Erin and Chad 10: Will they homeschool?

[front hugs > duggs]

She probably thinks she’s doing much better for her kids than her parents did for her. Did you see the room makeovers for her kids!?!? It’s soooooooo cuuuuuute 🙄. But she doesn’t realize the lack of individuality of her kids that went into those rooms. 

[Expectopatronus]

I want to know how she convinces her kids to stay in their room overnight. Mine adamantly refuses and insists on being in. my bed. How do I get her to agree to sleep in her own bed? It’s been nearly two years of this. 

[gobucks]

24 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

I want to know how she convinces her kids to stay in their room overnight. Mine adamantly refuses and insists on being in. my bed. How do I get her to agree to sleep in her own bed? It’s been nearly two years of this. 

Have you seen the red light/green light alarm clocks? They work really well after a few days of constant reminding red means bed. 

[Mrs Ms]

37 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

I want to know how she convinces her kids to stay in their room overnight. Mine adamantly refuses and insists on being in. my bed. How do I get her to agree to sleep in her own bed? It’s been nearly two years of this. 

No way that you want to emulate! 

Cry it out and when that doesn’t work, beat them. Plus I am sure the older ones know to enforce the “sleep in your bed and don’t make a sound” rules! 

 

At some stage your kid will get it… My oldest came over/demanded to be carried over to our bed at some stage during the night every night until 6 years old.
My middle kid always wanted one of us to go to their bed if they woke up, though tended to sleep through the night way better once asleep. (This was the child that woke 6+ times EVERY night until over a year old.) *

 My youngest isn’t 6 yet, but walks over to our bed at some stage about 3-4 times a week. If we are alert enough, we can take them back to their bed, cuddle 5 minutes and then have them stay the rest of the night in their own bed.

 

*I tried some of  “The No Cry Sleep Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley with this one. It helped.

 

[frumperlicious]

1 hour ago, Expectopatronus said:

I want to know how she convinces her kids to stay in their room overnight. Mine adamantly refuses and insists on being in. my bed. How do I get her to agree to sleep in her own bed? It’s been nearly two years of this. 

I mean, just don’t. They dont stay, and that is that…and you never know the last time. I have a beautiful scrapbook page about my youngest sleeping in my bed at 8?7? And I noted one night it would be the last.

And then it was, without fanfare, just the last. 
 

No one was harmed by her sleeping with her parents, and it made her happy. Life is short- let them be happy. She is 22 now and married and I am far away. 

[Nothing if not critical]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Erin really hasn’t evolved much past her teen years. It’s sad and infuriating at the same time.

It absolutely is! But from the Bates' (and other fundies'j POV, that makes her a huge success. Clearly, her parents did a perfect indoctrination job if she never strays from the way she was brought up. To them, it's not a bug, it's a feature.

[JermajestyDuggar]

We had so many sleep problems with my youngest. It was so hard. He actually had a bed in my bedroom until he was about 6 or 7. He’s my little clinger. 

[SassyPants]

I’m not sure my 9 YO granddaughter has ever slept an entire night in her own room, alone. She comes from a country where families sleep together. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

On 7/19/2023 at 6:41 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s really too bad when fundies just do the exact same things as their parents. Even if it was not good for them as children. I assume that it’s part of human nature to want to give your kids a better life than yourself. My parents weren’t horrible or anything. But I parent very differently from them. In hopes that it’s better. I know my own parents parented differently from their parents because they’ve admitted it openly. It’s how our culture evolves. Erin really hasn’t evolved much past her teen years. It’s sad and infuriating at the same time. 

I don’t know, she graduated from little girl to teen, I think she can go further. Maybe my faith is misplaced but after seeing what Jill Dillard is capable of I’m giving all these fundies a second look. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I don’t know, she graduated from little girl to teen, I think she can go further. Maybe my faith is misplaced but after seeing what Jill Dillard is capable of I’m giving all these fundies a second look. 

I think I’ve lost hope in Erin ever seeing the light since she’s 32 and still clinging to the beliefs she was taught. She’s gone through a lot with her miscarriages, Covid, health problems, her leaving a successful business, and surgery. Yet she’s still just spouting the same old same old. I could see other Bates daughters eventually speaking out against IBLP and purity culture. But probably not Erin.

[Mama Mia]

On 7/20/2023 at 12:27 AM, Nothing if not critical said:

It absolutely is! But from the Bates' (and other fundies'j POV, that makes her a huge success. Clearly, her parents did a perfect indoctrination job if she never strays from the way she was brought up. To them, it's not a bug, it's a feature.

But to be fair, that’s pretty true of almost everyone. If your kid grows up and seems to enjoy a lifestyle similar to the one they grew up with and shares your general  political /worldview you feel pretty successful as a parent.  As a parent it validates the home life you provided if your adult child sees it as desirable, right? 
 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

But to be fair, that’s pretty true of almost everyone. If your kid grows up and seems to enjoy a lifestyle similar to the one they grew up with and shares your general  political /worldview you feel pretty successful as a parent.  As a parent it validates the home life you provided if your adult child sees it as desirable, right? 
 

 

My parents are still proud of me even though I’m very different from them politically. Especially my dad. Fox news sucked him in and he believes everything they say. But he’s very proud of me even though I live in a place he would never live, vote for all the scheming liberals, and raising my kids fairly differently than the way he raised us. 

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My parents are still proud of me even though I’m very different from them politically. Especially my dad. Fox news sucked him in and he believes everything they say. But he’s very proud of me even though I live in a place he would never live, vote for all the scheming liberals, and raising my kids fairly differently than the way he raised us. 

Sorry, I’m not trying to say most parents wouldn’t be proud of their kids even if they have different views - a couple of my kids have started spouting right wing talking points and conspiracy theories. I’m still proud of them and love them immensely. But I 100% struggle with their beliefs. I try to avoid political conversations with them. I don’t think I agree with any of their siblings on every single issue - but it is definitely nice to not feel like I’m walking a minefield with the ones who I’m  generally in the same mind with.  Just saying liking having adult kids who grew up to share your worldview isn’t confined to fundamentalist cults. 

[LillyP]

On 7/19/2023 at 11:52 PM, Expectopatronus said:

I want to know how she convinces her kids to stay in their room overnight. Mine adamantly refuses and insists on being in. my bed. How do I get her to agree to sleep in her own bed? It’s been nearly two years of this. 

We're a sleep training family, so for us, that was the key. Kids in my bed was the #1 parenting thing I was adamant about pre-kids I wasn't going to do, and in a sea of alllll the things you cave on, it's the one thing we stuck to. We just went into it with the mindset that it's not easy, it's going to be hard, but you have to stay the course and be consistent. My husband and I were on the same page, I'd researched the different methods and talked to our pediatrician about it before starting to get his opinion. 

In the end we did it with my first when he was around 7.5 months, and he had it down within a week. He's now 5 and stayed in his crib for nights and naps until his 3rd birthday when he got a big boy bed. At that point we bought the Hatch Light - and have it programed to turn red at bedtime and green in the morning when he's allowed to get up and come downstairs. For us the crib was strictly for sleep. He didn't have toys in there, play in there, or be put in there for containment. We also had a very consistent bedtime routine as part of sleep training, and all those little things you do are part of the process that helps little ones to know "oh its bath time, then time for bed".

We did our second when he was 5 months and he was by far a more challenging child with several regressions, but we stayed the course. Now that he's 2 he is finally *knock on wood* consistently sleeping without wake ups. 

[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here: