Katie & Travis 3: Married and Expecting to be Expecting Soon….

[Mrs Ms]

Let’s hope they move to Tennessee as soon as Travis finishes his training! When the Bates parents are preferable, you have REALLY, REALLY fucked up!

 

 I actually hope they move wherever they want, but to break away from his parents, moving close to her family seems like a needed steppingstone.

[SassyPants]

5 minutes ago, mstee said:

I wonder if his parents bought them that fixer-upper house in Jersey as a bribe to keep them close

Of course they did. Either that or they gifted him the money to purchase it. They don’t have jobs so a mortgage is out of the question without a guarantor/co-signer.

[RosyDaisy]

2 hours ago, patsymae said:

OK I don't follow so much.What kind of father would share this with a congregation?

I don't think the term has been invented yet, but I'll stick with "a shitty one" until then.

[JDuggs]

I don’t think there’s any way Travis will move away from his family. He is the star of their family singing group and I don’t think he would want to give that up for himself. Their church/school is their multigenerational family business and it seems to have provided a very comfortable lifestyle for the whole family. I think Travis is probably very satisfied with the direction his life is headed.

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

Let’s hope they move to Tennessee as soon as Travis finishes his training! When the Bates parents are preferable, you have REALLY, REALLY fucked up!

I doubt they will move anytime soon. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

How many of the older daughters were married (and then moved away) while they had the show? I wonder if any of them were really homesick. The middle ones seem to have stuck close to home, so no risk of that.

I moved to the midwest after college and only knew my boyfriend who was cheating on me so we broke up within about a month. I was pretty homesick as I had to find jobs and a new place to live very quickly and had no friends. I at least had lived away at college. I can't imagine being shackled to that asshole family, married to a virtual stranger, and otherwise alone after never being away from family. Just awful.

[PurpleCats]

The thing that scares me the most about this is that abusers who choke are significantly more likely to go to kill than any other type of abuse.  If he was raised around this, it’s likely he sees it as acceptable or at least normal.

 

also, did anyone see her real that showed the wedding dress came in late so she found a new one right before the wedding? I think it explains why the top didn’t quite fit right. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

*general speculation as I do NOT want to paint anyone, including Travis who was clearly raised by assholes, with this kind of negative tag*

Do you think the Bates family would support a daughter leaving an abusive spouse or tell her to suck it up, buttercup?

[CanadianMamam]

I watched their house tour video. Katie talks about how awkward it was when Travis bought the house beceuse they weren't even engaged yet and so she didn't want to be too involved but she didn't want to seem uninterested and I can only imagine how awkward that would be. 

[JDuggs]

1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

I watched their house tour video. Katie talks about how awkward it was when Travis bought the house beceuse they weren't even engaged yet and so she didn't want to be too involved but she didn't want to seem uninterested and I can only imagine how awkward that would be. 

What a dick move by Travis to make this major life decision of buying a house without any input from the woman he was planning to marry, even though it wasn’t official yet. I suppose Katie’s opinion didn’t really matter to him, and Katie is subservient enough to not be bothered about not having any say about her future home.

[SassyPants]

25 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

What a dick move by Travis to make this major life decision of buying a house without any input from the woman he was planning to marry, even though it wasn’t official yet. I suppose Katie’s opinion didn’t really matter to him, and Katie is subservient enough to not be bothered about not having any say about her future home.

I guess the couple could make a decision similar to the one Jesse and Anna Maxwell made, and sell the house.

[CanadianMamam]

44 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

What a dick move by Travis to make this major life decision of buying a house without any input from the woman he was planning to marry, even though it wasn’t official yet. I suppose Katie’s opinion didn’t really matter to him, and Katie is subservient enough to not be bothered about not having any say about her future home.

From the video I kind of got the impression Travis's dad made the decision, which is also pretty much what I think that family dynamics is. He says he was in Tennessee with Katie when his dad called to tell him that he had gotten it. It was down to this one and another one and the owner had originally said he didn't want to sell and changed his mind. Sounds like they went private sale. 

 

It did sound like Travis kept getting asking for Katie's opinion, but it also soubds like his parents heavily influenced. 

I'm not sure at 20 I would have had that many opinions on a house, I just wouldn't have really know what I wanted, Katie is probably the same, and he boguht one with no floors and no walls, so they were starting from scratch. 

Honestly, if I was her, I would be more annoyed that he bought a glass table without consulting me than the house lol. She says she hates smudges and cleans it five times a day, just wait until the kids come. 

Edited February 3, 2022 by CanadianMamam

[raayx01]

Of what I remember from the video, Travis had talked about the house with Katie, but the guy wasn't selling, it wasn't until he was in Tennessee when his dad called and said the guy changed his mind. It would also seem that if daddy clark is paying for the house he would have the biggest say in the house and the price of it. Maybe this house was really the only option (financially).

[Tangy Bee]

I think they did a great job fixing up the house. Does Travis's brother live in a house or apartment? 

[CanadianMamam]

14 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

I think they did a great job fixing up the house. Does Travis's brother live in a house or apartment? 

House I think, from creeping instagram. 

 

[Phyllis_Stein]

I feel sad and concerned for Katie. Travis seems nice, but having been raised in that family and sheltered, he has no other frame of reference for relationships. If Katie needs help and/or needs to leave, I hope her family supports her. 

[Melissa1977]

On 2/3/2022 at 12:06 AM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

Do you think the Bates family would support a daughter leaving an abusive spouse or tell her to suck it up, buttercup?

I don't think so, except if the abuse was extreme (AKA very heavy beatings or putting life in danger). And even in that case, they would be ashamed of their daughter. Kelly and Gil look kind, but their views are radical.

I have my doubts about the sons. I'm not saying they are/will be abusers at all, but some of them don't seem as good as their sisters' husbands.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I am still very much a supporter of birth control and not letting god decide your family size. But the Clarks are a good example of what happens when fundies have small families. Since there are only three kids, they can keep them all in line and control them much easier. When you look at very large families like the Duggars and the Bateses, there’s no way you can completely control all 19 kids. It’s just impossible. And that’s when you get kids like Jill Duggar. There are other small fundie families that keep the control over their few children. Families like the Collingsworths. They all have done exactly what is expected from their parents. It’s so much easier to control your children when you only have a few, and when you force them to marry young. And that’s what the Clarks did. 

[Melissa1977]

On 2/3/2022 at 4:31 AM, JDuggs said:

What a dick move by Travis to make this major life decision of buying a house without any input from the woman he was planning to marry, even though it wasn’t official yet. I suppose Katie’s opinion didn’t really matter to him, and Katie is subservient enough to not be bothered about not having any say about her future home.

It puts Katie in a worse situation than her sisters. I don't know about Michaela, but all the others have chosen their appartments or houses, have clearly made decisions as a couple etc. I feel sad for Katie.

[FluffySnowball]

34 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

It puts Katie in a worse situation than her sisters. I don't know about Michaela, but all the others have chosen their appartments or houses, have clearly made decisions as a couple etc. I feel sad for Katie.

I feel Katie’s situation is very depressing and I don’t see a realistic way out for her (she could divorce, become independent, and work for her own living of course, but that doesn’t seem likely, at least at this point, so I don’t even wanna mention it too much). 
She’s very homesick, married to someone she doesn’t know well enough, living under her husband’s and his family’s control, and she grew up in a cult so I don’t even expect her to have the maturity and independence of other 20 year olds. Additionally, the video of Travis with his father and grandfather is horrible and scary. What a horrible family she married into… 

[neuroticcat]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I am still very much a supporter of birth control and not letting god decide your family size. But the Clarks are a good example of what happens when fundies have small families. Since there are only three kids, they can keep them all in line and control them much easier. When you look at very large families like the Duggars and the Bateses, there’s no way you can completely control all 19 kids. It’s just impossible. And that’s when you get kids like Jill Duggar. There are other small fundie families that keep the control over their few children. Families like the Collingsworths. They all have done exactly what is expected from their parents. It’s so much easier to control your children when you only have a few, and when you force them to marry young. And that’s what the Clarks did. 

All of this. Even in nonfundie homes, there is opportunity for higher control the fewer the children. The Duggars were arguably neglectful in many ways because they couldn’t perfectly control 19, but a small benefit was that even during childhood there could be more freedom. I bet you could get away with more under a sister mom than a perfectionist fundie mom. Or just could sneak off and do your own thing sometimes. And while a Jill could theoretically leave the cult and still maintain some connection with at least a few siblings, if you are one of three and leave, you are just out. 

[CanadianMamam]

15 hours ago, Phyllis_Stein said:

I feel sad and concerned for Katie. Travis seems nice, but having been raised in that family and sheltered, he has no other frame of reference for relationships. If Katie needs help and/or needs to leave, I hope her family supports her. 

Travis does see:sweet enough for a fundie male and he seems to adore Katie, but at the same time, this behaviour is all he has known and he has zero frame for healthy relationships and that is worrying. I wish they could both get therapy, but that will never happen. 

[kmachete14]

I think it's VERY odd how she is homesick so soon. I think back to my first time really away from home (Freshman year of college) and the homesickness didn't hit for about 8 weeks. Those first 8 weeks were so busy!  You are meeting new people, decorating your dorm, adjusting to new schedule, classes, and homework, etc. Once all the newness dies down, then the homesickness sets in. So my thoughts about Katie are basically that her new marriage isn't even fun. You'd think setting up house, exploring new neighborhood, adjusting being able to do everything together, new church activities would be so exciting and new that you'd be distracted for a while. But apparently things are so bad she's desperately homesick right off the bat. Very scary. 

[Keys]

When I moved away for professional school, I was pretty homesick for probably the first 2ish months? It was a stressful adjustment to be in a new city, navigating that, and acclimating to the new and very stressful school program. But after I adjusted, I loved it there! We moved back home after 4 years of school there, and quite miss living there from time to time. 
 

Katie mentioned in her recent Instagram stories that she is going back home next week for Valentine’s Day. She said her family delayed their Valentine’s Day celebration to the end of the month, so she’s going to be staying longer until then. It didn’t sound like Travis would be going with her. So they’ll be presumably spending a few weeks apart, including their first Valentine’s as a married couple, it sounded like?

[mango_fandango]

I never really got homesick when I went to university. The one time I was homesick was on my year abroad… I freaking hated it. My feelings about it didn’t improve whilst I was out there. But at least it was only temporary. I can’t imagine being stuck in an unhappy marriage in the Quiverfull cult where divorce is so hugely discouraged.