Maxwell 58: What Will Anna Do? Plus Anna Marie Gives Birth

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 hours ago, 16strong said:

It blows my mind that Anna Marie is only three years older than me. I have a feeling she would look a lot younger if she cut her hair and updated her clothes.

When her hair was short and curly after chemo, I though she looked so young and cute. I loved it. 

[Jana814]

9 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When her hair was short and curly after chemo, I though she looked so young and cute. I loved it. 

I liked her hair also. 

[SPHASH]

Screenshot of the email

[BullyJBG]

Beautiful! Want to see more.......if you're allowed.

[SPHASH]

Edited October 7, 2023 by SPHASH

[Xan]

I just don't understand.  They already have six children who will be motherless if Anna Marie has a disastrous return of the cancer.  Shouldn't she just be grateful for those six and not tempt fate with the hormonal storms that accompany pregnancy?  I would be doing everything that I can to create great memories for those six instead of using my energy to add more children.  Well, that's just my opinion.  I understand they're Quiverfull and quality of life isn't as important as the number of children that they have.

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

I just don't understand.  They already have six children who will be motherless if Anna Marie has a disastrous return of the cancer.  Shouldn't she just be grateful for those six and not tempt fate with the hormonal storms that accompany pregnancy?  I would be doing everything that I can to create great memories for those six instead of using my energy to add more children.  Well, that's just my opinion.  I understand they're Quiverfull and quality of life isn't as important as the number of children that they have.

I'm with you on this. I felt for her experiencing cancer while pregnant (and am still mystified they didn't induce her as soon as it was diagnosed*!) but now I'm enraged for the children! How can they do this to the six they already have?! 

*I acknowledge an immediate induction would be what I would need for my own peace of mind. They're all about mommy martyrs but yay we saved the baby!)

Edited October 7, 2023 by Giraffe

[Wolf in Sheeples’ Clothing]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

I just don't understand.  They already have six children who will be motherless if Anna Marie has a disastrous return of the cancer.  Shouldn't she just be grateful for those six and not tempt fate with the hormonal storms that accompany pregnancy?  I would be doing everything that I can to create great memories for those six instead of using my energy to add more children.  Well, that's just my opinion.  I understand they're Quiverfull and quality of life isn't as important as the number of children that they have.

It’s the mindset that God will provide and answer their prayers. Since He healed her once, surely it will happen again should the cancer return. 

Incidents like this remind me of a story I heard years ago in church. I think (?) I’ve posted it here before. But here it is:

A man was out fishing when a storm rolled in and his boat began to sink. Soon afterwards another boat came by, its crew attempted to rescue the man. But he refused, saying that he believed God would save him. Sometime later as his boat continued to sink and even bigger boat came by to rescue him. Once again he refused, saying that God would save him. The storm raged on and the boat was on the verge of going under. A rescue helicopter came, but once again the man refused, saying God would save him. Not long after the helicopter left the boat sank and the man drowned. When he got to Heaven he asked God “why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “save you? I send you two boats and helicopter! What more did you want?”

I think of this story when I hear about fundies tempting fate again and again. 

[marmalade]

3 minutes ago, Wolf in Sheeples’ Clothing said:

It’s the mindset that God will provide and answer their prayers. Since He healed her once, surely it will happen again should the cancer return. 

Incidents like this remind me of a story I heard years ago in church. I think (?) I’ve posted it here before. But here it is:

A man was out fishing when a storm rolled in and his boat began to sink. Soon afterwards another boat came by, its crew attempted to rescue the man. But he refused, saying that he believed God would save him. Sometime later as his boat continued to sink and even bigger boat came by to rescue him. Once again he refused, saying that God would save him. The storm raged on and the boat was on the verge of going under. A rescue helicopter came, but once again the man refused, saying God would save him. Not long after the helicopter left the boat sank and the man drowned. When he got to Heaven he asked God “why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “save you? I send you two boats and helicopter! What more did you want?”

I think of this story when I hear about fundies tempting fate again and again. 

I've always heard that story about a man on his roof when his house floods due to a hurricane. 😃

[mango_fandango]

Yeah I’ve heard the story about the guy refusing the boats and helicopter too! I’m not even religious. I don’t remember where I first heard it though.

I have heard stories of women having babies after cancer treatment, but they’re not the Quiverfull type. 

[Xan]

I understand that, for her, this was a return to normalcy.  She and her husband wanted to get back to their old life but that just shows how brainwashed they are.  Big life events like cancer change you and change your life.  By necessity, you have to reevaluate priorities and then decide what's most important.  They should have set down together and thought, "What now?  How do we handle this as a family and how do we best protect the children we have?"  They obviously didn't do that.

I'm a lot older than Anna Marie but I have breast cancer too and have had mine since before she got her diagnosis.  I certainly made some changes in my own life.  The biggest problem I see is that she didn't wait long enough to declare herself "cured".  You need at least five years and even that's not a guarantee.  You can get a clear scan and then, six months later, the cancer pops up in a different spot.  The fact that she waited so long for treatment makes me think there's a possibility that there are still microscopic cancer cells in her body.  I just don't have a good feeling about any of this.

[Melissa1977]

I thought 5 years are needed to consider someone 100% cancer healed. Teri says it's been 2 years (so Anna basically got pregnant 1 year after cancer). I could understand such a fool decision if she was 40 and childless and desperate for a baby (despite not being the smartest decision), but she already had 5 or 6 children. I know they are quiverful but there are quiverful orphans too, it is not that God protects quiverful mothers more than others... 

 

[Bethy]

I think another part of this is that among fundies, women are fairly interchangeable brood mares. If a wife dies in childbirth, then the widowed husband will be sad for a few minutes and then find a new wife, and continue fathering children with her while everyone praises the deceased mom for giving her life in the most noble way possible. Many don't believe in childhood trauma, so they'll assume that since a replacement mommy came into the home fairly immediately and the kids are fed and clothed, they're fine, and any acting out that stems from that trauma is really just defiance that needs to be spanked out of them - easy peasy!

[browngrl]

I see women who choose to get/try to get pregnant following cancer treatment  (or some other deadly disease) reasonably regularly. These are not fundies (by and large), they just want to have a child. I feel like it is their way of choosing life/hope when their choice at life has otherwise been taken away by cancer/other disease.  

 

 

 

[Hane]

A friend of mine got breast cancer when her daughter was quite young. It was a type that could be re-triggered by hormonal changes. She immediately decided not to have any more kids, because “Angie needs a mother more than she needs a baby brother.”

[Xan]

8 hours ago, browngrl said:

I see women who choose to get/try to get pregnant following cancer treatment  (or some other deadly disease) reasonably regularly. These are not fundies (by and large), they just want to have a child. I feel like it is their way of choosing life/hope when their choice at life has otherwise been taken away by cancer/other disease.  

I see your point and understand completely if her woman desperately wants and has not yet had a child.  She might want to have a bit of herself still left in the world if she goes.   The ones I have trouble with are women who have several children and still opt to conceive too quickly after cancer.

Backstory for what I'm about to say:

Spoiler

One of my younger sisters was physically handicapped and maneuvered through life in a wheelchair.  When it came to choosing a college, she picked one where aides would be provided.  It had a fair percentage of disabled students.  At one point, she calls and tells me that they had a fundraiser and she participated.  You could pay $1.00 and get someone pied in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream.  I asked her who she had targeted and she said, "a blind guy".   I was aghast.  "You paid someone to pie a blind guy?  What were you thinking?"  She replied, "Just because he's blind doesn't mean he isn't an ass."

TL; dr -- Just because someone is disabled or ill it doesn't mean they can't be wrong.

As I said, I have cancer too and I have to be mindful that everyone has their own lives and they will have to go on without me.  You have to make choices that aren't selfish.  It's better not to lean on people too much because it will taint their memories later.  It's important to let the adult kids make their own holiday traditions because the old ones won't work anymore.  And, if one already has a house full of children, it's better to concentrate on them and enjoy the present instead of worrying about the future.

Climbing off my soapbox now...

[Alisamer]

I suspect their assumption is that 1) God cured her and if the cancer recurs, he can cure her again! and 2) We've got family to help out if she dies until a new mom is found. 

And I think that on #2 they might have a rude awakening. Steve and Teri, despite instilling this in them, aren't going to take in a brood of kids. Teri could barely tolerate the ones she birthed, and Steve is old and set in his ways. I can't see Sarah being willing to suddenly become auntie-mom to a ton of kids, she's got her own busy, apparently happy, life now. Same with the other girls - new husband, college, activities, friends... they are too busy having fun to help raise a ton of nieces and nephews, after spending much of their young adulthood doing just that quite often. I'm sure they'd be happy to help out occasionally, but they are unlikely to rearrange their lives to become a long-term substitute mommy. And of course they aren't sticking to the Steve-rules much anymore, which makes them a questionable influence in Steve's eyes at least. The sisters-in-law have their own families to deal with. 

And honestly we've probably put more thought into this than they have. We're like, "oh, is that safe, what about the kids if the worst happens?" and they're like "lalalalala, God is good. We're all going to heaven eventually anyway. Lalalala things happen however God wants." 

They seem to think God is closely invested in their lives and just sends them challenges occasionally to prove their faith or whatever, like beating a boss in a video game to level up. I don't think so. If God was that invested personally in every person's life, there'd be a lot less misery in this world, IMO. He seems pretty hands-off to me. 

[HereticHick]

I'm concerned that I haven't seen any pics of Anna at ABC since classes started--they had their big charity run last weekend, and big BBQ before that, & I don't see her anywhere.

[fundiewatch]

Nope, Anna’s back on campus. We’ve seen pics. 

[Bethy]

8 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I'm concerned that I haven't seen any pics of Anna at ABC since classes started--they had their big charity run last weekend, and big BBQ before that, & I don't see her anywhere.

I agree it's weird that we didn't see her in the 5K. It could be that she has a more intense schedule this term as she nears graduation, or that she's pinching pennies and this is an activity that costs. Or maybe she had a cold. There are lots of reasons she might not have been at the 5K.

[FunFunFundie]

I had a massive brain tumor that they discovered a couple of weeks after my youngest was born. I will never forget the devastation I felt looking at my newborn and thinking that I could be leaving her an orphan. I was done having kids at that point. It was benign, the tumor is gone, it’s fine. But I felt like I was super lucky to have the kids I had and my job was to focus on being their mother and not tempting fate. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

The 5k actually seemed smaller this year compared to last year. Maybe it was a bad choice of weekend and a lot of people had other obligations.

[Maggie Mae]

On 10/19/2023 at 7:01 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

The 5k actually seemed smaller this year compared to last year. Maybe it was a bad choice of weekend and a lot of people had other obligations.

This is a nationwide problem in the running community. races are still at like 50% of their pre-pandemic sign-up. It rebounded slowly in 2021 and 2022, but it looks like with inflation, people are being way more picky about what races they run. A lot of people don't bother with 5Ks as it's just not worth $40 or whatever for a tee-shirt and a half-hour of fun. 

[StillOdd1Out]

On 10/18/2023 at 1:10 PM, HereticHick said:

I'm concerned that I haven't seen any pics of Anna at ABC since classes started--they had their big charity run last weekend, and big BBQ before that, & I don't see her anywhere.

 

 

isn’t this her in blue? 

[Hellothere]

Believe that may be an old photo from prior year’s race. The guy she is walking alongside, Alex Eichorn(sp?) was a senior last year (and student body President) and has graduated.  Or perhaps he is still on campus this year as a graduate student?