Lori Alexander 56: Lori Wants Others to Outbreed Islam for Her

[louisa05]

Dinner last night was wings at Hooter's. If Lori is reading, she is dead now. You're welcome, everyone. 

That doodle about career women vs. SAHMs is the stupidest thing I've ever read. Almost every single woman I know who is married finds satisfaction and fulfillment in her marriage. I do.  And almost every single woman I know who has kids finds satisfaction and fulfillment in raising her kids. Whether they have jobs or stay home. Yes, I know a few who don't. I'm sure we all do. But such is life. I know one woman who seems to hate her kids and everything she has to do with them. But she is also mentally and emotionally exactly the same as when we met in seventh grade. So no surprise there, 12 year olds aren't cut out for raising children.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, a close friend has seven kids. She's not fundie or QF; they love kids so they kept having them. She's a SAHM and she is very fulfilled and satisfied with her life. Watch her with her kids for five minutes and you would see it. 

And, you know what, most women I know find satisfaction and fulfillment in their jobs, too. I absolutely do. I love that I can go into a room and take care of those kids and make sure they still learn when their teacher is gone. I love that teachers tell me that they don't worry when I'm their sub because they know the kids love me and that things will run like when they are there. I love that I get to love and nurture children even though I didn't get to have my own. I love that in third grade on Thursday a little girl was struggling with math and while I was helping her, on the third problem we did, all of the sudden, she lit up and said, "oh, I GET IT!". Then she did the rest by herself and only missed one problem. 

I'm sorry for these idiot women following Lori who read that doodle and told her how true it was. How horrible it must be to find no fulfillment or satisfaction in your life, especially in your husband or children. If you have to turn to martyrdom and declaring your whole life to be "self-sacrifice and self-denial" in order to live with your circumstances...well, if you're a Christian, that's not what Jesus promised us anyway. He said, "I came that you might have life and have it more abundantly". And in Colossians, Paul told us that "Whatever you do, work at it with your whole heart, as working for the Lord". He didn't say, "only do this and only do it in misery while congratulating yourself on your self-sacrifice and self-denial". He said "work at it with your whole heart". Totally different implication. 

I'm not sorry for Lori, though. She is an ignorant. miserable old bitch. And she deserves her misery. But, FFS, stop spreading it to others, you old hag. 

 

[Momto2Princesses]

This made me chuckle. 

 

[wallysmommy]

As we approach the United States Thanksgiving Holiday, I'd like to share with you my version of an Alexander Family conversation:

Alexander son:  We're going to Mom and Dad's this year for Thanksgiving.  I am the Headship.  You have no say.  It is God's will that we partake of Thanksgiving with my parents as in the 5th Commandment we are told Honor thy Father and Mother.  Be a good Titus 2 wife and go put on your modest clothes.  Mom is making her special soup, Einkorn bread, and a big salad.  We will feast heartily.

Alexander DIL:  (thinking)  Oh, Fuck!  Here we go.  Another dinner with the self-righteous hag and her pompous asshole husband.  What will she harp on this time?  My clothes?  My hair?  My make-up?  My hidden tattoo?  My choice of shampoo?  How I allowed baby Alexander to have a cookie when it wasn't cookie time?  And more of that puke soup, hard, dry bread slathered in $14 a pound butter, and wilted salad.  I wonder how fast we can make an escape.  Maybe we can stop at McDonald's.  Oh, wait, they are closed today.  Shit! Shit! Shit!

DIL answers meekly: "Yes, Dear Headship."

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

[Loveday]

"Prudently at Home" is quite the bitch, isn't she? 

[feministxtian]

Ok, so I don't have a job that changes other people's lives, I design trade show booths. BUT...it pays well, the company is open and accepting, involved in the community, the higher-ups set the example of team work and working for the common good of the company. Told my boss that my kids were coming and she, jokingly, said she'd have others make sure I did not take my computer home and work over the weekend no matter how busy we were. Well, the threats of clobbering me upside the head were jokes, the not taking my computer home was serious. Oh, and the benefits ROCK!!!!

Housework: I don't do much housework at all. Two reasons...first, hubs works part time so he feels it's HIS job to do the housework so I don't have to do it when I get home. Second, since my accident, well...the back says "fuck you" to many things. We don't fight about it AT ALL. In the 21 years we've been together we've had ONE fight about housework. He didn't like the way I was vacuuming. I gave him the vacuum and told him to do it. He's done it ever since. 

I mean, right now, he's watching some movie that doesn't interest me in the least. He knows that, and he knows that I'll just ignore the movie. I mean, he's into it so what kind of bitch would I be if I bitched about it? The man endures enough of my geek shit. 

And, my sisters here on FJ...this is the one place, cyber or IRL that I can let my geek/nerd flag fly and feel perfectly comfortable doing it. Y'all are my tribe. I'm proud to be a part of this sisterhood. 

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

Ok, so I don't have a job that changes other people's lives, I design trade show booths. BUT...it pays well, the company is open and accepting, involved in the community, the higher-ups set the example of team work and working for the common good of the company. 

I have to design a tri-fold board for an intern fair in a few weeks and I cannot visualize how it should look. I couldn’t begin to imagine where I would start with a trade show booth! 

And while not in the traditional sense, you do have a job that impacts or changes lives. I might not be able to visualize or implement a design, but I do know that trade shows are designed to draw interest and that can have substantial impacts on a business (and on consumers at large).  

Plus, your job has been life changing for you and your husband, and those positive impacts ripple outward. 

[feministxtian]

9 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

I have to design a tri-fold board for an intern fair in a few weeks and I cannot visualize how it should look. I couldn’t begin to imagine where I would start with a trade show booth! 

And while not in the traditional sense, you do have a job that impacts or changes lives. I might not be able to visualize or implement a design, but I do know that trade shows are designed to draw interest and that can have substantial impacts on a business (and on consumers at large).  

Plus, your job has been life changing for you and your husband, and those positive impacts ripple outward. 

If you want some help, lemme know. I probably can put something together for you as a starting point for ideas. 

Umm...not to sound conceited but I'm pretty good at that sort of shit. 

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

I have to design a tri-fold board for an intern fair in a few weeks and I cannot visualize how it should look. I couldn’t begin to imagine where I would start with a trade show booth! 

And while not in the traditional sense, you do have a job that impacts or changes lives. I might not be able to visualize or implement a design, but I do know that trade shows are designed to draw interest and that can have substantial impacts on a business (and on consumers at large).  

Plus, your job has been life changing for you and your husband, and those positive impacts ripple outward. 

A job doesn't have to be the traditional sort of caring/nurturing professions to be fulfilling or impact the world. I hope I didn't imply that. I was just talking about my own job. And many days, it doesn't seem like it is accomplishing anything. Some days, it is more or less just herding cats. Friday, it was totally just herding cats. 

 

[feministxtian]

11 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

A job doesn't have to be the traditional sort of caring/nurturing professions to be fulfilling or impact the world. I hope I didn't imply that. I was just talking about my own job. And many days, it doesn't seem like it is accomplishing anything. Some days, it is more or less just herding cats. Friday, it was totally just herding cats. 

 

I do the herding cats thing regularly. Occasionally literally with Death & Destruction and more often figuratively trying to deal with conflicting information from the people who interface with the clients (who are about the WORST). Meh, it pays the bills, it's not physically or mentally strenuous, suits my creativity and ability to think fast on my feet. 

And, considering I really don't like most of the human race, it's probably best that I get to sit in my little cubicle and do my thing without having to constantly stifle the urge to beat the shit out of people. 

[Hisey]

Lori posted a photo of her dad on her IG. Apparently he feels a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders since he no longer has to support Lori's mom. Not because she was sick and caring for her was hard work (that would make sense, we all have mixed feelings about such things). Instead. . . according to Lori. . . he's been a "provider" for a family since he was teen, and now his "provider" role ended with her death, and he is relieved.

I don't understand. How much could Lori's mother have cost to support? Especially before she became ill. A few clothes, some food. . .are old ladies really that expensive? Lori acts like he just crossed a line item off his budget.

And was he really "providing for her" anyway? Presumably, at 87, he is retired and they were living off social security/pension/retirement. He wasn't out there digging ditches every day, so she could eat. 

I wonder, if Lori's dad had died first, would she be rejoicing that her mom's housewife role was over? "Mom feels that a heavy load has been lifted off her shoulders since she no longer has to wash dad's underwear (yes, it's bittersweet since she misses my dad deeply)."

Anyhow, doesn't Lori's dad have to still "provide" for himself? Is someone else paying his bills and buying his groceries? 

Quote

thetransformedwife

Bearing the burden to support a family is not easy. This is my 87 year old dad. He has borne the responsibility of caring for family since he was 13 years old when his mom had rheumatic fever until the day my mom passed away in August. He no longer bears that burden and feels a heavy load has been lifted off of his shoulders. (Yes, it’s bittersweet since he misses my mom deeply.) Appreciate your husband if he bears the burden of providing. You are blessed! ❤️

 

[Coconut Flan]

Warped views of life are her trademark. 

[FullOfGravy]

18 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Instead. . . according to Lori. . . he's been a "provider" for a family since he was teen, and now his "provider" role ended with her death, and he is relieved.

Uh, so does Lori also expect Ken to feel relieved if she kicks the bucket before he does?  She's got to be more expensive to provide for than her mother was, and it's not like she contributes much to the household.

[Sarah92]

What the fuck? What person talks like that or says that? I hope Lori is making it up. Idk I just find it super weird. Like "yep now that your mom died I can live my days free of the burden of having to provide for her". I can't imagine either of my parents saying something like that. 

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, Sarah92 said:

What the fuck? What person talks like that or says that? I hope Lori is making it up. Idk I just find it super weird. Like "yep now that your mom died I can live my days free of the burden of having to provide for her". I can't imagine either of my parents saying something like that. 

Lori needs mental help. That is a horrible thing to say. And I sincerely hope that her father doesn't feel that way and that she made this up to make a warped point about her warped view of marriage. 

Of course, she seems to be a pain in the ass, so maybe Ken has told her that he hopes she dies so he isn't under the burden of supporting her. And her insistence on so much expensive shit does make her a burden, I'm sure. 

[feministxtian]

I'll admit that when the mother died I was relieved that I didn't have to take care of her anymore or deal with her shit anymore. 

I KNOW my husband would be DESTROYED if I died. I KNOW this as sure as I know I have green sparkly polish on my toes. The difference? He doesn't have the "burden" of providing for me. Even after I retire, I'll have my own income coming in. The only "burden" he will bear will be paying for my medical insurance through the military (right now about 800 bucks a year). And, in reality, I'll give him the damn 800 bucks. 

Lori is a sicko. 

[Hisey]

I always felt sorry for Lori's mom. She always looked so timid and anxious for approval. I don't know if that's how she really was, but that's how she looks to me. If her hubby is really thinking/saying that kind of stuff, I feel even sorrier for what her life must have been.

I gotta admit, I was shocked when Lori's sister posted a picture of her dying, possibly dead, mother on her facebook. It's her profile pic! The mother is lying in bed, obviously terribly ill. She  may even have passed, I don't know. She definitely seems unconscious.  I don't even know if she knew her picture was being taken. II wonder if she would've wanted her picture taken, as she always was perfectly groomed and lovely in any other photo we've seen of her. )

Around her is the Alexander family, except Lori, Ken and their kids. They all have big grins on their faces. Everyone is surrounding grandma, and everyone is smiling for the camera. 

Maybe this is commonplace when a family member is dying? I don't know what's normal. My family was too dysfunctional for me to judge. Perhaps it is a final picture with grandma, and it meant a lot to her daughter so she posted it as her profile.

In any event, Lori is not in sight.

4 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Even after I retire, I'll have my own income coming in.

I do too. But I think my husband would grieve either way. He'd grieve because I was gone, whether or not he was supporting me. I'm sure that's the case for you, too, from what you've written.

[feministxtian]

3 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I gotta admit, I was shocked when Lori's sister posted a picture of her dying, possibly dead, mother on her facebook. It's her profile pic! The mother is lying in bed, obviously terribly ill. She  may even have passed, I don't know. She definitely seems unconscious.  I don't even know if she knew her picture was being taken. II wonder if she would've wanted her picture taken, as she always was perfectly groomed and lovely in any other photo we've seen of her. )

There are NO pictures of the mother in existence from when she was dying. The only pictures are the ones that pop up in my flashbacks and nightmares. The whole damn family is fucked in the head. 

[BullyJBG]

As a widow, I can relate to the mixed, bittersweet feelings. But this is extreme. Lori's dad may feel relieved for awhile, but then loneliness will set in. As well as the weight of taking care of the home by himself. I don't know how that was; if he had help with grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, but it's all on him. There's the thoughts of, oh yeah, I can go out to this or that social thing, I can travel, etc. I don't know what his health is like at 87, but he now IS free in that way. I remember the feelings of that, even though I was a 30-something, not an 80-something. It's weird, though.

 But then again, these are Lori's words. Not necessarily his words, at least not his all the time.

[lilwriter85]

13 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I always felt sorry for Lori's mom. She always looked so timid and anxious for approval. I don't know if that's how she really was, but that's how she looks to me. If her hubby is really thinking/saying that kind of stuff, I feel even sorrier for what her life must have been.

I gotta admit, I was shocked when Lori's sister posted a picture of her dying, possibly dead, mother on her facebook. It's her profile pic! The mother is lying in bed, obviously terribly ill. She  may even have passed, I don't know. She definitely seems unconscious.  I don't even know if she knew her picture was being taken. II wonder if she would've wanted her picture taken, as she always was perfectly groomed and lovely in any other photo we've seen of her. )

Around her is the Alexander family, except Lori, Ken and their kids. They all have big grins on their faces. Everyone is surrounding grandma, and everyone is smiling for the camera. 

Maybe this is commonplace when a family member is dying? I don't know what's normal. My family was too dysfunctional for me to judge. Perhaps it is a final picture with grandma, and it meant a lot to her daughter so she posted it as her profile.

In any event, Lori is not in sight.

 

I've seen a couple of similar situations on social media and I do think it's a bit strange. The first time was eight years ago when a family friend's father was dying of cancer. She posted pictures on Facebook of family members visiting him at home and later at a hospice facility and in couple of pictures he didn't seem conscious in a couple of the pictures.  In the last couple of days of his life, she didn't post pics, but gave updates and then announced his death. 

Last year, a friend of mine was telling me about drama that went on when her step-grandmother was dying.  Her step-aunt was posting pics of the bed bound and sometimes sleeping grandma on Facebook and there were fights in the family about that. 

[wallysmommy]

Before my dad became ill, he forbade me to ever post pictures of him if he were sick. My cousins posted pictures of my uncle (my dads younger brother) as he declined and was in a nursing home and my dad thought it was in poor taste. I was also instructed both parents wanted closed casket graveside funerals. They didn’t like the thought of anyone staring at their dead bodies. My brother and I kept their wishes. There are no pictures of my dad after his 85th birthday when he was well enough to go to his favorite restaurant. He passed 7 months later.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, BullyJBG said:

As a widow, I can relate to the mixed, bittersweet feelings. But this is extreme. Lori's dad may feel relieved for awhile, but then loneliness will set in. As well as the weight of taking care of the home by himself. I don't know how that was; if he had help with grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, but it's all on him. There's the thoughts of, oh yeah, I can go out to this or that social thing, I can travel, etc. I don't know what his health is like at 87, but he now IS free in that way. I remember the feelings of that, even though I was a 30-something, not an 80-something. It's weird, though.

 But then again, these are Lori's words. Not necessarily his words, at least not his all the time.

I can certainly understand what you are saying. But Lori is saying something different. She's saying her dad is glad he doesn't have the *expense* of her mother anymore. Not even her sick mother, but just her mother period. Apparently, he's been supporting one household or another since age 13 and he's glad to be done.

[louisa05]

15 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I can certainly understand what you are saying. But Lori is saying something different. She's saying her dad is glad he doesn't have the *expense* of her mother anymore. Not even her sick mother, but just her mother period. Apparently, he's been supporting one household or another since age 13 and he's glad to be done.

Yes, this. She makes no reference to caregiving.

And even given that, I know that for me, when my dad died, after three years of being there 2-3 days a week to take care of stuff for them and my life revolving around his treatment schedule and my parents's needs, I didn't feel relieved right away. I felt lost. I remember staring at my empty calendar about three days after his funeral and saying out loud, "what do I do now?". It was even worse for my mother who did the daily caregiving at home. She has also said that she'd gladly take care of him just to still have him with her. 

[cara]

In fairness to Lori's dad, he was never fully on board with the women stay home, men provide idea. He insisted his daughters get an education (and presumably use it to work.)

Same with Ken, he speaks fondly of their early marriage when he and Lori were both studying and working towards a future of collaborative financial security. He was also the one who insisted the kids went to college. 

So yeah, I'd be pretty miffed if I had to spend my life financially supporting someone that essentially tricked me into it. Especially these Alexander women and their endless expensive health problems. I know I wouldn't have done it. 

[Sarah92]

So this question made me laugh out loud. What kind of biblically illiterate gotcha question is this?  Like many of the men that post on her page, he thinks him self quite clever with this question. But the answer is neither because God isn't a man or a woman, God isn't even human. Sure he's referred to as God the Father but that's probably so it's easier for the human mind to relate. Similarly with Jesus, I'd guess it had to do with the representation of Adam.  (Not a biblical scholar so I won't  claim total accuracy) Biblically both traditionally masculine and feminine expressions are used for God. So as a feminist I will answer him "I'll stand before the Creator of the universe who is not bound by sex or gender. God is spirit. "

Please stop with the gotcha questions, they're rarely as clever as you think they are. In fact, I think my dog could do better. Blue heelers are too smart for their own good.