Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

[AussieKrissy]

9 minutes ago, Bobology said:

Josh has got to be envious of Jill... only two kids, husband close to being a lawyer (which was teen Josh's professed ambition,) goes where she wants, can have alcohol if she wants, public school for the kids, but most of all... free from JB's chains of oppression. 

I wonder how many of them secretly are jealous? 

[Sabine]

9 minutes ago, Bobology said:

Josh has got to be envious of Jill... only two kids, husband close to being a lawyer (which was teen Josh's professed ambition,) goes where she wants, can have alcohol if she wants, public school for the kids, but most of all... free from JB's chains of oppression. 

He can get a job, move out, get a vasectomy and send his kids to school. Heck he could write a tell all book and make some cash of that to help with the financial burden, and dear Anna can go with him or she can get a divorce. But he has never shown any interest in doing so. As for booze, i would not be surprised if he has access to it and does indulge every now and then. 

[donnal]

58 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

I wonder how many of them secretly are jealous? 

I wonder this too. I think Jessa will never admit even to herself that there's anything wrong with their upbringing or way of life. I think Jinger has strayed exactly to her comfort level.  Hard to tell with Joy, I think she could also be content with where she landed.  As for the guys, John and Joe are probably content with their lives (at the moment).

I think Josiah would be most likely to be secretly jealous.  I feel like he would looooove the freedom to choose his own life, but isn't brave enough to go for it.

Edited September 7, 2020 by donnal

[Bobology]

Yes, he could choose to do those things to free himself, but he hasn't. He is now more controlled (from what we can see) than any of the other 2nd gen. So I do believe he is envious of Jill because she seems to be mostly free from the confines of the JB cult.

[Audrey2]

Remember, Josiah was the one who spent so long at ALERT. Sadly, I think he had all of his choices taken out of him.

[squiddysquid]

11 hours ago, frugalitymom said:

I’ve never been prouder, I never ever thought it would be Jill. I think therapy is helping her a lot. 

Guess that confirms they're using some sort of birth control too.

[wendy-sparkles]

I think Josh is stuck with the Duggars even though it seems he might be deeply unhappy, purely for financial reasons - they just have more children than they can support comfortably without JB and Michelle's help. I mean - look at where they are living, a glorified shed. Obviously they need to stop having children as it just exacerbates both the financial and Josh's unhappiness situation, but Anna's so deep in the kool-aid I think Josh's only options are either abstinence or quiverfull (or divorce, which he definitely can't afford).

Jill and Derick have been really helped in breaking out by quitting their work as missionaries, and it seems like maybe they inherited some money, or had some support from Cathy, in order to buy their own house. I think we can pretty safely say that they only ones with any chance of leaving are ones with some sort of financial independence - Joy and Austin (except they seem really happy and well suited for the life they have) Jeremy and Jinger (who are instead limited by Jeremy's preacher career/image, and need the show for the exposure if not the money), Jason (who keeps flipping houses?). I think Josiah's only hope is if he got his own job or started his own business while he can still absorb the financial hit he might take.  Maybe people would watch a youtube channel by Anna out of morbid curiosity? Josh was interested in videography at some point, that might actually be a skill he has.

[OrchidBlossom]

A girl goes away for like 5 days to get ready for an upcoming move and Jill pulls this power move... damn 

[Melissa1977]

8 hours ago, Sabine said:

He can get a job, move out, get a vasectomy and send his kids to school. Heck he could write a tell all book and make some cash of that to help with the financial burden, and dear Anna can go with him or she can get a divorce. But he has never shown any interest in doing so. As for booze, i would not be surprised if he has access to it and does indulge every now and then. 

A book could give him some money, but not enough for a living. And where can he find a job? Who wants to hire a man like him? Yes, many fundies keep saying molestation is normal at teen ages, but I'm sure it's all hypocrisy. No way they want to have Josh near. He's stuck. In addition, he probably loves his kids (not that he looks an involved parent, but still) and with his background he could lose them in case of divorce). 

I agree with some poster who says that Josh may have access to booze, but in that case, he has to hide. He cannot enjoy it with friends. He's like a grounded kid and will be for a long long time.

[AussieKrissy]

20 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

A book could give him some money, but not enough for a living. And where can he find a job? Who wants to hire a man like him? Yes, many fundies keep saying molestation is normal at teen ages, but I'm sure it's all hypocrisy. No way they want to have Josh near. He's stuck. In addition, he probably loves his kids (not that he looks an involved parent, but still) and with his background he could lose them in case of divorce). 

I agree with some poster who says that Josh may have access to booze, but in that case, he has to hide. He cannot enjoy it with friends. He's like a grounded kid and will be for a long long time.

It makes me wonder if they are in the shed because of financial reasons or if he was starting to wonder again when they lived in their own house in the area. I always thought they sold it in case josh sued. Now I think that was convenient excuse and a better reason was now he is completely back under jbs watchful eye and Anna has his parents help watching and controlling him.  

[Glasgowghirl]

9 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

Remember, Josiah was the one who spent so long at ALERT. Sadly, I think he had all of his choices taken out of him.

I feel terrible for him, he came back from Alert a totally different person and lost his personality. As child and young teen Josiah was confident, always seemed to enjoy joking around and also was interested in learning, he would ask questions on the show, I think Jim Bob felt threatened by that and at times he appeared to show contempt towards Josiah. I hope him and Lauren are happier than they appear to be. 

[molecule]

19 hours ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

She confirmed it's with booze. Screenshots below in case the comments disappear. 

  Hide contents

I've been saying/thinking this a lot lately, you go, Jill! 

Is that the real Jill saying that? It doesn't have the blue verified checkmark next to it like the other comment does.

[justmy2cents]

8 minutes ago, molecule said:

Is that the real Jill saying that? It doesn't have the blue verified checkmark next to it like the other comment does.

I see a check mark

 

[SassyPants]

I am happy for Jill because she is now living in a world with choices. Jill gets to decide what her life will be, not JB or Gothard or Michelle. EVERY adult should have the ability to exercise free will.

Do Joe and Kendra actually want to have a baby a year for the next 20 years? Does Josh want any part of his current life? 
Does 30 YO Jana want to live at home and sleep with youngsters?

[Audrey2]

I am proud of Jill and her growth and I hope that Jill and yes, even Derick, continue to grow. It's very easy to have solid black and white thoughts on people who are gay. It's less easy when your child's best friend since elementary school, the same best friend who has spent the night at your house countless times and knows your house as well as their own, comes out as gay in high school.

Edited September 7, 2020 by Audrey2

[sableduck]

I’m actually totally shocked that Jill is drinking alcohol. Unlike wearing pants or sending your kids to school, alcohol is still pretty damned in the southern baptist church.  Most non denominational churches now aren’t as anti alcohol, but Baptist churches still are.

To give you an idea how indoctrinated this is, my husband, who has not been to his Baptist church in eleven years, still automatically looks around to see if anyone he knows is in the restaurant before ordering a drink and has only recently done it in front of his parents.  If Jill is drinking alcohol, that signals they are moving away from any form of conservative Christianity.  Pants wearing is okay, public school is kind of okay, but alcohol is still very much not okay, and defiantly not publicly.

But Jill apparently doesn’t give a shit who knows she’s drinking, which to someone like me who grew up in that world is a huge step. Plus it leads me to believe she’s on birth control. Gothard spent a lot of time talking about the dangers of alcohol(one often told story was about how a businessman lost his business because he wouldn’t allow alcohol to be served there), and when it came to women it was all about your body being a temple that could be housing a baby at any moment so you as a woman must never drink. This would all have been drilled into Jill’s head growing up.

Jim Bob is probably fasting and crying for his prodigal daughter to safely return to the Gothard fold.

Edited September 7, 2020 by sableduck

[feministxtian]

Jill is already so far away from the brainwashing she was raised with, I see no reason why she won't keep going. Ok, she'll probably never be a total leftie, but you have to give her credit. Pants, nose ring, public school, only 2 kids and now booze! Wow! I can see why JB wants to keep her away from the other kids...talk about a "bad influence". I really think Jill is going to surprise us in the future. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

15 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I wonder how many of them secretly are jealous? 

Several of them. 

Jill & Derrick are now at most Fundy lite, boarding mainstream conservative Christians, honestly that is way better than I ever hopped for a Duggar this quickly. I thought it would take YEARS away from the TTH before this happened. 

[Idlewild]

I bet Jeremy is secretly jealous. We’ve seen his ‘sophisticated’ dinners for Jinger with Andre Bocelli playing in the background and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. I bet he’d love to be a wine snob! 

[Four is Enough]

16 hours ago, Bobology said:

Josh has got to be envious of Jill... only two kids, husband close to being a lawyer (which was teen Josh's professed ambition,) goes where she wants, can have alcohol if she wants, public school for the kids, but most of all... free from JB's chains of oppression. 

You all have said everything I would have said about Josh, including the get a job thing.. but I dont' see anything in Josh that would make him do such a thing. He seems content to think that things should come to him.

[nausicaa]

12 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Guess that confirms they're using some sort of birth control too.

You know, I never really thought about this before. But I guess if you are a Quiverfull wife in your fertile years, you can't really safely drink since there's always a chance that you are pregnant at any moment.

I know most IFBs are teetotalers, but I wonder how the Vision Forum crowd navigated this. 

4 hours ago, sableduck said:

I’m actually totally shocked that Jill is drinking alcohol. Unlike wearing pants or sending your kids to school, alcohol is still pretty damned in the southern baptist church.  Most non denominational churches now aren’t as anti alcohol, but Baptist churches still are.

I'm really surprised too. Most skirts-only people will still admit they don't believe it's a sin or a salvation issue to wear pants. However, the majority of teetotaling churches most certainly believe alcohol is a sin issue. 

I can't believe I'm about to say something nice about Derick but, I actually think it's even cooler that he doesn't drink and Jill went ahead and had a pina colada. I'm kind of uncomfortable when we cheer on Jinger for doing things it's clear she's just doing to please Jeremy. My goal isn't for these women to just take on a modern secular appearance. My goal is for them to think for themselves and be their own people. Jill really seems to be doing that and good for Derick for not being the controlling ass I thought he was. 

[Grace]

4 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

You know, I never really thought about this before. But I guess if you are a Quiverfull wife in your fertile years, you can't really safely drink since there's always a chance that you are pregnant at any moment.

I know most IFBs are teetotalers, but I wonder how the Vision Forum crowd navigated this. 

Nah. If they were temperature tracking to actively try to get pregnant they would know when they are not pregnant. There isn't always a chance you could.be pregnant at any moment. If you have a period and have not yet ovulated there is zero chance that you are pregnant. Lots of women who are trying to conceive still drink during that window

[donnal]

1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

I bet Jeremy is secretly jealous. We’ve seen his ‘sophisticated’ dinners for Jinger with Andre Bocelli playing in the background and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. I bet he’d love to be a wine snob! 

Has he specifically stated that he doesn't drink at all?  I feel like he might drink a bit of wine and probably pretends to be a wine snob by tossing around wine buzz words to impress Jinger, who doesn't know any better.  I think he just keeps it off camera to stay 'on brand'.

[nausicaa]

1 minute ago, Grace said:

Nah. If they were temperature tracking to actively try to get pregnant they would know when they are not pregnant. There isn't always a chance you could.be pregnant at any moment. If you have a period and have not yet ovulated there is zero chance that you are pregnant. Lots of women who are trying to conceive still drink during that window

True, but how many of them are actively temperature tracking? I got the impression many of them actually are just letting it happen, like Kendra. And if that's the case, they wouldn't know if they were someone who ovulates during their period or has small periods while pregnant, so there really wouldn't be a very safe window. 

And maybe it's just me, but I'd be terrible at keeping track in my head of when I last had my period and when my husband and I had last had sex. I completely forget the start date of my last period if I don't mark it in my date book.  If I were Quiverfull, I'd forgo the pina coladas only to avoid having to do so much damn math. ?

[Iamtheway]

7 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

now he is completely back under jbs watchful eye and Anna has his parents help watching and controlling him.  

If he wasn’t such a smug turd I’d almost feel sorry for him. What a sad existence. 

1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

I bet Jeremy is secretly jealous. We’ve seen his ‘sophisticated’ dinners for Jinger with Andre Bocelli playing in the background and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. I bet he’d love to be a wine snob! 

With or without the actual wine I feel ”wine snob” perfectly describes him.