevie can START to become a good husband. If the last time he remembers taking her out is a few years ago, and her reaction of relief didn't inspire him to do it more often, he has a lot of forgiveness to ask from his god. What an ass.

[salex]

Taking Teri out for date nights once/twice a month WITHOUT the kids is how Stevie can START to become a good husband. If the last time he remembers taking her out is a few years ago, and her reaction of relief didn't inspire him to do it more often, he has a lot of forgiveness to ask from his god. What an ass.

I suspect the datenights are so they can talk about it as part of their "how to have a good christian marriage/family" dog and pony. IT isn't as though they get joy out of anything else in their lives, why would going a couple of times a month to the local Sizzler be anything more than another block in the chore sheet/schedule?

I wonder if part of the reason they hold on so tightly to their offspring-- keep them in the house, with them always, within walking distance-- is because they--together and individually, loathe the idea of being alone just the two of them...

[Jana814]

Thank you to the 2 women who braved it and sat through a conference & giving us the information. What you all have both said has answered some questions I have had about the Maxwell's for years. A big being they don't want their kids or grand kids to just be kids.

[WonderingInWA]

Regarding the latest conference post:

"We prayed that husbands and wives would come together, and they did!". Ahem. That's usually the goal, but usually that's done in private. I can only imagine how interesting those noises were in a church sanctuary.

So glad Sarah gave the writing session. Yikes. Especially since later in her post she says "...we love to be apart of helping them meet each other". It's "a part", Sarah, not "apart". Let's see how long it takes Stevie to get that fixed.

I'd love to know what each of them (Sarah, especially) could talk about for 5 minutes that she's passionate about. Hmmmm.

John is smokin' hot in that photo of him alone playing the banjo. Just sayin'...

[usmcmom]

Regarding the latest conference post:

"We prayed that husbands and wives would come together, and they did!". Ahem. That's usually the goal, but usually that's done in private. I can only imagine how interesting those noises were in a church sanctuary.

So glad Sarah gave the writing session. Yikes. Especially since later in her post she says "...we love to be apart of helping them meet each other". It's "a part", Sarah, not "apart". Let's see how long it takes Stevie to get that fixed.

I'd love to know what each of them (Sarah, especially) could talk about for 5 minutes that she's passionate about. Hmmmm.

John is smokin' hot in that photo of him alone playing the banjo. Just sayin'...

Thank you for pointing out "apart" vs. "a part." Ack. It makes me stabby. Time for a basic grammar review at the Maxwell house.

And, yeah, John is indeed so very handsome. I hope he is a nice young man. In other words, nothing like his older brothers or father.