Jessa Duggar's Courtship - Part 3

[lizziesmom]

The saddest thing about this courtship through these 56 year old eyes is that Jessa sees Ben as a way out. She's been too indoctrinated and is too young to see all the red flags that keep popping up. Both are too young to marry IMO but Ben especially. Who is going to rein in that arrogance and help him become a man instead of a know it all?

[lillybeth]

*Jessa grabs Ben's chin*

"You say No thank you"

[lillybeth]

I still have hope for Jessa after her reaction towards her mother when they were preparing for the flea market. It seems Jessa doesn't completely let her headship/guardians/what have you walk totally all over her. Here's to hoping she does the same with Ben.

[bal maiden]

umm, that was hardly her 'yelling' at a kid...

[FloraKitty35]

That boy (Ben) just reeks of smug little shithead. If he wants to pack heat, I hope he shoots his cock off.

[gustava]

That boy (Ben) just reeks of smug little shithead. If he wants to pack heat, I hope he shoots his cock off.

He'd have to use a magnifying glass......

[SpeakNow]

umm, that was hardly her 'yelling' at a kid...

I agree

[Onomatopoetikon]

umm, that was hardly her 'yelling' at a kid...

Yeah, agreed. That was nothing.

[FloraKitty35]

He'd have to use a magnifying glass......

:lol:

[snickerz]

Sure looks like an engagement pic to me.

[Firiel]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOvY79fO0k0

"Duggars Snowed In"

around the 2:20 mark

If that was yelling, then I must be Debi Pearl. There were times when I reacted worse than that during a tough day as a nanny for TWO kids, not six.

She literally didn't even raise her voice...

*goes off to get a hysterectomy because I am clearly not kind enough to ever raise children*

[mausi]

Sure looks like an engagement pic to me.

:shock:

It looks like a scene from Jurassic Park to me!

[Trynn]

It doesn't always have to be a raises voice for it to be yelling/snapping what have you.

[Firiel]

Oh, I agree it doesn't have to be raised voices for it to indicate frustration/be not the best way to deal with things. But honestly, I thought she did a decent job. The only thing that was problematic in that interaction to me was that she grabbed her chin. However, it wasn't done harshly or aggressively (that I could tell), and it looked like it was just to ensure eye contact.

TO ME... it just looked like she was doing a million things because she's teaching five or six kids, most at different grade levels, and wanted to make eye contact quickly (I agree with making eye contact with offering a correction, especially for a child that young) and move on. She probably should have taken the extra ten seconds to tap her on the shoulder, say "Look at me," and then tell her to say "No thank you."

But when I was nannying, one day at lunch, the girls were complaining about it being hot when it was a perfectly reasonable temperature and I was all huffy and mad because I had just laid out lunch on the picnic table and I said, "Well fine. We'll go sit somewhere else then" like a pissy, petulant child. It was way worse than what happened here. And it wasn't any worse than I saw their parents react at times when the parents were busy and the kids were being demanding.

She's a teenager who is teaching six kids-- why are we holding her to a higher standard than we hold ourselves or other non-fundies (unless there are people here who never get remotely frustrated at kids, in which case-- good on you [seriously!])?

[nellautumngirl]

I'm not BLAMING Jessa for getting frustrated and acting like this, I just noticed it on two or three occasions, especially with Jordyn, whom I always feel protective of (as we all know, incredibly sweet and undemanding child). I could never be stern and harsh to a child like Jordyn, but I don't blame Jessa for it, she doesn't seem to like children very much. On the other hand, I could see myself snapping with the howler boys, they seriously need to learn some manners though.

[Firiel]

I'm not BLAMING Jessa for getting frustrated and acting like this, I just noticed it on two or three occasions, especially with Jordyn, whom I always feel protective of (as we all know, incredibly sweet and undemanding child). I could never be stern and harsh to a child like Jordyn, but I don't blame Jessa for it, she doesn't seem to like children very much. On the other hand, I could see myself snapping with the howler boys, they seriously need to learn some manners though.

Stern does not equal harsh. Jessa was talking to Jordyn in a normal voice in this instance. (I don't watch the show regularly, so I can't say anything about the other instances.) I think it's good for young children to be spoken to like adults (in regards to tone) and not like babies or pets. We can't snark on Michelle for using baby talk all the time and then snark on Jessa for not using baby talk. It was just a quick reminder to say "no thank you" instead of "no." I don't know about Jessa's interactions with Jordyn outside of this instance.

P.S. My niece is named Jordyn Grace, so I'm inclinde to like Jordyn too! :)

[nellautumngirl]

Stern does not equal harsh. Jessa was talking to Jordyn in a normal voice in this instance. (I don't watch the show regularly, so I can't say anything about the other instances.) I think it's good for young children to be spoken to like adults (in regards to tone) and not like babies or pets. We can't snark on Michelle for using baby talk all the time and then snark on Jessa for not using baby talk. It was just a quick reminder to say "no thank you" instead of "no." I don't know about Jessa's interactions with Jordyn outside of this instance.

P.S. My niece is named Jordyn Grace, so I'm inclinde to like Jordyn too! :)

That's cool, and I like the name! :D

You're right, in this instance it was nothing, I might be projecting because I remember her being harsh to the little ones another time.

[formergothardite]

I guess the reason not to wait longer is that if they know he is the one, then it is not going to change a year or two years. The bigger concern is the women are doomed to married their father. JB doesn't really listen to his wife. So, there you go.

Jim Bob "knows" he is the one. Jessa can barely know him. Their "get to know you" stage will be after they get married and if they end up not liking them they are screwed. I can't understand why any thinking person would think courtship is a good idea.

[nausicaa]

Jim Bob "knows" he is the one. Jessa can barely know him. Their "get to know you" stage will be after they get married and if they end up not liking them they are screwed. I can't understand why any thinking person would think courtship is a good idea.

I have never understood why the religious movements that emphasize the permanence of marriage the most (conservative Christianity, Latter-Day Saints) tend to have the shortest, most surface courtships (and never a mention of pre-marital counseling anywhere). Shouldn't they be the ones dating for years on end while we secular heathens just jump into it?

I had someone explain it once to me that dating for too long is a sign that one is not trusting God. And of course they want to avoid any chance of premarital sex. But I just feel like it is a recipe for disaster and selfish on the part of the parents who push it while knowing the realities of marriage.

[formergothardite]

I have never understood why the religious movements that emphasize the permanence of marriage the most (conservative Christianity, Latter-Day Saints) tend to have the shortest, most surface courtships (and never a mention of pre-marital counseling anywhere). Shouldn't they be the ones dating for years on end while we secular heathens just jump into it?

I had someone explain it once to me that dating for too long is a sign that one is not trusting God. And of course they want to avoid any chance of premarital sex. But I just feel like it is a recipe for disaster and selfish on the part of the parents who push it while knowing the realities of marriage.

I think a lot of it is about control. They don't want to give their children to freedom to get to know someone and decide on their own if they want to spend their life with them, the parents want to decide for them. I think all these fundie parents are also deeply afraid of finding out that their kids don't actually believe what the parents have told them to believe and if they don't micromanage their lives the kids might start making decisions that the parents don't agree with like sex before marriage or living with someone before marriage, or for the Duggars, just kissing before marriage.

[louisa05]

They also have convinced themselves that any two people can make a marriage work if they believe the same thing and follow the gender roles exactly. Even in fundy-lite/evangelical world I heard sermons directed at teens about how compatibility is not even a real factor in marriage and if you think it is, you are just headed for divorce before you even get married.

And if it isn't working, it is because one or both of you are doing it wrong. In hard core fundy world, the wife is doing it wrong. In fundy-lite/evangelical world, it is more likely to be both.

[singsingsing]

I think Jessa is engaged. Go to the Duggar Family Blog and watch the interview the girls gave today. The interviewer asks if there is any engagement news. They all turn and stare at Jessa, and she smiles and says to watch the season starting tonight.

[Earthshine]

Jeez...that interview on the Duggar Blog...Jana gets a question and starts to answer and Jill interrupts her! My god woman! Let Jana talk!

[Meghann]

A double date... with his parents! Jessa Duggar and 'courting companion' Ben are quizzed about their commitment to each other in season premiere

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... miere.html

[Ralar]

"Well, me and Jessa have been texting for a while, I was wondering if we could [essentially get engaged]." #Duggars #19Kids

http://twitter.com/lolageek/status/451163510786236416