Jessa Duggar's Courtship - Part 3

[VixenToast]

Thanks Seamstress! I never thought about it that way. Older, young guys might not want to parade around on TV and attend anti-abortion rallies. But...it's gotta be hard to turn down TLC funds :? Passing up a pretty virgin and some special income, just because you don't want to deal with the parents and cameras. Well, that's hard for me to believe as well :think:

Oh it's a great deal for Ben. He get fame, money, AND he gets to stick it in her. She's just gunna wake up one day with a passel of baby Benessa's and a few BenBobs and wonder what's in it for her.

Let's hope Benny boy here isn't a huge douche and loves her for more than her sexiness, fame, $. Cuz forever is a long time and this gravy train is gunna end at some point

And does anyone else get a giggle fit wondering if their scripture exchanges included...

Ben: Song of Solomon 4:1-8

Jessa: omigosh how sweet! Daddy wanted me to remind you of genesis 34 ;) ttyl babe gotta pack daddy's suitcase for his trip

[socuteyoullpuke]

random, but i have just come out of lurkdom lol

I find it interesting that such traditional people with strict gender roles would allow their daughter to date someone younger than her. doesn't that kind of mess up the authority thing? I definitely dont see anything wrong with it at all... but im from a very traditional, ethnic culture that's patriarchal and a woman dating a man younger than her is a big no-no with my family so im just surprised its not the same with the duggars

Their "traditional" and strict gender roles also say that if a female's father dies before she is married than the authority over her, previously held by her father, is transferred to her brother, even if the brother is younger than her. It's not about age or maturity so much as it's about "god given" authority.

[JellyHope]

Or better (No, let's be honest. Worse. Definitely worse) yet, they can have a picture made of all three couples kissing together. :ew:

I need a "gag me" smiley. 'Ew' is no longer cutting it. Urgh.

Yes! Thank you! I've been needing that for a while. Especially with a spoon.

[acheronbeach]

random, but i have just come out of lurkdom lol

I find it interesting that such traditional people with strict gender roles would allow their daughter to date someone younger than her. doesn't that kind of mess up the authority thing? I definitely dont see anything wrong with it at all... but im from a very traditional, ethnic culture that's patriarchal and a woman dating a man younger than her is a big no-no with my family so im just surprised its not the same with the duggars

There have been a couple of big-time fundie marriages with young guy + older woman - Taylor Tsantles (17) and Blair Brown (23) come to mind.

The boy's age doesn't matter, it just matters that he's male. We've seen fundie families without fathers where the young son is the headship over his mother.

[RosyDaisy]

The boy's age doesn't matter, it just matters that he's male. We've seen fundie families without fathers where the young son is the headship over his mother.

Let me get this straight. A mother can be under her young son's authority? That's more fucked up than Grandma Duggar being under JB's authority.

[FloraKitty35]

Let me get this straight. A mother can be under her young son's authority? That's more fucked up than Grandma Duggar being under JB's authority.

Yes, she can.

[lizziesmom]

Dear rest of Duggar family:

This is NOT your courtship or engagement. YOU'RE not the one that will be married to Ben. YOU'RE not the one that will have to live with him or reproduce with him. It's not YOUR relationship. Back off and butt out.

The way Boob and Mullet are leghumping this guy suggests they want to climb in bed with the two of them for a foursome straight after the wedding. Just...creepy. And gross, very gross. :ew:

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't everyone involved in Anna and Josh's courtship too?

[sunshine]

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't everyone involved in Anna and Josh's courtship too?

Yes. It was not until they were engaged did they have private conversations, according to the Duggar's book.

[louisa05]

There have been a couple of big-time fundie marriages with young guy + older woman - Taylor Tsantles (17) and Blair Brown (23) come to mind.

The boy's age doesn't matter, it just matters that he's male. We've seen fundie families without fathers where the young son is the headship over his mother.

I taught at an evangelical Christian school where some more right-wing parents would constantly insist to the administration that female teachers should not be allowed to discipline male students after 6th or 7th grade. I regularly had male students try to "exercise authority" in my classroom by disputing assignments or such things on behalf of the class and tell me that I had to listen to them because of gender. When a principal resigned in the middle of a school year and a female assistant took over the job, a few families pulled their sons out as they felt she could not be the final authority over them. To keep parents happy, the male athletic director was made assistant principal in order to handle discipline with male high school students rather than the principal. Of course, that seriously undermined her authority in the school.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Let me get this straight. A mother can be under her young son's authority? That's more fucked up than Grandma Duggar being under JB's authority.

Fucked up it may be, but historically quite the norm, unfortunately.

[Dandruff]

Yes, she can.

How is a single mom supposed to properly raise a small boy who has authority over her? Don't tell him? Ask permission to discipline him? Negotiate? This sounds all kinds of messed up.

[lilith]

How is a single mom supposed to properly raise a small boy who has authority over her? Don't tell him? Ask permission to discipline him? Negotiate? This sounds all kinds of messed up.

Single mother? She's either a godly widow who will soon remarry, in which case a brother or pastor can be her temporary headship, or she's a godless whore, in which case her son is already damned.

[artdecades]

random, but i have just come out of lurkdom lol

I find it interesting that such traditional people with strict gender roles would allow their daughter to date someone younger than her. doesn't that kind of mess up the authority thing? I definitely dont see anything wrong with it at all... but im from a very traditional, ethnic culture that's patriarchal and a woman dating a man younger than her is a big no-no with my family so im just surprised its not the same with the duggars

You know, I have thought quite a bit about this as well. Not just Jessa and Ben, but there are a lot of fundie families like this. Martha Morton's fiance is a few years younger than her, for instance. Of course there is Blair Brown who married a 17 year old when she was well into her twenties.

I think that this culture infantilizes women so much that even when they are women they are seen as little girls. Males, on the other hand, are considered men at 18 and must be able to provide for themselves (though they still live at home with mommy and daddy). I think this contributes to how women and men pair up. At 18, a male is ready to take a mate, but at the same age a girl is still under the authority of her father who isn't ready to let her go. Its all very messed up.

[precious_one]

My son is 18 and a senior in high school. The thought of him getting married makes me laugh. Even though he is responsible he still needs to be reminded when to take out the garbage and sometimes to wash his sheets. There is no way my son could even support himself let alone a wife. Where I live 2 people making minimum wage would still not be able to live on their own. It would take both incomes just to pay rent and that is in a low rent area.

[Californiacicle]

I taught at an evangelical Christian school where some more right-wing parents would constantly insist to the administration that female teachers should not be allowed to discipline male students after 6th or 7th grade. I regularly had male students try to "exercise authority" in my classroom by disputing assignments or such things on behalf of the class and tell me that I had to listen to them because of gender. When a principal resigned in the middle of a school year and a female assistant took over the job, a few families pulled their sons out as they felt she could not be the final authority over them. To keep parents happy, the male athletic director was made assistant principal in order to handle discipline with male high school students rather than the principal. Of course, that seriously undermined her authority in the school.

Seriously? Gross.....

[sparrow]

I just perused Ben's Facebook page. He seems awfully... intense...

[lizziesmom]

Most 18 year old boys are intense. They generally know everything and are not shy about sharing their opinions. Ben should fit right in with his soon to be boob in law. Both seem to crave media attention. Poor Jessa.

[louisa05]

Most 18 year old boys are intense. They generally know everything and are not shy about sharing their opinions. Ben should fit right in with his soon to be boob in law. Both seem to crave media attention. Poor Jessa.

The difference being that in normal society that quality is not considered a virtue. :roll:

[FloraKitty35]

You know, I have thought quite a bit about this as well. Not just Jessa and Ben, but there are a lot of fundie families like this. Martha Morton's fiance is a few years younger than her, for instance. Of course there is Blair Brown who married a 17 year old when she was well into her twenties.

I think that this culture infantilizes women so much that even when they are women they are seen as little girls. Males, on the other hand, are considered men at 18 and must be able to provide for themselves (though they still live at home with mommy and daddy). I think this contributes to how women and men pair up. At 18, a male is ready to take a mate, but at the same age a girl is still under the authority of her father who isn't ready to let her go. Its all very messed up.

If I recall the FLDS and fundamentalist mormons, the age of reason for males is 8 years old.

[lizziesmom]

I was just on the Duggar website and Ben's picture is up along with Jessa. I think marriage is a foregone conclusion.

[Coconut Flan]

Could you pin it down a little about where on their website it is, please? Thanks.

[scc12]

I hope they wait till Ben is at least 20,but due to the ratings it would get,I'm not counting on it.

I don't think JB has a problem with it,as long as HE gets to control the purse strings,at least for awhile.That is jmo though.

[HereticHick]

Do you think Ben will be paraded at any of the book signings? Perhaps the one in Arkansas?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I was just on the Duggar website and Ben's picture is up along with Jessa. I think marriage is a foregone conclusion.

Courtship is only for marriage. The girl, theoretically can back out, but the guy cannot unless he learns something that makes her "unsuitable" as a wife. They will marry or it wouldn't be on t.v. Unless, of course, Jim-Bob thinks he will get better ratings and kudos for letting her out of it, but my money is on another big Duggar-Bates wedding in a Mega Church with the M-kids as ring bearers and flower girls. Then like I've said before we'll be choked with Michelle being "wise" about pregnancy and motherhood, the sisters will deliver the baby and the parents will gush about how they'd never have made it without all the wise counsel..........

[Mela99]

Do you think Ben will be paraded at any of the book signings? Perhaps the one in Arkansas?

Only after they have announced their engagement. And he can hand out abortion pamphlets.