Maxwell 58: What Will Anna Do? Plus Anna Marie Gives Birth

[Xan]

The family might be the opposite of what it was three years ago but Steve isn't.  I think the majority of the family moved on without him.  He couldn't very well hold the daughters hostage.  They were all adults and had the support of the minister and probably most of their brothers.  

I think the girls presented him with a fait accompli.  They already had things lined up and reasons for leaving.  My feeling is that Steve is still sulking and uses his weekly columns to vent.  He could have congratulated his daughters and remarked on how proud he was of them or how much he liked his new sons-in-law.  He could have been a little bit gracious.  Apparently, that was too much to hope for.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I know Steve and Jim Bob are friends. And they are both in similar circumstances. They both have a lot of grown children and they both have daughters going against how they were raised. And they can’t do shit about it. Yet they are both probably quite pissed. I wonder if they ever commiserate. Lol. I would love to be a fly on that wall. 

[Black Aliss]

I can't help thinking how much better a position both Sarah (when she was living in the fathership) and Anna are/were compared to Renee Rodrigues. They had not-terrible educations and some marketable skills; heck Anna could have gotten herself into a building trades apprenticeship program if she'd wanted to and Sarah could do office work. What can Renee do? Work as a nanny, maybe, but how long would she last in a position if she used corporal punishment on her charges? Renee's only hope is if she can find that little tin box where David and Jill keep their cash love offerings, and run with it. Except I don't think she'd know where to run.

[MamaJunebug]

Just been blue-skying while I’m staying quiet with a friend in post-op recovery at home 

Thought: Joe Maxwell, previously known as “Smug Joe” on FJ, had a goodly amount of Teh Smug wiped off his face when his first fiancée did a runner.  He recovered -of course, he’s a Manmaxwell - and married and had a daughter. 

He had been raised to respect his mothers (Teri & Sarah) and to expect his eventual wife’s obedience to his benign rule. So he was less a woman-hater than smug about the fair sex. When he saw that helpless female baby who was his own, he felt the wave of protectiveness along with a resolve that this child would be respected, goshdarnit! 
 

And I like to imagine that this caused him to see AnnaAndMary as well as Sarah through a new lens.  Should they continue to drudge along in life as Steve’s voiceless extras? He wouldn’t want that for his daughter. Why should his hood-hearted, companionable sisters have to accept that?

Combine that with John’s exposure to the farm family Bontrager.  As someone once observed, people in farming and in business for themselves and in rural areas don’t have the luxury of choosing help based on gender. If a kid can physically do a job, gender matters not at all. Chrlsy’s mom does not appear meek like Teri. 
 

Then Jesse. Talented at guitar and forbidden from it because Steve Said So. He of all of them had more than an inkling of what his sisters were enduring, forced into their pigeonholes. 
 

Nathan’s wife has a sister who’s making a pretty decent living as a local singer-songwriter in Nashville, TN and while she wears middy blouses she’s no harlot. Plus see above about Nate gathering all those daughters. 
 

I hsve a possibly romanticized Story in my mind about How The Maxgals Blossomed With Maxguys’ Help (Except Christopher).

It’s apocryphal but it makes me happy to think about it! 

[GreenBeans]

On 9/11/2023 at 1:46 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I have a feeling judging is his favorite past time. 

Can we work “judging is his favorite past time” into a thread title, pretty please?

[NoseyNellie]

On 9/3/2023 at 12:20 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

More fun at college. 

Girl has some *guns* on her!  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Sorry ladies. I was rooting for ABC. 

[Bethy]

On 9/15/2023 at 9:22 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sorry ladies. I was rooting for ABC. 

Those shorts...or are they skirts? Can't even tell. To be clear, I've never understood why girls' volleyball teams have to wear spandex that barely covers their underwear while boys' teams can play in regular shorts just fine, but these uniforms are seriously next level fundie. I snooped around on the Crown page and it looks like this is their only sport for girls. And also all the pics on the Crown site are taken very specifically to show ONLY the Crown players. Guess all the other colleges they play are too immodest. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

Those shorts...or are they skirts? Can't even tell. To be clear, I've never understood why girls' volleyball teams have to wear spandex that barely covers their underwear while boys' teams can play in regular shorts just fine, but these uniforms are seriously next level fundie. I snooped around on the Crown page and it looks like this is their only sport for girls. And also all the pics on the Crown site are taken very specifically to show ONLY the Crown players. Guess all the other colleges they play are too immodest. 

Yes, they are very large long shorts. And then knee pads cover their knees. I’m just amazed they aren’t made to wear skirts to their knees over leggings. ABC wears shorts to their mid thigh. I personally think it would make sense for all men and women to wear similar shorts. We all have legs. We all have knees. So if everyone wore shorts mid thigh I figure that would make sense. 

Edited September 17, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I had no idea that a bare knee could cause a fella to stumble in lust.  

I well remember the extreme Pentecostal girls in HS gym class. They wore mid-calf skirts safety pinned at the hem (bottom middle) and then about 6-8 inches up between their legs  The skirt then sort of looked like a bloomer. They looked ungainly and weird and if the pin became unclasped many a girl yelped in pain.

But at least they weren't wearing those ungodly lust inducing mid-thigh shorts like the rest of us.*

 

*Girls' gym clothes back in the day were not lust inducing At. All.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I had no idea that a bare knee could cause a fella to stumble in lust.  

I well remember the extreme Pentecostal girls in HS gym class. They wore mid-calf skirts safety pinned at the hem (bottom middle) and then about 6-8 inches up between their legs  The skirt then sort of looked like a bloomer. They looked ungainly and weird and if the pin became unclasped many a girl yelped in pain.

But at least they weren't wearing those ungodly lust inducing mid-thigh shorts like the rest of us.*

 

*Girls' gym clothes back in the day were not lust inducing At. All.

I’m surprised they weren’t made to wear culottes. I hope those never make a comeback. 

[SassyPants]

I always thought that the skirts, dresses, fully clad swimming attire was less modest depending on the activity one was doing. I am sure more people gawked at the Duggars swimming in dresses and jeans than they would at a woman swimming in a modest, 1 piece bathing suit. Same goes for riding horses and bikes or skydiving in dresses. Lots more people focusing on the clothing vs the countenance when the clothing is odd (or unsafe) for the activity in which the wearer is participating.

[Bethy]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m surprised they weren’t made to wear culottes. I hope those never make a comeback. 

I remember reading about some fairly-fundie college where the guys weren't allowed to wear shorts outside of the gym and girls weren't allowed to wear pants outside the gym. This took place a few years back when long baggy gym shorts for guys were the norm (and a lot of girls wore them too, especially in places where soffe and spandex weren't allowed.) Apparently, if they had sports practices right before dinner, the guys would have to put on their warmup pants to go into the cafeteria, because shorts weren't allowed, but the girls would have to take off their warmup pants because their baggy gym shorts counted as clothes but pants for girls were not allowed. It made less than no sense 🤦🏼‍♀️

[molecule]

The real-life story of how the Maxwell girls found their freedom would make a great wrap-up for the Moody series.

[Loveday]

11 minutes ago, molecule said:

The real-life story of how the Maxwell girls found their freedom would make a great wrap-up for the Moody series.

I'd buy that book in a heartbeat!

[Alisamer]

On 9/11/2023 at 1:02 PM, hoipolloi said:

True, but why then is Steve still pumping out all of the hate & judgement in his weekly columns? Why havenʻt we read one word from him about their daughtersʻ achievements and marriages?

Could Steve be like some in fundie-world who privately do not practice what they publicly tell others to do? Perhaps, but there is nothing to indicate that he doesn't believe what he's saying.

I tend to think Steve is one to believe his own hype. It's one of the reasons I think it'd be interesting (in a train wreck sort of way) to see him and Lori Alexander stuck in a room together for a few hours - they say much of the same sort of things, and are both miserable anti-fun monsters. But Steve likely believes what he says, and follows his own rules. Lori does whatever she wants, being a "godly older woman" and then proclaims her drivel for other people to follow. Steve drug his whole family into his "fun will send you to hell" delusions, while Lori conveniently decided to be that way AFTER her kids were mostly grown and out of the house and very little of her proclamations actually affect her at all. 

Lori is very "do as I say, not as I do" but I get the impression Steve follows his own rules for the most part. He's probably constantly weeping about his children's "rebellion" all while Lori sits and doesn't seem to notice at least one of her daughters is the opposite of most of her proclamations. 

On 9/11/2023 at 1:11 PM, Xan said:

The family might be the opposite of what it was three years ago but Steve isn't.  I think the majority of the family moved on without him.  He couldn't very well hold the daughters hostage.  They were all adults and had the support of the minister and probably most of their brothers.  

I think the girls presented him with a fait accompli.  They already had things lined up and reasons for leaving.  My feeling is that Steve is still sulking and uses his weekly columns to vent.  He could have congratulated his daughters and remarked on how proud he was of them or how much he liked his new sons-in-law.  He could have been a little bit gracious.  Apparently, that was too much to hope for.

I agree, I think Steve regrets the family attending a church he's not in charge of, because he's lost a lot of his control. If a pastor, the spiritual leader of the church, who is presumably at least minimally educated about and has studied the Bible thinks it's perfectly fine for people to do "fun" things and for girls to go to college... that's huge leverage for the girls to have used if they wanted. Steve "pastored" his little church of the elderly plus family for a while, but he's not a real "pastor" so he can grump all he wants but going against the authority of the church might be a step too far... allowing the girls a bit of freedom by essentially "going over his head" to a higher church authority.

Teri even seems to be doing a little more now, participating in the church. And I'd bet she's also glad to have the girls making forward progress on their lives. As much as it seems like she probably appreciated having the live-in help, she seems introverted enough to probably appreciate having the house be quieter and calmer without having to deal with the almighty schedule for the girls, Steve, and herself. 

11 hours ago, Loveday said:

I'd buy that book in a heartbeat!

I'd be interested in reading it. They really did seem to go from "Fun = hell because Steve says so" to a sort of radio silence, followed by "Steve clearly has lost control somehow because OMG girls in college, Sarah living alone and online dating, girls wearing pants, etc."

And yeah, I know, the pants thing isn't a big deal, isn't a sign of moving away from fundie-ism, etc. I know. But we're talking about Steve "weeps about cleavage" and "contrasting buttons are eye-traps" and "takes the kids to the airport to judge other people's clothing" and "bitches and moans about the neighbor swimming in her own backyard pool" Maxwell here. The one whose daughter stayed home until she was 40, living like a teenager until the very end. The one who just a couple weeks ago declared that "fun" is "not excellent" and doesn't glorify God. Who is still exhorting "dads" to follow his preferences to make sure their children grow up to be proper "godly" people. The Steve who pulled his sons out of sports, made his kids (and wife!) give up anytihng they actually showed enjoyment in doing, decried youth groups in churches, and refused to call his vacation a vacation, lest someone think it might be actual "fun" and therefore "not godly". 

And here his daughters are, in shorts and jeans, playing sports, in mixed groups, wearing T-shirts with logos and words across the chest, dating, 2 of them married, living life, and clearly having lots and lots of fun. While Steve is still sending out his emails exhorting dads to avoid "fun" as something that might tempt their children to sin. 

[SassyPants]

Steve needs to get some help. At least his daughters are all young enough to live happy, healthy fulfilling lives. Steve is wallowing in negativity, hate and judgement. What a horrible way to exist.

[MamaJunebug]

On 9/18/2023 at 9:53 AM, SassyPants said:

Steve needs to get some help. At least his daughters are all young enough to live happy, healthy fulfilling lives. Steve is wallowing in negativity, hate and judgement. What a horrible way to exist.

He’s not gonna get help.  I’ll bet $100. In his mind he’s right.  End of ends. 

[theologygeek]

Chelsy made a blog post.  Her brother got married.  Sarah was the photographer.  She looks amazing.  I still can't get over the difference from a few years ago.  The Bontrager family grew.  More babies.  Chelsy and John really do make gorgeous kids though.  

[SPHASH]

19 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

Chelsy made a blog post.  Her brother got married.  Sarah was the photographer.  She looks amazing.  I still can't get over the difference from a few years ago.  The Bontrager family grew.  More babies.  Chelsy and John really do make gorgeous kids though.  

Sarah looks so happy.  And her top!  Hope Steve is shitting a brick.

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by SPHASH

[Jana814]

Love that Sarah looks so happy. 

[usmcmom]

Sarah looks wonderful. 

Axton and Elliot look adorable in their wedding clothes and they seemed to be having great fun with those suspenders. 
 

Madeline is a beautiful little girl and looked so sweet in her pale green dress. 
 

I was surprised to see Madeline is forward facing in her carseat.  She is pretty small and is she even two yet?  Also, I think her carseat clip needs to be raised. Yes, we have been given rigorously carseat instructions for driving with our grandson and that is just fine with  me  

Chelsey said she thinks Walmart clothes are poor quality. I have found just the opposite. My daughter and I buy lots of cute things for ourselves and my grandson at Walmart and have always been very pleased with them. 
 

I did enjoy that post and am glad Chelsy took the time to make it. 

[GreenBeans]

I’ve been looking around Chelsy’s blog and found a link to Christopher Maxwell’s photographer website. I know it has been discussed here before, but I can’t remember that this has always been on there (when you scroll to the very bottom here https://christophermaxwell.com😞

“85%

Of my couples share 
their very first kiss at the marriage altar

1999

Year I photographed my
first wedding!

100%

Desire that their wedding
will bring honor to God”

I am torn between finding this so very odd and cringeworthy, but on the other hand surprised he would even photograph couples who have kissed before marriage. Is that progress?

Also, how does he find out about this? Does he ask each and every couple whether they’ve kissed before? This seems… intrusive.

[Bethy]

Just now, GreenBeans said:

Also, how does he find out about this? Does he ask each and every couple whether they’ve kissed before? This seems… intrusive.

People who have their first kiss on their wedding day tend to be very open and very loud about it. I doubt he'd need to ask. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

In addition to Sarah's *scandalous* eye-trap top (heh heh heh suck it Stevie), do I spy red polish on her toes? Why yes I think I do!

Oh Law -- Eye trap shoulders! Eye trap toes!  What is the world coming to!!

Sarah looks lovey and oh so happy. The change  we can all see from 3 years ago is amazing.  Moving away from MaxHell House and Stevehovah's life stunting rules allowed Sarah to come into herself. Her life is no longer constricted, restricted, and made ever smaller by Stevehovah.

I believe Sarah is having "excellent" fun and loving God.

Listen Stevie boy -- having fun and loving God are not, and never were, mutually exclusive.