Erin and Chad 10: Will they homeschool?

[neuroticcat]

I had hopes that the kids who had been so controlled and had very little agency would not pass that on. Wasn’t Erin the one who got married and immediately decorated her bedroom to like a princess pink bed? It was not stylish but I was glad she seemed to express herself. It’s sad to me that all of them work so hard to meet styles.

I wonder if that’s a direct result of being so out of style and m a chaotic household. Now everything is always in order and looks on trend (vs cowboy theme chaos and frumpers).

It’s really sad for the kids. From neglect the pendulum swings to hyper control. 

[SassyPants]

17 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I had hopes that the kids who had been so controlled and had very little agency would not pass that on. Wasn’t Erin the one who got married and immediately decorated her bedroom to like a princess pink bed? It was not stylish but I was glad she seemed to express herself. It’s sad to me that all of them work so hard to meet styles.

I wonder if that’s a direct result of being so out of style and m a chaotic household. Now everything is always in order and looks on trend (vs cowboy theme chaos and frumpers).

It’s really sad for the kids. From neglect the pendulum swings to hyper control. 

I think each of the adults from these mega families would describe what makes a good parent differently. For Erin it might mean spending all her time controlling and dictating her children’s every move. For Alyssa it might include having a spotless house and dressing her kids in matching clothes. For Jill D it might mean providing her boys with a functioning education and for Jinger it might mean feeding her girls a healthy diet. I think some realize the deficits in the way their parents parented. Of recent, I have not heard any of them singing the praises of their exceptional parents, which is a change.

[Kiki03910]

10 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

You guys are funny...they don't want to encourage reading. So why would they model reading? Why would they provide a variety of interesting books?

You don't succeed in spreading your controlling cult viewpoints if people are *thinking* for themselves or if they have an inner world populated by imagined stories and characters that you don't control.

You guys...so silly. I just don't think you will.run effective cults.

When I was 9, I informed my 5-year-old sister that we would henceforth be worshipping the moon, and I made her read a hymn I wrote. She cried, and that was both the beginning and the end of my career as a cult leader.

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I think each of the adults from these mega families would describe what makes a good parent differently. For Erin it might mean spending all her time controlling and dictating her children’s every move. For Alyssa it might include having a spotless house and dressing her kids in matching clothes. For Jill D it might mean providing her boys with a functioning education and for Jinger it might mean feeding her girls a healthy diet. I think some realize the deficits in the way their parents parented. Of recent, I have not heard any of them singing the praises of their exceptional parents, which is a change.

Except Jinger. She keeps trying to say she has great parents in her book interviews. While saying Bill Gothard was a monster that harmed her. It’s so strange. 

[JMO]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Except Jinger. She keeps trying to say she has great parents in her book interviews. While saying Bill Gothard was a monster that harmed her. It’s so strange. 

Honestly unless she says that it will turn into a story about how she's completely broken from her family and she doesn't seem to want to do that. So she keeps having to make that caveat in order to not alienate her family.

[JermajestyDuggar]

41 minutes ago, JMO said:

Honestly unless she says that it will turn into a story about how she's completely broken from her family and she doesn't seem to want to do that. So she keeps having to make that caveat in order to not alienate her family.

I don’t know if she has to say they are “great parents” though. I think she could have worded it differently. The Duggars are so far from great parents it’s laughable. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Except Jinger. She keeps trying to say she has great parents in her book interviews. While saying Bill Gothard was a monster that harmed her. It’s so strange. 

Her main goal is to/do/dress/believe/endorse whatever will put the most greenbacks in her wallet. In that regard she is totally JB’s daughter. If dressing like Lolly the Clown was the best way to fill her wallet, Jinger would happily donn the costume. If kissing her parents’ asses is the road to riches, she’ll do it. Jeremy tells her what to do.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Her main goal is to/do/dress/believe/endorse whatever will put the most greenbacks in her wallet. In that regard she is totally JB’s daughter. If dressing like Lolly the Clown was the best way to fill her wallet, Jinger would happily donn the costume. If kissing her parents’ asses is the road to riches, she’ll do it. Jeremy tells her what to do.

I think Jinger just does what the people she loves tell her to. I think Jeremy wants money so he can live his ridiculous lifestyle so he tells her to write a book. I think she doesn’t want to upset her parents so she says they are great. I think her main goal is to please others. And this is her way to please Jeremy and her parents at the same time. She’s definitely not free. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Jinger just does what the people she loves tell her to. I think Jeremy wants money so he can live his ridiculous lifestyle so he tells her to write a book. I think she doesn’t want to upset her parents so she says they are great. I think her main goal is to please others. And this is her way to please Jeremy and her parents at the same time. She’s definitely not free. 

In a comment above someone mentioned that they were proud of Jinger and I wrongly agreed. Jinger really hasn’t made her own strides. And you are right, she is not free. But I think she IS happy and in a better space for her, than the TTH. Hard to explain…Jinger is shallow and stunted. Hope she doesn’t wake up in a few years, to a life she absolutely HATES. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

In a comment above someone mentioned that they were proud of Jinger and I wrongly agreed. Jinger really hasn’t made her own strides. And you are right, she is not free. But I think she IS happy and in a better space for her, than the TTH. Hard to explain…Jinger is shallow and stunted. Hope she doesn’t wake up in a few years, to a life she absolutely HATES. 

I’m happy that Jinger is happier than she was. But for me, it stops there. And I really hope she eventually stops all the people pleasing and gets therapy to work on all the trauma she’s had to deal will.

[Jackie3]

On 2/5/2023 at 8:26 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I know these people shop at goodwill and all the thrift stores because they talk about it. So I know they see the large amounts of very cheap children’s books in every damn thrift store they enter. So why don’t they buy them by the box?!

Maybe because they are cheap books? One book is not the same as the other. You don't buy them by the pound like flour.  I've seen mostly junk books at Goodwill, not worth carting home. 

We're big readers in our family. But I don't feel the need to demand that everyone be like that. Some families value soccer, or cooking or building. Homeschooling can take many different forms, not just the form you prefer.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Maybe because they are cheap books? One book is not the same as the other. You don't buy them by the pound like flour.  I've seen mostly junk books at Goodwill, not worth carting home. 

We're big readers in our family. But I don't feel the need to demand that everyone be like that. Some families value soccer, or cooking or building. Homeschooling can take many different forms, not just the form you prefer.

Sorry your thrift stores suck. Mine don’t. I’ve found plenty of almost brand new books that my kids love from thrift stores for .50-$2.00. I love having a huge home  library of books for my kids and they go to public school. I’m very happy with their education. 

[Jackie3]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sorry your thrift stores suck. Mine don’t. I’ve found plenty of almost brand new books that my kids love from thrift stores for .50-$2.00. I love having a huge home  library of books for my kids and they go to public school. I’m very happy with their education. 

"This must be good music, it's in a brand-new DVD case."  

It sounds like you still don't understand what makes a good book.

A book isn't "good" because it's new. It's not "good" because it's cheap. A book is good because it's well-written, with engaging characters and a strong voice. 

People usually keep such books and don't donate them to thrift stores, which means most of the books in thrift stores aren't quality children's literature. You rarely find the Curious George Treasury or Noddy in a thrift store (these are classic children's books, in case you don't know). You do find plenty of poorly written junk. 

So a giant pile of books from a thrift store isn't really a "find." If you want to build a quality library for a child you have to read kids' books yourself, or do some research, with an eye to your children's tastes.

If you value reading, you don't cheap out on literature.  If you can't afford to buy good books, go to the library. You'll find plenty of good quality writing for children there.

Edited February 7, 2023 by Jackie3

[nelliebelle1197]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Sorry your thrift stores suck. Mine don’t. I’ve found plenty of almost brand new books that my kids love from thrift stores for .50-$2.00. I love having a huge home  library of books for my kids and they go to public school. I’m very happy with their education. 

Don't engage the troll. It just makes it meaner.

[JermajestyDuggar]

38 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Don't engage the troll. It just makes it meaner.

I usually don’t. I think I must’ve forgotten. It’s arguments in this thread don’t even make sense. But trolls rarely make any sense. 

[Jackie3]

It's funny. I've met parents who'd never buy their kids cheap sports equipment or a cheap violin, who head straight to the thrift store when it comes to books. Why do people cheap out when it comes to literature?

 

Erin's way of decorating is so narcissistic. It's all about her (and her instagram).

 

On 2/4/2023 at 2:25 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

The way Erin lives is just so foreign to me. I’m not saying my way is best. Because we have too many damn toys! But it’s better than having practically none! I bet she encourages his drawing because it’s a quiet and clean activity he can do alone. But she would probably never let him get into painting or clay sculpting. 

Research has shown that too many toys inhibits creativity and makes it harder to learn.

https://www.thekavanaughreport.com/2017/03/the-problem-with-too-many-toys.html#:~:text=Well%2C there are a few,to learn from their environment.

 

 

[purple_summer]

On 2/5/2023 at 6:05 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

What’s funny is that I always see TONS of children’s Christian books at thrift stores. I know some fundies are very picky and only allow the Christian books. So they could actually buy a lot from the thrift store. But they don’t! It’s crazy.

Probably the wrong kind of Christian book. 
Signed, someone who got in trouble for encouraging a friend to read The Diary of Anne Frank. 

[Sheltie]

8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

It's funny. I've met parents who'd never buy their kids cheap sports equipment or a cheap violin, who head straight to the thrift store when it comes to books. Why do people cheap out when it comes to literature?

 

Story about a cheap violin.  For some reason my parents wanted me to learn something about playing a violin but since they knew I wasn’t that interested they just got a cheap one.  We found a Russian teacher and you should have seen the look on his face when he saw it.  He described it as being like a car with square wheels. 

 

 

 

Sorry I haven’t posted for awhile.  Don’t know how my post wound up inside the quote above. 

[Jackie3]

1 hour ago, Sheltie said:

 

Sorry I haven’t posted for awhile.  Don’t know how my post wound up inside the quote above. 

I don't know how, either. I never saw that post or that story. Wasn't thinking of you at all. IT's a cute story, though

[Gobsmacked]

On 2/4/2023 at 5:33 PM, Smoochie said:

Then they should have given the kids the master bedroom and taken the other room for themselves. Sorry, I get it, parents need their own space, etc. but if you choose to have so many kids you need to stack them like firewood, give them the larger room!

I spent the first 8 years of my life sharing as my brother arrived 21 months after me then narc sis arrived 24 months after him. We had the large bedroom in the 2 bedroom house. Parents had the smaller room. It’s common sense. We moved when I was 9 to a three bedroom. 

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, Gobsmacked said:

I spent the first 8 years of my life sharing as my brother arrived 21 months after me then narc sis arrived 24 months after him. We had the large bedroom in the 2 bedroom house. Parents had the smaller room. It’s common sense. We moved when I was 9 to a three bedroom. 

I had the master bedroom in a three bedroom house as a preschooler. One primary reason was the fact that I was potty training during that time and having an adjacent bathroom made it easier than running down the hall in the middle of the night. It was the only home my parents owned that had a walk in closet. My mother still gives me heck all these years later that she has never had a walk in closet. 

[Alisamer]

On 2/7/2023 at 8:10 AM, nelliebelle1197 said:

Don't engage the troll. It just makes it meaner.

And more nonsensical, apparently. 

There are plenty of well-written books, especially children's books, to be found at many thrift stores. People might keep a couple favorite books from their kids younger years, but the majority get donated once the kid's grown out of them. And young adult and above books often get donated as well, as people switch to e-readers. People move, and donate their books rather than ship them. People die, and their books get donated. I often see plenty of classics on the shelves at the thrift stores I frequent. 

I mean I love books, and I have a ton still, but when I moved I took a very close look at them and pruned down significantly. If I hadn't re-read it in 10 years or more and wasn't special to me in some way, it went in a box to be donated or placed around in little free libraries. If I feel the need to read any of those again it'll be worth the cost to buy a kindle copy not to have them taking up space in my house. 

[Baxter]

I've donated lots of very nice kids books to the daycare my son used to attend. I'm attempting not to be a pack rat so I was really trying to pare down the number of baby and toddler books I saved because we just had so many. I would imagine that thrift store would actually get a fair number of classic books because people will give them as gifts and so duplicates happen. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, Baxter said:

I've donated lots of very nice kids books to the daycare my son used to attend. I'm attempting not to be a pack rat so I was really trying to pare down the number of baby and toddler books I saved because we just had so many. I would imagine that thrift store would actually get a fair number of classic books because people will give them as gifts and so duplicates happen. 

I did the same. I donated some to my son’s preschool and I also donated plenty to free little libraries around my city. I think I need to go through our books again and take some more to the free little libraries. Some of the books are just too young and they’ve outgrown them. 

[Jackie3]

8 hours ago, Baxter said:

I've donated lots of very nice kids books to the daycare my son used to attend. I'm attempting not to be a pack rat so I was really trying to pare down the number of baby and toddler books I saved because we just had so many. I would imagine that thrift store would actually get a fair number of classic books because people will give them as gifts and so duplicates happen. 

A daycare worker is likely to know what stories kids like. She's probably not buying books by the pound at a thrift store.

I am sure that some quality literature has crossed the threshold of a thrift store. In my experience, though, people hold on to well-loved books (I've got ours packed away for grandchildren).

I'd never buy a pile of random books for a friend (even if they were "cheap" and "nearly brand new'). Adults have individual preferences (nonfiction, mysteries, etc) and a bunch of random books would be a thoughtless gift. If you wouldn't do that to an adult, why would you do it to a child?