JinJer and Felicity 42: American Girl (grand)Duggar

[Melissa1977]

Love the nursery, not because it's cute (it is) but because it's neutral! No pinkkkk!!!1!!!!!11!!! 

Jinger looks beautiful and is not hiding her postpartum body. She's all natural and gorgeous that way.

I hope Jinger is like Jessa: not too involved as sistermom but caring as a mother. 

Is Jeremy's church somehow quiverful? Is there a chance that they can keep their family small? 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

7 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

Jana seems to like decorating though, and is good at it.  If she wanted to do it, why not let her?  I doubt very much Jinger and Jeremy had no input at all.

There is a lot of BEC going on in these threads.

Yeah I don't see the big deal with others helping set up/decorate the nursery if mom & dad don't know what they want or just want help with it.

Jinger & Felicity look good, Jeremy is an attention hog so I don't care what he looks like.

As for the nursery, NOT my taste at all.  

[VelociRapture]

14 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Love the nursery, not because it's cute (it is) but because it's neutral! No pinkkkk!!!1!!!!!11!!! 

Jinger looks beautiful and is not hiding her postpartum body. She's all natural and gorgeous that way.

I hope Jinger is like Jessa: not too involved as sistermom but caring as a mother. 

Is Jeremy's church somehow quiverful? Is there a chance that they can keep their family small? 

As far as we know Jeremy and his Church do not appear to be Quiverful.

ETA: I skimmed through his Chirch’s Statement of faith and didn’t see anything about children mentioned, but holy shit does that thing ramble on! I kept thinking I was almost done, but nope - it just kept going. 

[JesSky03]

21 minutes ago, kachuu said:

My cat is all over my babies things too. She thinks she got all this new stuff to sleep on 

Yassss they think EVERYTHING is for them. We have another long haired cat not pictured and she loves sleeping in the bassinet or his little baby rocker. My kid is learning to live with cat hair early lol. 

[Audrey2]

24 minutes ago, kachuu said:

My cat is all over my babies things too. She thinks she got all this new stuff to sleep on 

As I am so fond of saying, it's a cat. They know the one place that you do not want them to hang out and that is their favorite place! I know-  I have multiple cats.

[kachuu]

1 minute ago, Audrey2 said:

As I am so fond of saying, it's a cat. They know the one place that you do not want them to hang out and that is their favorite place! I know-  I have multiple cats.

Is this not the TRUTH.

I swear I tell her that is not for you, she cocks her head as if to say "yeah, bitch, it is! WATCH ME LAY ON IT"

[singsingsing]

You guys are making me want to adopt a cat again. Stop. 

[JesSky03]

3 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

As I am so fond of saying, it's a cat. They know the one place that you do not want them to hang out and that is their favorite place! I know-  I have multiple cats.

There is no truer statement. I've even starting putting toys and things on the baby rocker to try and keep the cat out but she does not give a fuck. She will lay right on top of that stuff too. 

[VelociRapture]

3 minutes ago, kachuu said:

Is this not the TRUTH.

I swear I tell her that is not for you, she cocks her head as if to say "yeah, bitch, it is! WATCH ME LAY ON IT"

My 35 pound dog may be part cat then. She claimed the glider in our nursery for herself the day it was placed in there. She also has a history of (so gently) stealing binkines from mouths, playing with toys that aren’t her’s, and jumping into things she shouldn’t - like the pack n play or crib. Her latest trick is jumping onto the seat of the high chair and looking around like she’s waiting to be served food. 

ETA: I placed a dog bed in the nursery while I was pregnant so she’d have somewhere to relax while we were in there. She uses it sometimes, but she prefers to store her toys there and use the glider instead. 

[Audrey2]

2 minutes ago, kachuu said:

Is this not the TRUTH.

I swear I tell her that is not for you, she cocks her head as if to say "yeah, bitch, it is! WATCH ME LAY ON IT"

That is my one female cat, AKA my Hissy Missy or my teenage daughter who hates me. I swear, sometimes when she's up on things she's not supposed to be on if she could shoot me a middle digit she would!

[JesSky03]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

You guys are making me want to adopt a cat again. Stop. 

Which one do you want- I'll ship him or her to you  

[tabitha2]

I just hope Jessa dosen’t monopolize not only the decor but the baby...I Believe her and Michelle together take over the mothering of the much desired baby girl and leave Jinger out however unintentionally. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Speaking of cats-doing-what-they-want. This morning, for the first time EVER in her fifteen years in our household, Lola made the leap from the kitchen windowsill to the counter, then sauntered over to the stove where she LICKED the skillet (which had thankfully cooled from breakfast-cooking). 

I yelled "LOLA MARIE!" (she doesn't have a middle name, but it just came out like that) and she just looked at me, then casually jumped to the floor and washed her face.

Turd. Good thing she's cute.

[VelociRapture]

1 minute ago, tabitha2 said:

I just hope Jessa dosen’t monopolize not only the decor but the baby...I Believe her and Michelle together take over the mothering of the much desired baby girl and leave Jinger out however unintentionally. 

I think that would be more of a concern if they lived nearby, but they don’t. All JinJer have to say is “No Visitors please” or “Shut the fuck up and let us parent,”* and the issue is solved. If Jinger is cool with them helping out a lot the first few days then I say let them. She has experience with young kids, but she’s never taken care of them without constant help around (like at TTH) or after having gone through birth. Having her mom and sister help out the first few days or weeks could be something she genuinely wants and could allow her to begin to heal. 

*Obviously they’d be way more polite than this.  

[nst]

19 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

I just hope Jessa dosen’t monopolize not only the decor but the baby...I Believe her and Michelle together take over the mothering of the much desired baby girl and leave Jinger out however unintentionally. 

doesn't Jinger live in Texas whereas Jessa lives at the TTH - i doubt she will monopolize the kid. 

I see her paying special attention to it when she is visiting purely for the fact that it is Jinger's and because Jinger is her BFFFFF

 

[SamiKatz]

12 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Speaking of cats-doing-what-they-want. This morning, for the first time EVER in her fifteen years in our household, Lola made the leap from the kitchen windowsill to the counter, then sauntered over to the stove where she LICKED the skillet (which had thankfully cooled from breakfast-cooking). 

I yelled "LOLA MARIE!" (she doesn't have a middle name, but it just came out like that) and she just looked at me, then casually jumped to the floor and washed her face.

Turd. Good thing she's cute.

In the last few years my sister's cat - who is 18 - starting getting up on tables and counters.  She'd never done it before and due to her age, my sis and her husband handle the cat with kid gloves now.  I think the cat just thought "this is my chance to get away with it so I'm going for it".

I had a cat (a calico), who my friends called Miss Hiss the Bitch.  She was infamous among family and friends for her somewhat surly disposition.

[justoneoftwo]

I will say that many parents step up and advocate for their kids a lot more once they are born.  For some thats where the instinct kicks in. 

[Letizia]

My Pippa Kittleton had no interest in anything baby related as I enthusiastically attempted to give her the baby items first. She inexplicably hates anything you offer to her and loves what she thinks she shouldn’t have. You can’t even give her treats, she likes to feel like she is stealing then. You can’t make a big deal out of feeding her either. Food must be apathetically set down so that she can pretend not to care and eat it once she  thinks no one is looking. So I offered her the crib and bassinett in such a genuine manner that by the time I actually had my daughter, Pippa wouldn’t get near that room. There was no issue with her ever bothering the baby or the puppy as we offered both to her upon their first arrival in our house and she rejected them like they were horrid toys she couldn’t believe we dared offer to her. 

[Meggo]

32 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Speaking of cats-doing-what-they-want. This morning, for the first time EVER in her fifteen years in our household, Lola made the leap from the kitchen windowsill to the counter, then sauntered over to the stove where she LICKED the skillet (which had thankfully cooled from breakfast-cooking). 

I yelled "LOLA MARIE!" (she doesn't have a middle name, but it just came out like that) and she just looked at me, then casually jumped to the floor and washed her face.

Turd. Good thing she's cute.

This makes me laugh! That in a fit of irritation - you, on the SPOT - made up a middle name for your cat - and then called her by it. I love it!!

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, kachuu said:

Is this not the TRUTH.

I swear I tell her that is not for you, she cocks her head as if to say "yeah, bitch, it is! WATCH ME LAY ON IT"

Spoiler

 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

*As far as we know, Jinger doesn’t suffer from any mental illnesses that could be causing or contributing to this. If she is then they’ve chosen not to discuss it, as is their right. From what we know it appears to largely stem from her natural personality and her upbringing - and while I have immense sympathy for her really shitty childhood it doesn’t excuse her choices at this point. 

the shitty childhood and inability to make decisions DOES NOT magically go away at age 24. I'm STILL dealing with parents who told me "how it was going to be", and I'm 54. Looking for a new apartment had me in tears. Legitimately, I could NOT decide. I'm 54 fucking years old. You should be with me when I'm trying to buy furniture or a car. There are things I can be quite decisive about, but there are others that will turn me into a shaking, puking, blubbering mess. 

I think some folks are expecting a magic turnaround from years of brainwashing the minute they leave the TTH. It can take YEARS, therapy and there are aftereffects that last for a long-ass time afterwards. To those of you who didn't have those sorts of parents, you can't (literally) understand what it's like to be so controlled, being told what to think, feel, do, act. So, I feel that expectations are far too high of the kids that have left the TTH. If they haven't changed in 20 years or so, THEN start bitching. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

the shitty childhood and inability to make decisions DOES NOT magically go away at age 24. I'm STILL dealing with parents who told me "how it was going to be", and I'm 54. Looking for a new apartment had me in tears. Legitimately, I could NOT decide. I'm 54 fucking years old. You should be with me when I'm trying to buy furniture or a car. There are things I can be quite decisive about, but there are others that will turn me into a shaking, puking, blubbering mess. 

I think some folks are expecting a magic turnaround from years of brainwashing the minute they leave the TTH. It can take YEARS, therapy and there are aftereffects that last for a long-ass time afterwards. To those of you who didn't have those sorts of parents, you can't (literally) understand what it's like to be so controlled, being told what to think, feel, do, act. So, I feel that expectations are far too high of the kids that have left the TTH. If they haven't changed in 20 years or so, THEN start bitching. 

I really worry about the quick change fundie kids. For example: Alecia and Hope Pennington, Karen Shupe, and Suze Duggar. It seems that they have a lot of negative consequences all at once at a young age that can be really hard to cope with. I think a slow and steady walk away from fundieland is a little easier for some fundies. As they grow and mature they can likely deal with these changes a little better than an 18 year old sheltered fundie suddenly on their own. 

[VelociRapture]

42 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

the shitty childhood and inability to make decisions DOES NOT magically go away at age 24. I'm STILL dealing with parents who told me "how it was going to be", and I'm 54. Looking for a new apartment had me in tears. Legitimately, I could NOT decide. I'm 54 fucking years old. You should be with me when I'm trying to buy furniture or a car. There are things I can be quite decisive about, but there are others that will turn me into a shaking, puking, blubbering mess. 

I think some folks are expecting a magic turnaround from years of brainwashing the minute they leave the TTH. It can take YEARS, therapy and there are aftereffects that last for a long-ass time afterwards. To those of you who didn't have those sorts of parents, you can't (literally) understand what it's like to be so controlled, being told what to think, feel, do, act. So, I feel that expectations are far too high of the kids that have left the TTH. If they haven't changed in 20 years or so, THEN start bitching. 

I’m very sorry you’ve had a difficult childhood and that you’ve struggled because of that, just as I’m sorry for Jinger having had such a shitty childhood. I was clearly speaking specifically about Jinger and her unique situation though. I tried very carefully not to generalize in anyway. If you feel I did and you were offended then I’m sorry for that. 

Did I say those things magically go away though? No, I didn’t. It may be an explanation for why she does what she does, but it’s not an excuse for the way she chooses to act or how she may choose to raise her child because the bottom line is this - an innocent child has now entered the picture. Personally, I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt up until this point, but now? Not so much. Their decisions and actions are going to directly impact Felicity from now on. I honestly hope they do a decent job and that they try their best, but if they choose to raise their daughter the way Jinger was raised then they will deserve to be called out for it just as much as the Dills or any of her other siblings. 

[freshlemonade]

Does anyone know much about Jeremy's upbringing? Jeremy has not embraced much of the "Duggar-way" and probably went along with the courtship rules for Jinger's sake.   I suspect Felicity will be raised a lot more "Vuolo-style," which Jinger may be totally fine with.  

On a lighter topic, sorry to those who hate it, but macrame is back in a big way.  I think I kind of dig it.  Here's a nice $600 macrame chandelier from Anthropologie.....

Spoiler

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/macrame-chandelier?adpos=1o5&adtype=pla&cm_mmc=Google-_-US - Shopping - Home-_-Lighting-_-44552792&color=012&countryCode=US&creative=190593225269&device=c&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3emdiZa93AIVSV8NCh1QTQnxEAQYBSABEgJ0sfD_BwE&inventoryCountry=US&matchtype=&mrkgadid=3202218516&mrkgcl=694&network=g&product_id=44552792&size=ALL&utm_campaign=US - Shopping - Home&utm_content=44552792&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_source=Google&utm_term=Lighting

 

 

 

[singsingsing]

I really don't understand what's going on here. So Jinger apparently likes to have some of her family members help her redecorate. I'm not seeing what the big deal is. Some people love decorating and some people hate it. Maybe Jinger just doesn't have a knack for it but some of her siblings love it, so when they come down to visit she takes advantage of their abilities/interests. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

And while Jinger is obviously not the most assertive person in the world, I've never seen any evidence that she is literally incapable of making a decision for herself. Obviously she would most likely benefit from working to become a bit more assertive, but so would a lot of liberal, secular people. There are like a hundred things that worry me about Jinger a hundred times more than the fact that her family helps her redecorate.