Erin and Chad 10: Will they homeschool?

[rebeccawriter01]

12 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

You'd think Evan would update it. He filmed new youtube intros over and over. This would be easier.

I don't know at all but my guess is that religious differences were an issue for BSB. Erin seems to have doubled down and the others don't seem all that fundie (in comparison)

If Chad thinks that having a general youtube channel isn't a good religious use of her time - what must chad (and his family?) have thought about selling clothing of questionable modesty (shorter skirts? too much cleavage? too much clinginess?)

I think religious differences played a part, but I would bet money did too. 

1. Erin seemed to want to be in charge even if it was a three person partnership. Her idea was to run it as a "ministry." Carlin and Whitney had other ideas. When Erin got sick with COVID, Carlin and Whitney got to run it how they wanted. When it was "successful" with Carlin and Whitney running things, it was clear that Erin lost some voice in that argument because her ideas weren't tested as their ideas were then. More than likely there was something that made Erin/Chad decide they wanted out but I think her lack of control over the situation made it worse for her. Were Carlin and Whitney expecting too much of a time commitment? Were they selling tops that showed a little shoulder? Did Whitney (Zach) get fed up with housing the inventory and employees at their home without getting extra profits but Erin didn't see it as reason to change? Did someone tell a joke around Chad that got him wanting Erin out?

2. Chad and Erin wanted out and probably wanted their investment back (meaning someone had to buy them out). Nobody was willing to do that. Evan/Carlin and Whitney/Zach were both in the process of buying new houses, having babies, etc. They probably didn't have the extra cash lying around to buy her out and become 2/3 owner. This is probably where Kelly Jo stepped in to "help" even though she didn't become a partner. There was probably something done to keep the peace (not end up in court) for the sake of the cameras that were filming during that time.

ETA: I know lots of us look at Erin's COVID situation and wonder about that. It's kind of like I had been saying about Evan being on FMLA for Carlin's issues. Legally Erin and Evan both had jobs to go back to but didn't go. There is a difference in legally having a job and those coworkers/partners going on without you. Fair or unfair, life goes on when someone is absent. And eventually that person's absence is not noticed or remembered as much because it has become the norm. In terms of Erin, I would bet the calls to her at first came fast about decisions to be made. But then the calls would slow down. She was napping (you do a lot of while recovering) or she was not up for the call. So Whitney and Carlin began to make decisions without her. Then when Erin did begin feeling better, they had to remember to include her. Anyone who has been out on an extended leave or had a coworker out on it realizes it is harder than just simply holding that door open. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

From my experience most people don't understand or deal with "buying me out/buying you out" very well. I've known people who had 50%/50% equity in a property but somehow believed she had to PAY the staying co-owner to get out rather than the staying co-owner pay her for her equity.  I was like "buy you'd be paying him to have 100% owner ship -That's not right. He should pay you to get 100% FROM You." 

I was told I don't understand business.

I've known people who "opened businesses together" who had major miscommunications about basic divisions in money and responsibilities. Some who took all the investment money and then left the business debt with the other.

Especially with family a lot of times you just let it go rather than have a disagreement.

I don't believe Zach cared at all about using his house and was probably happy to help his family/wife.

I don't think Carlin and Erin were ever more than "all my sisters are my best friends" and relatively close in age. Their personalities always seemed too similar and likely to clash. Whitney seems to be one of those neutral people who balance others out. 

It will be interesting to see how the FL expedition goes. It's been interesting how little has been said about moving closer to Alyssa. But I maintain I think Erin/Chad have gone more fundie while everyone else went the opposite direction and I suspect it's a huge point of tension. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I expected more visits between Erin and Alyssa. Maybe Erin isn’t interested in having relationships with some of her siblings. It’s interesting how the skirts only 2 sisters who seem drunkest on the fundie kool-aid are the sisters Erin is closest with.  

Edited February 26, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[CanadianMamam]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I expected more visits between Erin and Alyssa. Maybe Erin isn’t interested in having relationships with some of her siblings. It’s interesting how the skirts only 2 sisters who seem drunkest on the fundie kool-aid are the sisters Erin is closest with.  

Alyssa is in the midst of a difficult pregnancy, I think she isn't going very far from her house (except for things like her baby shower) these days so Erin would have to come to her with all 5 kids and they are what an hour so apart? Not convenient for a last minute drop-in. 

Plus I think Erin and Alyssa he absolutely nothing in common. I think they can get along fine when the situation calls for them to get together but they have zero desire to hang out. 

As for the boutique, whatever happened, Erin is far angrier at Carlin than Whitney. Erin has been photographed with Zach and Whitney since the Boutique split, whereas there has been zero interaction with Carlin except on the opposite ends of family group photos. 

I think Erin's pregnancy was the catalyst of whatever went down. She was sick, she recovered and then bam she was pregnant with miracle baby and Chad was obviously apprehensive about her health and I think that is what sparked the big rift. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think Erin liked to use Michael as a free babysitter and that’s why they were together so much in TN. Alyssa isn’t going to be Erin’s free babysitter though. 

[CanadianMamam]

34 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Erin liked to use Michael as a free babysitter and that’s why they were together so much in TN. Alyssa isn’t going to be Erin’s free babysitter though. 

Yep. And I see this as both ways. Erin isn'5 going to send Alyssa Door Dash (like Katie) or come and watch her kids for her. Neither of them can use the other, so I don't see them seeking each other out. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

Yep. And I see this as both ways. Erin isn'5 going to send Alyssa Door Dash (like Katie) or come and watch her kids for her. Neither of them can use the other, so I don't see them seeking each other out. 

Erin is like Kelly in that way. In so many birthday tributes, Kelly mentions how the child is helpful to her as this highly praised thing. I think that’s how Kelly sees her children. As potential helpers to make her life better or easier. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

Yep. And I see this as both ways. Erin isn'5 going to send Alyssa Door Dash (like Katie) or come and watch her kids for her. Neither of them can use the other, so I don't see them seeking each other out. 

These folks do not know how to form relationships and to easily communicate. Their family structure and life did not provide an opportunity to hone those very important skills during their very limited development years. The girls were all isolated away working as surrogate parents, handmaidens and teachers to their parents’ other kids. No one was seen has an individual with unique talents, interests or skills that needed to be fostered. To me, they all act like a litter of pups who would walk over, bite or steal another’s food. Erin did seem to receive favorable treatment d/t to her music skills. I’m sure some of the others resented that treatment. I could see loud and attention seeking Carlin to be bothered. I could see Alyssa rolling her eyes at Erin’s antics.

They use others because their parents readily used them. They accept free gifts from others, that most of us view as very odd, because they saw their parents doing the same-

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Erin is like Kelly in that way. In so many birthday tributes, Kelly mentions how the child is helpful to her as this highly praised thing. I think that’s how Kelly sees her children. As potential helpers to make her life better or easier. 

I think Erin and Alyssa are both the most like Kelly. They were the ones who absorbed her behavior the most. And I think Alyssa and Erin are both very alike and very different and that makes them fully incompatible as people. But they both come off as self-centred and viewing people in terms of how they can help them. And they are of no use to each other, so even living close, their relationship will be shallow and distant. 

[SassyPants]

31 minutes ago, CanadianMamam said:

I think Erin and Alyssa are both the most like Kelly. They were the ones who absorbed her behavior the most. And I think Alyssa and Erin are both very alike and very different and that makes them fully incompatible as people. But they both come off as self-centred and viewing people in terms of how they can help them. And they are of no use to each other, so even living close, their relationship will be shallow and distant. 

Any speculation has to why out of all the siblings, Alyssa has been in the most wedding parties? I never saw Alyssa as particularly kind to others or thinking about others as much as herself. Yet, everyone in her family seems to be close enough to her to include her in their wedding party while leaving others out.

[CanadianMamam]

23 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Any speculation has to why out of all the siblings, Alyssa has been in the most wedding parties? I never saw Alyssa as particularly kind to others or thinking about others as much as herself. Yet, everyone in her family seems to be close enough to her to include her in their wedding party while leaving others out.

There was a theory on Reddit that she won't attend a wedding if she or her kids are not in it, when she skipped Lawson's wedding, so Kelly encourages people to ask her.  But she did go to Trace's wedding without that. 

But I think Alyssa and Erin felt obligated to have each other. Michaela likes eveyone. Tori and Carlin had all their adult sisters. 

Nathan included a large variety of his nieces and nephews (some of Zach, Tori, and Erin's kids where also included).

That leaves Whitney and Josie/Katie. Alyssa introduced Zach and Whitney, didn't she? And she seems to get along well with the younger sisters that she can mentor. Although something happened between her and Josie after the wedding because they are never together and never seem to acknowledge each other. 

Alyssa is also very organized, so she is probably an ideal bridesmaid, especially in the Bates family when no one else can stay on track. 

My guess is that Alyssa will also be a bridesmaid when Jackson marries Emerson, as she introduced them. Or at the very least, her kids will be flower girls. 

Edited February 26, 2023 by CanadianMamam

[indianabones]

1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

There was a theory on Reddit that she won't attend a wedding if she or her kids are not in it, when she skipped Lawson's wedding, so Kelly encourages people to ask her.  But she did go to Trace's wedding without that.

I don't know why that's easier for Redditors to believe than that she and John weren't willing/able to pay for 5 round trip flights from Orlando to San Diego. That would have cost them at least $2,000 which doesn't even include a hotel room.

[CanadianMamam]

Just now, indianabones said:

I don't know why that's easier for Redditors to believe than that she and John weren't willing/able to pay for 5 round trip flights from Orlando to San Diego. That would have cost them at least $2,000 which doesn't even include a hotel room. 

Erin went with two kids (one who was a baby) and Tori and Bobby went without kids, so I think people think it is more than just money. 

Personally, my thought was that John didn't want to spend the money for them all to go to and refused to watch the kids while she went alone. He has never once watched the kids when she weny somewhere (shr always has a sister helper for that). But at the same time, finances are also personal and they likely did have their reasons. But alI also think John is by far the worst father of the Bates husband's. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

But then John went skiing in CO with the bates family without Alyssa and the girls right?

Edited February 26, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[CanadianMamam]

23 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But then John went skiing in CO with the bates family without Alyssa and the girls right?

He did! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I guess it’s just weird that John can go skiing in Colorado with Alyssa’s family by himself but Alyssa can’t attend her brothers wedding in CA by herself.

[SassyPants]

10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I guess it’s just weird that John can go skiing in Colorado with Alyssa’s family by himself but Alyssa can’t attend her brothers wedding in CA by herself.

It’s because of the kids. If Alyssa went to CA, who would have watched the kids? /s

Although, John does work away from the home, so he couldn’t be in 2 places at once, while Alyssa does not. Personally, I don’t think a man with a pregnant wife who has horrible pregnancy sickness should be jetting off for a vacation leaving her to deal with 4 young children.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

It’s because of the kids. If Alyssa went to CA, who would have watched the kids? /s

Although, John does work away from the home, so he couldn’t be in 2 places at once, while Alyssa does not. Personally, I don’t think a man with a pregnant wife who has horrible pregnancy sickness should be jetting off for a vacation leaving her to deal with 4 young children.

My husband would never do that to me. Because even though I am a SAHM like Alyssa, my husband helps. I need his help with the kids. Especially when they were little and I was pregnant. It just shows that Alyssa does everything around the house and John does very little. It’s like Zoo and PP. He can travel all over the place and it doesn’t effect zoo at all. It’s one less man child to feed. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

 

Alyssa is also very organized, so she is probably an ideal bridesmaid, especially in the Bates family when no one else can stay on track. 

 

This would be my guess. I never had a wedding but it seems to me everybody wants  1 bridesmaid who's gonna plan all the fun and be the life of the party (Carlin?), 1 bridesmaid who will praise you and support you no matter what's happening with your shoes or make up (Katie? Michaela?) and 1 bridesmaid who is a stable influence who just gets stuff done, makes a checklist or whatever - isn't drama so when you have your pre wedding jitters or melt down this bridesmaid is the chill one who is the port in the storm.

I think Alyssa is this last type for many of the people in her family. And I think in this particular family, having an older sister who is calm who will listen to you and not make everything about herself (Tori? Erin?) is more valuable than usual. 

If I needed advice I wouldn't ask Erin - she's just gonna pray it away or tell me what she would do without actually listening. Michaela would help me fix whatever it was that needed doing. Carlin would be the one to take me out after a break up and keep me busy. Katie I think would mourn with you and rejoice with you whichever you needed.

And I think Alyssa would be the one to sit down and have a conversation with about being nervous or cold feet or just say "it's gonna work out, it's fine, take a breath". Carlin would nervously laugh. Katie would probably deer in the headlights you. 

[SoSoNosy]

This conversation has opened my eyes to the lack of books in these kids' lives; there have always been books around our family homes.  My dad was overseas in the Army when I was little, and my mom was afraid of the dark; we went to bed before sundown and she taught me nursery rhymes and read me books.  Growing up, all I wanted was books and more books, plus I had total access to the local library.  My children weren't as voracious as I was, but my grandchildren are.  Books are life.  My mother's favorite pastime was reading a book to a little one.

What a tragic loss in a child's life.

[SassyPants]

14 hours ago, SoSoNosy said:

This conversation has opened my eyes to the lack of books in these kids' lives; there have always been books around our family homes.  My dad was overseas in the Army when I was little, and my mom was afraid of the dark; we went to bed before sundown and she taught me nursery rhymes and read me books.  Growing up, all I wanted was books and more books, plus I had total access to the local library.  My children weren't as voracious as I was, but my grandchildren are.  Books are life.  My mother's favorite pastime was reading a book to a little one.

What a tragic loss in a child's life.

Books= knowledge=questioning=longing. No way these folks would allow for the development of intellectual curiosity. Plus, when most of these kids were younger, there were few audio book options and physical reading takes time. There was no free time. All time was consumed with cooking, cleaning and butt wiping.

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My husband would never do that to me. Because even though I am a SAHM like Alyssa, my husband helps. I need his help with the kids. Especially when they were little and I was pregnant. It just shows that Alyssa does everything around the house and John does very little. It’s like Zoo and PP. He can travel all over the place and it doesn’t effect zoo at all. It’s one less man child to feed. 

I agree. Most sensible, fiscally conservative men with many small kids and a PG wife would not take a solo (w/o family) vacation. It was a very self centered and selfish decision, IMO.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Books= knowledge=questioning=longing. No way these folks would allow for the development of intellectual curiosity. Plus, when most of these kids were younger, there were few audio book options and physical reading takes time. There was no free time. All time was consumed with cooking, cleaning and butt wiping.

I agree. Most sensible, fiscally conservative men with many small kids and a PG wife would not take a solo (w/o family) vacation. It was a very self centered and selfish decision, IMO.

My kids are 8 and 10 now. Therefore they need less physical care because they can do some things for themselves. My husband mentioned possibly going to some nerdy convention out of the country in the fall. I was like, “I’m not against you going. I’m just going to be at home and jealous the whole time.” We don’t have anyone who would watch our kids for that long so I can’t go with him. And my kids can’t go because it’s during the school year. So I’ll be at home with the kids wishing I was out of the country having fun. Sigh. 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 2/26/2023 at 10:13 AM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

From my experience most people don't understand or deal with "buying me out/buying you out" very well. I've known people who had 50%/50% equity in a property but somehow believed she had to PAY the staying co-owner to get out rather than the staying co-owner pay her for her equity.  I was like "buy you'd be paying him to have 100% owner ship -That's not right. He should pay you to get 100% FROM You." 

I was told I don't understand business.

I've known people who "opened businesses together" who had major miscommunications about basic divisions in money and responsibilities. Some who took all the investment money and then left the business debt with the other.

Especially with family a lot of times you just let it go rather than have a disagreement.

I don't believe Zach cared at all about using his house and was probably happy to help his family/wife.

I don't think Carlin and Erin were ever more than "all my sisters are my best friends" and relatively close in age. Their personalities always seemed too similar and likely to clash. Whitney seems to be one of those neutral people who balance others out. 

It will be interesting to see how the FL expedition goes. It's been interesting how little has been said about moving closer to Alyssa. But I maintain I think Erin/Chad have gone more fundie while everyone else went the opposite direction and I suspect it's a huge point of tension. 

 

I don't think any of the Bateses understand business fully, which is why I worded it as I did. Erin and Chad spoke about Trace potentially running Paine Construction. However, it was/is a sole proprietorship. It wasn't something they could just hand over to him. They could hand over client jobs and tools, but the business itself isn't tangible unless you count all the t-shirts.

Most breakdowns in business partnerships come from miscommunication/expectations and money. Given that it took a while to go from Erin being MIA to an official announcement, I'd say money is a likely culprit. Zach may have been fine with using his own land and resources when it was a small outfit, but that doesn't mean he and Whitney weren't due more especially during COVID when they were essentially running things solo. Not to mention he was paying for electricity, water, etc. for the business. Given that they moved to a commercial location just before Zach and Whitney (plus kids) purchased a bigger house, I'd say it was a safe bet to say they were over living in a factory/home.  I'm not saying that was the springboard. I can imagine that an argument could include that though. 

As for personalities, Carlin prior to growing up/dating/marriage was a people pleaser who loved to throw praise onto someone. In the very first episode where she and Erin are shopping for prizes for Whitney's shower, she is essentially giving Erin a tongue bath about how wonderful Erin is and how well she has dealt with all the miscarriages. When Zach finished the academy, she passed by Whitney to congratulate him. She was the same with the middle three boys playing basketball and screaming "that's my brother!" When Trace, Josie, and Tori graduated from Crown, I can still hear and see her passing everyone else up to take pictures, screaming "Look at me!" 

She and Erin did well when Carlin was younger. Carlin asked Erin for advice and Erin offered it, getting to feel in charge and wise. In return Carlin was validated by Erin's echoing of things Carlin thought she wanted to hear. You can see this with many of Erin's relationships with her family. Once they find their own voice and opinions, she is less interested in them. I think that is part of what makes her relationship with Tori work.

[Kiki03910]

23 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

There was a theory on Reddit that she won't attend a wedding if she or her kids are not in it, when she skipped Lawson's wedding, so Kelly encourages people to ask her.  But she did go to Trace's wedding without that. 

But I think Alyssa and Erin felt obligated to have each other. Michaela likes eveyone. Tori and Carlin had all their adult sisters. 

Nathan included a large variety of his nieces and nephews (some of Zach, Tori, and Erin's kids where also included).

That leaves Whitney and Josie/Katie. Alyssa introduced Zach and Whitney, didn't she? And she seems to get along well with the younger sisters that she can mentor. Although something happened between her and Josie after the wedding because they are never together and never seem to acknowledge each other. 

Alyssa is also very organized, so she is probably an ideal bridesmaid, especially in the Bates family when no one else can stay on track. 

My guess is that Alyssa will also be a bridesmaid when Jackson marries Emerson, as she introduced them. Or at the very least, her kids will be flower girls. 

Weren't Alyssa and Josie the ones who shared a quiet bedroom (and maybe another of the girls)? I didn't know anything had happened between them, but I only get information here because I avoid social media like the plague. Plus you guys are much more fun!

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Josie and Kelton seem a bit more independent from the family - he owns his own business and so does she, as well as seeming to pay people to watch their kids, even family members.  We don't know that Alyssa and Josie were close beyond not liking the hustle and bustle noise of 21 people, but they probably have nothing to offer each other now.

Edited February 28, 2023 by GuineaPigCourtship
changed her kids to their kids, since men are capable of equal child rearing responsibilities