JinJer and Felicity 42: American Girl (grand)Duggar

[tabitha2]

Perhaps Jinger  is mostly content to follow stronger personalities like Jessa and Jeremy and let them have fun with decorating and such,  esp if it’s matters that aren’t really of interest to them. We are all wired differently.Not everyone is a leader and some are content followers by nature. 

[Lurker]

Jessa decorates the nursery will most likely get part of an episode with JinJer standing by making faces as she throws out or hides  all the books.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

You know something?   Babies don't need fancy pants "decorated" nurseries.  All infants really need to thrive is one of these (or something very similar):  https://www.finnishbabybox.com/en/ 

And love.  The rest comes later.  And can be just as simple, low tech, low cost, and easy to attain.

And the decoration of a nursery, if you are lucky enough to have the space, should be child-friendly.  Adaptable.  Easy to add to or subtract from as child grows.  There is no need to have a "theme" other than "child" - let alone "southwestern." 

As for Jinger, I stand by being harsh.  It is one thing not to like or care about decorating.  It is another to dodge the responsibility and stand by to let others take over, unless it is your spouse or partner.  Jeremy lives there too.  IIRC, Jinger stood by and let bossy Jessa stick Jeremy's precious books in a closet. 

She needs to woman up and do her own decorating - or lack of decorating - and not let or make her sisters take over.  She's an adult.  She should adult.

 

Or just maybe it's an excuse to have her sisters who she misses visit. Micheal did the same thing in Chicago and let Erin and Kelly take over decorating the place because she missed them and wanted to see them and besides the books I don't think Jeremy gives two shits what the house looks like. 

[SilverBeach]

12 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

So glad it isn’t pink, pink and more pink

My DDs nursery was blue, the room was freshly painted tat color when I bought the house before she was born, and I wasn't changing it.

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And the decoration of a nursery, if you are lucky enough to have the space, should be child-friendly.  Adaptable.  Easy to add to or subtract from as child grows.  There is no need to have a "theme" other than "child" - let alone "southwestern." 

As for Jinger, I stand by being harsh.  It is one thing not to like or care about decorating.  It is another to dodge the responsibility and stand by to let others take over, unless it is your spouse or partner.  Jeremy lives there too.  IIRC, Jinger stood by and let bossy Jessa stick Jeremy's precious books in a closet. 

She needs to woman up and do her own decorating - or lack of decorating - and not let or make her sisters take over.  She's an adult.  She should adult.

 

What's so wrong with a "theme"? I had a theme for each of my kids. #1 and #2 were gender neutral because I didn't know what kind of baby I was having. #3 went overboard with the boy shit. It was fun. 

About "dodging responsibility"...how the hell do YOU know what she did or didn't do? Maybe she is not really into decorating. Maybe she just doesn't have the balls to stand up to Jessa. What fucking ever. I've let my husband take care of "decorating" when we moved. I just couldn't be bothered or was too overwhelmed to make many decisions. When me move, HE organizes and I sit in a corner and have a panic attack because I can't deal with moving chaos. Are you going to say that I need to "adult"? I adult every 2 fucking weeks when I pay the bills. The rest of the time I don't want to adult. I don't want to make any decisions. I don't care enough to make any decisions. 

[Dandruff]

I wonder how Rufus is adjusting to the new baby in the house.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I'm also surprised that none of our crusading Moms have pointed out yet that either the crib or the plant has to be moved as soon as Felicity can pull herself up.  And I hate macrame plant hangers.  I lived through the 70s, made a few myself, and they were pug-ugly then. 

I don't know if I'm a crusading mom, but I did notice the dangling part of the plant hanger by the crib.  They have a few months, or more, to move the plant to a different spot, or a different room. Not a huge deal yet.

I thought the nursery decor was okay. It isn't the style I would choose, given  carte blanche, but it does seem pretty soothing and restful. We didn't have a nursery for our kids exactly, so having a whole room just for a newborn seems like a pleasant luxury to me. Even if the baby still slept in the master bedroom, I would have enjoyed having a room just for the baby's clothes, diapers, and all the presents our kind family and friends gave us. (Seriously, bringing home gifts from Christmas was a huge stress when we didn't really have any place to put things. Even the board books never really had a good spot.)

As far as whether Jinger needs to do her own decorating or not, I don't really have a big opinion. I suppose if she really hated the end result, she can certainly always do something about it. Maybe she just doesn't like to stand up to TLC or her family, or maybe she just doesn't care? 

[nastyhobbitses]

I actually really like the southwestern look. For one, it's surprisingly gender-neutral for a couple that follows a culture that's so obsessed with gender roles and slathering girls in pink and frills from day one so everyone knows that their baby has a vagina. And it's a gender-neutral decor that isn't just grey. I would 86 that hanging plant, though. Once Felicity gains more motor skills that's a strangulation/falling object hazard just waiting to happen. 

I honestly don't mind people decorating nurseries as long as functionality, comfort and safety take priority over aesthetics. Decorating is fun, and who gives a fuck if the baby isn't going to care? The parents do and as long as they're not putting their baby's safety or comfort in jeopardy, I don't see the harm in making your baby's room look nice if you're into that sort of thing and have the space. 

[jqlgoblue]

Jinger may actually care about some things (coffee, clothes) and not care at all about decor. I'm like this with food so anytime I'm on a trip, dating someone, etc. I generally go with the flow RE food and choose to reserve my voice for other things I care more about.

[justoneoftwo]

I like themes.  I also will say that the animals we painted in our LOs room really interested him, and helped him stay still for changes and as he grew he loved naming them.  We had an ocean theme, but his favorite animal is the rino, so we added one.

I do hate how people think that themes are gendered.  His room is blue, so everyone said we were hoping for a boy, no we like the ocean, and what color should it be?  The ocean is more or less blue

[VineHeart137]

6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

You know something?   Babies don't need fancy pants "decorated" nurseries.  All infants really need to thrive is one of these (or something very similar):  https://www.finnishbabybox.com/en/ 

And love.  The rest comes later.  And can be just as simple, low tech, low cost, and easy to attain.

And the decoration of a nursery, if you are lucky enough to have the space, should be child-friendly.  Adaptable.  Easy to add to or subtract from as child grows.  There is no need to have a "theme" other than "child" - let alone "southwestern." 

As for Jinger, I stand by being harsh.  It is one thing not to like or care about decorating.  It is another to dodge the responsibility and stand by to let others take over, unless it is your spouse or partner.  Jeremy lives there too.  IIRC, Jinger stood by and let bossy Jessa stick Jeremy's precious books in a closet. 

She needs to woman up and do her own decorating - or lack of decorating - and not let or make her sisters take over.  She's an adult.  She should adult.

 

I don't get this. People literally pay money to have other people decorate for them. So if Jinger had hired a stranger would that somehow suddenly count as "adulting", or are you against all interior decorators as a general principle? Because otherwise I'm not really seeing how having her sisters do it is so different. They love her and they enjoy decorating. Why not?

And Jeremy is no pushover. If he wanted to handle the decorating, he would have told Jinger to keep her sisters at home. As far as we know, he was ok with it, so I guess he needs to "man up" as well?

As far as nurseries not needing "themes"- Not that it really matters since people should be able to decorate their spaces however they want, but to me a "theme" is Disney characters or zoo animals. "Southwestern" is more of a style, like "shabby chic" or "modern". Most people have some sort of style they prefer to follow in their homes. Either way, whether southwestern is a style or a theme or whatever, not seeing what's the big deal.

[Irishy]

Nurseries in themselves are a very American thing. In Europe it’s not as common. Babies sleep in parents rooms and may eventually graduate to another bedroom but it may be with other siblings or just a spare bedroom that becomes their room. It’s not usually decorated before the birth. But of course there are exceptions. I associate having a pre done nursery with the luxury of a big house and also you guys have baby showers, and those gifts gotta be put to use I guess. 

[CarrotCake]

1 hour ago, VineHeart137 said:

I don't get this. People literally pay money to have other people decorate for them. So if Jinger had hired a stranger would that somehow suddenly count as "adulting", or are you against all interior decorators as a general principle? Because otherwise I'm not really seeing how having her sisters do it is so different. They love her and they enjoy decorating. Why not?

Actually it is better: they have an interior decorater that knows them throughout and can probably guess what they like much better than a hired one.

I also don't see the problem, as long as JinJer asked them to do it and they did not push it onto them.

33 minutes ago, Irishy said:

Nurseries in themselves are a very American thing. In Europe it’s not as common. Babies sleep in parents rooms and may eventually graduate to another bedroom but it may be with other siblings or just a spare bedroom that becomes their room. It’s not usually decorated before the birth. But of course there are exceptions. I associate having a pre done nursery with the luxury of a big house and also you guys have baby showers, and those gifts gotta be put to use I guess. 

Here in the Netherlands nurseries are really common and ready before birth as well. Although the baby might sleep at the parents bedroom in the first weeks/months they still have their own room.

So it is not necessary an American vs European thing. 

[SorenaJ]

All nurseries are gender neutral. There is no such thing as a gendered nursery.

[justmy2cents]

I thought the article stated that they helped Jinger set up the nursery which would mean that she was involved. I don't see the problem here.

[Chewing Gum]

3 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Actually it is better: they have an interior decorater that knows them throughout and can probably guess what they like much better than a hired one.

I also don't see the problem, as long as JinJer asked them to do it and they did not push it onto them.

Here in the Netherlands nurseries are really common and ready before birth as well. Although the baby might sleep at the parents bedroom in the first weeks/months they still have their own room.

So it is not necessary an American vs European thing. 

However I do have to add most of our (Dutch) nurseries just have a crib, changing table and a closet. We don’t often have themes, rocking chairs and plaids. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

GryffindorDisappointment's first three rooms were in military housing. White/off-white walls, beige carpet in the USA; white walls, beige vinyl floor over concrete in Germany. In all instances, her room was also our "guest" room, so her crib got shoved into a corner. I used the top of a chest of drawers as a "changing" place. There was a diaper pail in the space between the chest of drawers and her crib. There were three "Disney Baby" things on the wall - I think they were plastic, and they were bright colors. In Germany, I put maps, alphabets, sight words, etc., on her bedroom walls. 

To be honest, I'm jealous of those who could "do" a real nursery. I didn't want pink/frilly for her room/bedding (and she slept on BLUE sheets sometimes, wearing BLUE pajamas or night gowns). 

When she was old enough to express an opinion, her bedrooms in various houses were:  pink, white, blue, white, purple, pink, and her final request:  black. Yay. That was fun painting over when she moved out. lol

[Meggo]

I didn't have enough time to DO a nursery. We had a month before finding out about The Boy and him coming home. So family dropped off stuff (came home one day to a crib, another day to a car seat). 

We had a baby shower - but it was a month after he was home. And I didn't really like all the matchy matchy stuff. So I went with primary colors in a taupe-y room (that's the color it was before he showed up). I changed his bum on the dresser (or floor, or in bed or...) and he had some fun monster sheets on his crib. But beyond that - it was just stuff we loved.

Now that he's in a big boy room (in another house, and is actually a big boy at 5) - we did a little decorating in his new room - then he decided to move across the hall - so we haven't put stuff on the walls in the newer room yet - but it's going to focus on Giraffes because he adores Giraffes (and has a stuffy giraffe who looks like he's been through the ringer been loved to bits)

[Nikedagain?]

13 hours ago, feministxtian said:

plant shelves up high (waiting to see if the kitties manage the leap from the steps to the ledge)

I'm going to need photos/videos in the event this comes to fruition.

I'm sure you understand. 

[feministxtian]

5 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

I'm going to need photos/videos in the event this comes to fruition.

I'm sure you understand. 

No problem. I foresee a lot of pictures and laughter in my future. 23 days and counting.

[kachuu]

9 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Or just maybe it's an excuse to have her sisters who she misses visit. Micheal did the same thing in Chicago and let Erin and Kelly take over decorating the place because she missed them and wanted to see them and besides the books I don't think Jeremy gives two shits what the house looks like. 

Agreed. I was constantly on the phone with my mom to decorate my nugget's room. It bonded us over this crazy new experience I was having. Infants are a big deal and creates a stronger bond especially between women.

If anything, the room decor is for the parents (typically the mom) and making the ease of taking care of a newborn easier. Clearly the baby doesn't truly appreciate it yet. But parents should want to shower their kid (especially the first) with all the baby crap out there. 

HELL IT'S 3 AM AND I'M FEEDING THIS KID AGAIN EVERY THREE HOURS. YOU BETTER BE DAMN SURE I'M GOING TO SIT IN A ROOM WHERE THE HAPPINESS I DECORATED SHOWERS ME WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION. Infants are hard!

[VelociRapture]

Personally, it’s not really about the decor, it’s about the fact that Jinger has never seemed capable of making decisions for herself* and she is continuing to be defended for that despite being a parent now. The views that she and Jeremy hold are just as ugly as the ones held by her family and those opinions and beliefs are going to be passed down to Felicity now - including the belief that the woman should defer to her husband in all things and Jinger’s seeming inability to stand up for herself against her family. 

I get that some people can really struggle with decision making and standing up for themselves. I struggle with those a lot myself, but being a parent means you’re agreeing to be an advocate for your child and that means you’re going to have to speak up in really uncomfortable situations or make difficult decisions sometimes. The Nursery decor isn’t all that important in the grand scheme, but what about if Felicity wants to play soccer one day or go to public school or if she has a painful medical condition (like endometriosis) that can be eased with birth control? Will Jinger advocate for her child’s needs, even if it means going against what her family believes or what Jeremy decides? It’s too soon to tell on that for sure, but I personally don’t  think Jinger would and I do think we need to start holding her (and Jeremy) accountable for the ugly beliefs they’ll be teaching Felicity if situations like that begin to pop up.

And I do think there’s somewhat of a double standard at play with JinJer as well. You don’t see most of her siblings being defended or given passes in the same way JinJer are. I get that it’s easy to forget their ugly beliefs when they present such a polished public image, but those beliefs are still there. 

*As far as we know, Jinger doesn’t suffer from any mental illnesses that could be causing or contributing to this. If she is then they’ve chosen not to discuss it, as is their right. From what we know it appears to largely stem from her natural personality and her upbringing - and while I have immense sympathy for her really shitty childhood it doesn’t excuse her choices at this point. 

(I rewrote this once and edited it a few times. I’m hoping I made my point clear enough in a fair way.)

[JesSky03]

15 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

 

I'm also surprised that none of our crusading Moms have pointed out yet that either the crib or the plant has to be moved as soon as Felicity can pull herself up.  And I hate macrame plant hangers.  I lived through the 70s, made a few myself, and they were pug-ugly then.

 

I definitely thought of that with the plant but didn't want to be seen as a "crusading mom". The hook might have just already been in the ceiling- our house has one in the living room that was there before we moved in. They may not be thinking that far ahead. Our video monitor needs to be plugged in and the only spot that worked and was near an outlet was by the changing table. The cord hangs down just out of reach of the baby while I'm changing him but as he gets bigger he'll be able to get it so we'll have to tape it to the wall or get some of those chord hook thingies. 

Our nursery is a gender neutral blue and decorated with superhereos. The theme and color was decided before we knew gender. To some it may look boyish and we did have a boy, but it wasn't really planned that way (we actually had most of this stuff before I was even pregnant because of my husband's love for superheros). We did get a giant poster of spiderwoman but we need to get some more female representation in there yet- its just harder to find women superhero things. 

*I didn't pick out the violent spiderman scene depicted on the wall...that was my husband and he insists that its fine for a nursery 

Spoiler

 

[kachuu]

14 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

 

  Hide contents

 

My cat is all over my babies things too. She thinks she got all this new stuff to sleep on 

[SamiKatz]

Jana seems to like decorating though, and is good at it.  If she wanted to do it, why not let her?  I doubt very much Jinger and Jeremy had no input at all.

There is a lot of BEC going on in these threads.