Joy and Austin 17: Staying Off the Internet

[Glasgowghirl]

Looking on Amy's instagram she seems to have acknowledged Jordyn and Josie's birthday more than their parents did she posted pictures of her and them having ice cream and wished them happy birthday. 

[MakeItSo]

I notice what people wear because my eyes see it, but I could really care less. I went to a funeral once and my mom had us all dress up all nice in black suits and all, and the family of the deceased was all in jeans and t-shirts. She STILL talks about this...and I was probably in grade 7 when that happened.  honestly, if you come to my funeral, I don't care if you're in a clown's costume. I'm just glad you came...yeah.

[marmalade]

2 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

Yep, I'm still awake. I think Joy might have changed before or after the wedding. Just saw a pic of her and Amy on instagram. Looks like Joy was wearing a lace, blush or pinkish dress. She is also wearing her glasses in that photo. So I guess she did dress up for the wedding.

That pic was from when she was a bridesmaid at Kendra's wedding. 

[CarrotCake]

I never understand the lack of dressing up on weddings but we see it all the time in fundie land. On the one hand: it is so important and their only formal events (you might even meet your future spouse there) but on the other hand: they probably have a wedding every week so maybe they also get tired of it.

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Why are people conflating being dressed up with being uncomfortable? She isn't being criticized for not wearing four inch stilletos; she is underdressed. There are plenty of comfortable maternity dresses that would have been event appropriate.

And are you really unable to even function in anything more structured than pajamas? 

I'm guessing most of the posters expressing derision at the thought of being expected to wear appropriate clothing for appropriate occasions are really young (i.e., still in college) where living in yoga pants is still acceptable? Having a real job and an adult life will quickly correct you of this notion. And if it doesn't, I can promise you, you will face some issues because of it. 

Hate to break it too you but I'm 47 and I have a real job, I work in a medical billing office, and we can wear what ever we want.  We never see anyone, we go to clients, they don't come to us. When we do go visit clients it is business casual as 99% of the time the people we meet with are wearing scrubs. Today I'm wearing Christmas leggings and a casual top, yesterday I overslept so I wore leggings and a sweatshirt, some days I wear a maxi skirt and cardigan. We can wear shorts in the summer time, and jeans any time.   I make a fairly decent living, and work in a real office it is just that the owner of the company sees no point in suits and ties when we sit in an office all day and see no one.  We consider it a perk to not have to spend a fortune on clothes for work and clothes for casual wear.

6 hours ago, MakeItSo said:

I notice what people wear because my eyes see it, but I could really care less. I went to a funeral once and my mom had us all dress up all nice in black suits and all, and the family of the deceased was all in jeans and t-shirts. She STILL talks about this...and I was probably in grade 7 when that happened.  honestly, if you come to my funeral, I don't care if you're in a clown's costume. I'm just glad you came...yeah.

My husbands family is all blue collar, they are plumbers or carpenters, and they wear jeans everywhere. Last funeral we went to for one of his uncles the CORPSE was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, he always said he wouldn't be caught dead in a suit and tie, so the family figured, it was appropriate. I was "over dressed" in a black cotton skirt and casual black cotton top, but it was the only black I owned that I wouldn't melt in in the July heat, I'm not wearing jeans in 95 degrees F with 85% humidity. 

[Jana814]

I wear black pants and a shirts every day. As I have said in other posts I'm a dog walker. The pants are technically suppose to be leggings but I buy a size bigger so they are not quite leggings. I have a closet full of dress clothes that I haven't woren in years. So I need to go through them and get rid of 80% of them. If I still worked in an business office I would have a ton of business casual pants. 

[SamiKatz]

I don't think Joy's choice of attire is as important as knowing whether she uses sheets with her duvet or not. 

[SassyPants]

My approach: dress for venue, occasion and company. A wedding is not a wedding is not a wedding. Getting married in a religious venue?  Respect the traditions and tenets of that faith and faith house. If you're going to work on a farm or climb mountains, wear appropriate clothing and footwear. If it's cold, raining, snowing, wear some protective, outer garment. If you're riding a horse, perhaps pants would be more appropriate, not many people ride side saddle anymore. Outside event in the heat of the hot summer? I'd avoid thigh high boots and a turtleneck. Be respectful to both the audience and the venue-

I'll give Joy credit, at least her shirt is not PG Duggar skin tight- 

I feel sorry for Joy- she just turned 20...she is old before her time.

The girls in this cult go from baby, to handmaiden, to frumpy in 60 seconds flat- It is depressing.

[JesSky03]

@nastyhobbitses you may be surprised by how little you actually care on the day. I know I was...all those little details I didn't even notice the day of because there was just so many people to visit with and I was just focused on having a good time. The whole thing really just flies by- who wants to spend that time being pissed off about what other people are wearing?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

17 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

@nastyhobbitses you may be surprised by how little you actually care on the day. I know I was...all those little details I didn't even notice the day of because there was just so many people to visit with and I was just focused on having a good time. The whole thing really just flies by- who wants to spend that time being pissed off about what other people are wearing?

OH yeah, let me tell you 21 years later I couldn't tell you what anyone wore with out having to look at pictures.

[MakeItSo]

I think a ) we all place importance on different things. That's ok. We don't all agree. That's ok.

            b ) it's really not that serious. 

            c) this thread kind of reminds me again that weddings are not actually for the couple but for the family

[NakedKnees]

I think most of us have realized this at this point, but wedding attire can be freakin' anything. It's one thing to dress below the requested dress code, and it's another thing to project a level of formality based on your own experience.

On that note, I do take issue with conflating dressing more formally with adulthood. On a daily basis, I see plenty of adults in structured clothes that look terrible, because fashion is subjective and that's my opinion. Likewise, I dedicate 50+ hours a week to my startup job. Wore Birkenstocks, cutoff shorts, handmade hemp jewelery, and visible tattoos today. I know there is a lot of cultural variance between work attire, but it's frankly out-of-touch to assume that people who aren't dressed formally are less professional or adult than others.

[LovelyLuna]

I’m over here thanking the heavens that I didn’t have a wedding and am not likely to have one for decades.  My spouse owns his own business which is doing ok, but not well enough to for us to be well off.  Combined with the sad state of affairs of health care in the U.S., I have to stay single to keep my health care and other things like my in home aid.  If I was married Mr. Luna would be responsible for paying for everything.  

Sometimes I dress up when going out, but some I don’t because I don’t have enough spoons to get dressed up and go out.  I try not to judge ya know?

[kachuu]

14 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

I think most of us have realized this at this point, but wedding attire can be freakin' anything. It's one thing to dress below the requested dress code, and it's another thing to project a level of formality based on your own experience.

On that note, I do take issue with conflating dressing more formally with adulthood. On a daily basis, I see plenty of adults in structured clothes that look terrible, because fashion is subjective and that's my opinion. Likewise, I dedicate 50+ hours a week to my startup job. Wore Birkenstocks, cutoff shorts, handmade hemp jewelery, and visible tattoos today. I know there is a lot of cultural variance between work attire, but it's frankly out-of-touch to assume that people who aren't dressed formally are less professional or adult than others.

Exactly. I work at home- full time job, great insurance. But I wear yoga pants & t-shirts. I'm sure I look like a raggamuffin when I go to the store, but at the end of the day, I don't care. I have a great job, my bills are paid and we have no debt.

 

There are other things in life to get your panties in a wad over. 

[justoneoftwo]

I agree that being comfortable doesn't mean your not an adult, however if you have a formal event and you won't dress appropriately I have no problem telling you to grow up and dress appropriately.  (To be fair I make my one year old dress appropriately for events too) Maybe thats what people meant?

[kachuu]

11 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I agree that being comfortable doesn't mean your not an adult, however if you have a formal event and you won't dress appropriately I have no problem telling you to grow up and dress appropriately.  (To be fair I make my one year old dress appropriately for events too) Maybe thats what people meant?

Unless there is an invitation someone find that specifies this wedding was black tie affair or other specification or if Joy changed before/after the wedding, we'll never know. Weddings come in all shapes and sizes from court houses to lavish affairs. I don't think all the details are known...

 

I do have to agree with whoever said it before, your wedding day is a blur. It goes by so quick and you're pushed off to the next thing before your wrap your head over any tiny moment. You just don't have time to critique what other people wear. Other than the bridal party for those professional pictures, what does it matter anyways? Someone made time in their busy life to celebrate your day with you. I think that is awesome & incredible enough rather then acting hoity-toity about what someone else wears. Those are the bridezillas that everyone secretly hopes falls while walking down the aisle 

[RubyRei]

54 minutes ago, LovelyLuna said:

Sometimes I dress up when going out, but some I don’t because I don’t have enough spoons to get dressed up and go out.  I try not to judge ya know?

@LovelyLunaDon’t have much to add, but fellow spoonie here and I feel ya 100000%!!! Sending all the spoons your way!

[SamiKatz]

My sisters and I still talk about what my step sister wore to my younger sister's wedding.  She wore a (very nice but really low cut and clingy) wrap around dress and had huge feathers in her hair.  Really kind of over the top and  the women were side eyeing her and all "that is not appropriate", and all of the men were like "Wow!  She looks great".  To this day (15 years later), one of my brothers in law talks about how wonderful my ss looked at the wedding.  Ha, ha.

[Iamtheway]

We eloped and got married in a small office in Malaysia. We found one of our required two witnesses at the mall next to the office (long story, but not as long as the story about us getting all the paperwork and finding the first witness. Never get married overseas people!) The witness wife was wearing very colourful leggings. It was awesome. The man that was marrying us asked them how they knew us and the man said he just met us outside in the waiting room but that we seemed nice. 

Good times. Great story. We had a party with friends and family when we came home. I don’t remember what anyone wore. Including my husband. I remember it was fun though. 

kachuu: I also work from home. I have pyjama pants with cupcakes on them and am earning more money then I ever have. Not that I’ve ever worked anywhere with any sort of dresscode. 

[adidas]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

My approach: dress for venue, occasion and company.

I like this. 

I always follow the dress code if it’s specified on a wedding invitation. I really appreciate being given a dress code so I can know I’ll be dressed appropriately, whether it’s a wedding or other occasion. I have a strict dress code at work and I appreciate that too. If it’s clear, there are no excuses (IMO).

When I got married we had a girly shopping trip - I was trying to find shoes. My Aunty came along and while we were shopping she asked me if there was a certain colour she shouldn’t wear (I kept the colour of my bridesmaids dresses a secret and she was just trying to be sneaky  ). Anyway I just said ‘please don’t wear black, I’m a bit old fashioned, black is for funerals not weddings’ ... Lo and behold she turned up to my wedding wearing a black dress! I wasn’t upset or angry, just a bit confused about why she would ask and then knowingly wear the one colour I said not to wear. 

I know the black at weddings thing has changed now (I’ve been married for 21 years and it was old fashioned even back then).

[karen77]

1 hour ago, SamiKatz said:

My sisters and I still talk about what my step sister wore to my younger sister's wedding.  She wore a (very nice but really low cut and clingy) wrap around dress and had huge feathers in her hair.  Really kind of over the top and  the women were side eyeing her and all "that is not appropriate", and all of the men were like "Wow!  She looks great".  To this day (15 years later), one of my brothers in law talks about how wonderful my ss looked at the wedding.  Ha, ha.

My cousin did something like this at my wedding, WAY over the top!! I don't remember what most people wore, except her, funny.

[PumaLover]

Just have to say, this thread provided hours of entertainment while I was waiting in the ER all night with a broken leg. I was dressed appropriately for the ER–stretchy paint-stained pants, a shirt with holes in it, and one Converse shoe while wearing a slipper on the injured foot, LOL.

I was always very awkward with fashion and didn't know how to dress appropriately til I was in my early 20s. I remember wearing Converse and a tie dyed hippie skirt to a wedding in the mid 90s. Not appropriate but I was like 15 or 16. I started dressing nicer and then after my car accident when I gained a bunch of weight, I started dressing back down and most days I can't even be bothered to put on makeup. Course I've also been with my husband for 11+ years so I guess I've kind of let myself go, haha.

[2manyKidzzz]

@PumaLover Wow, I hope you are okay with that broken leg

[Lurker]

@PumaLover I hope you have a quick recovery.

[Bad Wolf]

@PumaLover  Hugs for a speedy recovery.