A Saturday With the Moodys (Maxwells)

[Arete]

Well, I guess Teri's speech answers any questions as to Nathan & Mel turning just a tiny bit "light". They are as hard core as Steve.

Sounds like Nathan and Melanie are just hardcore LAZY.

Teri's talk is essentially a distillation of the last 13 years of Mom's Corners. She has done Corners on each of those themes: scheduling, IF/THEN charts for consistent punishment, moms don't need "me" time and it isn't Biblical anyway, tell yourself your happy until you believe it, etc. No kidding, there really are Corners for each of those themes, complete with the same Bible verses she is quoting at these conferences. That woman is phoning her entire life in at this point.

[Eternalbluepearl]

So her entire speech seems to be... "you're a mom. It sucks.Get over it."

[Coco]

So her entire speech seems to be... "you're a mom. It sucks.Get over it."

or... it sucks until your oldest automaton is six and can do a grown woman's amount of work and then run to the relatives' down the road and make their supper too.

[Eternalbluepearl]

So slightly off topic...i was wondering today, have the Maxwell "kids" ever been to the movies? Do they go to the mall? Do the female Maxwells own cars? Could they have a pet if they wanted one? So many mysteries for one family. It boggles the mind.

[16strong]

The only good I see here is that Melanie isn't overly fertile and she is older, so there will not be too many more kids. Also, there are three older girls to do the housework, and only one boy child, so very few "dependents" that create extra work for the ones that have to do the cleaning and raising.

I always feel bad for the 4 older Duggar girls that have had to spend their lives taking care of and cleaning up after 15(!) other kids. That is a true crime.

[kpmom]

This also explains why Abby lost that cute grin several years ago and replaced it with the closed mouth, almost world weary smile she has now.

She's way older than her years.

[VodouDoll]

That thing about not letting little Bethany put a flag on her sister's grave because she wouldn't/couldn't apologize for horsing around beforehand is monsterous. She's so tiny. What an awful thing to deny a child in punishment for acting normally. If she really needed to say she was sorry, then have her do it after the cemetery at a less high-pressure, emotionally fraught moment. Poor B. I feel so sad for her.

And for Cinderella Abagail too. Teri Maxwell seriously thinks she's a great kid for skipping out on story time to clean the kitchen? That is terrible. They never should've allowed it. Folding all that laundry, using the oven without a grownup around? That poor child.

[formergothardite]

I'm all about letting kids help around the house and help cook, but my oldest is 10(almost 11) and I still don't let her use the oven without an adult supervising it. Having a six year old cook an entire meal using the oven? Hell no! That is an awful idea.

That Abigail would turn down reading time with Terrie so she could work in the kitchen just reflects on how god awful time with Grandma must be. This child would rather work than spend time with her Grandma.

My heart breaks for these poor children. :cry:

[VodouDoll]

I don't know why I find all of this so shocking but I do. They're such terrible people. What are Nathan and Melanie thinking? What must Mel's sisters think of how Abigail works all day? It's not going to get better either; Mel goes on bed rest every time she gets pregnant and Abby's workload is only going to increase as she gets older.

[Jana814]

Abigail is only 6, and she's cooking and cleaning that much? Poor thing. :cry:

Agree. Most 6 year olds r not allowed by the stove.

[Jana814]

Thanks so much for this information. This is soo wrong on so many levels.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I have a 6 year old. I would never ever allow her to cook by herself while I had a nap. That is far too much, and dangerous too! I also have as many kids as the Maxwells, and I don't think I have had 6 loads of laundry to fold either, not all at once! How often does Melanie do the laundry??? I wouldn't let my kid do it either.

All I expect her to do is keep her room clean, clean up her own messes (or at least help if it is something that needs more work that just picking it up or getting a paper towel to wipe it up-she wouldn't be able to use bleach or sweep up broken glass, lol), take her plate into the kitchen after she is finished eating, and make herself a drink or get a simple snack.

And yet I am a sinful, evil atheist lesbian, lol.

[quiversR4hunting]

I have a 6 year old. I would never ever allow her to cook by herself while I had a nap. That is far too much, and dangerous too! I also have as many kids as the Maxwells, and I don't think I have had 6 loads of laundry to fold either, not all at once! How often does Melanie do the laundry??? I wouldn't let my kid do it either.

All I expect her to do is keep her room clean, clean up her own messes (or at least help if it is something that needs more work that just picking it up or getting a paper towel to wipe it up-she wouldn't be able to use bleach or sweep up broken glass, lol), take her plate into the kitchen after she is finished eating, and make herself a drink or get a simple snack.

And yet I am a sinful, evil atheist lesbian, lol.

Agreed- I have a 10, 6 and 2 1/2. My 10 and 6 help fold laundry my 2 1/2 "helps" by finding her socks in the pile. My 10 year isn't allowed to cook without my hubs or me in the kitchen - same with my 6 year old. The older girls can get snacks for themselves and use the Keurig to make hot chocolate or hot cider. My 6 year old still needs a lot of guidance on cleaning up her room properly, etc. When I rest and the 2 older ones don't they get to have quite reading or tv time.

Like you Ilovejellybeans- I am sinful but instead of evil atheist lesbian, I'm an evil liberal Catholic that works full time and works on social justice issues.

[sparkles]

What I want to know is, if god didn't want children to actually BE children, why didn't he arrange it so that we'd be born as fully formed adults?

What a sad life.

[Talitha Cumi]

WHAT.

I KNOW RIGHT.

I texted Mr. Cumi during lunchtime: "I just learned that little ladies have little voices." He texted me back: "FINALLY." :lol:

[Talitha Cumi]

I have a 6 year old. I would never ever allow her to cook by herself while I had a nap. That is far too much, and dangerous too! I also have as many kids as the Maxwells, and I don't think I have had 6 loads of laundry to fold either, not all at once! How often does Melanie do the laundry??? I wouldn't let my kid do it either.

It's been a while now, but ISTR that Melanie was pregnant at the time, which is why she was napping a lot. As for six loads of laundry... :whistle: Mr. Cumi and I did at least that much over the weekend. I managed to fold it all in an hour, but I'm a grown woman. We are big slobs, though, and hadn't done laundry in like two months. I can't imagine Steve allowing that in any of his family, even the extended family.

[Talitha Cumi]

Sounds like Nathan and Melanie are just hardcore LAZY.

Teri's talk is essentially a distillation of the last 13 years of Mom's Corners. She has done Corners on each of those themes: scheduling, IF/THEN charts for consistent punishment, moms don't need "me" time and it isn't Biblical anyway, tell yourself your happy until you believe it, etc. No kidding, there really are Corners for each of those themes, complete with the same Bible verses she is quoting at these conferences. That woman is phoning her entire life in at this point.

Yeah, I was pretty sure I'd heard most of this here on FJ.

[salex]

That thing about not letting little Bethany put a flag on her sister's grave because she wouldn't/couldn't apologize for horsing around beforehand is monsterous. She's so tiny. What an awful thing to deny a child in punishment for acting normally. If she really needed to say she was sorry, then have her do it after the cemetery at a less high-pressure, emotionally fraught moment. Poor B. I feel so sad for her.

That particular apology seems like more of a power issue than anything the girl would need to apologize for-- and I'd say that if she declined to apologize, especially if she didn't get to put the flag out, then she was having a "you are not the boss of me" moment and she "won" the battle. I hope she was not beaten for it.

And for Cinderella Abagail too. Teri Maxwell seriously thinks she's a great kid for skipping out on story time to clean the kitchen? That is terrible. They never should've allowed it. Folding all that laundry, using the oven without a grownup around? That poor child.

This too looks to me like a way to have a small amount of control in her own life. She gets to be a little bit independent, even if it is while pushing a broom, where she can think her own thoughts and be alone (a rare treat in Maxhell, it would seem to me) instead of listening to someone read Summer with the Moodys again. (Is it wrong of me to imagine the Aunts using a sort of condescending sing song voice when reading to the Neices and Nephew?)

[AllisonWndrland]

Talitha, your synopsis of that session was pretty much what I got out of it, too. The story about Bethany made me ragey. I had to start texting my husband (who had skipped the manly men SUPERSONIC LEADERSHIP session to go sit in the car) to keep from yelling things in Teri's direction.

Yes, Melanie was pregnant and unwell in the clothes folding story and had to rest. I almost laughed aloud when Teri claimed there were six unfolded baskets of laundry sitting around the house. Didn't buy it, either.

I am about to type up my thoughts on the day...it takes much longer than you would think. My frustration and anger over their "teachings" keeps getting in the way. :evil:

Edited because I looked for the actual title of the men's session.

[AllisonWndrland]

How to Have an Awesome Day- In addition to what Talitha wrote, I essentially learned having an awesome day is all in my mind. I just need to believe my day will be awesome and BAM! AWESOMENESS WILL FOLLOW. That, and a massive schedule for each and every single minute of the day. At the start of this session, Teri describes her depression as overwhelming. She was “miserable†and “sad†all the time. She didn’t want to be with her children. So her solution was just to believe and schedule out their entire lives.

Yes. Staying positive is one way of dealing with tough situations. I don’t disagree that changing a mindset can be a tool for better living. However, I wanted to cry for the Teri of 30 years ago when she made those statements. To be so depressed and overwhelmed that she couldn’t stand to be around her children is horrifying. Their solution is even more horrifying. Dealing with depression is difficult; I can see how knowing what she and the kids were doing for each and every hour of the day would be helpful. She could focus on getting through each hour instead of focusing on the sadness. But that still leaves the depression hanging there, untreated and unaddressed. My husband was angry that Steve’s response was to alter Teri’s hormonal and mental states by having more children. Nothing fixes severe depression like those happy pregnancy hormones, amirite??? :roll:

Energized Families (or whatever they called it)- Steve rambled for nearly 40 minutes before he started making statements likening being overweight to being ungodly. Random scriptures about who knows what were thrown across the screen for everyone to squint at (HEY, STEVE- a font larger than 12 is absolutely necessary for projected presentations in very large rooms, you idiot!). He did rail on about having family businesses and not working for Satan for quite a while. He likes to use lawyers as the example of what’s wrong with not having a family business. Apparently, they’re churning out lawyers like cookies, y’all! And all of we lawyers are starving! There isn’t enough work for all of us!

Honestly, I was hungry, had a headache, and was exhausted from lack of sleep the night before. I was focusing on the attendees at the event while Steve babbled. To the couple sitting in the middle back pew (female half, you were wearing a turquoise fleece jacket and jeans), if you’re FJers, would you be opposed to admitting it via PM? I don’t mean that to sound stalker-y, either. You just happened to be the one couple we thought could be FJers. :) The one bright spot of this session was Steve trying to say either “travesty†or “tragedy†and instead saying “tradgestyâ€. Tradgesty is my new favorite word, by the way. The entire Energized Families session was a tradgesty.

[Justme]

How were the other attendees reacting? Did anybody look discussed? Were they "buying" this crap? Did you overhear any conversations?

[AllisonWndrland]

How were the other attendees reacting? Did anybody look discussed? Were they "buying" this crap? Did you overhear any conversations?

We had a great view of everyone in the sanctuary. The conference was well-attended, even with the cold weather. There were probably 70-90 people in attendance. I could see several ladies taking handwritten notes (and lots of notes, WTF!) and nodding along with Teri's session. The afternoon sessions were led by Steve, with the exception of the family panel discussion. There were still the note takers writing furiously. Others were nodding and laughing, but I have zero clue what was funny about Steve's presentations. When the family sang together at the end (that's what that blog photo of them holding hands actually is, them singing Trust and Obeeeeeyyyyyy), several people in the sanctuary joined in. Product sales seemed steady throughout but were especially brisk at the end of the day. Given the product sales and note-taking, I'm guessing there are many children currently wearing new ChorePacks in the Wichita metro.

I did overhear a few conversations. Most of them were moms discussing which products to purchase or asking questions about how to access ScheduleBreeze with their MOTH codes. I saw older children pacing with babies in the back of the sanctuary, as their mothers (there were several of these very large QF-type families with very small children) were holding still smaller babies on their laps.

[quiversR4hunting]

Tradgesty is my new favorite word, by the way. The entire Energized Families session was a tradgesty.

:lol: OMG that made me laugh! It's now my new favorite word too.

Thanks to both of you for sitting through all of this!

[Jana814]

Thank you so much for this information!! It's scary to me that people would buy this shit!!

[Jana814]

So slightly off topic...i was wondering today, have the Maxwell "kids" ever been to the movies? Do they go to the mall? Do the female Maxwells own cars? Could they have a pet if they wanted one? So many mysteries for one family. It boggles the mind.

I don't think that they EVER have been to a movie. Not sure about the mall or about the cars.